Meeting & Jalan-jalan Home Visits

After being earlier notified by a staff of Malaysian Aids Foundation (MAF) that there'd be a meeting held at Pertubuhan Komuniti Intan (PKI), Teluk Intan on Saturday, 27th November; I made plans to bring along my mother with me as my sister’s clinic and house happens to be in the same town. And since both Cek Mek and Baby So’od also stay in a home in the same town, I figured I might as well visit them too.

So on Saturday morning, after my usual pasar tani, off we (my mother and I) headed to Teluk Intan. Earlier on Friday, I had already loaded 2 boxes of used clothes into my car. The used clothes had been collected earlier, given by various people. I had of course, chosen only the good ones. I don’t know how some people could even think of giving torn clothes… white-turned-yellow shirts… crumpled clothes… to be given to others. The recipients may be poor, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have any dignity! So no people, before anybody else asks me if I’d accept any more used clothes, the answer is no! I have better things to do than to help throw away the “not fit to be worn” ones.

Anyway, 2 boxes of clothes chosen were mainly adults clothing. I intended to send them to the home where Cek Mek and So’od are staying. You see, the home run by Kak Ana not only caters for children, but also for adults, men and women. I also brought along a small box of babies’ needs, posted to me by a blog reader, for So’od’s use. Other than that, I needed to get a copy of So’od’s birth certificate, to be submitted together with the PAF application for Liza, together with a few other applications to the MAF officer coming for the meeting in Teluk Intan.

Immediately after sending my mother to my sister’s clinic, I went straight to Kak Ana’s place. Kak Ana had earlier told me that she’d be heading to Ipoh, but when I got to her place, she was still home. Apparently, the girl whom Kak Ana was supposed to bring to Ipoh, was unwell, so they cancelled the plan.

We had a chat… Kak Ana, Liza and myself. Basically it was about whether or not Liza should go back to her husband. I told Liza that at the end of the day, it would have to be her own decision, but she should consider all the advice given, by me, by Kak Ana, by her aunts, by her sisters. Frankly, after what she had gone through before when she was still staying with her husband, I’m not too keen on the idea of them getting back together again. I don’t know what her husband had sweet-talked her into, but Liza really looked like she was seriously considering the matter. Hopefully she will use her head when making the decision, not just her heart.

Both Cek Mek and So’od were asleep when I was there, so no, I didn’t want to disturb them.

After lunch at my sister’s house, off I went to PKI for the meeting with the MAF people. They were there to explain to us on the various financial schemes available for the PLHIV families – the Paediatric Aids Fund (PAF), Keep In School Scheme (KISS) and the Medical Assistance Scheme. The meeting didn’t really take that long. The MAF people had also wanted to do home visit assessments to the homes of 3 PAF recipients/applicants. There was one HIV positive child in each home. 2 of them were clients of PKI, while the other one was my client, ie Farah, daughter of Nuri.

Since the MAF people (3 of them) weren’t too sure of the way, they sought our help to show them the way. Hajah Suraban of PKI was initially supposed to bring them meet 2 of her clients only. Nuri stays a bit further away, and so Hajah Suraban was afraid if she joined all the way to Nuri’s place, she’d have to drive back home rather late. She had initially thought I’d be heading straight back to Ipoh after the visits, while the MAF trio, who’d finish their job after the 3rd house, would be heading elsewhere.

After finding out that I’d be coming back to my sister’s house in Teluk Intan after the visits, Hajah Suraban agreed to come along in my car to visit all 3 homes.

So we went in 2 cars, Hajah Suraban in my car while the MAF trio in another car. First stop was the home of a 9 year HIV+ girl whose parents have both died. Her mother died just a few months ago and she’s now being taken care by her aunt. The girl knows she has HIV, but she’s too young to know what HIV is all about. And so she told her schoolmates that she is now taking medication for HIV. Oh dear! So yep, while an HIV+ child must one day know about his/her HIV status, we must really choose a suitable time to be telling them about it. At least we must make sure they know what HIV is all about.

Next stop, another client of PKI, another HIV+ girl. Since the mother makes a living by opening a food stall, and the MAF trio were hungry (they reached Teluk Intan rather late as they had to attend another function in KL the night before, and so they got up late and didn’t have breakfast & lunch), we decided to stop by her stall first to let the hungry trio fill their tummies first.

The hungry faces…

Not wanting to make the lady uncomfortable, we just went to the stall as customers (with 3 very hungry ones!). Hajah Suraban and I just ordered drinks while the three hungry youngsters from MAF had their breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner at 5 pm! Yes, I said youngsters. One of them even said, “Rasa macam keluar makan dengan mak-mak pulak.” (aku lesing kang baru tau!)

After that, we went to the lady’s home, to get more details for the MAF trio to write in the home visit assessment report. It rained while we were there, but since it was getting late, and there was another house we needed to visit, we didn’t wait for the rain to stop. The next house was also in a kampong, and it wouldn’t look too good if suddenly they had visitors so late in the evening, especially nearing Maghrib. So yeah, while I had an umbrella, it was in the car! No choice but to get a bit wet… how wet would depend on how fast I could run to the car.

Next stop, Nuri’s house. Although she’s my client, I’ve never been to her house before. I’ve been to the town where she stays, but at that time, she wasn’t willing to let us visit her at home, afraid that kaypoh neighbours may be asking all sorts of questions. So, while I had no problem showing the way to the town, I wasn’t sure how to get to Nuri’s house. When we reached the town, I called Nuri, telling her exactly where I was, and asking for directions to get to her house. She said I wasn’t far off, but I should turn back and she’d wait by the roadside.

It was almost 6 pm by the time we reached Nuri’s house. The moment we got in, I sought her permission to perform my asar prayer at her house. I knew it would be too late by the time I’d get back to my sister’s house.

Nuri’s daughter, Farah, is such a small girl although she’ll be in form one next year. I got to meet Nuri’s other daughter when I performed the solat asar in her room. She didn’t get out of the room to meet the other visitors even when we were leaving at about 6.30 pm.

Anyway, after the visit to Nuri’s home, we went separate ways. Hajah Suraban and I headed back to Teluk Intan while the MAF trio headed the other way. Their jobs were done and since they were already in Perak and the next day was a Sunday, they figured they might as well make full use of their trip to Perak.

We finally reached Teluk Intan after 7 pm. It was already dark by the time I managed to send Hajah Suraban back to her house. I understood why she wasn’t willing to drive home late. When I sent her home, she showed me the way, and when she finally showed me where to stop, the moment I stopped in front of her house, she said, “Eh, rumah siapa pulak ni?” Hehehe… we missed her house by 2 doors… she showed me the wrong house!

Today being Sunday, and my sister having 2 boxes of milk powder (free samples given to her clinic), we decided to visit Kak Ana’s home. Yep, my 2nd visit in 2 days but first visit for my sisters. Now that they know the place, if they want to send anything there, they can go on their own.

This time both Cek Mek and So’od were wide awake. In fact, Liza’s aunt was also there to visit her. I took the opportunity to talk to the aunt while Kak Ana entertained my sisters in her office. So’od, now almost 3 weeks old, looked fine and healthy. No problem for me to carry him in my arms as he’s too young to recognise people to be choosy as to who he’d allow to carry him. As for Cek Mek, I’m no longer a familiar face to her, and so I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t want me to carry her. But when I asked her if I could borrow a ball she was holding in her hand, she gladly gave the ball to me. And when I carried her in my arms, she didn’t struggle. Even Liza said that Cek Mek is such a good girl. Very unlike Liza’s 2 year old son who now stays with her at the home, who throws a tantrum every time he doesn’t get what he wants.

After we left the place, I purposely sent a text message to Sharifah (Cek Mek’s mother) telling her that I just visited her little girl. I was told by Kak Ana that it had been quite some time since she last visited her daughter. I know Sharifah loves her daughter, but when she gets too comfortable not having to take care of her daughter, sometimes she may forget that she should be visiting the girl more often. By telling her that I had just visited her daughter, she’d be reminded that she should visit soon.

