Accompanying Sofie…

When I sent Sofie home after she was discharged from the hospital at the end of January, I told her I’d come fetch her at home to bring her for her appointment at the ID clinic on 10th Feb. Looking at her condition then, I simply didn’t have the heart to let her go to the hospital by bus, even if accompanied by an adult.

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go out to fetch Sofie, I received calls from unfamiliar numbers. After my bath, I noticed 3 missed calls – all from different numbers but almost similar… the different number was just the last digit. I figured the calls must have come from a government department or agency, but wasn’t quite sure which exactly. If I were to call back, who would I say I wanted to speak to? So I thought I might as well just let whoever it was to call me back if it was important.

Then when I was already driving, my phone rang again. When I answered, I was going “hello! hello!” a few times, yet couldn’t hear anyone at the other end. After the 3rd time, and the same thing happened, I decided to call back the last number. It was actually a district hospital.

“Tadi ada siapa2 call saya ke?”

“Ni nombor xxx-xxxxxxx ke? Puan Afizah ke?”

“Ya, saya.”

“Sekejap ya, ni panggilan dari Hospital ________. Ada orang nak bercakap, nanti saya passkan line.”

The person who wanted to talk to me was one of the nurses whom I met during my clinic duty on Wednesday. The ones who  accompanied Hamidah to the hospital. Well, knowing that I may be visiting Hamidah at the hospital and/or her children at home, the nurse felt it was important to notify me as soon as possible about Hamidah’s death. Yes, Hamidah passed away the same night after she came back from the hospital appointment in Ipoh ID clinic. I never had the chance to do any follow-up. I thanked the nurse for having the courtesy to inform me. It wasn’t her duty to inform me but she did anyway, and I appreciate that very much.

Anyway, yesterday I used my GPS to go to Sofie’s house as she had moved to another house. Although she wasn’t well enough, her sister couldn’t take it any longer being charged outrageous amounts by the landlord for water (refer my earlier posting on 1st Feb). So they moved immediately after the CNY holidays. Sofie’s sister arranged for everything. The present house is bigger and nearer to Ipoh. The previous house had only 2 rooms and 1 bathroom. The present house has 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms. The rental? Same for both houses. So Sofie and her sister certainly got a better deal at the present house. More importantly the house has its own individual water meter (unlike the old house) so whatever amount they have to pay for water will be for whatever they use.

Sofie, Saiful and Ika were having their breakfast when I got to their house. The 2 older boys were at school. Ika’s & Saiful’s school session is in the afternoon. But Sofie was not comfortable leaving them home by themselves while waiting for their bus to fetch them, so yes, the 2 kids got to skip school again. There was no way we’d be able to come back on time to enable them to go to school. Sofie looked a lot better than when I last sent her home. Still visibly weak but at least she didn’t need a wheelchair.

At the hospital, I dropped them off first before going round to look for a parking space. There was none the first round… not even my usual place which is quite a walking distance from the specialist clinic. I then came in another round, and this time somebody just got out of a parking lot very near the specialist clinic. My luck! :-)

There weren’t many follow-up cases at the HIV clinic, only 8, but each one’s turn took quite some time as the specialist there really looked into details. By the time Sofie’s turn came, it was already around 12 noon. I went in as well to find out Sofie’s status. The doctor took some time looking at Sofie’s file and analysing all her previous test results. She was quite upset to note that none of the medication given to Sofie had any effects on Sofie. Viral load is still very high and CD4 is still very low.

Sofie started on her first line of HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy) in 2009. That was probably the best line for her, but she blew it because of her own non-compliance. Not that she didn’t take her medication at all, but she didn’t follow the time. Despite being told that she must take her medication on time, she’d usually take them when convenient for her. So the first line of HAART didn’t work out. During this time, the specialist was on sabbatical leave and so her case was just referred to MOs who let her continue with the medication despite tests showing unfavourable results. “If I was around then I would stopped her medication long ago! What a waste!” she said. You see, once they aren’t compliant, the medication will not work on them and they will have to change to another line of medication.

So a few months ago, Sofie started off with another line of medication. This time Sofie made sure she took her medication regularly and on time. But alas, the second line is simply not suitable for her. She vomitted every time she ate and her internal organs were affected as well. The doctor stopped the medication as well and she was hospitalised.

This time, after looking through all the previous records, the doctor was upset. Upset with the fact that Sofie had not been compliant when taking the first line of medication. “Saya bukan tak mau tolong you tapi saya sendiri susah mau tolong kalau you tak mau tolong diri you sendiri,” she said to Sofie. I can understand the doctor’s frustration. She doesn’t have much choice left for Sofie’s next line of medication. She wanted to make sure that Sofie will not blow it this time around.

Noticing that Sofie’s left eye seemed reddish and a bit swollen, the doctor worried that it could have been caused by infection. So the doctor prepared a referral letter for Sofie to see the ophtalmologist downstairs. She also wanted to see Sofie’s latest test results so Sofie was also sent to do some blood and urine tests. Sofie will have to come for another appointment next week. Then the doctor will decide if it was the right time to start Sofie with her next line of HAART.

By the time we were done talking to the doctor and the nurse, it was already after 1 pm. We went down for Sofie’s blood and urine tests as it was open during lunch hour. To see the ophtalmologist we’d have to wait until the clinic reopens at 2 pm. So I brought them to the hospital cafeteria first for lunch. By 2 pm, we went straight to the eye clinic, showed the referral letter, Sofie had to go through a few tests before she was given a piece of paper and asked to get a number for her turn to see the ophtalmologist. Judging from the number of people at the clinic, it would take some time before Sofie’s turn came. Well, at least she managed to see the ophtalmologist on the same day instead of being given another date for her appointment.

Since it was already after 2pm, I told Sofie I’d go off first and come back later. I actually decided to go home for my zohor prayer first. My house isn’t that far from the hospital so it didn’t take long to reach my house. After my prayer, off I went to the hospital again. Went straight to the eye clinic but couldn’t see Sofie, Ika or Saiful. I tried to call but my calls simply couldn’t get through. The phone reception at the eye clinic was very bad.

After a few times going in and out of the eye clinic, I finally saw the 3 of them. They just came out from one of the rooms and were told to wait for their card. Thank God, according to the ophtalmologist the red eye was not due to infection. We were then given the medicine slip and a card for Sofie to go to the counter to get a date for her next appointment. There was a queue there, so I told her to settle her appointment while I went over to the pharmacy to get her medicine.

There was quite a long queue to get a number at the pharmacy, but once I got the number, I didn’t have to wait too long. By the time I got Sofie’s medication, I went back to the eye clinic and Sofie was not done yet although her queue was shorter. It was already her turn though so we didn’t have to wait much longer.

But I sure do pity Sofie. She will have to come for her appointment at the ID clinic on the 17th, then at the eye clinic on the 21st. Then on the 23rd, she will have to bring Saiful to the eye clinic for his appointment. Sofie tried to ask for her appointment to be changed to 23rd so she could come with Saiful on the same day, but the nurse told her that she’s supposed to come within 10 days which is supposed to be 20th, but since 20th is on a Sunday, they gave her the next day’s appointment. So nope, no changes.

I jokingly told them to set up a tent at the hospital compounds so they didn’t need to travel too often to the hospital.

I won’t be around next week so Sofie will have to come to the hospital on her own. I will check on her after I come back.

Follow up visit…

By the time I sent Sofie back home after being discharged from the hospital yesterday, it was already 7.30 pm, so I didn’t stay long. I needed to rush for my Maghrib prayer so after leaving all her medication, I left.

Actually when I went to the pharmacy to get Sofie’s medication, I only managed to get 6 out of the 7 listed in the slip. I was told I’d need to come back again today to get the other one. But even the 6 was already A LOT!

“Yang ni makan sebiji sekali, dua kali sehari lepas makan. Yang ni sekali sehari. Yang ni satu pagi satu malam. Yang ni satu pagi 2 malam. Yang ni 4 kali sehari, tiap-tiap 6 jam kena makan.”

Aiyo… kenyang makan ubat lah like this…

Anyway, yesterday the letter handed to me for Sofie’s next appointment did not indicate the date of the appointment at the ID clinic as by the time Sofie was discharged, it was already after 5 pm. The clinic was closed so they couldn’t call to confirm the date. The nurse at the counter told me she’d call and inform me of the date later. When I said I go to the ID clinic quite often, she said then maybe it would be easier for me to call them direct to get the date.

This morning I decided to settle whatever outstanding matters. After first going to my old office to sign some documents, I headed straight to the hospital. My plan was to go to the ID clinic first to see SN or her assistant, and then down to the pharmacy to get the other medication Sofie was supposed to get.

When I got to the room, SN was going through all the files. She needed to prepare a report of some sort to be submitted to KL. As always, whenever she sees me coming not on a clinic day, she’d invite me to sit down and we’d have a chat, discussing about the various clients – who have not been coming for appointments… who have not been compliant with their HAART…

We share whatever info we have on the clients to enable us to do a better job. If the clients missing their appointments are mine, then I’d try to contact the client to find out why they have missed their appointments. If there are clients whom I’ve not been able to contact, then I’d ask SN if they are still going for their appointments. If they are, then I’d get the date of their next appointment so I can meet the clients when they come to the clinic.

