2222

At the end and/or beginning of each month, as usual, I’d be delivering groceries to the 2 families who monthly groceries are sponsored by a particular club until the end of this year.

I had initially wanted to visit Lin first on Thursday, but she said she’d be sending her daughter to KLIA – summer holidays are over for the daughter and so she needs to go back overseas where she is currently studying.

So I decided to deliver the groceries to Sofie’s house first. She had just started renting a new house early last week, and so this was my first visit to her new home. This time, the instruction given by Sofie was quite clear… unlike the instruction she gave during my visit to her old house, where she told me to find a house with a buaian hijau outside. :-)

I managed to get to Sofie’s house without any problems, and without using the GPS. Her place now is nearer to Ipoh, almost half the distance to the old house. Makes it much easier for me to visit.

The house, being a new house, of course looks a lot better. It is in fact better in many aspects – 2 bedrooms (as compared to just 1 in the old house), better drainage and no worries about water getting into the house during heavy rains.

The children, however, are still schooling at their old schools, which means they need to get up earlier and cannot go by bicycle like they did from their old home. Sofie will need to go to PPD Ipoh to transfer her children to nearby schools.

The rental rate is RM100 higher than the earlier house, but it’s worth it although for the moment budget is a bit tight for her. Sofie has been looking around for small time business opportunities – there are already a few stalls selling kuih including goreng pisang, one selling ais kacang but after scouting around, none sells burger. So yep, her plan is to set up a burger stall as her source of income. Despite her illnesses, despite her weaknesses, this woman got vision lah, I like… :-)

By 3.30 pm I made a move from Sofie’s house. Buddies board meeting was to be held at night, so I wanted to get home early to be able to get a rest before going out again for the meeting. We didn’t have a meeting last month because Mdm Chair wanted to do her terawikh prayers, while the vice-chair was on MC due to throat cancer. Despite discussing 2 months’ matters, I still managed to finish the meeting in about an hour. Just go straight to the point. No side-tracking!

Friday was Lin’s turn to be visited. After checking with her and finding out that she’d be coming home right after her daughter checks in for her flight, I told her I’d be coming on Friday afternoon. Only after I made that plan did 2 more appointments came – one was a business appointment (I need to earn an income too kan?), and the other was a meeting on the Men Against Violence campaign, of which I had been roped in to be in the organising committee.

So in the morning, after sending some documents/forms to our center (for further action by another volunteer), off I went to my former office. When I resigned from the company, my former boss had indicated that she’d still be passing some of the jobs to me – basically jobs which the staff aren’t experienced enough to do like projected financial statements and winding up jobs. When I went I thought I’d be getting a winding up job… only to find out that I was getting 2 winding up jobs! Alhamdulillah, rezeki…

Right after that appointment, I headed straight to the minimarket where I usually get the supply of groceries. The minimarket so happens to be near my former office.

After lunch and zohor prayer at home, off I headed to Lin’s house. It was raining earlier, but by the time I wanted to leave home, the rain had already stopped. But halfway to Lin’s house, it rained cats and dogs! Aduh, I was thinking, how la was I supposed to unload the groceries from my car in the heavy rain? I still drove on, hoping and praying at the same time that the rain would subside by the time I reached Lin’s house, or that it wasn’t raining at Lin’s house.

Alhamdulillah, prayer answered. The sky was dark when I reached Lin’s house, but it hadn’t rained yet. So unloading the groceries from my car wasn’t a problem. Better still, Lin’s son was home, and so he helped to carry down the stuff.

I just had a short chat with Lin. There was a meeting I needed to attend after that, so I quickly made a move. I got to the meeting a bit late though (I had told the chairperson of the organising meeting earlier that I may be late because I already had other plans outside of Ipoh). Coincidentally, when I reached Ipoh, I had to pass through a route full of traffic lights, and as luck would have had it, every time I reached the traffic lights, the lights went red…

I got to the meeting half an hour late, but when I walked in, they had actually just started  the meeting. So I wasn’t really late at all! Well, plans are now finalised, the Men Against Violence (MAV) campaign will officially be launched by the Mentri Besar of Perak at Ipoh Polo Ground on Sunday, 31st October 2010. Do come and support the programme! I will post more details later.

So, what has the subject 2222 got to do with this posting?

Within these 2 days, I delivered groceries to 2 families, attended 2 meetings and got 2 winding up jobs… :-)

Clinic Duty and Raya Visit Round 2

I was on clinic duty again today, and this time I went a wee bit early with the hope of getting a proper parking space without having to go around the hospital a few rounds.

Well yes, I did get a proper parking space at a parking lot nearer to the Pusat Rawatan Harian, but much further to the specialist clinic where I was heading. But then, walking is a good form of exercise, no?

Immediately upon arrival I headed straight to the doctor’s room to check with the nurse if there were any new cases to be referred today. There were supposed to be three, but none of them were there yet. So I just waited at the usual room, took out my netbook computer and did some work. Meanwhile I also observed the PLHIVs being counseled about their ARV by the pharmacists with whom we were sharing the room.

At one time a lady came in with her 7 year old son. While the mother sat at the table where the pharmacists were, the son was more interested to sit at the chair beside mine, since I was at that time using my netbook computer.

Boy: “I want to play your computer can or not?”

Me: “Cannot, I want to do some work.”

Boy: “Got game or not? I want to play.”

Me: “No, no game. I use this computer to work, not to play.”

Boy: “I press ah?” (then put his fingers on the enter key)

Me: “Don’t. I want to work, ok?”

Boy: “If I press, then?”

Me: (make donno)

Boy: “If I press, THEN WHAAAT?” (then he started pressing a few keys on the keyboard)

I gave him my usually deadly stare, but it didn’t seem to work with him. Luckily the pharmacists were done counseling his mother, it was time for them to leave the room. But before they left, the boy pointed to my tudung and said, “Why you wear like that one? Take out la!”

Aiyo, this boy… luckily his mother is not one of our clients, otherwise whoever becomes the buddy would probably have their patience tested whenever he/she visits them at their home!

Anyway, although there were supposed to be 3 new cases, only 2 came. One, a young Malay guy, an ex-IVDU. Although it was his first appointment at Ipoh GH, his case wasn’t really a new case. He had earlier done his follow-ups in KL and only recently moved to Perak and had his appointments transferred to Ipoh. So, there was not much I needed to explain to him as he had already gone through all the explanations before.

The other case was of a single Chinese lady in her thirties. She went to do her full blood tests recently, and it was then she found out that she had been infected. She suspects she must have got infected by her previous boyfriend as she couldn’t think of any other way she could have been infected.

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Yesterday I went for round 2 of my raya visits. The 3rd family on my list… Lin’s. I had already bought 3 hampers on Monday, one delivered to Fuzi, one to Sofie, and the 3rd one was meant for Lin. This time I decided to go in the morning. As I reached her house at about 10 am, her 2nd daughter (the one studying medic overseas) was outside hanging her laundry.

“Baru mandi ke?”, I asked.

“Hehe… belum lagi pun!” she replied, and then went inside for her bath.

Only 2 of Lin’s 6 children were home. No. 1 and no.3 were back in Klang Valley where they’re currently studying. No. 5 and 6 were in school. No. 2, the daughter whom I met oustide, is due to go back overseas soon. No. 4, Lin’s 18 year old son, was all ready to go to work, but he was waiting for his boss to come fetch him. (Waaah, class gitu, nak pergi kerja boss yang datang ambik!)

While Lin’s first 3 daughters did quite well in their studies, her son didn’t seem to do well. When he was in form 5, he was more interested to lepak with his friends. Lin had quite a tough time trying to discipline this son. But I was happy to note that the boy had improved quite a lot in his attitude. Despite not doing too well in his SPM, he managed to get a job and seemed keen. Maybe he has finally found something that interests him. And unlike during my previous visits when he’d just stay away, this time he was more talkative. Hmmm… big improvement I must say. His other siblings had always welcomed me to their home, and now with the changes I see in this boy, I felt even more comfortable visiting them.

Lin had been working hard during fasting month, sewing clothes especially for neighbors. In fact, some were begging her to do some last minute alterations, or to accept last minute orders.

With her no. 1 and 3 expected to finish their studies by next year, I believe Lin’s financial worries should be over in the near future. Her first 3 daughters had always been supportive of her all along and after knowing them for more than a year, I believe they will help their mother and younger siblings financially once they can get themselves a job. I look forward to the day when Lin’s wellbeing is taken care by her children instead of her having to worry about their wellbeing.

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Tomorrow I plan to visit another family, and on Friday 2 more families…

Schooling opportunity

After a three day break from my voluntary work, today I went over to Lin’s house to send this month’s supply of groceries.