Well, she’d better visit soon, before Cek Mek becomes uncomfortable with her…

Baby So’od…

When the matron from the shelter home in KL expressed her concern that there may not be anyone to pay full attention to the baby if I send Liza and baby So’od to KL, Liza told me that she could take care of the baby herself. Liza seemed matured enough, so I figured there shouldn’t be a problem.

However, after delivering baby So’od on Tuesday, the little boy was well and fine but it seemed like Liza was the one who had problems. Low HB, then feeling dizzy every time she got up. Lucky for her, the nurses helped out to take care of little So’od at the hospital.

The doctors however said there was nothing wrong with Liza and discharged her from the hospital today. She definitely wasn’t ready to travel all the way to KL and I wasn’t ready to send her either. If I were to send her to KL, I’d need to make a move in the morning to make it a day trip. This weekend I have weddings to attend. So initially I thought Monday would be a good day and the matron from the KL shelter home had no problem with that. After discussing with Liza and her sister whom I got to meet on Wednesday when I went to visit Liza at the maternity ward, we agreed that Liza and So’od be sent to Kak Ana’s shelter home first (the home is meant more for disabled children… but Kak Ana had been very nice to me by offering her place if any of the cases I handled needed temporary shelter. This was the same place I sent my little Cek Mek.) and then when it is more convenient for me, I’d send them to KL.

This morning when Liza confirmed that she would be discharged, I told her I’d fetch her after zohor. I figured the timing would be just nice for me to send them to Kak Ana’s place about 1 1/4 hours drive away. So immediately after zohor I rushed to the hospital. When I asked Liza if she was ready to leave, she said she had not received any documents whatsoever after the doctor told her that she'd be discharged. Aduh, I thought maybe her sister would come to settle whatever necessary… but turned out she didn’t even come.

I went to the counter to ask, and was told that all the documents were ready, they were just waiting for someone to settle the bill and get the medication from the pharmacy. Well, looked like Opah Pi had to be the one helping to settle whatever necessary. I told Liza to get changed while I settle matters.

Settling the bill was not a problem at all… it was done within just a minute after I reached the payment counter. Next, to get their medication from the pharmacy. That was where I got to wait for quite some time. There were so many people, and when I got my number, it was 24 numbers away to my turn…

Got the medications, went back to the maternity ward to get Liza and baby So’od. Liza had changed but had lied back on the bed again. She couldn’t stand for too long, she’d get dizzy. So’od was not a problem at all… he was such a good boy. I helped to pack their stuff, took a wheelchair for Liza, and as I carried So’od from the bed onto Liza’s lap, he opened his eyes wide and looked around.

We then got stuck with all the procedures at the counter before I could wheel Liza out of the ward. Then, another round at the guard downstairs before leaving the building. I guess they needed to take extra precautions to avoid babies being kidnapped out of the ward by the wrong people.

Liza still being weak and unable to stand up for too long, I had to help carry little So’od every time Liza needed to get up. So’od really opened his eyes wide when we were about to leave the building, even the lady guard at the door commented that So’od was so cute.

Liza then got in to the back seat of my car where she could lie down. I then placed So’od beside her. Throughout the journey to Kak Ana’s place she was lying down, except when we reached a small town when she asked if I could stop to buy a drink as she was so thirsty.

It was already 5.30 pm by the time we reached Kak Ana’s place. The moment I brought So’od down from the car, the kids there were shouting, “Eh, eh! Ada baby! Keciknya dia!!”

All the kids were calling So’od baby except one little girl aged 1 year plus who came over to So’od and said, “Kakak…” Hehehe… she is the youngest there now and had been so used to calling every other kid kakak, so she thought So’od was kakak too. In the first place, So’od is not even a girl… but then even we adults wouldn’t be able to tell if a 4 day old baby is fully clothed, right?

And oh, guess who was the little girl who called So’od kakak? Yep, none other than My Little Cek Mek! Oh, she’s a big girl now, I almost didn’t recognise her. Somehow, looking at her now, her face… her short straight hair… reminded me so much of  a little someone many many years ago… ME!!

Anyway, Liza was really knocked out by the time we got to Kak Ana’s place, she vomitted and really needed to lie down. So Kak Ana just led her to one of the girl’s beds. I asked for a place where I could perform solat asar… I knew I wouldn’t have the time to do so by the time I could get back to Ipoh as it was already getting late. After my prayers, I heard little So’od crying. Kak Ana was busy in the kitchen while Liza was still in pain. I then looked for So’od’s milk bottle to feed him. He drank a bit and then I put him back beside his mother on the bed. Then I went over to Kak Ana’s office to discuss some matters quickly.

After a few minutes So’od cried again. When I went to check out, I heard Liza saying, “Lampin dia dah penuh, tolong… saya tak larat sangat ni.” Liza was obviously in pain… she wasn’t fit to travel yet but what choice did I have? It was already 6 pm then, so I gave So’od his dose of medication (to be given every 6 hours); changed his diapers (and cleaning his poo in the process), then carried him away from the bed to give Liza some space to really rest.

Kak Ana then took the baby from me to enable me to go back. It was already after 6 pm, she too was concerned about me getting home after dark. We (Liza, Kak Ana and myself) had already decided that the earliest I’d be sending Liza to KL will be after Raya Haji, to give Liza more time to rest and get better before travelling again.

On the way back to Ipoh, I called the matron from the shelter home to tell her I’d have to postpone sending Liza to her place until after raya. Then I called my mother to inform her that I’d be home late. If I didn’t call her, she’d be worried sick seeing that I wasn’t home by Maghrib.

I reached home safely at 7.30 pm. When I left home after zohor, thinking that all would be ready when I reached the hospital, I thought I’d be able to get back home by 6.30 pm.  But what to do… So’od punya pasal, dah gelap baru balik.

And So’od made me add some new job descriptions to my voluntary work – cleaning his poo and changing his diapers. Even Cek Mek was not that privileged… :)

Looks like I have a week break before sending Liza and baby So’od to KL. Hopefully, by then Liza will recover.

 

Good news, bad news…

I was shopping for some personal things this afternoon when I suddenly saw a familiar face that I didn’t expect at all to see, of all places, at a hypermarket in Ipoh. Without mistake, the person I saw was definitely Anita. Anita? Hmmm… what was she doing in Ipoh? And at a hypermarket?

I knew very likely she wasn’t there alone, so I looked around her. Yep, saw Kak Ana! And there was a little toddler in a pram – who else could it be other than… my little Cek Mek!! Woohoo!!

I went over to them. Kak Ana had brought Anita to the hospital earlier to see SN and since they ran out of diapers for the little ones, Kak Ana decided to go to the hypermarket to shop for the needs of the infants at her shelter home.

Cek Mek is no longer as chubby as she used to be. Oh well, the last I saw her, all she did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep. Now? Well, she’s almost 10 months old (wah, so fast??!) and dah buas, so yeah, that explains why she’s no longer chubby! But she has not lost that old selamba aka muka sadin looks… just like her Opah Pi… heheheh…

The little girl still has to go for follow ups at the hospital and get her blood tested, but alhamdulillah, so far so good.

On another note, I got a call tonight from Sofie’s number. At first I thought it was Sofie herself. But it turned out to be Sofie’s sister. Sofie was the one who asked her to call me to inform me that she was unwell and that they were waiting for a neighbour’s car to help bring Sofie to the hospital. According to the sister, Sofie was too weak to get up.

Hmmm… I’m wondering if her condition is back to square one… like when I first met her? Looks like I have to rearrange my plans for this week – instead of visiting Lin first, I’d probably better visit Sofie first.

I sure hope it’s nothing serious though…

Of birth certs and ICs

Last week both myself and Anita received a big "Urusan Seri Paduka Baginda" envelope containing the reply from JPN Putrajaya (to my letter enquiring on how to go about Anita's case) and a whole bunch of forms to be filled up.

Good that we got the reply with all the procedures and what not, telling us to go to JPN Ipoh, but our problems are far from over. Just looking through the forms makes me pening already. Who can sign the surat akuan? Who can be the penganjur?

Kak Ana and I decided to go to JPN Ipoh without filling in the forms first. We'd need to meet the officer to ensure we get the right people to fill in and sign the forms.