After spending about 40 minutes at the ID clinic and after noting down the date of Sofie’s appointment next week, I told SN I’d need to go down to the pharmacy to get one more medication for Sofie. When SN saw the slip, she said she had some in her cabinet, so yes, I didn’t have to go down to the pharmacy. Yayy!

So this afternoon I went over to Sofie’s house again. I didn’t call to tell them before hand I was coming but I figured Sofie was too weak to go anywhere anyway.

Only Sofie and Ika were in. It’s school holidays for all 4 kids but the 3 brothers weren’t home. Azlan, the eldest, had gone to make some money by working part time during holidays with a contractor to build a house. Azman and Saiful were at a supermarket to buy some things. Saiful got some amount of money during his stay at the hospital with his mother. He got himself quite a number of abang angkat and kakak angkat who took pity on him having to wait for his mother at the hospital for more than 2 weeks, and they all gave him some amount of money. Being the friendly and talkative type (and small-sized to add, so an added “cute” factor), one of the kakak angkat even told him that even if anyone kidnaps him, they’d probably let him go because he tends to ask so many questions… :)

Anyway, Sofie was lying on her mattress in her bedroom. I went straight in as I didn’t want her to get up. Ika got worried when she saw me walk straight into the room. “Alamak, bilik sepah,” she said. I wasn’t bothered at all though, and Sofie was too weak to get up to be bothered by the condition of her room.

Sofie still looked very weak. Apparently earlier in the morning, she needed to go to the toilet but didn’t want to wake her children, so she got up on her own and ended up falling in the kitchen. The kids then woke up after they heard her shouting in pain. Looking at her condition today, I told her not to take the bus when she goes for her appointment next week. I promised to fetch her at home and bring her to the hospital.

Sofie also told me that they may move to another house soon. During Sofie’s 2 weeks stay in the hospital, her sister had been looking around for another house to rent. What they couldn’t stand was the ridiculous water bills they had been forced to pay by the landlord. You see, at present they’re renting a unit from a row of houses belonging to the same landlord. Each unit comes with individual electricity meters, so each pay for their own electricity bill. However, all the row of houses share the same water meter and so the water bill is divided amongst the tenants. Each month the landlord would just issue them some sort of a bill indicating their fixed rental amount and the amount they’d need to pay for water usage. And for the latest bill, they were told to pay RM100 for water.

It is not surprising that the water bill is high because at the moment the landlord is still building more units of houses to be rented out. But to charge out the bill equally amongst the tenants is totally unfair as the usage has been mainly to build the new units – not by the tenants!

According to Sofie, her sister has found a suitable house nearer to Ipoh, with an extra room but at the same rental rate with the present house. In addition, it is nearer to the bus stop and a pasar malam. In terms of facilities, it is definitely better. And more importantly, whatever utility bills they have to pay will be whatever they themselves use.

Sofie’s sister had just been waiting for Sofie to get better to show her the house. They may move to the new place after CNY.

I told Sofie to inform me if and when they move to the new house, especially if they intend to move before her appointment next week.

Visiting the children

It has been more than 2 weeks since Sofie was warded at Ipoh GH. I have visited her thrice at the hospital, and every time I did, I met Saiful as well since he’s the one who stays by his mother’s bedside at the hospital.

So what has been happening to Sofie’s other children? I knew Sofie’s sister (the reliable one who moved from up north to stay with Sofie, not the earlier sister who told the whole neighbourhood about Sofie’s HIV) stays with the children, but she has to go to work. What about the children’s schooling arrangements.

Today I decided to visit the children. It’s the end of the month anyway, I might as well send them some groceries as well.

So this morning when I went to the center to interview a new volunteer, I took the box of whatever groceries left (donated earlier this month). Then after zohor, I headed to a grocery shop to top-up the groceries with whatever other stuff needed, using donations I get from friends on monthly basis for the poor families under my care. I just added a few more items… totalling slightly over RM70. Even the taukeh at the grocery shop commented, “Barang sekarang sikit saja pun sudah lebih 70 ringgit!”

As I headed off to Sofie’s house, it did look like it was going to rain, but thank God it didn’t. As I got to their house, I could see the door was open, so I knew someone was home. Frankly I wasn’t sure if they’d be home… who knows, they may have gone to their grandma’s house in another town where they used to stay before.

When I parked my car right in front of their house, I saw Azman, 15, and Ika, 9. Azman was tidying up the house. Azman immediately came out to salam with me, and helped to carry the box of groceries from my car. Sofie’s sister was at work. I went in and soon Azlan, 17, walked in. He was somewhere behind the house earlier.

I had a chat with them, asking about their schooling etc. Since Azlan didn’t want to transfer to a new school when Sofie moved to this new rented house, he has to use the inter-town bus to go to school every day. He has to go out at 6.30 am. Azman cycles to school as his school is within the same town, as a matter of fact, the school is just along the main road. Saiful goes to the same school as Azman (although Saiful has skipped school for more than 2 weeks to take care of his mother at the hospital) and so he too cycles to school. Ika’s school (primary) is not that far from their school, but since Sofie wasn’t too confident in letting Ika cycle to school (the main road can be quite busy), Sofie has arranged for a school bus.

Azlan and Azman goes to school in the morning while Ika goes in the afternoon. So for the past 2 weeks since Sofie was warded, when the aunt goes to work, and Azlan & Azman goes to school in the mornings, Ika would be alone at home until about 12 noon or so. However, the landlord’s mother who stays nearby (the place where they stay is a row of houses all belonging to the same landlord who stays elsewhere) who sympathised, would keep an eye on Ika. In fact, she’s the one who’d come to the house when it’s nearing noon to make sure Ika is ready. No worries about when Ika comes back from school, because by then the 2 older brothers would be home.

As we were chatting, Azman and Ika went into the kitchen. Soon, Ika came out carrying a cup of drink for me. Apparently Azman had made the drink and Ika served. Aah… without their mother around, they took the liberty to serve drinks to their guests.

Azman, the more talkative one, told me that the school had already sent a warning letter to Saiful for being absent from school for so long. Sofie’s sister then wrote a letter to the school and since Azman studies in the same school, he went to see the teacher personally to deliver the letter and to explain why Saiful couldn’t come to school… why they couldn’t take turns to take care of their mother etc. The teacher told Azman that he actually didn’t want to issue the warning letter, but since Saiful’s absence from school was only told to him through Saiful’s classmate, and not by any adult family members, the headmaster instructed him to just issue the letter so that at least the family would take the initiative to write a formal letter to the school.

Well, no school next week. Hopefully by the time school reopens after CNY, Sofie would be discharged from the hospital so that Saiful can go back to school. I’ve already told Sofie and Saiful to get a letter from the hospital to be given to the school. Hopefully no further action will be taken by the school.

 

 

Updates from the hospital…

I was relaxing at home yesterday when a text message came in on my hand phone. It came from Sofie’s number, but was actually sent by one of her children…

“Ck fzh mama kne thn wat dkt hsptl ipoh..”

It was already 6.40 pm then, and so I decided to wait until today to visit her.

I do have the special pass from the hospital so I don’t have to wait until visiting hours to visit her. But I didn’t want to go too early in the morning as during those hours the doctors were probably doing their rounds or she may have been brought elsewhere for tests etc. I decided to settle some other businesses earlier in the morning, went to the bank, went to the center, then only 10.40 am I went to the hospital. Having my car parked nearer to the Specialist Clinic, I figured I might as well drop by the ID clinic first to see the nurse before visiting Sofie in the ward. At least to get a better picture of what was wrong with Sofie as Sofie’s stories can sometimes be unreliable… not because she likes to lie, but because she herself doesn’t understand. (well, the last time she had some brain infections, she said she “sakit otak”)

The nurse wasn’t busy when I got in, so I sat down and had a chat with her.

Sofie actually came for her appointment at the ID clinic yesterday. She was so weak, her eldest son, this year sitting for his SPM, had to miss school to accompany her to the hospital. Imagine having to go up and down the bus when she could hardly walk.

Sofie was warded due to allergies to the new ARV medications given to her. She didn’t seem to adjust to the first regime of ARV given to her, so the doctor started her on a different regime. Apparently this time the side effects were even worse. She was so weak she could hardly walk. The nurse got a shock when she saw Sofie on a wheelchair during her appointment yesterday morning. She didn’t expect to see Sofie’s condition that bad. She had lost a lot of weight too (and she never had much weight to start with!). After she started taking the new regime of ARV medication, she couldn’t even eat. Every time she ate something, she’d vomit. Thus the loss of weight. Although the doctor told her to call the ID clinic if she had any problems, Sofie just decided to continue with the ARV and wait until her appointment day.

The doctor decided to get her warded so she could be put on drips and so she can regain her energy. She’ll be off ARV for 2 weeks before the doctor decides to put her on another regime of ARV. Hopefully her body will be able to take the next regime of ARV.