And since I wasn’t rushing to go anywhere else after that, today I had ample time to chat with Lin. And so we were chatting about herself and her past.

You know, all the while I thought Lin had at least completed her SPM. She’s quite a smart lady, I must say. The way she handles situations had been quite commendable.

Today I found out that Lin had only completed primary school. Well, she did go to form one for a short while despite her family’s financial difficulties. They couldn’t afford to buy her school uniform, so she used a pinafore handed to her by a neighbour. The pinafore was rather big for her, but having no other choice, she wore it anyway. As for the white blouse underneath the pinafore, Lin wore the same white (but no so white anymore) blouse she had been using in primary school. So there she was, wearing a blouse a few sizes too small and a pinafore a few sized too big.

That wasn’t a problem for Lin. Her problem started when her teacher started asking for the students to pay up their fees. After a while Lin became embarrassed to go to school as she had not paid her fees, and so she stopped schooling ever since. Yep, as simple as that.

She was too young to get herself a job, and so she just stayed home helping her mother. At 17 she started working at a small private soy sauce factory nearby, and at 18 she got married to none other than Mr Darling. And she was an obedient stay-at-home wife, seldom going out anywhere.

So it really amazed me that after her divorce she didn’t just wait for people to come and help her. She went out to find ways and means to earn an income for her family. She wanted her children to go to school despite she herself not having the opportunity to be in secondary school. She saw the importance of education for her children’s future.

Her 3 elder daughters I must say, had been very supportive. Even though they are all still studying in higher learning institutions and cannot afford to help out financially yet, they had always been Lin’s pillars of strength.

Now only her 2 younger children (15 & 13) are at school. And they are both being covered by our sponsorship program and so at least Lin doesn’t have to worry about her children’s schooling needs.

I just hope the children will not waste the opportunity given to them.

The opportunity of going to school is something we tend to take for granted. Let’s not forget that there are people out there who were never given the same opportunity. Let’s make sure people like Lin’s children are not deprived of their rights to go to school. Let’s not just allow them to inherit the poverty their mother inherited from her parents.

Let’s make sure these children go to school and complete at least form 5.

Updates…

Halimah & her baby…

I called up Halimah last week to find out when next she’d be coming to Ipoh next for her hospital appointments. Since I got a box of baby’s stuff recently from a donor, I was thinking maybe I’d send her home together with the stuff. Her kampong is not listed in my GPS.

I was taken by surprise when she mentioned that while she went home about a week after delivery, her baby was still at the hospital since born (that was about 3 weeks ago).

“Tak dok hospital tunggu anak ke?” I asked.

“Saya dalam pantang kak.”

Laa… for the last 2 weeks she just let the nurses take care of her baby. She didn’t even visit.

Anyway, pantang or no pantang, she had to come for her appointment at Ipoh GH yesterday. I told her to call me when she’s in Ipoh.

So yes, yesterday afternoon she called me from the hospital, at the baby’s ward. This time she’d be staying at the hospital with the baby. Finally! Only parents are allowed in, so no point visiting. I told her to inform me when she’s going home so I can send her the box of baby’s stuff that I have. I didn’t offer to send her home though… in case I’m not free then. But I do hope I will be able to send the box of baby’s stuff to her soon, I need more space in my room (to dump other stuff??)…

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Lin and her surgery

Remember I mentioned about Lin having to undergo a surgery to remove her fibroid? Well, she’s supposed to be hospitalised today and the surgery is supposed to be tomorrow. But when I went to visit her last week, she told me she was scared and was thinking of postponing the surgery. She said she wanted to try other methods first (not bomoh I hope!) to reduce the size of the thing. If that doesn’t work, THEN she’d go for the surgery. I told her that if indeed she decided to postpone the surgery, she’d better inform the doctors ASAP.

I called her yesterday to find out her decision and whaddaya know… she did postpone/cancel it. I bet she must have slept better last night! Her next appointment will be in June though… so let’s see if her “other method” works before the next appointment!

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Mrs K and her children’s bus fares

Mrs K’s 2 schooling children’s bus fares are covered by our Children Education Fund. Since I don’t trust them with cash (based on past expreriences with the family), instead of banking in the money into Mrs K’s bank account, I told her to get me the bank account of the bus driver, and yeah, I got the account details. And since I don’t want to go through the trouble of having to go to the bank every month to bank in the money, or to transfer the amount online every month (I may forget), I decided to do so via standing instructions to the bank. Every 1st of the month, the needed amount will be automatically transferred to the bus driver’s account. Which means there is no bank-in slip for Mrs K to show to the bus driver as proof that the amount has been paid.

Well, 2 days ago, I got a text message from Mrs K, saying the bus driver insisted that she show him the bank in slip as proof that the bus fares had indeed been banked in. He doesn’t have time to go check at the bank. I don’t know what Mrs K told him, but it seems the bus driver didn’t believe her. I told Mrs K to get him to call me direct.

The bus driver called me during my asar prayer… and so I didn’t answer the call. So he immediately called Mrs K and scolded her for lying to him. Well, after my prayer, I saw there were 2 missed calls from the same number. Although I don’t usually return calls to unfamiliar numbers, I figured it could be the bus driver. So I called back, and yes, it was him indeed. I explained to him the whole thing, about the children’s bus fares being covered by my NGO, how and when the money is transferred to his bank account etc. I told him that I didn’t want to give cash to Mrs K as I wanted to be sure the money is indeed used to pay the bus fares.

The bus driver didn’t sound as rude as Mrs K had described him to be. Probably like me, he too didn’t trust Mrs K and only believed the story after talking to me.

Looks like I’m not the only one who doesn’t trust her.

Berkhidmat untuk agama, bangsa & negara?

I had initially promised the lady from the club sponsoring groceries for Lin’s and Sofie’s families that I’d meet up with her at the minimarket at 2.30 pm today when I get the stuff to be delivered to Lin. However, by noon she said she couldn’t make it that early and would only be able to make it after 4 pm. So I figured I might as well just get the groceries and deliver them to Lin; and then go back to the minimarket to take photos to be shown during the club’s AGM next month.

Earlier in the morning I had given the list of groceries to the minimarket owner. Lin had informed me that she still had some of the stuff sent last month, and asked if I could replace those stuff with other things. So yeah, I took out the things which she still has, and added some other things. I noticed vermicelli was not included in the list for the past 2 months, so that was one of the things added to the new list. I didn’t mention the quantity lah… little did I know that there would be enough vermicelli for a party!!

Anyway, right after all the items were put in my car, I immediately headed to Lin’s house. I had told her earlier I’d be coming today. She is, after all, no longer selling pisang goreng (please refer my earlier story here for the reason) so she should be home.

Her youngest daughter was in school but her 15 year old son was home, so he helped to carry all the stuff from my car. I asked where her older son was… Lin said he just started work about 2 weeks ago in another town. Great! Even better still, according to Lin, while usually he couldn’t care less whatever happened to his mom when he was home, now that he’s staying elsewhere, he calls to ask how she’s doing. Ibu manalah yang tak suka…

Lin is supposed to undergo a fibroid operation in a week’s time; but when I asked her today, she said, “Saya rasa saya nak tangguh dulu lah kak.”

“Kenapa pulak nak tangguh?!”

“Saya takutlah kak…”

“Habis tu, kalau tangguh engko ingat boleh hilang takut tu ke?”

I told Lin about the many ladies I knew who had undergone the same surgery and how good they are doing now. While I encouraged her to just go through the op, I told her it was up to her to decide, but since the hospital had already fixed a date next week, if indeed she decides to postpone, she’d better inform the doctors soon!

On another note, I was happy to note that Lin is beginning to get monthly financial assistance from the agency dealing with zakat. What I wasn’t happy about was what she had to go through to get it.

Lin had actually submitted her application more than a year ago. I remember during one of my visits to her house, she did mention that she had to “buat muka tak malu minta bantuan” after she was hospitalised for a month and lost her job because of that. Having been too dependent on her ex-husband before this, Lin had to actually start from scratch to make a living.

Back to the application, Lin would from time to time enquire about her application to the officers, the same standard answer she got was, “Benda ni memang lambat. Mungkin dalam setahun baru lulus.” When it was already a year and she’d enquire again, the answer was, “Oh, setahun pun belum tentu puan.”