Last night Anita called to ask if I'd be free today to go to JPN. I had some urgent matters to settle at the office in the morning so I told them I should be free after 2 pm. And this morning we confirmed to meet up at JPN Ipoh at 2pm.

Just after I left my house nearing 2 pm, Anita called to tell me they had just left the home. Duh! That would mean they would only reach Ipoh after about 1 hour 15 minutes or so. I decided to stop by our NGO center, but after a while I figured I might as well go to JPN and ask around first. And so I did.

First to the IC department. Asked one lady at one of the counters where I should go just to get some clarifications. She told me to get a number first. Went to the counter to get a number, the lady told me to go direct to counter 9; no need to take number.

Since the customer at counter 9 was taking so long with the officer there, I decided to go up to the birth registration department first.

This time after enquiring at the information counter, I was asked to go direct to the next counter as the lady there was the officer in charge of late registration of birth. I still had to wait my turn, but the guy in front of me looked like he was almost done, so I thought I wouldn't have to wait that long.

But the guy had soooo many queries, from one thing to another. I couldn't help eavesdropping as his story was rather interesting. The guy, quite an elderly guy, had married a foreigner, but after giving birth, the lady cabut and left him - leaving the baby with him.

Now he wants to register for his baby's birth, but since it is considered late registration, there's another form he'd need to fill. The problem is, his marriage was not registered in Malaysia. Which would not be a problem to register the child if the mother was around... but she's not! And worse still, the birth of the child was not at the hospital, as a matter of fact, the officer at the counter couldn't help but chuckle when the guy wrote in the form "Tempat lahir: Tepi Jalan." She told the guy to at the very least just name the jalan. Ya lorr uncle, tepi jalan mana? :)

After listening to the guy's problem, I guess the late registration for Anita's baby shouldn't be much of a problem. I just wanted to make sure who could sign the form if the person is not a family member.

As I was heading back to the IC department, Kak Ana called to ask where I was. They had just reached JPN. I decided to wait for them, and was pleasantly surprised to see not only Anita and her baby boy, but also Kak Ana's daughter carrying none other than my little Cek Mek, and also another child staying at the home, 2 year old Nanda.

Goodness, Cek Mek has grown! But I was a bit concerned noticing some sort of rashes she seemed to be developing at her neck and her arms. I was even more concerned when Kak Ana mentioned that the problem started after they changed her medication. She's already 5 months + but still on medication? The doctor had not been affirmative about her HIV status but every time the little girl was brought to the hospital, they'd definitely poke her with those needles to get her blood tested.

Now even Kak Ana is worried that Cek Mek may be positive after all. (I had been worried since day one when she was delivered through normal delivery.) However, I am still hoping and praying that she's still being given medication just as precautionary measures and not because she's HIV positive.

Anyway, back to the problem of Anita's IC. I was told by the officer that since Anita's parents are not around (mother passed away and father nowhere to be found), we'd need to get 2 people who had known Anita for at least 10 years to sign the surat akuan. That would definitely leave me and Kak Ana out.

Somehow we'd still need to get the help of 2 of Anita's half sisters. The evil sister in Ipoh is out of the question. Anita has another sister in KL whom according to her, "boleh bawa berunding" while another sister back in her kampong, wouldn't mind signing the form but would be reluctant to come when called for an interview by the JPN.

Kak Ana and I decided that it would be best to submit the forms in KL to make it easier for the sisters to go for the interview. As for the sister back in her kampong, we told her to coax that sister, telling her that we'd pay for the bus fares when she is needed to go to KL.

So that was round 1. There shouldn't be too much problem with the little boy's birth cert (except for citizenship status which can only be confirmed after Anita settles her IC problem - but that can be rectified later), but looks like we still have a long way to go to get Anita's IC done.

Next step - coax her non-evil sisters...

Raya Rounds - #3

Sunday, 27th September 2009 - By 9 am I made a move from home as I had promised to pick up Shila and her daughter at their home at 9.30 am. I made it to their house at 9.30 am on the dot! I had also earlier tried to call Jah to ask if she wanted to join us (she usually never says no to invitations to jalan-jalan anywhere). But my calls didn't get through and my SMS was not replied. Since her house was just on the way, Shila and I decided to simply terjah her house.

Oh well, she wasn't home. She had been at her in-law's house since Raya. Too bad then, the kaki jalan was not able to join us for our trip to the shelter home.

I purposely invited Shila to come along. There were times when she would whine about her life... how unlucky she was etc etc. I wanted her to see for herself the group of people who were left by their family members at a shelter home and the shelter home ended up as their permanent home because their family members never came back for them. I wanted Shila to remember to be thankful for the family support that she has.

We reached the home at about 10.40 am...

Anita was cleaning up the tables at their yet-to-be-completed dining hall. She held her one year old baby while working. Wiping the table and having a good morning towel around her neck, Anita looked like she was running a mamak restaurant. According to Kak Ana, Anita is quite hardworking when it comes to doing all the household chores. She doesn't have to be told what to do. Very unlike Sharifah who stayed there earlier - Sharifah was quite lazy if compared to Anita. She even wakes up late. Their problems may have been the same (out of wedlock pregnancy & childbirth) but both came with totally different upbringing - Sharifah the manja type while Anita was brought up without much family love and care.

I took Anita's son from her arms. The boy seemed quite comfortable sitting on my lap. He is so used to being held in his mother's arms, as long as you hold him, he's quiet. By right he should already be able to walk, but because Anita had been rather overprotective of him, the boy has yet to walk. Kak Ana has told Anita to let the boy roam free so he'd learn to walk sooner rather than just berkepit celah ketiak mak...

After a while, Kak Ana called out another girl to take the boy to his room so he could take a nap. He looked rather sleepy.

Then out came Kak Ana's daughter with none other than... yep, my little Cek Mek!!

Cute little Cek Mek with not cute at all Cek Pi. Notice the peha berlipat and pipi labuh? (Cek Mek's lah, not Cek Pi's!)

Frankly, I think Cek Mek must be one of the easiest baby to take care of. Other than making sure the girl is given her medication on time, she is so, so tak banyak ragam and not cranky at all! Yep, still with her muka sadin, but when I asked her to "senyumlah sikit", she did smile! Woo hoo! Apa lagi, cairlah Opah Pi... hehehe... And when Kak Ana was telling me about her, the little girl actually did some goo goo ga ga stuff, like saying, "Hey, why are you all talking about me?!"

After a while, Anita came over to invite us to the dining hall where she had prepared some drinks and raya cookies. Well, most of the Raya cookies were donated by visitors but Kak Ana did make some with Anita and one or two others helping out. I brought some cookies as well, but the bulk of the things in the box I brought down from my car were actually for my babies... milk powder, baby food, baby biscuits etc. Nak bagi cucu makanlah katakan...

Anyway, the home, which provides shelter for about 50 occupants, mainly the mentally handicapped, still needs lots of funds to complete the necessary renovations and to cover for their monthly expenses. This year they have been getting less donations as compared to last year, and so far nobody has invited them for any raya functions whatsoever, unlike when they were earlier housed in Sabak Bernam (the landlord wanted back the land so Kak Ana had to find a new place).

This is the yet-to-be-completed dining hall...

Here it is from a different angle...

But it is still being used anyway as they don't have enough space inside the house.

Inside, they are repainting the walls...

Those who would like to help out, you can call the home at 05-6237530 and speak to Puan Rohana Saidin. Or you can bank in your contributions to their account:

RUMAH TITIAN ASHRAFUL ROHANIAH
CIMB 08021252940051

Tomorrow? Oh, no house visits tomorrow. I need to continue with my puasa enam. But I will probably continue with my raya rounds when I really really raya next weekend, insyaAllah!

My (a bit chubby) little Cek Mek

A few minutes after settling down at my office this morning, I received a text message from Sharifah, telling me that she and Kak Ana were on their way to Ipoh. She said she'd call once they get near my office.