It was almost 11.45 am by time I went up to the ward to visit Sofie. I knew which ward she was in but I didn’t know her bed number. The board outside the ward didn’t have the names of patients at each bed. I thought I would have to go bed by bed to find her but apparently that wasn’t necessary. She was on the first bed. Sleeping on the chair by the bedside was small-sized Saiful, who spent the night there accompanying his mother. Saiful told me he had problems coming back up to the ward after he went down to get some food from the canteen. The guards didn’t believe he was 13 and so they didn’t let him in. Saiful had left his IC in the ward so he couldn’t prove his age to them. However he appealed, saying that he was accompanying his mother in the ward, one of the guards whispered to him, teaching him to use the back way. That was how he managed to get back in.

Sofie looked a bit better today, but she may need to spend at least one or two more days at the hospital for observation.

Anyway, while I was with the nurse at the ID clinic earlier, the nurse told me about a new case. A 24 year old pregnant lady, got married in Thailand to a guy whom her parents dislike. Until now the parents are neither aware of her marriage nor her pregnancy. The last time she went to visit them was during the last Raya, so I guess her pregnancy was not obvious. Her marriage has yet to be registered in Malaysia. She knew of her pregnancy for quite some time already, but only went for proper check-up last week. Her husband brought her to a private clinic, but when blood tests indicated she was HIV+, the private clinic immediately referred her case to Ipoh GH. The doctor at the ID clinic immediately started her on ARV, while the O&G had fixed her operation (to deliver the baby) for early next week.

The husband didn’t come along with his wife during last week’s appointment. Neither had he come for his own blood to be tested. According to the nurse, the lady gave all sorts of excuses why the husband couldn’t come. The nurse ended up babbling to her, to the extent that even the doctor told the lady, “You tengok! Sekarang you punya makcik (pointing to the nurse) pun sudah marah sama you!”

Hmmm… something smells rather fishy. I have a feeling there may be some other facts she may be hiding… like why her parents dislike the guy… why her husband didn’t come along to the hospital… why they didn’t bother to register the marriage…

I have taken down her details from the nurse just now, but I think I will wait until next week when she gets warded at the maternity ward, and this time I probably should visit during visiting hours… with the hope of meeting the husband as well. If the husband doesn’t turn up at the hospital to visit his wife after the delivery, then there definitely is one big stinking fish!

2222

At the end and/or beginning of each month, as usual, I’d be delivering groceries to the 2 families who monthly groceries are sponsored by a particular club until the end of this year.

I had initially wanted to visit Lin first on Thursday, but she said she’d be sending her daughter to KLIA – summer holidays are over for the daughter and so she needs to go back overseas where she is currently studying.

So I decided to deliver the groceries to Sofie’s house first. She had just started renting a new house early last week, and so this was my first visit to her new home. This time, the instruction given by Sofie was quite clear… unlike the instruction she gave during my visit to her old house, where she told me to find a house with a buaian hijau outside. :-)

I managed to get to Sofie’s house without any problems, and without using the GPS. Her place now is nearer to Ipoh, almost half the distance to the old house. Makes it much easier for me to visit.

The house, being a new house, of course looks a lot better. It is in fact better in many aspects – 2 bedrooms (as compared to just 1 in the old house), better drainage and no worries about water getting into the house during heavy rains.

The children, however, are still schooling at their old schools, which means they need to get up earlier and cannot go by bicycle like they did from their old home. Sofie will need to go to PPD Ipoh to transfer her children to nearby schools.

The rental rate is RM100 higher than the earlier house, but it’s worth it although for the moment budget is a bit tight for her. Sofie has been looking around for small time business opportunities – there are already a few stalls selling kuih including goreng pisang, one selling ais kacang but after scouting around, none sells burger. So yep, her plan is to set up a burger stall as her source of income. Despite her illnesses, despite her weaknesses, this woman got vision lah, I like… :-)

By 3.30 pm I made a move from Sofie’s house. Buddies board meeting was to be held at night, so I wanted to get home early to be able to get a rest before going out again for the meeting. We didn’t have a meeting last month because Mdm Chair wanted to do her terawikh prayers, while the vice-chair was on MC due to throat cancer. Despite discussing 2 months’ matters, I still managed to finish the meeting in about an hour. Just go straight to the point. No side-tracking!

Friday was Lin’s turn to be visited. After checking with her and finding out that she’d be coming home right after her daughter checks in for her flight, I told her I’d be coming on Friday afternoon. Only after I made that plan did 2 more appointments came – one was a business appointment (I need to earn an income too kan?), and the other was a meeting on the Men Against Violence campaign, of which I had been roped in to be in the organising committee.

So in the morning, after sending some documents/forms to our center (for further action by another volunteer), off I went to my former office. When I resigned from the company, my former boss had indicated that she’d still be passing some of the jobs to me – basically jobs which the staff aren’t experienced enough to do like projected financial statements and winding up jobs. When I went I thought I’d be getting a winding up job… only to find out that I was getting 2 winding up jobs! Alhamdulillah, rezeki…

Right after that appointment, I headed straight to the minimarket where I usually get the supply of groceries. The minimarket so happens to be near my former office.

After lunch and zohor prayer at home, off I headed to Lin’s house. It was raining earlier, but by the time I wanted to leave home, the rain had already stopped. But halfway to Lin’s house, it rained cats and dogs! Aduh, I was thinking, how la was I supposed to unload the groceries from my car in the heavy rain? I still drove on, hoping and praying at the same time that the rain would subside by the time I reached Lin’s house, or that it wasn’t raining at Lin’s house.

Alhamdulillah, prayer answered. The sky was dark when I reached Lin’s house, but it hadn’t rained yet. So unloading the groceries from my car wasn’t a problem. Better still, Lin’s son was home, and so he helped to carry down the stuff.

I just had a short chat with Lin. There was a meeting I needed to attend after that, so I quickly made a move. I got to the meeting a bit late though (I had told the chairperson of the organising meeting earlier that I may be late because I already had other plans outside of Ipoh). Coincidentally, when I reached Ipoh, I had to pass through a route full of traffic lights, and as luck would have had it, every time I reached the traffic lights, the lights went red…

I got to the meeting half an hour late, but when I walked in, they had actually just started  the meeting. So I wasn’t really late at all! Well, plans are now finalised, the Men Against Violence (MAV) campaign will officially be launched by the Mentri Besar of Perak at Ipoh Polo Ground on Sunday, 31st October 2010. Do come and support the programme! I will post more details later.

So, what has the subject 2222 got to do with this posting?

Within these 2 days, I delivered groceries to 2 families, attended 2 meetings and got 2 winding up jobs… :-)

Raya visits – Round 1

After completing an additional 6 days of fasting last week, and a trip to KL over the weekend to attend my niece’s engagement ceremony, today I finally got back into my normal voluntary work mode, although initially earlier in the morning I wasn’t really sure if I’d be starting my Raya rounds today. You see, I just came back from KL last night, and this morning it was raining, so yep, the lazy bug did try to convince me to stay home for an additional day of break.

However by 11 am the sun was out, and knowing that I’d need to start mobilizing myself before I got too lazy, I decided to visit Fuzi’s and Sofie’s family in the afternoon. Sofie’s kids had earlier on invited me to come to their house for Raya, and I promised I’d do so after I completed my puasa enam, and so today was just the right time to visit them. Fuzi’s house is just on the way, I might as well drop by her house as well.

And so after my zohor prayer today, off I went… first, to a minimarket to get some hampers. Some blog readers/facebook friends had given me some cash to be distributed to the HIV families under me – some to be given as duit raya (to the single mothers and to the children as well) and some to buy whatever suitable. As in previous years, the kids had always been excited when I brought hampers for them. It didn’t matter that I bought the inexpensive hampers.

First up, Fuzi’s house. The moment I gave the signal to turn right to her house, my first reaction was… WAAA… RUMAH RAYA!! New paint!

Fuzi had been saving some money from her monthly aid to buy baju raya for her kids, but during Ramadhan, her kids, being orphans, were chosen by a political organisation to be brought to a supermarket together with some other kids to shop for their baju raya. So, the money that Fuzi had been saving to buy baju raya, she used to buy some paint instead, and they ended up painting the house themselves.

Anyway, it was good to note that Hafiz, Fuzi’s 12 year old son, who used to be very naughty and was always out with friends, prefers to stay home a lot more now. He will be sitting for his UPSR beginning tomorrow. Hopefully he will be able to do well.

After munching some raya cookies and finishing the glass of drink prepared by Wina, Fuzi’s eldest daughter, I headed off to my next destination… Sofie’s house. Sofie’s son, Saiful, too will sit for his UPSR tomorrow.

Ahh, the right time to visit the 2 families, to at least give some words of encouragement to both Hafiz and Saiful; although when I planned to visit them, it didn’t really come to my mind that both families had children sitting for UPSR.

My visit to Sofie’s was also just in time before she moves to another house tomorrow. She was just about to tell her sister to inform me about it when she received my text message this morning saying I’d be coming.

Yes, Sofie had been wanting to move to another house earlier on because the whole neighborhood knows about her HIV (courtesy of her mulut becok sister who had been spreading the news around the kampong) but decided to postpone it until Saiful completes his UPSR. She figured she might as well wait until the end of the year so she can arrange to change their schools as well. Besides, she felt financially she wasn’t ready. The present house is rented at RM150 per month while the rental rate of all other houses she had been enquiring were at least RM250 per month.