Coincidentally one fine day, a newspaper reporter happened to be interviewing the guy who allowed Lin to share his drinks stall for her pisang goreng business. Since the interview was done at the stall, the guy told the reporter that Lin too needed to voice out some problems and so the reporter agreed to interview her too. All Lin wanted to know was the status of her application. So yeah, Lin’s story was published in the newspaper, and the very next day, the top officer at the agency visited Lin personally at her stall, and told her to come to their office. Lin went to their office, and one of the lower ranking staff dealing direct with the public, asked her to fill in another form as they had lost her earlier application. Then suddenly another staff came along and told them that he had found her form, together with all the supporting documents including the letter from the doctor. Duh! No wonder things didn’t get moving!

Not long after that, Lin got a letter saying that her application had been approved and that she’d be getting a certain amount each month. Alhamdulillah, Lin was happy that at least she has some additional income to support her family. The letter gave her high hopes.

After a month, there was nothing yet. She went to the office to ask, and was told to just be patient. After 2 months, she enquired again… still nothing. By then Lin had some additional health problems and was told by the doctor to take a good rest. She had to take a break from her business. And by the time she wanted to start back her business, the guy who had earlier allowed her to share the stall, told her he wanted the space back for his own business.

Lin began to get worried about how to pay for house rental, utilities and other basic needs. It had almost been 3 months since she got the approval letter and she had yet to receive any cash. Then she remembered she had kept the phone number of the reporter who interviewed her earlier. So she called the reporter, not to ask for the matter to be published in the newspaper again, but to seek her help if she could make a call to the higher ranking officer to enquire. What Lin didn’t know was that the reporter ended up having the matter published in the newspaper again!

And whaddaya know… the very next day Lin received a call from the people at the agency. One of the guys asked her why she had her story in the papers again – Lin herself was surprised upon hearing that. But anyway, she was told by one of the higher ranking officers to come to their office the next day.

Lin went, and was told that the particular officer was out. There was only one guy manning the counter then and when he somehow figured Lin was the woman mentioned in the papers, the guy said, “Ohh… akaklah yang keluarkan cerita dalam suratkhabar tu ya?!”

Lin told him she didn’t know anything about the newspaper report, to which he responded, “Eleh… sudahlah kak! Kalau bukan akak yang bagi izin keluarkan cerita tu, takkan keluar dalam suratkhabar punya!”

Officer: “Ni hah, surat ni kan dah sebut bantuan akak dah lulus. Apa lagi akak nak?”

Lin: “Saya tak kata pun bantuan saya tak lulus. Saya cuma nak tahu bila boleh mula dapat bantuannya!”

Officer: “Akak ingat akak sorang je yang susah? Yang perlu bantuan?!”

Lin: “Saya tak kata pun saya sorang je yang susah!”

Officer: “Ah sudahlah kak, baik akak balik aje!”

By this time, Lin’s tears were already flowing. But she refused to budge from the office. She was there because someone from the office told her to come.

Officer: “Balik ajelah kak. Kalau tak nanti saya repot polis nak?”

Lin: “Repotlah. Hantar saya masuk penjara. Tapi nanti kamu tolonglah bagi makan anak saya 6 orang tu!”

Officer: “Akak tau tak, kami boleh saman akak tau, pasal keluarkan cerita bukan-bukan pasal kami dalam suratkhabar tu?”

Lin: “Hah, samanlah. Bukannya saya mampu nak bayar pun. Lagipun bukan saya yang suruh keluarkan cerita tu kat suratkhabar!”

Officer: “Ah! Sudahlah! Kalau bukan akak yang buat cerita, tak keluar suratkhabar nya!”

Despite the tears in her eyes, and despite the fact that Lin is a very sensitive person, Lin persisted. She had the phone number of the reporter kept in her phone, and so there and then she called the reporter. The reporter, upon hearing the tone of Lin’s voice (Lin was crying), and upon being told the problem, told Lin not to go anywhere and to wait for her at the office. The reporter coincidentally was on her way to cover an assignment nearby and decided to stop by the office to help Lin out.

The officer heard the conversation. The moment he found out that the reporter was coming, he immediately went in, and came out again with a form to be filled in and signed by Lin, before releasing the cash to Lin. YA AMPUUN!! The cash was already there! When the higher ranking officer asked Lin to come to the office, it was to get her monthly aid. This particular officer at the counter however, made life miserable for Lin just because Lin was the woman mentioned in the newspaper, giving a bad name to the agency (and probably getting him a scolding from the higher up officers). Imagine if Lin had actually gone back the first time the officer told her to!

Anyway, within 15 minutes, the reporter arrived at the office. When asked by the reporter why he scolded Lin, the officer denied everything – right in front of Lin’s face!

Lin: “Yang tadi awak marah saya suruh saya balik tu apa?”

Officer: “Eh, mana ada?”

Adoi, geramnya akuuuuu… but ah well, you don’t expect the reporter to believe him, do you?

I guess initially the officer didn’t expect Lin to be contacting the reporter direct. And at that time, other officers were not in the office, so he thought he was in power lah kot! The moment he knew the reporter was coming, he probably got worried that another negative news would come out in the next day’s papers, so he immediately turned helpful!

Well, the next time Lin went to the office, the same officer entertained Lin, and this time, he was nice to Lin. He even asked when Lin would have to undergo her operation.

Alright… so you get entertained only when you know the right people huh?

Sheeesh! To think that he’s actually PAID to do the job!

PhD in business

I was on clinic duty again this morning. As I got into the hospital compounds, I saw 2 hospital security and 2 policemen at the parking lot near the specialist clinic. Apparently some idiot couldn’t find a nearby parking space, didn’t want to park any further and so simply parked the car in the middle of the car park – blocking at least 4 properly parked cars from getting out. I didn’t see the idiot who parked the car there, but I sure hope they towed the car away! Baru padan muka. Kalau ya pun nak cari jalan mudah, janganlah menyusahkan orang!

At the HIV clinic, there were supposed to be 3 new cases to be referred to us today, but only one turned up – an ex-IVDU who is undergoing methadone treatment. His wife, who had been tested negative, came along. They don’t have any children, and they seemed to be coping well.

That was it. Nothing exciting at the clinic today.

Remember I had planned to visit Lin before my Kuching trip but ended up visiting Sofie instead because Sofie had to be warded at the hospital? Well, yesterday I finally visited Lin to deliver this month’s supply of groceries for her family. I had taken the supply of groceries from the minimarket on Monday afternoon as I planned to visit Lin the next morning before going to my office. I figured if I visited in the afternoon, she’d be at her pisang goreng stall and it would be a problem for her to carry all the stuff back home on her motorbike.

So yes, I went to visit her in the morning. The house was quiet. Rahim her son was in school, her daughter Marlia was asleep (afternoon session in school) while Lin herself was just lying down in bed waiting for her alarm to go off at 9 am – the time for her to take her ARV medication.

I then found out that Lin is no longer selling pisang goreng. It wouldn’t have been a problem had I visited in the afternoon after all.

So what happened? Why did Lin stop selling pisang goreng at the stall?

You see, during my groceries delivery to Lin last month, she was told by the doctor to have a good rest for one week due to her swollen wrist. Well, after that when she wanted to start selling again, the guy renting the space (Lin just tumpang his stall without paying any rent) told her he wanted the space back as he himself wanted to sell more than just drinks. There wasn’t much Lin could say as the stall wasn’t hers. So she went to tumpang another stall nearby for her pisang goreng business.

Then all the badmouthing started. The guy (the one who originally allowed Lin to use his drinks stall to sell pisang goreng) started saying out loud, “Bukan aku yang halau dia” and whatever other stuff implying that Lin was the “tak mengenang budi” type. Then he himself started selling exactly the same stuff that Lin was selling – pisang goreng, cucur udang etc.

I think what probably happened was that with Lin selling pisang goreng at his stall, more customers went to his stall. He was probably thinking that if he starts selling pisang goreng himself, he’d earn more income. So he told Lin he wanted the space back, without telling her what he intended to do. What he didn’t expect was that Lin managed to get another space nearby so soon before he managed to start anything at his stall. So he started badmouthing her, and immediately started selling the same stuff himself.

Not being the kind who wanted to get into trouble with other people, Lin gave in. It’s difficult if there is a competitor with a PhD (perasaan hasad dengki) in such a small business. And Lin didn’t want to risk the prospect of the guy finding out about her HIV and starts spreading the story to all and sundry.

So for the moment Lin is no longer selling pisang goreng at the usual place. She’s looking around for another place for her business, away from the PhD guy. But she may need to postpone her plan. Her appointment with the O&G specialist recently had confirmed her fibroid problem and the doctor had set a date for her to be operated in one month’s time. If Lin is to start her stall now, she will need to take a break in such a short time. So might as well settle her fibroid problem first.