So when I heard the James Bond ring tone on my hand phone, I thought it was Sharifah. But when I looked at my hand phone, Rosnah's name appeared. Rosnah was at the hospital for her appointment, and she was hoping to see me. She thought I was at the counseling room - the place where she met me the last time. I think she still doesn't understand that I'm just a volunteer and not working full time at the hospital. Anyway, I told her I'd go to the hospital a bit later and that I'd call her when I get there.

Sharifah's call came about half an hour later. I went down from my office with the necessary papers for Sharifah's blood test, started looking around, then I saw Kak Ana. Kak Ana's daughter who's back for holidays from overseas tagged along. Little Cek Mek was at the back seat with Sharifah. I went straight in to usik-usik the little girl's cheeks... waking her up from her sleep... hehehe... ini Opah tak boleh harap punya! Couldn't resist it, my little Cek Mek's chubbier than before. (the last time I saw her she was only 10 days old - now she's already 7 weeks old.)

Anyway, they then went straight to the hospital, after which they planned to go to JPN for Cek Mek's MyKid. Kak Ana promised she'd call me once they settled things so we could meet up for lunch.

After settling some things at the office, I went out for a while to go to the hospital to meet up with Rosnah. Her husband died a month ago and she herself had just been diagnosed positive, so I figured I'd better make it a point to meet her. And I was very lucky today in the sense that one car just got out of a parking space quite near the specialist clinic, so I got to park my car quite easily this time.

When Rosnah called me last month, she didn't want me to visit her at home as she was staying with her mom and she didn't want her mom to know anything about her husband's HIV. This time I assured her that I'd visit her as a friend and that I wouldn't mention anything about HIV. She finally agreed to let me visit her at home next week. So more about her after my visit, ok?

After the hospital visit, I went back to my office and waited for Sharifah's or Kak Ana's call. But this time, it was Sofie who called - from a new number. I had been trying to call her a few times before this but simply couldn't get her. Apparently she lost the old phone, with my number and all. So when she got hold of another phone, she was not able to call me as she didn't have my number. She was at the hospital today (yeah, I was there too, but I didn't see her!) and got my number from SN. Sofie had asked for a referral letter from SN but since SN was very busy today, she didn't have the time to prepare the letter. Sofie sought my help to get the letter from SN once it's ready; then pass it to her during my next visit to her house.

Sharifah called me around noon, asking if I had any more stock of free milk powder for the baby. I didn't have any since my sister had not brought back any, so I told her I'd only be getting some this weekend. It was only after I put down the phone that I figured... haiyah! So stupid lah ini Pi Bani! The home is in the same town as my sister's clinic, so I might as well get Kak Ana to get the milk powder from the clinic!

I immediately called my sister to ask if it was okay for Kak Ana to go get the box of milk powder from the clinic, and after getting the go-ahead, I called Kak Ana to ask if she'd mind going to the clinic herself. Kak Ana and Sharifah were then about to leave JPN, wanting to go out and buy diapers for Cek Mek, but when I asked where she wanted to shop, she wasn't sure herself. So I told them to go to a particular hypermarket and I'd meet up with them for lunch there.

Well, I got to the place earlier than them, so when they got there, we went shopping together. Yeah, my little Cek Mek went shopping too! This time her eyes were wide open, so yeah, I did chat (oh well, more like goo goo ga ga) with her while pushing the shopping trolley...

We then had lunch, during which we sort of "drilled" Sharifah with the kind of questions she may be asked when she and Kak Ana goes to court this Friday.

Court?? Well yes, remember earlier on I mentioned about Cek Mek's matter being reported to the state welfare? Apparently, what happened was that when the hospital welfare officer reported the matter, she just mentioned that Sharifah didn't want to bring the baby home with her. In actual fact, Sharifah didn't want to bring the baby home with her YET. Big difference there. Sharifah plans to get herself a job first, and once she's financially stable, she'd get the baby from Kak Ana. But in the report sent, it sounded as though Sharifah had abandoned her baby at a home meant for the disabled.

When the JKM officers went to take the baby from the home, Kak Ana reminded them that once the baby is out of her home, she'd be their responsibility and so they'd better make sure the baby is given her medication right on time every 6 hours. The officers didn't know heads or tails about the medication whatsoever as that was not mentioned in the report they received.

So they took the baby, reported the matter to their boss, and finally their boss called and spoke to Kak Ana who told her the whole story, even asking them to call Sharifah direct to confirm her story. After half an hour, the baby was sent back to Kak Ana. Since Sharifah is around this week, they (Kak Ana and Sharifah) were asked to go to court this Friday so a court order can be obtained by Kak Ana for temporary custody of Cek Mek - until Sharifah is ready to take the baby back with her. Sharifah will visit the baby from time to time, at least once a month.

Right now Sharifah is staying with Kak Ana until her hospital appointment in 2 weeks time. And they (Sharifah and the baby) actually stay at Kak Ana's home, not at the shelter home. The hospital welfare officer can no longer argue that the place is not suitable for the baby.

And for the moment, Sharifah is still looking around for a job. We told her not to be too choosy and just grab whatever suitable job that comes along, doesn't matter if the job is in Ipoh or back at her hometown or at any other nearby towns.

Sharifah did seem more cheerful when I saw her today. Hopefully the future too will be more cheerful for her and her baby.

Will be seeing my little girl!

When I called Sharifah last Saturday to ask her how and when she planned to come to Ipoh (her blood test is on Wednesday), she told me she'd be going to Kak Ana's place (the shelter home) on Monday and stay there until her appointment date. Kak Ana had promised to bring her to Ipoh and after the blood test is done, they'd go to JPN to get little Cek Mek's MyKid. Great, at least she gets to spend more time with her baby. I told her to give me a call once she gets to Ipoh so I can pass her the necessary papers needed to get her blood tests done. The documents were passed to me by SN earlier on.

This morning I called up Kak Ana to enquire what time they'd be coming. Kak Ana knows Ipoh quite well so when I told her where my office was, she immediately knew. They'd be passing this way anyway, so Kak Ana promised to call me once they get here, so I can pass them the necessary.

Kak Ana also agreed that after they get Cek Mek's MyKid - she'd have lunch with me - together with Sharifah and the little girl. Yes, they'd bring little Cek Mek along! My chance to meet up with the little darling after more than a month! Woo hoo! Opah Pi excited already... dah lama tak tengok cucu...

Remember my earlier posting about my little Cek Mek's matter being reported to the state welfare and they were going to take the baby away from the home? Wanna know the hoo hah that took place?

Well, I already know bits and pieces here and there based on what was told to me over the phone. But I'd rather wait and hear the whole story when I meet up with them tomorrow. So more on that after my lunch date, ok?

 

Want me to help, tell me the problem la...

When Puan Nur went to the shelter home last week to fetch Sharifah and Cek Mek, she didn't notify anyone about it - not me, not Kak Ana, not the welfare officer who had called her earlier. She only told me and Kak Ana when she was already on her way there. Puan Nur, thinking that she had troubled me enough since before Cek Mek was born, right to the time when we sent Sharifah and Cek Mek to the shelter home, didn't want to trouble me anymore and decided to make her own arrangements to fetch her daughter and grandchild.

Puan Nur didn't tell me about the welfare officer's earlier phone call either. If she had, at least I would have known about the possibility of Cek Mek's case being reported to the state welfare; and I would have insisted that Kak Ana lets her take both Sharifah and Cek Mek home. The state welfare wouldn't have been called in had Kak Ana allowed Puan Nur to take the baby along.

So much for not wanting to trouble me. Now they're troubling me even more as I now need to deal with another party. But come to think of it, remember in my letter to Cek Mek I mentioned that I learnt a lot from this episode? Well, looks like Allah wants me to learn even more. Surely there is a hikmah behind all these.

After browsing the internet looking for the address and telephone number of the new shelter home, I also looked for any other similiar homes under the welfare department closer to Puan Nur's home. I wanted to be ready with options to suggest to Puan Nur and Sharifah.

I needed to talk to Puan Nur to get more info, especially on their stand. It's rather difficult now that Puan Nur and Sharifah are at one town, baby another town, and myself another town. I did mention in my earlier posting that most of the time I'd rather be a listener than an interrogator. Well, it's interrogation time!