However, beginning the end of Ramadhan, Sofie’s other sister, Norma, had come to stay with her. Norma, who used to stay up north, had been the one most supportive of Sofie. Whenever she heard that Sofie was unwell, she’d ride her motorbike from all the way up north just to check on her sister. A vast difference from the mulut becok sister who stays in the same neighborhood.

Well, Norma now is separated from her husband, and she has decided to come and stay with Sofie. She had been staying with Sofie since a few days before Raya.

So, what made Sofie change her mind about moving house? And more so, why is she moving tomorrow when UPSR is to start?

You see, in addition to having the whole neighborhood know about her HIV, the house she’s staying in tend to get flooded whenever there’s heavy rain. No, not the whole neighborhood, just her house. Worse, the septic tank outside her house had been full for some time and Sofie had informed her landlord a few times. But the landlord refused to do anything. On the first day of Raya this year, the same thing happened. Imagine having dirty water (including those overflowing from her septic tank) in the kitchen. Yucks!

Again Sofie informed the landlord. And all the landlord could say was to tell her to just use buckets or pails to clear the water out of the kitchen! Sheeesh!

Sofie got fed-up, so did Norma. They both decided to look for another house, with Norma agreeing to share the rental and deposit. Off they went searching, and over the weekend, they managed to find a house in a nearby town at a rate of RM250 per month. Although the place is a bit further for the children to go to school, it was still accessible within 30 minutes by car/motorbike/bus. Sofie or Norma would be sending/fetching the children to/from school with their motorbikes until school session for the year ends. After that, she’ll arrange for the children to be transferred to schools nearer to their new house.

Once they settle down, Sofie intends to set up a small stall selling kuih or burger near her place, beside the main road.

That’s one thing I like about Sofie, no matter what kind of hardship she has to go through, she’s always thinking of something to earn her own income instead of depending on financial aid all the time.

Well, looks like my next visit at the end of the month to deliver groceries will be to her new home…

A day at the hospital…

When Sofie got a call from the staff nurse of the Ipoh HIV clinic about 2 weeks ago, asking her to come to the hospital much sooner than the appointment already set for her, Sofie started thinking of the worse. Apparently, after getting the blood test results showing that Sofie’s CD4 had dropped drastically, the doctor wanted to find out if she had been compliant in taking her medication, and if yes, whether the drugs given were suitable for her.

Sofie, upon hearing that her condition had worsened, started thinking of what would happen to her children if she dies in the very near future. She called her sister up north (the one sister she could always rely on) telling her about it, and the sister cried. Listening to the sister cry, Sofie cried…

Sofie did call me, but I just told her not to worry and just go for the appointment so that the doctor could figure out what could be wrong. I told her not to think too much about it.

Well, Sofie and her children did seem to enjoy themselves very much during our Family Day on Sunday. As a matter of fact, Sofie herself went swimming at the pool with her kids. (sakit badan kemudian kira!)

Today was Sofie’s brought-forward appointment with the doctor. I told her to call me once she got to the hospital so I could go over and meet her there. Yesterday I made sure I had the family day photos printed so I could bring them along with me today.

Sofie called me about 10.15 am. She just arrived at the hospital then. Immediately I headed to the hospital… and after a few rounds, I finally managed to get a parking space. There seemed to be so many people at the hospital today. I just went over to the area outside the doctor’s room. Apparently most of the patients were waiting to go in to see the specialists at the rooms beside the room for HIV patients. All chairs were taken, the moment one chair was free, I told Sofie to sit. She’s not strong enough to be standing for too long. As for me, I just stood and leaned on the wall beside Sofie. When the patient sitting on the chair beside Sofie’s stood up to go in the doctor’s room, I took the seat. But after just a few minutes, a fragile-looking lady came out of the doctor’s room, needing to wait for her prescription. Aduh, takkan I nak duduk pulak… so I immediately stood up to give my seat to the lady.

We waited for quite some time, and soon more and more seats were free. Thank goodness I finally to sit down, as it was going to be quite a long wait. Sofie was only finally called in at 1 pm. Most of the other people had gone back by then. At first I just let Sofie go in alone, but knowing that the doctor was no longer as busy as earlier on, I decided to go in. I could actually go in and out of the HIV clinic even through the middle corridor meant for staff, but today I wasn’t on duty and so I didn’t want to disturb the doctor.

Both the doctor and the nurse just let me sit on the other chair usually meant for another doctor (during busy hours they’d get an MO to see some of the less problematic cases in the same room as they don’t have any more rooms to spare). I listened to Sofie’s explanation to the doctor on what hurts etc etc. The good doctor gave her some extra medication (non-HIV related) for Sofie’s complaints of sakit kaki… kulit kering… demam… selsema… and whatever else. (mana tak demamnya, enjoy sakan kat Lost World!!)

The doctor then took the opportunity to inform me about 2 cases which she felt needed my attention but had not been referred to Buddies as their appointments didn’t coincide with our clinic duties.

One was a 15 year HIV+ orphaned girl, Nalini. However, when her mother was still alive, she never brought Nalini to the hospital for appointments so Nalini never got proper treatment. Nalini’s mother herself used to miss her own appointments. After the mother died, initially Nalini’s uncle did bring her to see the nurse to fix for an appointment. The nurse had purposely fixed the appointment during one of our clinic duties so the girl could be referred to us Buddies, but the uncle never brought Nalini for the appointment. Apparently later an aunt took care of Nalini, and it was this aunt who finally brought Nalini to see the doctor, but on that day, we Buddies weren’t on duty.

Well, today the doctor suddenly thought of Nalini when she found out that we Buddies brought some clients and their families to Lost World on Sunday. She figured Nalini would have enjoyed herself there. But we did not invite Nalini because she’s not on our clients list.

Another case the doctor wanted to refer to me was the case of an orang asli lady. Her husband just died, she already has 4 children, she’s not working, and she’s pregnant with her 5th child! And according to the doctor, this lady seemed blur. “I don’t know if she understood me lah, I talk talk she like blur blur like that!”

Yep, both cases sound like they need attention, so I’d better arrange something soon. Nalini is coming for her appointment in 2 weeks time, so maybe I can meet her during her appointment. As for the OA lady, who stays in another town, I think I may need to pay her a visit one of these days to assess her situation. Only problem is, her kampong doesn’t sound familiar to me, so I’d better do some homework first.

Anyway, by the time we left the hospital, it was almost 2 pm. I took Sofie out for lunch first, bought some food for her kids before I sent her home. It was getting late by the time we reached her house, and not wanting to rush, for the first time, I decided to perform my zohor prayer at her house. “Maaflah kak, bilik saya ni sempit.” (Ahh, you didn’t have to worry about that Sofie!) Meanwhile, the kids were laughing away looking at their family day photos…

Spending a bit more time with Sofie today, I found out that Sofie can actually sew clothes. She knows how to sew baju kurung and baju Melayu it seems. The only problem is, she doesn’t have a sewing machine at home, which is why she’s not doing any sewing. But she makes kuih to be sold. In fact beginning this month, she got a tender to supply kuih to a school canteen. Some caterers too like to order from her if their clients order kuih. Good for her!

Now, if I can find a still usable sewing machine someone may no longer be using, Sofie may be able to use it…

Clearer but dizzier…

I had promised Saiful I’d come again this week to bring him to the optical shop to get his new pair of glasses. But I had something on earlier in the afternoon and so I was a little bit late today.

The boy just came back from a nearby grocery shop, buying some stuff Sofie needed. Just as he stepped into the house he asked his mother, “Makcik Afizah dah datang belum?” Before Sofie could answer, Saiful turned around and saw my car. “Yayy! Sampai dah!” he shouted, excited I suppose, about getting his new pair of glasses.

So off we went, just Saiful and myself. Sofie was too tired to come along, while Ika, who always gets car sick with the aircond on, decided not to follow. We wouldn’t be long anyway.

This time I didn’t bother to get any parking coupons when I parked my car in town. I used the last piece that I had last week. The coupons I have in my car are for Ipoh only and does not cover that town. Besides, I figured it would only be for a short while to get Saiful’s glasses, and so… ikut nasiblah… (thank God by the time we got back to the car, there was no parking summons… phew!)

The moment I walked into the shop with Saiful, the taukeh remembered us. He took out Saiful’s glasses, and goodness, despite the fact that it was supposed to be thinner, it was still thick! Initially when Saiful first wore it, he did say he could see clearly. But the moment he walked out of the shop, he started getting dizzy and almost walked into a pillar! But he’s such a cute boy, he just laughed!

See how thick it is?

I reminded him of what the doctor said earlier – that he would probably be dizzy during the first week after wearing glasses. He’d need time to adjust himself to wearing glasses after never wearing any despite the need for one since he was still a little boy (oh well, he is still “little” but he’s almost 12 now!). The doctor told him to wear the glasses ALL the time, except when he bathes and sleeps. If he doesn’t make it a habit to wear the glasses, then chances are he will need to get his eyes operated on. That reminder was enough to make him wear the glasses – the words “kena operate” was enough to scare him!

Well, let’s just hope the boy will get used to wearing ‘em glasses soon.