Now Lin worries about the hospital payment. She asked the doctor for a black & white on the cost to be incurred so she could start asking around for financial assistance to cover her hospital bills. But the doctor told her not to worry about it – just go ahead with the operation and worry about payment later. “Bukannya mahal pun, tak sampai seratus”, added the doctor. Even tak sampai seratus is a whole lot of money for people like Lin, especially now that she has no source of income other than our Sponsorship programme for her children’s schooling, and the alimony from her ex-husband (which doesn’t necessarily gets paid on time). Thank goodness, this year she is getting the supply of groceries so at least she doesn’t have to worry about her children not having anything to eat. Judging from what I had delivered to her for the past 2 months – they should have enough supplies for the whole month while waiting for my next delivery. She’d better pray for my health as well so that I can ensure the groceries are delivered on time!

I told Lin not to worry about the hospital payments. There is ample time for me to arrange whatever documentation needed for her to be exempted from payment, just like the letter we managed to get for Halimah recently.

Lin’s only worry now is her house rental and utilities. No business this month, and she may need some time after her operation to recuperate before she can start thinking about how to generate income for the family. But ever since I knew Lin, never once did she attempt to beg or borrow any money… unlike “you know who” who kept on trying despite saying that “Kak Zah tu garang!”

Whatever it is, I hope Lin will be able to cope. I will keep a close watch on her.

The monthly delivery begins

As mentioned in one of my earlier postings, a particular charity club has agreed to sponsor monthly groceries for Sofie’s and Lin’s family. Yesterday, I finally got the go ahead from the lady in charge to start getting the stuff from a particular minimarket near my office and deliver the stuff to the respective families.

Since each family is getting RM300 worth of goods, I was not about to get the things for both families at one go. So this morning I told the minimarket owner that I’d be taking the stuff for the first family in the afternoon while for the next round for the second family, I’d come again on Saturday morning.

I decided to visit Lin first. I sent her a text message yesterday saying that I’d be coming today to her pisang goreng stall. She replied, asking me to come to her home because she had not been doing any business for the past 3 days as advised by the doctor.

This afternoon, I went over to the minimarket, stuffed my Kenari with rice, sugar, cooking oil, flour, milk, canned food, anchovies, onion, garlic, dried chilly, eggs, soap, laundry detergent and whatever other goods prepared by the minimarket owner, then off I headed to Lin’s house for this month’s McPi McDelivery!

The moment Lin opened the door, I saw her right wrist in bandage. She had been feeling some pain at her right wrist for some time already, but since to her “takda kerja” means “takda gaji”, she went on with her daily routine at her pisang goreng stall. That was until last Friday when she wanted to do something in her kitchen and she suddenly felt a sharp pain. After that her wrist became somewhat swollen and the pain became more and more unbearable, so she sought the help of a friend to bring her to the hospital. Done the x-ray, nope, no broken bone. The doctor just bandaged her wrist, gave her some pills and told her to take a complete rest for at least a week.

“Doctor bagi surat cuti tak ni?” I teased Lin. “Kalau ada pun saya nak bagi kat siapa?” Lin replied, laughing away.

I guess the delivery of the groceries couldn’t come at a better time! Lin may miss one week’s worth of pisang goreng sales, but today she got one month’s worth of groceries, more than what she used to buy.

And oh, remember the last time I brought them shopping for schooling needs… her youngest daughter Marlia was not around because she was enjoying herself at her paternal grandma’s house? Well, apparently their father, Mr Darling, had bought Marlia’s school uniforms etc but didn’t bother to buy anything for Rahim, Marlia’s older brother. When Marlia finally returned home, she showed off all the new school stuff their father had bought for her, just to make him jealous. How do you think Rahim must have felt? Well, Rahim didn’t want to lose out either. He went to his room, took out all the stuff bought for him when I brought them shopping, and it was his turn to show off to his little sister, “Alaaa… tak heran lah. Makcik Afizah hari tu belikan untuk abang lagi mahal lah!” Hehehe… it was Rahim’s turn to make Marlia jealous.

Anyway, amongst the excuses Mr D gave to Lin when he was late in giving her the monthly alimony, was that he was short of cash after having to buy all the school stuff for Marlia. So I conspired with Lin… I told her to get the receipts for all the school stuff Mr D bought for Marlia, and since both Rahim and Marlia are under our sponsorship programme, I’d reimburse LIN with the exact amount Mr D had spent.

Guess what? Lin did manage to get the receipts (and whaddaya know, the supermarket where Mr D bought the stuff is called Pasaraya Borong Sakan!”) totalling RM145. And so today I reimbursed Lin with that amount. At least that will cover part of the alimony she’s supposed to get from Mr D. But of course, it’s hush hush lah… Mr D doesn’t know anything, otherwise he won’t pay the alimony at all!

I think Marlia must have been pampered when she went to stay with her paternal grandma during the last school holidays. Chances are, to jaga hati, whatever she asked for, she got. When school reopened recently she was pestering Lin, saying she wanted to go stay with either her father or her grandma. And the girl kept on pestering even when Lin was busy at her pisang goreng stall. I think Marlia was just trying her luck with her mother, who knows, maybe if her mother didn’t want Marlia to stay with the father, then she (Lin) would more easily give in to Marlia’s other requests.

Well, it didn’t work out that way. Lin of course wanted Marlia to stay with her, but she got so fed-up, she picked up her phone, and right in front of Marlia she called Mr D, telling him to come fetch Marlia after work so Marlia could stay with him. “12 tahun saya jaga dia, dia dah tak nak dok dengan saya. Abang ambillah dia, tukar sekolah semua sana terus, senang cerita!”

Mr D got worried. I don’t think he worried that Lin got mad – he worried that if Marlia stays with him, he’d have to spend more monthly. He seems to spend a lot on his present wife and step-daughter, and so having Marlia staying with him may trouble him even more financially. The older children who visit their father from time to time, always come back reporting to their mother, “Kita dulu kalau makan, satu lauk aje. Dengan mem baru ni, berderet lauk…”

After that incident (the call from Lin asking him to fetch Marlia), Mr D didn’t answer anymore calls coming from Lin or any of his children. When his 3rd daughter tried to call him to get a copy of his salary slip (for scholarship application purposes), he didn’t answer either. The daughter finally sent him a text message, and a few days later the reply came, telling the daughter that he left his salary slip on the TV set at their Opah’s house.

He seems to avoid meeting the children. (hmmm… must have been lectured by present wife for spending so much on Marlia already!) But you know what? His 3 older daughters are all already in higher learning institutions, including one studying overseas. In a few years time, they’ll be working. I betcha it will be Mr D who’d be wanting to see his children more often then…

Shopping for schooling needs – Round 5

I promised Lin I’d fetch her and her 2 schooling children to shop for their schooling needs today. This morning while I was still at my office I called her up to ask if I should fetch her at home or at her goreng pisang stall. She told me her stall is closed for today, so I should fetch them at home.

I got to Lin’s house at 3 pm – on the dot. After I honked, I saw Lin coming out with a girl. At first I thought the girl was Marlia, Lin’s youngest daughter, but when I looked again, eh… lain pulak muka! After a while, Rahim, Lin’s son came out. When they got into my car, Lin introduced the girl as her niece who spent time at her house during the school holidays. Lin’s brother (the girl’s father) knew about my role and so it wasn’t a problem for the girl to tag along as she knew me as the lady from the charitable organisation helping Lin’s family out.

But Marlia was not around. She was still at her Opah’s kampong house. She was supposed to be back on Sunday (yesterday) but with so many cousins around, she postponed it to this coming weekend. When Lin called her last night to inform her that Makcik Afizah would bring them shopping for their schooling needs today, her reaction was, “Alaaaa…. NAK IKUT!” But I wasn’t about to postpone my plan just because she was not back, so today we went ahead without Marlia. Marlia’s father had already bought her school uniforms and work/exercise books from school, but had yet to buy her shoes, school bag and other stationeries.

So today we just went to buy uniforms, school bag and a pair of school shoes for Rahim and stationeries for both Rahim and Marlia. Although Marlia did mention what type of school bag she wanted and what size her shoes were, we figured it’s better for Lin to wait for Marlia to come back and let her choose her own bag and shoes, and then Lin would submit the receipts to me so I could reimburse her.

Well, I think I’m done with shopping for schooling needs  for this year. Next year is just a few days away anyway. There are still a few families who have yet to submit their claims to me, but at least I’m not the one who has to bring them out shopping…

Anyway, I was informed by Lin that her ex-hubby, Mr Darling has begun to slack in paying the monthly alimony of RM300 ordered by the court. He’s either paying it late, or less; giving all sorts of excuses. His present father-in-law got sick and he needed to spend extra lah (that’s not Lin’s problem is it?), he had bought Marlia’s uniforms and workbooks lah (isn’t that his responsibility? That shouldn’t be deducted from the alimony!).