So yesterday evening I called Puan Nur. There was no answer. Maybe she was busy elsewhere and didn't hear the phone ring. I waited, hoping for her to return my call. After about 10 minutes, my phone rang - James Bond ringtone. Yep, it was Puan Nur. But before I could answer, the phone stopped ringing. She's purposely giving me a missed call? I figured she must have ran out of credit... after the calls she had to make earlier in the morning, twice to me and another one to the hospital welfare officer. She couldn't cut those conversations short as there were many things to discuss.

I called back, and the first thing I heard was, "Kak... sorry kak... credit habislah." Yeah, I knew that already...

Puan Nur was on her way back from somewhere, so Sharifah was not with her. I told her I've already got the address and phone number of the new shelter home where the welfare officers are sending the baby, and I intend to call the person in charge of the new home next week, but before that I'd need to know Puan Nur's and Sharifah's stand first. I told her to tell me if they have problems at home and what would be the problem if Cek Mek stays with them. I told her I need a more decisive answer. I told her I truly truly want to help, but they are not making it easy for me with their frequent change of scripts!

Before Cek Mek's birth, they wanted to give the baby away for adoption. Then they saw and touched the baby, they decided to keep her. But since they were not ready to bring her home yet, they thought of leaving her at a shelter home first and take her back later. When I suggested that Sharifah herself should stay with the baby at the shelter home for 2 months at least to bond with the little girl, they agreed. But after seeing how uncomfortable they were at the shelter home, Puan Nur decided to take them both home after just 2 weeks, without consulting anyone. Since Kak Ana wouldn't let her bring Cek Mek home, she brought only Sharifah home. And after a whole week of being separated from her baby, Sharifah began thinking of looking for a job first before taking the baby home. Then after a while, she cried and wanted to go back and stay with the baby at the shelter home. Then changed her mind again when she felt that she couldn't afford to take care of the girl without getting herself a job. If only Kak Ana had let them take the baby home in the first place, the baby would already be home and this fickle-mindedness wouldn't have occurred.

Puan Nur finally admitted to me that they felt they couldn't afford to take care of the baby - not just yet. When she was oh so determined to take care of them both earlier, she was thinking Sharifah would be home to take care of the little girl. Then when Sharifah went home without her baby, Sharifah told her about wanting to work, because Puan Nur doesn't earn much whereas raising a baby would require a lot of money - diapers, milk powder and whatever else. "Ya tak ya jugak," thought Puan Nur... but if Sharifah goes to work, who's going to take care of the baby at home? Sharifah was thinking of sending the girl to a babysitter while she's at work, until Puan Nur reminded her, "Hang nak bayaq dengan apa?" Aduuuuh...

I asked Puan Nur why she didn't tell me her problem earlier. I told her I could only suggest options if I knew what her problem was. I assured her that I really meant to help and I wasn't expecting anything from her in return. After all that I had gone through with my little Cek Mek, I can't help but feel a bit attached to the little girl. I would love it if she stays somewhere near Ipoh so I could see her often. But I cannot think of myself. I love the little girl... so much so that I want her to be loved and cared by her own loving mother!

I have seen how loving Puan Nur and Sharifah are to each other. I love seeing their mother-daughter relationship... the best-of-friends kind of relationship. Oh okay, maybe sometimes they make some silly decisions, but I can vouch that they are loving enough. I'd love to see my little Cek Mek getting the same kind of love.

One thing for sure is that Sharifah does want Cek Mek because that little girl may be the only child she'd ever have. But based on the present situation, maybe it's better if she works first, and then after two or three months, if she earns enough monthly to be able to afford sending Cek Mek to a babysitter, she can take the baby home with her.

When Sharifah was at the shelter home earlier, representatives from a particular company in Ipoh went to visit the home. When they met Sharifah and found out she was thinking of getting a job after leaving the shelter home, one of the officers left her name card, asking Sharifah to call her if she'd like to work with their company. She'd try to find a suitable post for Sharifah.

So far Sharifah had yet to call that lady. For the moment she's looking around for a job at her hometown. She'd prefer to work at her hometown so at least she could stay with her mother and so she doesn't have to worry about renting a house or a room.

I told Puan Nur that if Sharifah has no choice but to work in Ipoh, I would help find a suitable room for her to rent. And if that happens, then might as well let Cek Mek stay at her new shelter home just a little while longer until Sharifah is capable of supporting herself and her child. Sharifah can visit her child during weekends as the place is not that far from Ipoh. In fact, I don't mind volunteering to bring Sharifah there and I'm sure you know why... :)

But if Sharifah finds a job at her hometown, maybe the next best thing to do is to ask for my little Cek Mek to be transferred to a similar shelter home (still under welfare department) nearer to their place. Further from me, but nearer to her mother. The important thing is, Sharifah must must must visit her baby often.

Those were the suggestions I gave to Puan Nur. I asked them to think it over thoroughly and whatever their decision, I'd still help them. At the end of the conversation, I asked Puan Nur to convey my salam to Sharifah and to tell her to be more decisive.

"Tolonglah jangan tukar skrip banyak-banyak kali. Pening kepala otak akak la," I said, to which Puan Nur responded with, "Kaaaak.... sorry kaaaak!!"

Ah well, but you know what? I think there's something else they're not telling me.

Puan Nur and Sharifah only mentioned that Puan Nur's income is not sufficient to cover for the baby's needs. Sharifah's father is still alive, and working. How come his name was never mentioned? Sharifah did mention a bit about her father initially when I first handled her case but later on it's always, "Nanti bincang dengan mak dulu." I remember when I asked Sharifah earlier if her father was furious with her, she said her father did not scold her but he had a fight with Puan Nur instead. "Tapi sat ja, lepaih tu okay dah," so she claimed.The house that they stayed in earlier was together with Sharifah's "Tok", who happens to be her father's mother.

I knew about Puan Nur's plan to move to a new house. But after the move, I somehow no longer hear about Sharifah's father. In fact, when she went to fetch Sharifah last week, I thought she went with her husband, but later I found out she went with a friend, in the friend's car.

And remember during the first week after Cek Mek was born, we had to delay sending Sharifah and Cek Mek to the shelter home as there were some problems in getting her discharged, and Puan Nur had to go home by hook or by crook to settle something? Well, I overheard (honest, I wasn't eavesdropping) her talking to someone on the phone, "Esok aku memang kena balik, pagi Rabu kena pi mahkamah."

I didn't bother to ask lah, it was none of my business.

Hmmm... but putting all the pieces together, don't you think there's something else they're not telling me?

Aduh, this is getting a bit stressful. Thank God I've got this blog to de-stress... so bear with me, okay folks?

Alahai... problem lagi...

Depending on the situation, sometimes I hate it when I'm right. I just mentioned about it in my blog posting last night - that from the tone of her voice, I sensed Puan Nur may be having some problems. I was right. And worse still, the problem had something to do with my little Cek Mek. Aaargh!!

Remember my letter to Cek Mek? Well, when I wrote that letter to Cek Mek, Puan Nur was on her way to fetch both Cek Mek and her mom from the shelter home. I had thought they were all back at their home state by now.

Apparently, due to the short notice, Kak Ana, the lady in charge at the shelter home did not allow Puan Nur to take the baby back with her. According to Kak Ana, Cek Mek's appointment is coming up in August, so she asked that they only take the baby after that appointment so that she could arrange for the transfer of the baby's appointments to Sharifah's hometown. Kak Ana was quite adamant and Puan Nur didn't want to argue further, so yes, she took Sharifah home and left the baby there, with the plan of coming back to fetch the little girl later.

Actually getting the referral letter to transfer the girl to another hospital is a small matter. It can be done later. But I didn't follow them when they went to fetch Sharifah and Cek Mek, and so I couldn't argue on their behalf...

Anyway, early this morning Puan Nur called me. The welfare officer at the hospital of the town where Cek Mek's present shelter home is called her yesterday. Probably after thinking about it overnight and not knowing what else to do, Puan Nur finally called me this morning to tell me of her problem.