Anyway, Sofie is still looking around for a house, but for the moment she is temporarily looking for a house in the same town first. Saiful is sitting for his UPSR this year, and so moving to a totally new town and a new school may be a problem for Saiful especially now that he has already registered for his UPSR to be taken at his present school. The present house can be a problem especially when there’s heavy rain as water gets into the house and even water level from the toilet rises, spilling into the kitchen! Yuks! And with Sofie’s condition, every time she has to clean-up after that (her children helps but she simply couldn’t sit still and watch), she’d end up having problems getting up!

Sofie is already eying one house in another area in the same town. Hopefully the rental is not so high. By year end school holidays, she hopes to move to another town and start afresh.

And oh, Sofie is slowly beginning to make some kuih and send them to a friend’s stall to be sold. The friend sells nasi lemak and meehoon, no kuih, so she offered Sofie to sell her kuih at her stall. Not much, but a start…

That’s what I like about Sofie. She doesn’t just sit still waiting for help to come her way. She finds ways and means to earn her own income, albeit not much. And unlike some other clients whose health condition aren’t as bad as Sofie’s,  she understands that I’m there to help her get back on her feet, not to provide everything for her family forever!

I like helping people with this kind of attitude…

A pair of glasses for Saiful

Some time last year I wrote about Saiful’s eye problem. The boy had been having vision problems since he was young but due to poverty and Sofie’s marital problems back then, she couldn’t afford the fares to bring the boy to the hospital for his check-ups.

When I started handling their case, initially there were too many problems that had to be settled, I wasn’t aware of Saiful’s vision problem. I did notice his small size though, at 11, he looked more like a 6 year old.

Later on, after the initial problems were settled, bit by bit I got to know of their other problems. Then one day Sofie told me about how she brought Saiful to an optical shop to get his eyes tested for free. The people there then told her that Saiful needed a pair of glasses ASAP as the power needed was already too high. They offered to do the glasses for him at RM200+ after student discount. Since Sofie didn’t have the money, she told them she’d have to think about it first. They wrote down Saiful’s details on a card and even gave them a discount voucher.

When I got to know about it, I decided to bring Saiful to another optician for a second opinion. The second optician didn’t dare make the glasses for him. They could easily make some money by saying the same thing the people at the first optical shop said, but they knew it would be in the boy’s best interest if he was brought to see an eye specialist first.

And so that was what I did. I brought him to the district hospital, and from there, I managed to get a referral letter to enable the boy to see the ophthalmologist  at Ipoh GH. He had gone for at least 2 appointments already.

I went to Sofie’s house today to deliver this month’s supply of groceries. The moment I sat down, Ika, the youngest, excitedly told me that her brother had already got the prescription from the Ipoh GH to get his glasses done. Sofie just needed to go to any optical shop, just show the prescription, and make a pair of glasses for Saiful. But as usual, she didn’t have enough money to do so yet.

The moment I heard about it, I said, “Jom!”

Saiful: “Sekarang?”

Me: “Ye lah, sekaranglah. Nak tunggu siap seminggu pulak lagi.”

Sofie: “Tapi nak kena bayar deposit jugak dulu kan?”

Me: “Takpe, jangan risau. Akak bayar, lepas tu akak boleh claim balik nanti.”

So off we went (just me and Saiful since Sofie wasn’t feeling too well) to an optical shop in town recommended by Sofie. According to Sofie, the price there is quite reasonable.

The guy got a shock looking at the prescription given. He looked at the boy and when I told him the boy’s age, he got an even bigger shock.

Imagine this… the boy is 12 years old, with a weight of 21 kg (his growth got stunted ever since he was down with a high fever when he was about 3 years old) and the power needed for his glasses were 950 for one side and 750 for the other. And this was no cincai-cincai prescription, it was given by the specialist clinic at the Ipoh GH!

After choosing a frame for Saiful, the optician recommended that we do the thinner and more expensive type of glasses for Saiful. Yes, he could do the normal cheap one (RM50 for the glasses without frame), but with such high power, the glasses would be too thick. And for someone who had never worn glasses before despite his poor vision, a thick pair of glasses would be a problem for him to adjust to.

The optician then calculated the cost and told me that he’d charge RM220 frame + glasses. I started coaxing him to give some discount, telling him about the boy’s poor family.

Me: “Kesian la ini budak. Mata sudah teruk pun belum pernah pakai cermin mata laa.”

Optician: “Hah? Belum pernah pakai cermin mata ka? Apa pasal?”

Me: “Dia punya mak orang miskin, mana mampu mau bayar!”

Optician: “You dia punya cikgu ka?”

Me: “Bukan, saya dari NGO. Ni saya punya voluntary work saja.”

Optician: “OK, itu macam frame saya kasi free. You bayar RM150 saja. Lain kali kalau ada lagi ini macam punya kes, you bawak datang sini. Frame saya tak charge!”

Woohoo!!

The pair of glasses will be ready on Thursday next week. But I have a meeting on Thursday afternoon, so I paid a deposit of RM50 and told him I’d come on Friday instead.

So yep, in a week’s time, Saiful will start wearing glasses. I hope he will be able to adjust himself quick enough. The boy will be sitting for his UPSR this year…

A bleak future?

I had promised Sofie I’d be visiting her on Friday to fetch her; and thereafter she’d show me the way to Fiza’s house. I needed to get more info on Fiza so I could pass the info to members of an alumni who had approached me to give them some leads as to where they could extend their charity funds.

Since Fiza is not one of our HIV clients (I just so happened to meet her when she was at Sofie’s house. Sofie’s her SIL), and I already have too many HIV cases to handle, I thought it would be best if another organization or individual took over her case. So when members of the particular alumni approached me, I thought it would be best if I recommended Fiza to them.

Anyway, when I got to Sofie’s house, another of Sofie’s sister (not the mulut becok one staying in the same housing area) was also there. I have met this sister a few times before. Although she stays in another state up north, she makes it a point to visit Sofie and her children whenever she could. Unlike the other sister staying nearby, this sister is very concerned about Sofie’s health and well-being.

Sofie herself wasn’t feeling too well. For the past 2 or 3 days, she had been going to a nearby town on her motorbike (she calls the bike “motosikal raja” – no road tax/insurance) looking for a house to rent so the family could move to a new place as soon as possible. So by the time I went to see her on Friday, she could hardly walk without being aided. It wasn’t advisable for me to bring Sofie with me to go to Fiza’s house.

But Sofie’s sister agreed to show me the way, and so along with Azman, Sofie’s son who was back from his school hostel, off we went to Fiza’s house. Good thing I didn’t attempt to look for the house by myself. You see, although the address shows the name of the main road, her house is actually somewhere at the back. We needed to go in through a narrow space between 2 houses to get to her house. Shouldn’t be a problem if you’re driving a Kancil or Viva, and although I think my Kenari would be able to go through too (albeit ngam-ngam), I decided to just park my car in front of the 2 houses. There weren’t any occupants in those houses anyway, in fact one of the houses were obviously not fit for anyone to live in.

Good thing Azman came along. He helped to carry the groceries which I had brought along with me.

Fiza was actually waiting for me. Sofie had earlier informed her that I would be coming on Friday. In fact on Friday morning, Fiza called Sofie to confirm if indeed I would be coming. She had seen the kind of help Sofie had been getting, and so she was hoping she could get some help for her family as well.

Only Fiza and her 15 year old daughter was home. The 2 younger children were at school.  I asked Fiza for her MyKad and her children’s birth certs so I could write down the details in my log book. It was then that I realised her eldest daughter doesn’t share the same father with the 2 younger children. Then I remembered Sofie mentioning to me that Fiza had married twice, both times the husband died.

After taking down their details, I noticed that Fiza is only 31 years old. Which means she gave birth to her eldest daughter when she was only 16, the second child at 18 and the third at 20. I looked further and noticed the eldest daughter’s name came with “binti Abdullah”. My mind began to wonder, but since only her MyKad was shown to me, there were no details on the girl’s father. I didn’t want to ask further. It didn’t matter who the girl’s father was, the family still needed help.

Fiza’s second child, at 13, still doesn’t have a MyKad. I told Fiza not to wait too long as there may be complications later on, but Fiza was concerned that there may be a penalty which she may not be able to afford.

Those who had been following my blog, may remember my posting here about Fiza’s 15 year old girl who was expelled from school last year due to her absence from school without notifying the school. Fiza had to appeal to the Education Department to get her daughter back in school. Well, the letter came, her appeal was approved and the girl allowed to continue schooling at the same school. She’s supposed to sit for her PMR this year. Fiza showed me the letter on Friday. It was dated January, not long after the last time I met them at Sofie’s house.

Good news? Well, not so. Despite getting the letter, the girl simply refused to go to school. Her excuse was that her mother was unwell; but frankly, after meeting her, I think she simply doesn’t want to study any more.  And so she had been staying home, helping her mother out as a rubber tapper. When Fiza’s unwell (she has heart problems) and doesn’t go out to work, the girl wouldn’t go either. It would be dangerous for the girl to go there early in the morning to such a lonely and secluded place – it’s not a proper rubber estate, just a piece of land with some rubber trees belonging to an individual, and whatever rubber Fiza sells, the proceeds would be shared 50-50 with the owner. And unlike some time ago when the price of rubber shot up, now the price is quite low.