So guess what? I told Lin to do a few things…

1. Since Mr Darling works with a government agency, I told Lin to arrange for the alimony to be automatically deducted from his salary. At least he cannot give any more excuses such as the above.

2. I got Lin to give me the whole list of Marlia’s schooling needs that had been paid for by Mr Darling so I could reimburse Lin with the money. At least it would cover for the alimony that he’s not paying her.

3. I told Lin to remind her children NEVER to inform their father that they are getting financial help for their schooling needs. If he finds out, chances are he’d leave his children’s financial needs totally to our care!

Another reason for Lin to arrange for the alimony to be deducted from Mr Darling’s salary is to save him the trouble of having to come over to send the money to Lin. In the first place, even without salary deduction, all he needed to do was to bank in the money into Lin’s bank account. But he’s not doing that. The salary deduction may also save Lin the trouble of having Mr Darling come over to the house, sometimes at odd hours. He recently came over at night to give October’s alimony – knowing pretty well that his 2 younger children were at their Opah’s kampong house. Luckily their 18 year old son was home, so at least Lin was not alone. But since he came at night, Lin was already in her sleep clothes (her baju kelawar).

Not wanting to let Mr Darling in, Lin just stood at the door to take the money from him. Lin didn’t realise that with the light from inside her house, and Mr Darling outside in the dark, her baju kelawar was rather see-through. And Mr Darling had the cheek to say, “Jaranglah baju. Tak tahan tengok.”

Gatal punya jantan! Dah ada bini baru pun masih tak hilang miang lagi!

Banana delivery!

I went to visit Lin yesterday. After my usual Saturday pasar tani routine, I called to ask where she'd be around 3 pm as I wanted to drop by. Since she said she'd be at her stall, I told her I'd go straight to the stall.

I then immediately carried some pisang abu (2 tandan!!) into my car, although I planned to go later in the afternoon. You see, I didn't want to be carrying the bananas after I got ready - nanti kotor lah baju!

Yes, Lin is the one who now sells goreng pisang to earn an income for her family. I like her attitude. She applied for welfare and Baitulmal aid, so far nothing. But she doesn't wait for help to come her way. She finds ways and means to earn some money to support her children.

Oh yes, so far she's still getting the monthly alimony of RM300 from her ex-husband (that's Mr Darling - in case you have forgotten) but there are already signs that the said amount may only come in when pestered. Mr Darling himself told his children that his present wife doesn't like him seeing his children so often. She wants him to concentrate more on HER child who, according to her, needs more attention. Itulah... siapa suruh pi cari beban...

I told Lin to arrange with the pejabat agama for the alimony to be deducted direct from Mr Darling's salary since he is a government servant. Lin hopes to do so soon.

Anyway, business seemed to be doing well when I was at Lin's stall today. I sat at a table nearest to where she fries the bananas, facing her, so we could talk while she works. Meanwhile I ordered air kelapa from the stall she's sharing with.

When I saw she was a bit free, I told her to get the air kelapa guys to help get the bananas from my car. Nope, I didn't want to get my clothes dirty.

As I continued chatting with Lin, her 12 year old daughter came. She didn't argue a bit when Lin told her to show me her latest school exam results. The girl knew I'd need to send reports to her sponsor as she's covered under our Education Sponsorship for Children programme. 2B's and a string of C's. Lin had gone to see her school teacher earlier and due to the drop in the girl's performance, the teacher had asked if Lin could help out the girl when she studies or does her homework at home.

It's not that Lin doesn't want to help out with her children's studies. The question is... when can she do that? Daytime every day, she's at her goreng pisang stall as that's her only source of income. Night time, once she takes her ARV medication at 9 pm, within minutes she'd go into dreamland no matter how hard she tries to stay awake. As Lin herself mentioned, "Lepas pukul 9 malam, dah tak boleh pakai dah saya ni!"

So yes, when and how can she pay more attention to her children's studies? Tuition? Well, somehow the girl's school conducts tuition at night - which is not practical for the girl. Lin was not about to let her girl go to school alone at night, it's dangerous! Lin herself who is always knocked out by 9 pm, won't be able to send and fetch the girl from school. So, to them the school tuition was not an option.

I told Lin to ask around on the rates if the girl goes for private tuition near their place. I may be able to get the amount covered by her sponsorship money. Otherwise when Lin's second daughter comes back from overseas for holidays in August, she will need to give intensive revision course for her younger sister before her UPSR.

Why on earth does the school conduct tuition at night anyway? It may not be a problem for parents who can send and fetch their children from school, but the needs of people like Lin and her children need to be considered too!

Updates on Lin & Baby K

I was just about to park my car near my office this morning when I heard the SMS tone from my hand phone. I ignored it until I got to my office. The message came from Lin...

"Kak, kalau CD4 saya OK, nak bagitau doktor ke pasal saya tak makan ubat?"

I told her to tell the whole truth to the doctor. Otherwise, the doctor may think she has no problem whatsoever with the present ARV medication.

About 12.15 pm, I texted Lin, asking if she was done at the HIV clinic. She replied, saying that she's just waiting for whatever documents - drug prescriptions, and next appointment dates, etc. So I told her to wait at the waiting area in front of the Klinik Pakar once she was done. I would be leaving my office at 12.45 pm and should reach there in 10 or 15 minutes.

When I got to the hospital, I didn't see Lin at the waiting area. There was no available parking space nearby, so I waited a while behind one of the cars and tried calling her. My call couldn't get through. Tried a few times with the same result. So I decided to go one more round. By the time I got to the front again, Lin was still not there. I tried calling Lin again, and again the call couldn't get through. Apparently at certain areas at the Klinik Pakar, the reception may not be clear or there may be no reception at all.

Finally I decided to park my car at the open area behind the hospital and go look for Lin. Had to carry along my laptop as it wouldn't be safe to leave the laptop in the car. As I reached the pharmacy I tried calling Lin again. This time my call went through...

"Lin kat mana ni?"

"Ada kat depan kat tempat akak suruh tunggu tu."

"Saya dah 2 kali lalu situ takde pun?"

"Baru sampai kak, baru lepas ambil ubat."

I told her to walk back to the pharmacy and meet me there. No point for me to walk all the way to the front and then walk back again to get back to my car.

"Semua dah settle?" I asked.

"Tak, nurse tu suruh pergi makan dulu, lepas tu datang balik jumpa dia dalam pukul 2.30."

There were quite a number of patients at the HIV clinic today, and the doctors were also late (probably had to go round the wards first), and so by lunch time, there were still a few pending cases. Although Lin had gone in to see the doctor, the staff were rather shorthanded to prepare all the letters etc. So they told her to go for lunch first and come back after that.

"Amacam? Dah puas kena bambu?" I teased Lin. She smiled, "Nasib baik mood depa baik hari ni. Taklah kena teruk sangat."

Besides, she told the truth before the doctor said anything, including the reason behind her fear (as mentioned in my previous posting), so SN ended up giving her a hug instead.

BUT... her CD4 had gone down drastically to 26. Oh dear, she definitely needs to start taking her medication now. And she promised me she will.

I then took Lin out for lunch. Took the opportunity to ask about herself and her children. Lin used to help out at her brother's food stall. Now she has started her own corner there, selling pisang goreng. Her brother encouraged her to do so - he couldn't afford to pay her more, and she should be able to earn more with her own pisang goreng stall. According to Lin, she gets her supply of pisang abu at the market nearby.

At least now I know what to bring her whenever I visit. There are banana trees behind my house, and sometimes we just leave the fruits on the trees to be eaten by the birds. There's not much that my mother and I can eat anyway, and quite a number of folks cannot tahan pisang abu... angin... so they say. If it's pisang tanduk or pisang asam, then my neighbours would be glad to have them. (Yes, I do know quite a few types of bananas, even the ones which are not available at my house, including pisang emas (bawa belayar?), pisang rastali, pisang awak & pisang nangka... and I also know pisang kaki but it's not a type of banana!)

There are times when I have an abundance of pisang abu at home. Now I know where to send them - and Lin can cut down a bit on costs when I get to do that!

It's good to know that there are people like Lin who at least makes an attempt to earn a living. I don't mind helping this kind of people. Unlike some people I know who depend totally on welfare aid... and complains when the welfare aid comes in late.

Yeah, if you had been reading this blog from the start, I'm sure you know who they are...

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And here's a little update on Baby K...