You see, the welfare officer is of the opinion that the shelter home is not conducive for the baby's upbringing. The home apparently had only been officially registered for disabled people, not for abandoned or homeless children or the likes. This same officer had spoken to Puan Nur before, and Puan Nur told her she'd fetch them on the 4th (that's tomorrow). But Puan Nur instead went to fetch them last week without notifying anyone - and ended up only taking home Sharifah, due to Kak Ana's insistence that my Cek Mek should stay on a little longer until the appointment date.

Since Puan Nur had told the welfare officer earlier that she'd be fetching Sharifah and her baby on the 4th, yesterday, the officer called Puan Nur just to confirm that she'd be coming tomorrow. She was surprised when Puan Nur related to her the whole story of what happened the week before. Realising that the baby is now at the shelter home without her mother around, and doing what she felt was the right thing to do, to save the baby from a home not conducive to the little girl, the officer reported the matter to state welfare department. Now the case is under the state welfare. Adoiii...

I asked Puan Nur to give me the officer's number so I could speak to her direct. And I gave the officer 10 minutes after office hours began to settle down before I called her. Thank goodness the officer was at her table when I called. When I introduced myself as Afizah from Buddies of Ipoh, she went, "Aha... ya!" Oh dear, don't tell me my name already known there too???

Well, at least I didn't have to make too long an introduction. The officer actually thanked me for calling. Apparently my name was included in the report she submitted to the welfare department although she didn't know my full name. No, nothing bad lah. She had to report Sharifah's and Cek Mek's history from the beginning and I was included as the person from the "badan sukarela yang bekerjasama dengan hospital Ipoh" when Cek Mek was first born. The officer knew pretty well we are a registered organisation dealing specifically with HIV cases. I even gave her my full name and hand phone number in case she or the state welfare needed to contact me. At least now I get more contacts in the right departments.

Anyway, the officer explained to me that the case is no longer under her jurisdiction now that the case had been reported to the state welfare. What will happen now is that the baby will be placed under a new "pelindung" which is a home under JKM specifically for children. Most likely JKM officers will go and get Cek Mek from the present shelter home by today and place her at the new home. From now on Sharifah and Puan Nur will have to deal direct with the new shelter home.

After listening to the officer, I think it's probably best for the welfare officers to get the baby from the present home and send her to the new home. At least Kak Ana cannot refuse because the officers will come with an official letter. And given that Puan Nur did want to take the baby earlier, only to be refused by Kak Ana, they cannot accuse Puan Nur and Sharifah of purposely abandoning the baby.

I asked the officer to inform me once it's confirmed that the welfare people had taken the baby from the present home. She promised me she would.

Only problem is, due to the temporary separation, Sharifah has become somewhat flip flop in her decision. First she thought of leaving the baby for a few more months while she gets herself a job... then she cries and wants to stay with the baby at the new shelter home. Alahai sayang oi... the new shelter home is only for budaklah, not mak budak...

Whatever it is, once the baby has been brought to the new shelter home, I will need to bring Puan Nur and Sharifah there to meet up and discuss the matter further with the new "pelindung".

My poor little Cek Mek. She's exactly one month old today and yet she already has to go through so many hurdles in her life.

Alahai Cek Mek... Opah Pi pun dah pening dah... tak jadi kerja kat opis hari ni...

Never mind, cheer up okay? Just imagine Datuk M.Daud Kilau now gelek-ing in front of you singing the song...

"Senyumlah... senyumlah... ahai Cek Mek Molek!"

Heading for home...

I am so happy today. Happy but sayu at the same time. Remember I mentioned in my previous posting my calls to Puan Nur couldn't get through? Apparently her phone went kaput. She got herself another phone now but since all numbers were stored in her old phone instead of the SIM card, she had a hard time trying to look for the phone numbers of her acquaintances, including mine.

Well, she called me this morning. And guess what? She was already on her way to fetch Sharifah and my little Cek Mek from the shelter home. She had initially planned to go next week but since her hubby can only take time off this week, they decided to go today instead so at least they have a car to bring Cek Mek home. So yes, my little Cek Mek is finally heading home today. The little girl's hospital appointment has not been transferred yet due to the last minute decision, but Puan Nur promised me she'd bring Cek Mek back for her next appointment (which is next month I think) and ask for the referral letter then. I will personally make sure Puan Nur keeps her promise. No matter what happens the little girl's health is to be given priority.

Since I'm not seeing the little girl before she heads for home, here's an open letter from me to my little Cek Mek...

_________________________________________________

My dear little Cek Mek,

I am so glad you are finally heading for home. Not my home. Not temporary home. Not shelter home. But your own HOME SWEET HOME... with your own family - your young mom, your young grandparents, and not forgetting your young aunts and uncles.

Ever since you came into this world (in a very dramatic manner I must add!) I have been blogging about you a lot, I hope you don't mind. Frankly when I first blogged about your mom, I never thought your birth would somehow leave a rather big impact on me. I thought it would just be another case - like the other cases I've handled before.

Yes, I have dealt with quite a number of babies born to HIV positive mothers. Why was it that you my little Cek Mek dear, got more of my attention?

Were you cuter than the rest of the babies? Naaah... jangan perasanlah, I doubt it. To me all newborn babies are cute. It's when they grow up a little and start throwing tantrums that I start classifying them as cute, cuter, cutest or not cute at all. Hehehe...

The main reason must have been the uncertainty you had to face. Even before you were born, your mom had nobody but me to depend on here in Ipoh. For the other cases, the women at least had homes to go to. They had family members taking care of them. And even though there was another case of out-of-wedlock pregnancy I had to deal with before, her case was handed over to a shelter home in KL before she gave birth. So I didn't have to face any of the delivery kelam-kabutness. Besides, for all the other cases I've handled so far, they all delivered on the scheduled dates. And I didn't have to be the one sending them to the hospital.

Oh yes, that must be another reason you touched my life more than the other babies. Never in my life did I ever have to send someone to the hospital at 3 am to deliver a baby! No doubt I didn't wait at the waiting area like the fathers and suku-sakat kaum-kerabat of the other babies, but still, you, my little Cek Mek, were so impatient to see the world, you made me create a record of my own. That was a first for me.

Then when I found out that your mom gave birth to you thru normal delivery, I got worried. All the other babies I dealt with before were caesarian deliveries, and so my confidence level (about them being safe from HIV) was rather high. Your case was the first normal delivery case I had to deal with. Another first for me. I did consult an expert on this and was told not to worry as your mom was on ARV medication during pregnancy and so the chances of you getting infected were still reduced somehow.

Then came the uncertainties of your future. Were you to be given away for adoption? Were you to be sent to a welfare home? Were you to remain under the care of your own mother? That was only finally decided when your mom and younger-than-me grandma got to see and touch you. Ahh... you were too adorable to be given away... so they decided that you were to stay at a shelter home temporarily while your mom would go home with your grandma. Their plan was to come and get you from the shelter home later after a few months. I objected to that (such a busybody, wasn't I?). I told them that your mom should join you at the shelter home for at least 2 months so that the 2 of you could bond - otherwise you may not want to follow them when the time comes. Actually I suggested that because quietly I was hoping that by the time your mom has to leave the shelter home, she'd be too attached to you she wouldn't have the heart to leave you behind for too long.

So, the decision was made... your mom and grandma agreed to my suggestion. There shouldn't be any more problems, right? Wrong! Due to your mom's status as an unwed 19 year old HIV positive mother, the case was referred to the hospital's social/welfare unit and so your mom and grandma had problems getting you discharged from the hospital. I had to bring them to meet the officer in charge to settle the problem. I never had to do that before. Another first for me - all because of you, my little Cek Mek dear.

By then you were 7 days old but your mother had yet to register for your birth cert. Your grandma was around by then, but she was not familiar with Ipoh and she too never had to do the registration for all her children - she had your grandpa to do all that. So I went with your grandma to the JPN to register for your birth cert. And yeah, you got that right... another first for me!

The problems we encountered caused some delays in sending you and your mom to a shelter home, and since your grandma had to go back to settle some things at home first, for a few days, you had to stay alone with your mom at an unfamiliar territory. While waiting for your grandma to come back to Ipoh, I had to check on you every day during those days. That was when you little rascal managed to steal my heart!