I asked the girl what her interest was. I suggested to her that even if she doesn’t want to go to school, she could maybe consider going for a short kursus kemahiran or something so she’d at least have some skills she could use to generate income. I told her she’d need to think of her future.

But the girl didn’t say a word. She just looked down and kept quiet. I don’t really know what she wants in her life. Right now her future looks rather bleak. For all we know she’d also end up like her mother – get married at such an early age. She is after all, almost the same age as when her mother gave birth to her.

Well, I’ve already given the family’s info to members of the said alumni. Hopefully they can do something to help so that the 2 younger children will not end up like their eldest sister.

As for the house Sofie was looking for, she did find one near Fiza’s place, but the rental of RM200 per month was a bit to high for Sofie. So we’re still looking around. Sofie is now even willing to move all the way to the outskirts of Ipoh if we could find a house with a rental of below RM200. At least if she stays near Ipoh, it wouldn’t be too much of a problem going to the hospital for Saiful’s and her own appointments.

So yep, we’re still looking around for a suitable house.

Getting help for the poor

A fellow volunteer assigned to be the buddy to Wan, an Orang Asli lady, called me recently asking if there’d be any sort of financial assistance to Wan. The volunteer had just met up with Wan and found that her condition was so bad, she was begging for help. Without a job, staying in a real ulu kampong not accessible by car, and a 10 year old son depending on her, Wan was quite desperate.

Her son is already covered by our CEF for his educational needs. But CEF is paid based on claims – not on monthly basis. For our Sponsorship programme (which also includes monthly pocket money), our procedure is that at least 2 other buddies must visit the PLHIVs at their homes to assess their situation.

But if we follow that procedure strictly, I can’t be too sure when Wan’s son, Asri, can be considered for sponsorship. With a house in an ulu Orang Asli kampong that is not accessible by car, I figured in situations like these, “budibicara” needs to be used. After discussing the matter unofficially with my vice-chair, we decided to just proceed with the matter and rectify later at the next Board meeting.

So this time I used my FB account to highlight the matter and within a few days, I got a sponsor for Asri. Alhamdulillah.

Meanwhile, I got the volunteer to get all the necessary info on the boy. And today she called me up, not just with some info on the boy, but also with some good news. The good news is, Wan finally managed to get herself a job, at a kedai jahit, with a pay of RM16 a day. At least now she has some income to buy food for herself and her son. Only thing is, the shop where she works is in town. Although the kampong where she stays is in the same town, commuting from her ulu kampong to town is not easy unless she has a motorbike.

So Wan is renting a small house in town together with a few other Orang Asli ladies. Her son is left under the care of a relative and Wan would “balik kampong” during the weekends.

On another note, remember Fiza, Sofie’s sis-in-law who needed help? Since Fiza is not HIV infected/affected, I couldn’t apply any of the Buddies funds to help her out. Well, members of a certain alumni with their own charity fund had approached me recently to ask if I could give them some leads as to where they could expand their charity drive. I suggested Fiza’s family and they agreed. I have been asked to get more details on her. Only problem is, the last time I met Fiza, she couldn’t even tell me the exact address of her rented house (she couldn’t even remember her own MyKad number!). She did give me a phone number, but the last I heard, she was desperate for money, she sold her phone for RM20. So I couldn’t call her.

Coincidentally today Sofie called me up. She’s thinking of moving house earlier than she had initially planned. Her new neighbor (who’s also her landlord’s younger brother) has been making Sofie’s family feeling somewhat unwanted. He has been building all sorts of barriers between his house and the house Sofie is staying in. Maybe he heard about her HIV and so those barriers are to avoid the virus from spreading to his house???!!

Anyway, Sofie plans to move to the same town as Fiza. She wants to start her small business of selling kuih as soon as possible and she wants to start afresh at a new town. The town where Fiza is staying is perfect as it is not too far from the town where she is currently staying. In the event that she is not able to arrange for the transfer of her children’s schools that soon, they can at least still commute to their present school by bus.

When Sofie said she wants to look around for a house at that town within these next few days, I thought it would be a good opportunity to visit Fiza’s family. So I volunteered to fetch Sofie at her house and bring her around to find a suitable house, but after that Sofie will have to show me the way to Fiza’s house. Sofie agreed.

The earlier I can get details to be passed to the alumni wanting to help to Fiza’s family, the better. InsyaAllah we (Sofie & myself) will be visiting them this Friday afternoon. And I can bet Sofie’s children, Saiful and Ika will be tagging along as well…

The typical delivery routine

First get the groceries from the minimarket and stuff em in my car. Yep, itulah kereta yang saya guna...

...then go to the identified PLHIV's house...

...and deliver the stuff!

After my usual pasar tani routine yesterday, I decided to cook lunch straightaway since I intended to visit Sofie and deliver this month's supply of groceries. Sofie had told me earlier that she needed to go to her son's school in the afternoon as the teachers wanted to meet and discuss matters with parents of students sitting for UPSR this year. So if I were to visit, I'd better do so before lunch time.

By 10 am, I was at the minimarket to collect all the items I had listed down and given to the minimarket owner earlier on Friday. The best thing is I only have to go and collect the things... the bills are given to somebody else i.e. the lady representing the club sponsoring the groceries. Hmmm... wonder if I can do the same for my own groceries... hehehe...

By 11 am I was already at Sofie's house. None of her boys were home as they had activities to attend to in their respective schools, although Saiful had initially wanted to skip the activity at his school when he heard that I was coming. Thank goodness Sofie reminded him of my warning that I won't be visiting them again if they used me as an excuse to skip school! Only Ika, her youngest was home with her mother and so the little girl had to help me carry the stuff down from my car. Sofie tried to help too, but looking at her frail figure carrying a bag of rice, I told her to just "dok diam-diam dalam rumah!"

I saw lots of short wires on the table inside her house. That's Sofie's attempt to earn some extra income for the family after her attempts in trying to get a proper job failed. Nobody dared give her a job, looking at her fragile condition. At least with the wires (she's supposed to insert the wires into something) she gets at least about RM120 a month. Last month her sister who came from another state helped her out and so she managed to get RM190.

During my last visit, Sofie did mention she may want to move to a nearby town. She wanted to start afresh where nobody knows her. Yesterday I asked her again, and the plan is still on. She's just waiting for the right time - probably during the coming school holidays. What I like is the fact that she is already planning to start her own small business... selling nasi lemak and kuih at the new place. She had done those sort of things before she got sick, which means she already has the experience. Only thing is, she doesn't want to be doing the same thing now because the whole neighborhood knows about her HIV.

I told Sofie to immediately inform me once she has decided when she's going to move and when she intends to start selling nasi lemak and kuih. I should be able to help her with the capital needed to start off. Ooops, sorry, not me. I meant my friends and blog readers who had always been kind enough to donate through me to be given to the poor families.

Sofie also told me that a few officers from the welfare department came for their assessment visit recently and she was told not to worry as her application for welfare aid will most likely be approved. However, based on past experiences, I doubt that will be anytime soon... although I do honestly hope things have changed (for the better!).

Sofie is grateful for all the help she's getting. "Sekarang ni pun kalau akak tak tolong harus kami anak-beranak tak makan kot," she said. Oh no, sister, not me, but donors! Hmmph, ni yang orang kata, lembu punya susu, si Pi dapat nama... ;-)

Anyway, remember her son Saiful, the one with the poor vision and needed to see an eye specialist? Well, according to the specialist, Saiful may need to undergo an eye operation. However, he will still need to come for a few more follow ups before the surgery. I suppose he will have to wait until after his UPSR before the surgery. Sigh, the poor boy...

Enough is enough!

Unable to visit Sofie at the hospital yesterday due to a long list of things to do, I called her around noon to find out what was wrong with her.

“Doctor cakap badan saya tak cukup garam dan terlebih oksigen.”

I told her I’d be visiting today and asked her if anybody was home since I wanted to send this month’s supply of groceries as well. I felt relieved when I was told that her older sister (not the one Sofie used to stay with, this is another sister staying in another state) was home looking after the needs of Sofie’s kids. They (the sister & her husband) were there over the weekend, but looking at Sofie’s fragile condition, decided to stay on for another week. They were the ones who arranged to send Sofie to the hospital. If it was up to Sofie herself, she’d rather suffer at home than being warded at the hospital.

This morning Sofie sent me a text message, saying that she may be discharged in the afternoon. I did tell her that if she was willing to wait until after 2.30 pm, I may be able to fetch her at the hospital. But at that time she herself wasn’t really sure what time exactly she’d be discharged, as she was still on drip, so I figured I’d just give her a call before I make a move from Ipoh.

Around 12.30 pm, Sofie called to say she had already been discharged and had already called her sister to fetch her at the hospital. She preferred taking the bus rather than wait another 2 hours or so for me to come and fetch her. I figured for whatever reasons, she couldn’t stand it anymore at the hospital.

Before going home from lunch this afternoon, I went over to the minimarket near my office to get this month’s supply of groceries for Sofie’s family.