Mr & Mrs K brought the little girl for her second appointment at IJN earlier this week. The doctors have confirmed that the little hole-in-heart girl should be ready for surgery in November. The cost for the surgery is RM20K, but after appealing, the Yayasan IJN (I think) has agreed to cover RM19.5K, while the couple will have to fork out another RM500. I think the RM500 is just to make sure that the parents would at least make an attempt to contribute a minimal amount for the surgery.

Frankly, if it is up to them, I doubt they'd be able to come up with the RM500. They don't even have enough to cover their monthly expenses... always hutang here hutang there.

Well, I don't think there'd be any problem for me to get contributions of RM500 needed for Baby K - plus maybe an additional few hundreds for the guardians while they're there. Mrs K will definitely need to take leave from work. As such she will be earning less that month. Of course, I didn't tell Mr & Mrs K I'd try to find donors - if I did, they'd probably just goyang kaki from now until November. And if I do get the contributions now, I will only hand it over to them when it's time for the girl's surgery. If they get the money too early, they'd probably use it for other purposes and then go back to square one when the time comes for Baby K's surgery.

Tolong kak, saya takut...

I was relaxing at home watching TV on Monday night (I did mention in my previous posting that all I did on Monday was relaxing at home, didn't I?) when a text message came in. The SMS was from Lin - asking me if I'd be free on 22nd April and if I could accompany her at the hospital for her appointment.

Hmmm... she had gone for her hospital appointments for some time already, without needing anyone to accompany her... why would she need someone now?

Well, she was scared she may get a scolding from the doctor. Ahah, she must have been guilty of doing something she's not supposed to do then, right? Indeed...

"Saya takut kena marah sebab saya tak makan ubat."

No wonder lah, she had not been taking her ARV medication. Yes, she went to the hospital, got the supply of medication (expensive ones too!) but all the ARV drugs are left untouched at home. Why? Because she's scared.

Aiyo! Makan ubat also takut... doktor marah also takut... how lah like that?

Frankly, I do understand her fear of taking the medication. If you had read my posting here, you may remember that Lin had started taking her ARV medication last year, but she had severe allergies to the first combination of drugs given to her - resulting in swollen feet and bloated face and lips. It was so bad I almost didn't recognise her when I went to visit her at the hospital. She had to be hospitalised for about 3 weeks, and as a result, lost her job. The doctor stopped her medication for a while and only gave her a new combination of ARV drugs after she got better.

All these while I thought Lin had been taking her new combination of ARV medication religiously. As a matter of fact, during my last visit to her house, I asked her how her body was reacting to the new drugs. She said she was okay and there was no side effects. Now I know she lied. There was no side effect with this medication because she just kept them at home! The only side effect is that she is now afraid to face the doctor!

While I understand her fear of taking the medication, she should still have voiced out her fear - if not to the doctors, she could have voiced it out to me. She usually doesn't keep anything from me when I ask her anything. Then I remembered, when I last went to visit her and asked about her reaction to the new drugs, it was during our Sponsorship assessment visit. I brought along 2 other buddies with me to her house. (One of the criteria for the sponsorship assessment visit is that at least 2 committee members other than the buddy involved, need to come along. This is to ensure there'd be no biased assessments.)

Even when I told her earlier that I'd be bringing along 2 other volunteers to visit her at home, she was already worried. But since she needed the financial help for her children's educational needs, she relented. But to open up when there are 2 other "strangers" around, no way!

Lin came to Ipoh GH for her blood test last week. That was when she started worrying. Since she had not been taking her medication at all, she's afraid of the results of her blood test. If her CD4 is lower than before, definitely the doctors/pharmacists will ask if she had been compliant in taking her medication. She will only know of the results during her appointment.

Yes, Lin knows she's at fault. And she expects to get a scolding. But being the sensitive soul that she is, she is afraid she may break down and cry when the scolding comes. Which was why she asked if I could accompany her during her appointment. As I told her, if the doctors want to scold her, they'll still scold her anyway, with or without me around. Lin is well aware of that. She's hoping that at least she'd have someone around IF she ends up crying. Poor thing!

I already have prior appointments at the office tomorrow morning, so no, I can't accompany her. I told her to simply tell the truth to the doctor/pharmacist, and tell them too about her phobia due to the side effects of the first combination of ARV drugs given to her last year. I also promised to meet up with her in the afternoon, after her appointment. If she needs to talk it over, she can do so when we meet up in the afternoon, insyaAllah.

Let's see how it goes tomorrow...

Delivered...

...the talk... and the bikes... finally!

Yes, the talk to a group of UTP students who just registered this week. It's their Minggu Aluan Siswa, and the talk on HIV/AIDS was included in their programme, thanks to one of our volunteers who happen to be a staff of UTP.

When we were first informed about the programme, the talk was supposed to start at 9 am. So my initial plan was to go direct to UTP in the morning, and after the talk I'd drop by Lin's place on the way back to Ipoh to deliver the bicycles, and then go to my office as it is peak period in the office right now.

Then I was informed that our talk was rescheduled to 11 am. Alamak... kena tukar program. So I figured I might as well go to the office first, do some work first before heading to UTP, then on the way, I'd drop by Lin's place to drop off the bikes so when I go to UTP my car wouldn't look like a delivery van.

Suddenly yesterday evening, my colleague (the fellow volunteer who works in UTP) called me up and asked if it was okay with me if they changed the time to 10 am instead. Aduuuh... kena tukar program lagi! Thank goodness I do have flexi working hours, so okay, I agreed.

There were still some matters I needed to settle at the office, so I went to the office first and left the necessary instructions to the staff at the office. I left my office slightly before 9 am, although I knew it would take just slightly more than half an hour to reach UTP. I was afraid that if I had waited a bit longer, some business clients may drop by to see me, making it difficult for me to leave the office on time.

Just as I was leaving my office, I got a text message from my colleague, saying that the speakers who were supposed to give the talk before mine were running late, so I'd have to expect some delay. Whaddaheck I thought... I was about to leave my office anyway, I might as well just go ahead. Besides, I always prefer to be early when I have any appointments anywhere (unless I know for sure the person/s I have an appointment with are regulars at not being punctual!) so I'd have time for a breather before I start with whatever I'm supposed to do.

I didn't want to drop by Lin's place first as she did mention that usually in the mornings she'd help out her brother at his food stall. Besides, I had a tough time yesterday getting the bicycles into my car and arranging them so that I could close the back door! I didn't want to be struggling to get the bikes out of the car as fast as possible to rush to UTP, so might as well deliver them after the talk.

And so yes, I was early. While waiting for the 2nd talk (yes, mine was the 3rd talk for the day - why lah I always get to speak only when the students' brains are already filled with facts from too many talks... the last time that happened, the students (form 4 students) were sooo rowdy they didn't even bother to listen anymore!), I had a chat with my fellow volunteer and a few senior students who were in the Minggu Aluan Siswa organising committee. So I didn't really feel like I had to wait. To me it was just nice timing for me to relax first before the talk.

Then the time came for my talk, and as I entered the hall, I heard the emcee mention something like, "Announcing the arrival of ........" and then all the students stood up and they sat only after I sat on stage. Muahaha! Like VIP like that.... aiyo, we Buddies are soooo used to being so low profile and so casual, I must admit I did feel rather awkward. Luckily I was not wearing slippers... hehehe...

Despite that being the 3rd talk for the day and after a week of hectic activities for the newly registered students, and in addition to that, the students had to prepare for their freshie talent night this very night, I must commend the students for still paying attention when this makcik was up on stage presenting her facts. There were questions asked in relation to my presentation... which means they were indeed listening. It did amaze me though, when I asked them if anyone knew what vaginal microbiocides were, the girls were shaking their heads not knowing the answer but the "yes" answer came from the boys. Waaa... it's the female version of the condom and the boys knew better?? :)

During the Q&A, the questions came more from the boys. However, some of the questions were more medically/scientifically inclined, I definitely was not the right person to answer. I could only mention the findings of researches so far, no further then that. When finally one girl stood up to ask, she was given a round of applause. And she ended up as the only girl asking a question during the Q&A. The girls were shy I guess. I did tell them that they were welcomed to ask me questions personally outside the hall after the talk, and yes, a few of the girls did.

I didn't stay long after the talk. I did try to call a friend of mine who's also a UTP staff but her phone was off. So, I headed off for my next mission - to deliver the bicycles to Lin's house. It was about time I cleared the inside of my car which all the time while parked in UTP looked like this...

The inside of my Kenari... as seen from the back...

When I got to Lin's house, her 14 year old son, for whom one of the bikes was for, was outside. Great, I thought... there's someone to help me get the bikes out of my car!