Then we sent both you and your mom to a shelter home. And for the first time too, the shelter home I sent you to was not specifically for HIV cases. It felt rather odd really, leaving you at a place where the other occupants were not in the same category as you and your mom. Both your grandma and myself felt sad when we left you and your mom there.

But the sadness became joy when in less than a week, your grandma told me she finally decided to bring you and your mom home earlier than originally planned. It was a good thing you and your mom didn't look too comfortable there. It made your grandma think again. I was so happy! She had not decided on the date yet but at least she was already making the necessary arrangements. Yes, I knew that would mean I'd be seeing less (maybe even last) of you, but the fact that you were finally going HOME in its true sense made me feel much much better. To me, the sooner you head home, the better.

Well, this morning your grandma called me and surprised me when she told me she was already on her way to fetch you and your mom. The best news I've heard all week!

Truth be told my dear, I was kinda hoping I'd be able to see you one last time before you head for home. But never mind, it doesn't matter what I want. The important thing is what you need - and what you need is a place you can truly call home. So go! Go on home!

My little Cek Mek dear,

I hope you don't get me wrong with my long letter recalling all the tense and blood pressure rising moments I had to endure because of you. I am not complaining - not at all! I thank Allah for choosing ME to provide those little services to you. I enjoyed and appreciate every little moment I got to spend with you. I definitely learnt a whole lot from this episode, and for that I really have to thank you, my little dear.

I may not be seeing you again (although I do hope I will), but I definitely will keep in touch with your mom and grandma to get updates from time to time about your progress, at least until I can be very sure of your HIV status. And I want you to know, no matter what the outcome is, we all still love you no less. You're very lucky my dear, that you have a very open minded grandma.

For now my little Cek Mek dear, my prayer for you is so that you will lead a normal, healthy and happy life full of love. May Allah protect and bless you always.

With loads and loads of love, cuddles and kisses,

Opah Pi

p/s

I am sure some of my blog readers would want to cuddle and kiss you too, if only they could.

A little update on my little Cek Mek

Yesterday I met my friend who frequents the flat where we temporarily placed Sharifah recently. (He didn't frequent the place when Sharifah was using the place lah - otherwise sure dah kepoh satu flat!). He went over to the flat a few days ago and bumped into one of the neighbours...

Neighbour: "Mana budak perempuan yang beranak kecik hari tu?"

My friend: "Dah balik kampung dia lah."

Neighbour: "Baik betul baby tu. Suami budak perempuan tu mana? Kerja apa?

My friend: "Suaminya askar."

End of story.

Soldiers get posted to various places from time to time, so that was the first thing that came to my friend's mind to avoid further interrogation from the neighbour. Good move, I must say... although he did lie... white lie ka, yellow lie ka, purple lie ka, doesn't matter lah!

But you know what that meant? That meant despite the precautions we took to avoid exposing my little Cek Mek to the people outside, the neighbours did notice. The baby was only exposed twice. The first time was when they were just discharged from the hospital and I needed to bring them there first before sending them over to the present shelter home a few days later. There were quite a number of children playing around then but I didn't see any adults outside. The second time she was exposed was when we needed to bring her into my car to send Sharifah and my little Cek Mek to the shelter home. Again, I didn't see any adults around, just a few kids. This particular makcik who was asking my friend all those questions about Sharifah must have been peeping from the windows...

Well, since my friend brought up the story of my little Cek Mek, timbul rindu pulak kat si kecik tu. I tried calling Puan Nur to ask if she had already fixed a day to fetch her daughter and grandchild, but my calls didn't seem to get through. Oh dear, don't tell me she changed her number yet again...

So I decided to call Kak Ana, the lady running the shelter home. I wanted to know the latest progress on my little Cek Mek's checkups at the hospital. Kak Ana was in the car, together with Sharifah, and they were on their way back from another round of body massage for Sharifah.

According to Kak Ana, they just brought my little Cek Mek to the hospital earlier in the morning. The people at the hospital needed to take the little girl's blood sample for testing.

Imagine how I cringed when Kak Ana mentioned that the little baby's blood didn't seem to flow out... so they had to make a few attempts to get her blood samples. Adoiii... the little girl is just slightly over 3 weeks old.

Oh my poor little Cek Mek!!

p/s

Btw, this is my 333rd blog posting...

Back to normal routine

Back to normal routine this week. And that doesn't mean I can relax a bit more - it only means I have more things to cover in my voluntary work instead of concentrating on just one particular case as it had been for the past 2 weeks.

That doesn't mean I no longer have to think about Sharifah and my little Cek Mek either. As a matter of fact, first thing this morning, as I was getting ready to go to my office, a call came in from SN. She wanted to inform me of Sharifah's appointment at the HIV clinic. I had informed her earlier that if the appointment is in August, then there's no need to transfer her appointment to the other hospital as Sharifah plans to leave the shelter home by then.

Indeed, SN did fix Sharifah's appointment in August; but when she mentioned 12th August, I was thinking, alamak... I won't be around then (I should be in Bali that week). I asked SN if she could change it to 5th August, so at least if Sharifah needed my help, I'd be around. Thank goodness SN didn't have any problem with that.

Later when I got to the office, I called Sharifah. When I asked how she was doing and if she had adapted herself to the new place, she just said, "OK lah kak, mula tu payah jugak. La ni buleh lah sikit kot..." Didn't sound too convincing though. And of course I asked about my little Cek Mek. The little girl is doing okay, but according to Sharifah, has some problems sleeping at night as some of the occupants can be rather noisy. You see, this shelter home takes in various types of people - the homeless, the elderly, the mentally disabled (hmmm... I think many of our politicians qualify under this third category... but I guess no shelter homes want to take them). So, it's not easy for Kak Ana to control them all.

Anyway, Kak Ana had brought Sharifah for a massage on Sunday. Aiyah, she should have told me earlier lah, I think I need a good body massage myself (ish, Kak Ana bawak budak tu gi urut lepas bersalin - I pulak sibuk nak urut lepas salin baju!!). When I called this morning, Kak Ana wasn't around. She's a rather busy woman. So, Sharifah has yet to bring my little Cek Mek to the hospital. She should be doing so within this week. I told Sharifah about her next appointment in Ipoh.

Today, I also managed to disburse all the monthly sponsorship amount to the rightful recipients. I also finally managed to get back to those who had committed to contribute to Sofie's family. We now have people willing to give monthly contributions to Sofie and her children. Some of the contributions are already in my bank account. I called Sofie to inform her about it and promised her I'd visit this week. Tak berani simpan duit orang lama-lama...

Later at about 5 pm, a fellow volunteer, our Fellowship coordinator, called. He's the one who's supposed to do all the planning for our coming Family Day in August. Today he had called the manager of the place that we intend to visit for our Family Day, trying to arrange for a day when one or two of us could drop by and check out the place so we can have a better picture of what kind of activities we can organise for the day. But although the management of the place has agreed to let us use their place for our Family Day on a Sunday (the place is not open to the public actually), if we need to check out the place before hand, we'd need to do it on a weekday - a working day. That leaves only those with flexi working hours. In other words, orang tua ni juga lah kena pergi... sigh!

But never mind, for the sake of organising a fun day out for the poor families and their children (and not forgetting, this orang tua also want to have fun!), I will try to go either on Wednesday or Thursday with another orang tua volunteer with flexi hour.

Later, I called Puan Nur, Sharifah's mom. The family's busy moving to a new house. I asked if she had already missed her daughter and grandchild. Puan Nur and Sharifah actually call each other every day! And guess what? My strategy seems to work much faster than I thought! Puan Nur is already planning to bring Sharifah home, and Sharifah is already not willing to leave her baby at the shelter home - so yeah, we may have both Sharifah and my little Cek Mek going HOME sooner than planned!

You know, I felt a bit "down" after sending my little Cek Mek to the shelter home last week. I had mixed feelings - I was so so sad for the girl... I missed the girl... I was wondering if my plan would actually work out. But after listening to Puan Nur's plan today, I feel much better already! Not that I'd be able to see my little Cek Mek more often, but at least I know she will be at a proper home with a proper family environment.