I headed straight to Sofie’s house right after my zuhr prayer, and got there about 2.40 pm. I was pleasantly surprised to see Ika there. I thought her school session was in the afternoon and so she wouldn’t be home if I visit during weekdays afternoons. Apparently her school changed from afternoon to morning session after the recent CNY holidays. So today other than Saiful, Ika too helped to carry down the groceries from my car. Sofie’s bro-in-law too came out to help carry the things. I have already met Sofie’s sister & bro-in-law twice before this, so they are quite familiar with me already.

Anyway, Sofie had already asked to be discharged from the hospital yesterday, but the doctor wouldn’t allow her. This morning she asked again, giving the excuse that there was nobody at home to take care of her children. Well yes, Sofie’s sister was home, but all Sofie wanted was an excuse to go home. The truth was, she couldn’t stand it any longer at the hospital.

You see, most of the nurses at the hospital knew Sofie’s family. It had been quite some time since Sofie was last warded at that hospital (ever since she was diagnosed HIV+, she has been going to Ipoh GH for her appointments), and so this time, they asked her all sorts of questions. They asked about her husband, whom they had always known as a playboy. They asked about her HIV. Sofie couldn’t take it any longer, so she repeatedly asked to be discharged. The doctor finally agreed this morning although her BP was still rather low.

Worse, when Sofie’s bro-in-law went out to buy roti canai this morning, the roti canai seller asked him straight in the face, “*Sofie tu sah HIV positif ya?” And guess who told him? None other than Sofie’s other sister who stays nearby – the one whom Sofie had been staying with earlier. With Sofie hospitalised, that sister has even more stories to tell the neighborhood.

Sofie has had it with that particular sister. She intends to quietly move to a nearby town in one or two months time – without telling THAT sister. Last time she told me she may move at the end of the year. But now she intends to move as soon as possible and start afresh at a new place. In fact, she also intends to change to a new phone number. She has already identified a house, with the same rental rate as the present house. She will also need to arrange for her children’s change of school. Sofie’s sister and bro-in-law (the ones who came from another state to visit) had promised to help her out when she moves.

Sofie promised me that whatever and whenever she decides, she’d inform me first. I told her that if the timing is right, I don’t mind helping her move.

Poor Sofie. It’s tough when you’re staying in a small town where everybody knows you have HIV. Worse, when people start whispering every time you pass by. And with her own sister as the main source of news, all Sofie wants now is not only to get away from her neighbors – main thing is to get away from her sister!

Good news, bad news…

I was shopping for some personal things this afternoon when I suddenly saw a familiar face that I didn’t expect at all to see, of all places, at a hypermarket in Ipoh. Without mistake, the person I saw was definitely Anita. Anita? Hmmm… what was she doing in Ipoh? And at a hypermarket?

I knew very likely she wasn’t there alone, so I looked around her. Yep, saw Kak Ana! And there was a little toddler in a pram – who else could it be other than… my little Cek Mek!! Woohoo!!

I went over to them. Kak Ana had brought Anita to the hospital earlier to see SN and since they ran out of diapers for the little ones, Kak Ana decided to go to the hypermarket to shop for the needs of the infants at her shelter home.

Cek Mek is no longer as chubby as she used to be. Oh well, the last I saw her, all she did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep. Now? Well, she’s almost 10 months old (wah, so fast??!) and dah buas, so yeah, that explains why she’s no longer chubby! But she has not lost that old selamba aka muka sadin looks… just like her Opah Pi… heheheh…

The little girl still has to go for follow ups at the hospital and get her blood tested, but alhamdulillah, so far so good.

On another note, I got a call tonight from Sofie’s number. At first I thought it was Sofie herself. But it turned out to be Sofie’s sister. Sofie was the one who asked her to call me to inform me that she was unwell and that they were waiting for a neighbour’s car to help bring Sofie to the hospital. According to the sister, Sofie was too weak to get up.

Hmmm… I’m wondering if her condition is back to square one… like when I first met her? Looks like I have to rearrange my plans for this week – instead of visiting Lin first, I’d probably better visit Sofie first.

I sure hope it’s nothing serious though…

They deserve help, but…

I went to visit Sofie today. It has been a whole month since I last went to visit them – that was when I took the children shopping for their uniforms etc.

Sofie’s eldest son, Azlan, who sat for his PMR last year, got 1A,2B’s, 2C’s and 3D’s. The subject he scored A was for Kemahiran Teknikal. His school teacher and headmaster recommended that he applies for Sekolah Teknik boarding school and while he is reluctant to go (reason being there’d be nobody to take care of his mother at home in case she falls sick again), we are all encouraging him to go if he does indeed get the offer.

Azman, the second child, who had been staying at his school hostel at a nearby semi-residential school since last year, was home for the weekend when I went to visit today. He brought along a letter from the school asking for various fees, including for food. All in all, the total was RM240. Had I not visited them today, Sofie wouldn’t have highlighted the matter to me. To her I have been helping them a lot already and so she was not going to ask for more. Whatever fixed monthly amount that she had been getting she used to pay for workbooks etc. I told her we have a separate fund specifically for schooling needs, so the amount should be covered by this fund, not the monthly pocket money for the children that had been banked in to her account.

Saiful’s and Ika’s fees are not as much as their 2 older brothers’ fees. But these will still be covered by either our Sponsorship or Children Education Fund.

Other than that, Sofie has started looking around for a job. She has improved a whole lot health-wise (those who had been following her story may remember my description of how weak she was when I first met her) and although she still looks fragile, she is at least already capable of not only taking care of herself, but also cooking for her children.

I like her attitude. Unlike some people (I think you know who) who expects help to come in anytime they need it, Sofie on the other hand said, “Takkan sampai bila-bila saya nak tunggu bantuan Kak Afizah je!” OK, actually the bantuan doesn’t come from me, but delivered THROUGH me, but what to do… as the saying goes… “Lembu punya susu, si Pi dapat nama”. Hehehe…

The only problem now is that since the community there are all aware of Sofie’s health history, they are reluctant to give her a job. No, not because she has HIV, but because at one time Sofie’s condition was so bad, they are afraid she may end up like that again. All of them kept asking her, “Larat ke engkau nak kerja? Nanti kalau sakit balik macam mana?” With Sofie still looking rather fragile, so far no luck!

But guess what? Sofie did not give up just like that. She managed to get a “work-at-home” kinda job, inserting wires. For every 500 pieces, she’d be paid RM8. She just brought home the first batch of 500 today and she’s supposed to send them back tomorrow to earn her first RM8. If she feels she can cope, tomorrow she’ll ask to bring home more so she can earn more. With her children helping her out at home, I think she may be able to do more than just 500 a day.

See what I mean when I said I like her attitude? She TRIES to be as independent as she can be! Mrs K and Fuzi could learn a thing or two from her!

Sofie has applied for financial assistance from both Welfare and Baitulmal. Application submitted before Raya last year. So far, nobody has visited her at home to assess her situation. Thank goodness a few of my blog readers are helping the family out while the children's educational needs are covered by either our CEF or Sponsorship Fund. Otherwise by now, Sofie would have already asked her still schooling eldest son to work (she had that in mind when I visited her initially).

On another note, when I visited Sofie today, her sis-in-law (her ex-husband’s younger sister) and children were also there, visiting. Sofie selamba-ly introduced her to me, “Ni adik bekas suami saya. Dia tau lah perangai abang dia macam mana. Akak nak tau, akak tanyalah dia!”

Oh no thank you, I wasn’t there to gossip about her ex-husband. I was there to help them for their future.

Anyway, Sofie’s sis-in-law, Fiza, is also a single mother. Her late husband died 2 years ago, leaving her to fend for her 4 kids. Last year, due to health problems (Fiza has heart problems), she was unable to work, and needed her daughter, then in form 2, to take care of her at home. So the girl missed school for about 2 to 3 months. Her mistake was, she never informed her school. The school sent a show cause letter to Fiza at home, but due to her health problems, she did not respond. The girl didn’t bother to respond either. She just wanted to take care of her mother. Those lazy buggers at her school should have at least attempted to visit her at home to find out what her problem was. But no, they did not. When the show cause letter was not replied, they expelled the girl from school.

When she got a bit better, Fiza went to the school to explain matters and to get her daughter back into school. She asked the teacher in charge to visit them at home to find out for sure about their hardship. She begged the teacher to reconsider her daughter’s case. She told the teacher about her problems, yet all the teacher said was, “Itu masalah awak, bukan masalah saya!” I suppose since Fiza’s daughter isn’t so bright (she can’t even remember her own IC number without looking at her MyKad), maybe the teacher figured the school was better off without her. And maybe too, Fiza, who doesn’t earn much as a rubber tapper, had not been paying her children’s school fees.

So Fiza went to the Pejabat Pendidikan early this week to appeal her daughter’s case. She was told, “Tengoklah puan, kalau ada rezeki anak puan, bolehlah dia sekolah balik. Kalau tidak, taklah.” Like that oso can ah??

The school may have the right to take disciplinary action against errant students (AFTER they investigate the case thoroughly), but that doesn’t mean the children should be deprived of their basic rights to education.

The girl is supposed to be sitting for her PMR this year. I am not sure how long she has to wait to find out the result of her appeal (Fiza was told it may take at least a month), but the girl should be in school NOW.