When I told Lin earlier that I was going to deliver 2 bicycles, Lin was thinking I wouldn't be driving my Kenari. So when I got to her house and she saw my Kenari, she must have thought I brought only one bicycle. Then I opened the back door and she exclaimed, "Eh, MUAT??!"

Yes, the car may look rather compact, but I have been using this very same loyal old car to deliver lots of goodies, big and small, to the poor PLHIV families.

Of course, this morning when the bikes were in there, had I met with anyone who needed a ride, I wouldn't have been able to offer them the ride... not even at the front passenger seat.

I Got The Bikes!

No, not motorbikes. I bought the school bikes for Lin's 2 younger children...

 

2 readers responded to my earlier posting on my visit to Lin's house, where I mentioned that I'd need to find sponsors to buy bicycles for Lin's 2 school-going children. Not only were they quick in pledging to sponsor the bicycles, they were also quick to bank in the money. By Sunday, I had RM350 in my bank account - for me to buy the bikes.

And so yesterday, I went to buy them... and the 2 bikes in the pic above cost RM340. Got extra RM10 some more... so I think I'll include that in the funds that I usually use to buy groceries for the poor families.

Thank you very much to the 2 donors.

My task is not over yet, though. The above bikes are now temporarily placed in my NGO center. I will need to deliver them to Lin's house.

Buddies were invited to give a talk to a group of university students this coming Friday. Initially, another volunteer was supposed to give the talk as this month I am pretty tied up with office work. But he has some family matters to attend to, or more specifically, his elderly parents need more attention. Family comes first, so he's out. Another of our speakers has to be in KL on that day, again for some family matters, so she's out too. No choice, I had to reschedule my time-table to include the talk. Luckily the materials (slides in powerpoint) are readily available, courtesy of Malaysian Aids Council, all stored in my thumb drive; so at least I don't really have to prepare anything. Of course, I still need to go through the slides again before this Friday to make sure the powerpoint presentation still works fine. Who knows, the file may have been infected with viruses (not HIV of course - this one only infects humans!).

Anyway, I'm thinking of delivering the bicycles on my way back after the talk. Which means I will need to stack both bicycles into my Kenari, bring them all the way to the university, leave them in my car during the talk, and then go over to Lin's house after the talk to deliver them to the rightful recipients. Why not deliver the bicycles on the way TO the university, before the talk? You see, the talk is rather early in the morning, and I don't want to be late...

House Visits

After not having visited any of my PLHIV clients for more than a month, this week alone I managed to do 3 house visits. YAYYY!!

I’ve already posted the story on my visit to Lin’s place. Remember I mentioned in that posting that one of my tasks would be to look for donors to buy bicycles for Lin’s children? I posted the story on Wednesday – and by Thursday I’ve already got 2 people willing to sponsor the bicycles. By Friday one of them has already banked in the money while the other will do so soon. Thank you blog readers! I love you all!!

My next task will be to buy the bicycles – I hope to do so within next week. Will keep you all posted.

On Thursday I went to visit Zainab, whose house is quite nearby my office area. The door was wide open when I got there. Upon seeing me, Zainab immediately called out to the neighbour’s house, “Adiiik… balik! Makcik datang ni!” Her younger daughter, affectionately called Adik, was playing at the neighbour’s house, since her usual playmate, her older sister, affectionately called Kakak, was at school.

As mentioned in an earlier posting, Zainab who works at a factory, is affected by the global economy crisis as her working hours are now cut down and she gets to do much less overtime – which means she gets less income, when she actually needs more as Kakak starts schooling this year. Everything has to be bought as the girl has no older siblings or cousins to pass down old uniforms to her. I filled in the CEF (Children Education Fund) form for Kakak to lessen Zainab’s burden.

When I read the list/letter given by the school, I couldn’t help noticing in particular one sentence mentioning that they will be collecting another fee in April. They didn’t mention what fee or how much, they just mentioned it has to be paid in April. They have already collected all sorts of fee at the beginning of the year. What is this? I hear politicians talking about free education… yet this school will be collecting more fees come April. Free education my foot!!

Whatever it is, Zainab is still thankful she hasn’t lost her job. Although she had to spend quite a lot for Kakak’s schooling needs, she knows for a fact there are many people out there who are in a worse situation than hers.

Today, Saturday, I brought along 2 new volunteers to visit Fuzi and her children. Neither of the volunteers have done any house visits since they joined, so this was their first experience.

When we got to the house, I saw someone bathing naked outside the house. Woi… ni bukan x-rated posting lah. The one naked was Fuzi’s sweet looking 2 year old boy (he’ll be 3 this year) – playing at the tap right outside their back door which was by the side of the house so I could see him when I drove into the house compound. His hair has grown a bit longer now so he looks even sweeter than ever – my colleague at first thought he was a girl.

I had actually informed Fuzi earlier that I was coming today, and I told her to get ready all the necessary receipts and the results of her children’s exam results for last year, which I need in order to prepare the reports to be given to the individuals sponsoring her children under our Education Sponsorship for Children programme. I must say Fuzi was really organized this time around – everything was in order, all ready to be passed to me without me having to write down any details.

Fuzi however still has one big problem. Remember in one of my earlier postings I mentioned that her 2nd child faced no problem in getting her MyKad done because her Malaysian uncle came along when doing the necessary at the JPN office? The only problem earlier was that her first child had to resubmit her MyKad application as her earlier application was cancelled after more than a year.

Now it seems the 2nd child’s MyKad is ready, but when Fuzi resubmitted the 1st child’s application (again with the help of the uncle whom Fuzi had to pay to get him to go to JPN), JPN held back the 2nd child’s card. Now both of them are stuck and unable to get their MyKad. JPN still insists that Fuzi gets their citizenship status confirmed first at JPN Putrajaya. And the Putrajaya office on the other hand, wants Fuzi to legalize her marriage cert first at the Syariah Court.

And since her husband has died, the Syariah Court insists that Fuzi brings to court the 2 witnesses to the akad nikah in Narathiwat held more than 14 years ago. Otherwise, they wouldn’t legalize the cert. One of the witnesses is staying quite near but after consulting his family members, has refused to trouble himself to go to the Syariah Court to help Fuzi out. Not their problem, so they said. Subpoena? Can be done, but they warned Fuzi not to do that – otherwise they will make life difficult for her (as though life is not already difficult for Fuzi).

The other witness? He’s from another state near the border. This one we weren’t able to find. From the IC number written in the Narathiwat marriage cert, I can’t even be sure if this man is still alive – he’s even older than Fuzi’s late husband (who was elderly person himself!). And if he’s dead, forget the subpoena! (If he appears in court – the judge will run first!!)

So guess what? We’re back to square one!!

Oh dear…

Anyone out there has any suggestions on how to solve this matter? Anyone who knows who’s who in JPN Putrajaya? Fuzi doesn’t care anymore if her marriage cert doesn’t get legalized (her husband is dead anyway!) but she just wants her children to get their MyKad. For heaven’s sake, it is clearly stated in their birth cert that their father’s a Malaysian!!

Up till now, Fuzi has already paid quite a sum of money to people who claimed they would be able to help (despite me advising her against it). All she wanted was for her children to get their citizenship status confirmed. The money is long gone, but she is back where she started. It’s like playing snake and ladders but always sliding down the snake, never going up the ladder.

Please folks, is there any other option she can take?

Divorced... and so the children are no longer your responsibility, huh?

I finally managed to do my first house visit for this year.

After going to my NGO center and stuffing some groceries into my car (the groceries were donated by some good Samaritans), off I headed to Lin’s place. I sent her a text message to inform her I was on my way; just to be sure she’d be home. It took about half an hour to get to her place from Ipoh town.

Only Lin and her youngest daughter were home when I got there. Her 3 older daughters are all furthering their studies elsewhere – all under scholarship, alhamdulillah. Her 4th child, who’s also her eldest son, currently waiting for his SPM results, is seldom home. The 5th, also a boy, was in school (afternoon session).

It was when I was chatting with Lin when her son (the one waiting for results) came in, and after a while, left again. I asked Lin what her son was doing while waiting for his results to come out.

“Macam itu lah,” said Lin. “Bila lapar dia balik rumah. Dah kenyang dia keluar balik.”

Unlike his 3 older sisters who back then were all busy doing temporary jobs to earn extra income for the family, this boy prefers to lepak-lepak with his friends before the exam results are announced.

Lin had called me earlier, wanting to apply for our Children Education Fund to help out with her 2 younger children’s back-to-school needs. I am also submitting her application for our Sponsorship program, but this one will take some time as the sponsorship committee will need to do a house visit for assessment purposes, and once approved, we will need to find individual sponsors first.