I think I can sleep better tonight...

My little Cek Mek's new home...

Friday 12th June 2009 - The big day.

I had promised Puan Nur and Sharifah I'd fetch them from the flats at 9 am. 5 minutes before 9 am, I was already there. The moment Puan Nur opened the door, I saw all their bags were ready near the door, and my little Cek Mek sleeping soundly on the settee. Sharifah was ready, only Puan Nur was just about to put on her tudung.

Not wanting to expose the baby outside for too long, for fear of having some kaypohs around asking all sorts of questions, I carried all the bags and arranged them in my car first. Only when everything else was ready, we got out, with Puan Nur holding the baby in her arms, I locked the door and we immediately headed towards my car. No looking left or right. Just move...

First stop was the hypermarket - I wanted to buy supplies for the baby before we send her to her new temporary home. Sharifah waited in the car with her baby; and while I got hold of the diapers, baby's toiletries, rashes cream etc, Puan Nur went to buy toiletries for Sharifah. After paying, I suddenly remembered to ask Puan Nur if they had their breakfast. Laaa... belum rupanya...

Stuff like nasi lemak and roti canai would be difficult to eat in the car, so Puan Nur just ended up buying bread and hot drinks.

The baby slept like a baby (of course la, she IS a baby!) the whole journey. Once or twice when I looked back, even Sharifah slept too. And after a while, even Puan Nur herself was already nodding her head...

After about 1 hour 20 minutes, we reached the town. I called up Kak Ana, the lady in charge of the home to ask for directions. The place was just off the main road, so it wasn't that difficult to find.

The gates were locked, but since Kak Ana was already expecting us, the moment she saw a car stopping in front, she asked one of her staff to open the gates. Before I even managed to drive in, Sharifah was already saying, "Takutlah mak..." Probably the butterflies in her stomach were already flying around like mad...

The place was a bit messy - in the sense that space was rather limited and they were doing some extension works outside the house. According to Kak Ana, the place under extension is supposed to be their new dining hall. At the old place where Kak Ana operated from before, they had more space, so they could even afford to have one sewing room and one physio room. Too bad, the landlord wanted the land back.

Anyway, we (Puan Nur, Sharifah and I) had a good long chat with Kak Ana. Another little girl, about 1 1/2 years old, was so excited when she saw a baby with us. She was smiling and smiling (such a sweet smile too) and even held out her arms, wanting to hold the baby. Before this, she was the youngest occupant of the home - now she has an adik! Oh btw, the occupants of the home call Kak Ana, Mama.

Meanwhile, Sharifah looked real nervous. I told her there was nothing to worry about... at the most Kak Ana... errr... Mama... would only scold her if she does something wrong. But of course, Kak Ana treats them all like her own children, so if they do something wrong, they'd still get the same kind of scolding her own children used to get.

After the chat, and after I noticed that they had already served lunch for the occupants of the home, I signalled to Puan Nur that we'd better make a move. It was then that Kak Ana showed us Sharifah's room - she's sharing the room downstairs with one of Kak Ana's assistants.

Before we left, I went in to give a little peck on the cheeks of my little Cek Mek. Then I gave a hug to Sharifah who was already on the verge of crying. And by the time we got out of the house, when Puan Nur herself gave Sharifah a hug, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Kak Ana just said, "Hujan tak pa... jangan tsunami sudah..."

Puan Nur managed to hold back her own tears.

As we drove off, I knew Puan Nur herself felt somewhat guilty about leaving Sharifah and the baby there. But she just needed some time to adjust some things back home before she can bring them home, to be together with the rest of the family. Sharifah should be out of the shelter home in about 2 months time, while the baby will stay there a little bit longer to give time to Sharifah herself to adjust at home. But I made Sharifah promise to visit her baby frequently during that adjustment period.

But looking at how things were just now, I bet Puan Nur herself will be calling me in less than 2 months asking if I could accompany her to visit her child and grandchild. I told her to just call me in advance if she wants to visit so I can make plans. I want to visit my little Cek Mek too!

After sending off Puan Nur to the bus station in Ipoh and making sure she got a ticket to go home, I myself headed home straight away. After my prayer, as I sat back to relax, suddenly I realised... I miss my little Cek Mek already!!!

My little Cek Mek...

When I went to see SN (the staff nurse at the HIV clinic) the other day to arrange for Sharifah's next appointment to be done at the hospital nearer to where she'd be staying, SN told me about meeting up with Aida earlier during the HIV clinic. Remember Aida? She was the one who had earlier agreed to adopt Sharifah's baby before Sharifah and Puan Nur decided not to give away the baby.

Apparently a friend of Aida's who knew about Aida wanting to adopt a baby born to an unwed mother on such and such a day, the friend, who happened to know one of the nurses at the labour room, told her nurse friend about it. And guess what? The nurse told this friend (Aida's friend) to better tell her friend (that's Aida) not to adopt the baby as the baby has HIV because she was born to an HIV positive mother! Kurang asam punya nurse! When this friend told Aida about it, Aida just pretended to be surprised.

SN got so mad she asked for the name of the nurse. "Kalau aku jumpa dia, aku sembur habis-habis! Maklumat sulit pesakit mana boleh bagitau kat orang?"

Yeah, I wouldn't mind giving the nurse a piece of my mind too!

In a way, it was a blessing that Sharifah decided not to give the baby to Aida. Imagine, even before Aida brought the baby home, the news had spread that the child was born to an HIV positive mother. In fact, the news was that the baby was positive... when in actual fact, we don't know her HIV status yet.

Anyway, today I went to visit Sharifah and her baby (my little Cek Mek) again. When I got there, I saw 2 pairs of shoes outside the door. At first I thought maybe Sharifah's friends from the college where she used to study, came to visit. But as I got nearer, a nurse came out. She smiled at me, I smiled at her... then suddenly when she saw me grabbing the door knob to open the door, she asked, "Eh, nak jumpa siapa?"

I just pointed my finger inside and said, "Nak jenguk dia lah."

"Ni ke Puan Afizah?" she asked. Amboi, naik famous pulak Puan Afizah ni orang dok sebut dalam seminggu ni...

There was another nurse inside the house. They were actually from the klinik kesihatan who does home visits when there are newborn babies around. They got the report from the earlier klinik kesihatan that Sharifah went to, and since the flat where Sharifah is temporarily staying for these few days is within the jurisdiction of another klinik kesihatan, the nurses from this other klinik kesihatan came over to check on the baby.

Knowing Sharifah's status as an unwed mother, naturally they interviewed her with questions like who'll take care of the baby, where will she be staying, who's helping her out etc. Same questions Sharifah had to answer to so many people already - and Sharifah told all of them that a certain Kak Afizah from Buddies had been helping her out. She thought they would have heard of the Buddies. They instead responded with, "Buddies? Tak pernah dengar pun..." Yep, that's how low profile we are!

I managed to have a chat with the 2 nurses. It was to be their first and last visit to check on Sharifah's baby as tomorrow Sharifah and her baby would be going to the temporary shelter home. That's under the jurisdiction of another klinik kesihatan. The 2 nurses were interested to know more about the voluntary work that we Buddies do. They never knew such an NGO existed. They didn't ask Sharifah too many questions the moment they saw the person who was supposed to be looking after the welfare of Sharifah and her baby. Probably before this they were thinking "Entah siapalah Afizah ni... boleh harap ke tidak?"

Their main concern of course was that Sharifah may have just made up the story that her own mother was coming over. For all I know they may even have been worried that this lady who had been helping Sharifah may have other plans up her sleeves (like wanting to sell Sharifah to Thailand and then sell the baby to interested parties maybe??!)

I guess I don't look like an ibu ayam to them... they ended up thanking me when they were about to leave...

Our Cek Mek Molek was awake then, so again I took the opportunity to hold the little darling in my arms. I even talked to my little Cek Mek. She didn't say anything of course, but I bet she must have wondered apalah orang tua ni dok merepek...

One final night for Sharifah and Cek Mek at the flat. At least tonight Puan Nur is around to spend the night with them. Tomorrow we (Puan Nur and I) will be sending them over to the temporary shelter home.