With her income of about RM200 per month, Fiza’s application for Welfare Aid had been approved (after a few months applying). She’s using the monthly aid to pay for her house rental and utility bills. But I guess nothing much has changed, the monthly welfare aid can be very inconsistent. Fiza had also applied for Baitulmal help but was told that she didn’t qualify because she could still work. Well, she IS working, as a rubber tapper, despite her heart problem, but she doesn’t earn enough lah!

I already have my hands quite tied with all my HIV cases. But I don’t have the heart to buat donno with Fiza’s case. Telling her I can’t help her because she doesn’t have HIV would make me no different than the various agencies with their standard “ini bukan di bawah bidang kuasa kami” line. Hopefully I can help source some kind of help for her.

Update on Sofie's family

The last time I went to visit Sofie, I didn't bring along any groceries for the family. I went to fetch her kids to bring them along with me during my trip to Kedah.

With money from donors rather consistently coming in, I'd better make sure I use the money to help the poor families consistently too. So after lunch on Sunday, off I went, first to buy some groceries, then after calling Sofie to make sure they were home, I also bought some ready to eat foodstuff for the kids.

Sofie was outside her house when I arrived. I was happy to note that her condition seemed to have improved a whole lot especially if compared to the first few times I visited her. Now she can at least pay more attention to the children instead of the children having to pay more attention to her.

Anyway, only Saiful and Ika were home when I visited on Sunday. The two older boys were out. Saiful and Ika got excited when I passed to them an envelope containing their pictures taken during the trip to Kedah. They were excitedly telling their mother... "Ha, ni masa Acik panjat rumah atas pokok tu".... "Hahaha! Ada gambar masa Angah kejar itik".... "Ni ha ada gambar adik berenang!"

I bet when their brothers came home, there was a repeat of all the excitement... :)

Both Saiful's and Ika's year-end school exams were over, although their results were not all out yet. But Ika had already gotten back a few of her exam papers and she willingly showed me the papers - even her Mandarin paper (yes, she's taking Mandarin as one of the lessons in school) which she got wrong for most of the questions! Her other papers were not too bad, although she had problems for English and Maths. In fact, for her Maths paper, the only reason she couldn't score better was her poor English.

You see, since she has to take up Maths in English, due to her poor command of the language, she couldn't understand some of the questions in her Maths paper. I saw her exam papers. It was quite obvious that while she could answer the questions which came in the form of numbers alone; the ones where the questions came in the form of English sentences, she couldn't answer correctly as she didn't even understand the question.

She complained that the teacher spoke fully in English when teaching, making it difficult for her to understand. The interesting thing was according to her, at the end of each lesson, the teacher would ask, "Are you understand?" and all the kids would say, "YES!"

I then asked Ika, "Cikgu kata are you understand ke cikgu kata do you understand?"

"Kalau cikgu dulu tanya do you understand, cikgu sekarang ni tanya are you understand," she said.

Duh! Cikgu pun tak betul rupanya...

"Makcik tau ke cakap Bahasa Inggeris?" Ika then asked me. Eh, see the leg lah...

On another note, Sofie plans to get Saiful circumcised during the school holidays. When her sister heard about it, she too wanted her 12 year old son to get circumcised together and even wanted to hold a kenduri for that purpose. Sofie was reluctant, saying that she couldn't afford to hold a kenduri, but her sister said not to worry, just join her kenduri. The sister went to the extent of taking a RM1K loan from the kampong cooperative just to have the kenduri!! Although Sofie was still rather reluctant, she didn't bother to object either.

That was until Ika came home from her aunt's house one day and told her what she heard. Apparently, upon hearing that the mother (Sofie's sister) would hold the kenduri for both her son and Saiful, the eldest son (Sofie's nephew, the same mulut laser one who had prompted Sofie to move out of her sister's house in the first place), said out loud, "Sibuk je si *Saiful nak tumpang kenduri kita!"

The moment Sofie heard about it, she decided to just quietly arrange for Saiful's circumcision to be done at he hospital without informing her sister. No need kenduri-kenduri! Even families who can afford to hold kenduris without borrowing money are no longer doing kenduri bersunat.

Saiful has yet to go to Ipoh GH to set an appointment with the eye specialist. Sofie intends to bring him during the first week of the coming school holidays. Coincidentally she too needs to come and get her supply of medication then, so might as well come in one trip.

I told Sofie I'd probably come again some time in early December to bring her children shopping for next year's schooling needs. If I were to leave it to Sofie to buy first and claim later, she'd end up buying cheap poor quality uniforms/shoes as she wouldn't dare buy the average priced ones (which are already too expensive for her). Within less than a month, you'd hear the children complaining about koyak here, koyak there... lubang here, lubang there... but they'd still wear the uniforms/shoes anyway.

Just as I was about to leave, Sofie asked about an HIV positive person I had been enquiring about earlier. You see, I had asked her on the whereabouts of a particular kampong in the same town. Sofie asked if the person I was talking about was a maknyah. There were news being passed around about an HIV+ maknyah who was already in very critical condition.

Nope, the person I had enquired about earlier was a married lady, not a maknyah.

But speaking of maknyah, remember the call from the maknyah in my earlier posting here? This must be the person Sofie was talking about - the earlier caller came from the same kampong. Early yesterday morning, a text message came in from the earlier caller to inform us that the friend had already been hospitalised. I just hope it's not too late to help.

Of pisang abu, jagung rebus and Sofie's children

With limited time and so many things to do at home in the morning before I go to my office, I usually can't settle too many things in a day. Mana nak mesin rumput... mana nak tebang pokok pisang... mana nak kait rambutan gading... mana nak tebas semak-samun...

I actually needed to cut down quite a few banana trees as the bananas were getting almost too ripe. Some had even been eaten by the birds...

So, no more postponing, yesterday I cut down 2 of the banana trees. I put aside some of the pisang abu for own consumption at home, while the bulk of the bananas were put in my car. My intention yesterday was to send the bananas over to Lin at her goreng pisang stall.

But later I found out Lin was not in town for the week, so the bananas spent the night in my car.

I had planned to go to Sofie's house this week to get Saiful's referral letter (for his appointment with the eye specialist at Ipoh GH), so I figured I might as well go today. SN told me last week that Saiful's presence is not necessary for an appointment to be arranged, so I thought I'd take the letter and make the necessary arrangements. My clinic duty will be next week so I intend to go to the eye clinic on the same day to arrange for Saiful's appointment.

And yes, I did go to Sofie's house today. Only Sofie, her eldest son Azlan and Saiful were home. Sofie's 2nd son Azman stays at his school hostel (in the same town), while Ika, her youngest was at school. Azlan had just sat for his PMR this week.

After getting the referral letter and a copy of Saiful's birth cert, I asked Sofie if she wanted some pisang abu. "Saya terima aje," said Sofie. I told Sofie, that since I brought quite a lot, if Sofie and her children can't finish them, she can give the bananas to her sister (the one Sofie used to stay with). Her sister earns extra income by making a variety of kuih to be sent to school canteens, so she can use the bananas to make pisang goreng or lepat pisang or cokodok or whatever other banana-based kuih to be sold.

I was happy to note that Sofie seemed much better health-wise. If previously she was always lying down whenever I visited her, this time she was well enough to go to the kitchen to make a drink for me. When I was there, Saiful too came to the front with a spoon of salt and asked his mother, "Banyak ni cukup?" "Bolehlah tu," replied his mother.

"Buat apa?" I asked.

"Rebus jagung," he said.

So yes, other than the drink prepared by Sofie, I was also served Saiful's jagung rebus.

I don't usually make it a habit to let my poor PLHIV clients serve me drinks and food (they need the food more), but when they do serve me something to eat/drink, I do make it a point to eat/drink, at least a little. I don't want them to feel as though I was afraid to eat/drink anything prepared by them. Besides, when they serve the food, it was not meant for me alone, they ate together with me. It felt more family-like, eating and drinking togeder-geder with them... :-)

Anyway, I told Sofie I intend to attend a programme up north in Kedah next Saturday. The programme, organised by my alumni, will be held at a center set up by a man who has done wonders - providing tuition, educational and recreational support for hardcore poor children.

There are various reasons I want to go for the event. Firstly, my alumni seldom organizes events outside of Klang Valley. This is the first time the event is held up north. Although there's not much difference between the Ipoh-KL and Ipoh-Kedah distance, I want to give my support so that they will continue with decentralised events in future.

Secondly, the subject is close to my heart - dealing with hardcore poor children. I hope to learn a thing or two from this man. Although I cannot implement exactly the same thing ("his children" are centered in one district while "my children" are scattered all over Perak), who knows, I may still be able to use his system as a guide to plan something in future.

Thirdly, I was hoping I'd be able to bring any of "my children" to the event. My intention? Sofie's children. Saiful was the one at home today, and so when I asked Sofie if any of her children would like to follow me, Saiful immediately said yes. And although Ika was not at home, Sofie said usually if Saiful goes anywhere, Ika would want to follow too. Sofie herself doesn't feel fit yet to travel so far, but she has no objections if the children follow me. Besides, it will be a day trip, so neither Sofie nor myself have to worry about whom the kids will be spending the night with.

So yes, God-willing, I will bring Saiful and Ika with me to Kedah next weekend.