But the children’s father is still alive, and working! Yep, their father, our dear Mr Darling! Well, apparently he only gave them money as and when he felt like it. Lin had to resort to bringing the matter to the Pejabat Agama. She didn’t bother to do that earlier because she was working then and as she said, “Tak nak cari gaduh.” But ever since she had to quit her last job when she was hospitalized, she was no longer earning any income for her family. If Mr Darling didn’t give anything, then his own children will not have enough to eat. But he only gave when the children asked – and even then he didn’t give much.

When Lin brought the matter to Pejabat Agama, Mr D scolded her. He said she could have just asked from him for the money. Yeah right! Even when they were both in front of the Ustaz to settle the matter and Lin was asking for nafkah for their 3 younger children, Mr D had the cheek to ask if he still had to pay for the older son who had just finished his SPM. Duh! The Ustaz told him straight in the face that even after his SPM, the son is still his responsibility. Maybe Mr D thinks that as long as the children don’t stay with him, they are not his responsibility.

Ahh yes, Mr D got married recently, didn’t he? That’s why his budget is quite tight. He needs to spend more on his new wife. So much so that he had been suggesting to Lin to seek help from welfare bodies. “Perempuan senang sikit dapat bantuan”, so he said. “Mintaklah dengan Buddies. Boleh dapat RM600 sebulan”, he added.

Waaah, so clever one! He expects Buddies to take over his responsibilities as the father, huh? Hello Mr konon-konon soft spoken guy! You were the one who gave HIV to Lin… the reason for her to be hospitalized recently, and causing her to lose her job, and now you expect others to take over YOUR responsibility as the father to your children??! Kirim salaaammm!!!

In the first place, other than our Children Education Fund meant only for children’s schooling, we don’t give out financial aid to our clients. We assist them to ask for financial aid elsewhere, yes, but we ourselves don’t give money to them. And RM600 a month? I wonder where he got the figure from!

My guess is his ex-gilafriend… oops, I mean ex-girlfriend… (YAH lah, who else!) had told him about the monthly aid she had been receiving from a particular anonymous donor. I had told her time and again the money was from an anonymous donor, not from Buddies, but every time she’d still be asking me when the money was going to be banked in.

Adoii, dah ada orang tolong tu pergi cerita pulak kat orang lain berapa dia dapat! Dok je lah diam-diam! I myself don’t know how much the donor gives – Mr D seems to know better!

Well, maybe the donor has stopped giving the monthly donation – because Yah called me recently and asked if she could apply for our CEF for her son as she didn’t have enough money to buy her son’s schooling needs. Frankly, I think it is better for us to consider her children for CEF and/or sponsorship. Since we control the money, at least we can be sure the money is only used for her children’s education – not for her to go karaoke-ing away!

But that’s a different story.

Back to Lin and Mr D, it was decided that Mr D is to give RM100 for each child – meaning he has to give a nafkah of RM300 per month to Lin. It is officially in black and white. But RM300/month is barely enough to buy basic necessities for her children and to pay for her utility bills. There is definitely not enough to spare for her children’s back-to-school expenses. So Lin has to look for other options, including as she said, to “buat muka tak malu minta bantuan”.

At the moment, Lin sends/fetches her children to/from school. She is however, looking around for a job and if she gets one, she will need to look for other means of transportation for her children. It would be good if they can get a bicycle each so they can cycle to school, but Lin can’t afford to buy bicycles. So yes, one of my tasks right now is to look for donors to buy bicycles for her children.

One thing I noticed is that Lin’s children are doing quite well in their studies despite their family problems. To me it is definitely worth helping them out with their educational needs. Hopefully one fine day when they have succeeded, they will help out their mother and others like her.

Oh, I forgot one thing, didn't I? Who married Mr Darling?

No, not Yah. Not any of my other PLHIV clients either. He got married to a northerner - am not sure if she is a fellow PLHIV or not as I don't know who she is.

Anti-climax, huh? :)

New clients, old clients...

When I woke up for sahur yesterday morning, I noticed there was a message on my hand phone that I had not read. The message was from the telco informing me that there was a missed call from a particular number at 4 pm the day before. For whatever reason that call didn’t even get through; otherwise I would have noticed the missed call on my hand phone and if the number was registered in my phone I would have immediately known who the caller was. But because the missed call notice came in the form of a message from the telco, only the number appeared. The number looked quite familiar but I couldn’t for the life of me remember whose number it was.

I had to look through the whole list of phone numbers listed in my hand phone and finally found it – it was the number of the couple referred by SN to me in July. I had called them earlier and they promised to call me the next time they were coming to Ipoh.

So yesterday morning I returned the call. The couple was on their way to the Ipoh GH for their appointment. Ahah, so they’d be in Ipoh – a good chance to meet up and get all their details! But I was not on clinic duty yesterday and after having to take so many days off from work before this to take care of my mother, I felt bad about leaving the office just to meet up with them. Since 2 of my fellow volunteers were on clinic duty yesterday, I told one of them to meet this couple and get all their particulars. I also gave my colleague’s number to the couple so they could contact him.

Today I went to my NGO center. My colleague is usually there every Thursday afternoons so I took the opportunity to find out more details from him on what transpired the day before at the clinic.

Yes, my colleague got to meet the couple… Samsul and Suhaila – a young couple with a 4 year old son. Suhaila doesn’t work, while Samsul does odd jobs to feed his wife and son. Their own families have deserted them due to Samsul's past drug addictions and especially so after they found out about the couple’s HIV infection.

According to my colleague, the couple was quite reluctant to talk as there were so many people around and they asked if we could visit them at home so they could be more open. Well, they stay in the same town as Nuri and Ani; so maybe some time soon I may just visit them all in one day.

My colleague also told me that they (the 2 buddies who were on duty yesterday) had decided to assign me to another new client – a rather “peculiar” case. I was thinking… what lah these people, any complicated or peculiar cases they’d always pass to me!! Anyway, the new client is an orang asli lady in her 60’s who came to the clinic yesterday with her step-daughter. As to why my colleagues mentioned the case was rather peculiar, they said it was because the lady seemed to just sit there like a zombie. It was her step-daughter doing much of the talking.

“Are you sure she wants a buddy? Maybe she’s reluctant to have a buddy… that’s why she didn’t talk much?” I asked my colleague.

According to my colleague, it was the step-daughter who requested that a buddy be assigned to the mother. Ah well, I guess I will just have to give it a try then. Coincidentally, this lady stays in an orang asli settlement in the same town as Nuri, Ani and Suhaila, so I guess I don’t really have to go out of the way. Just visit them all at one go! The problem now is just to find the right day…

Oh, my colleague also told me that he met Yah at the clinic yesterday. Yah actually came to the hospital together with Mr Darling! Aiyo… I thought Yah’s days with Mr Darling were over! First Mr Darling… then with the engineer whom she caught red-handed in a hotel room in Kelantan with another woman… then I was told Yah was flirting around with an army guy… and now she’s back with Mr Darling??? Ayoma... ini kasanona getting worse lah! Ahh, lantak pi dia lah… I malas want to pikir already…

Anyway, Mr Darling told my colleague that he just went to visit his ex-wife Lin at the ward. Huh? I thought Lin was already discharged? I did send her a message earlier but there was no reply. According to Mr Darling, his ex-wife “dah teruk”. Alamak, I was thinking the worse when he mentioned that. I must, must, must make it a point to visit her. So I called the daughter’s number. The daughter is back at the nursing college where’s currently studying. She told me her mother was still in the same ward, but a different bed.

I headed right to the hospital after I left my NGO center. As I entered the ward, I saw Lin’s other daughter (the one who’s studying overseas but is back in Malaysia for holidays – I met her earlier during the family day trip). Thank God the daughter was there. If Lin was alone I wouldn’t have recognized her!! She looked totally different! No wonder Mr Darling said “dah teruk”. Her skin, her bloated face, her swollen lips… probably Mr Darling thought Lin was already at her “end stage”.

Apparently Lin had just started her HIV medication a few weeks before and all those symptoms were due to medication allergies. According to the daughter, the ID specialist had already confirmed that Lin’s condition was due to medication allergies. So for the time being they have told Lin to stop taking those medications and wait until her condition gets better before they start giving her a new combination of antiretroviral drugs.

You see, there are various combinations of antiretroviral drugs. Some people are allergic to a certain type of drug while some may be allergic to another type of drug. Some may not be allergic at all to any of the drugs. But they won’t be able to tell unless and until they take the medication. That’s why for those who just started medication, the doctors would ask them to come back for another appointment within 2 weeks. Usually by then, if their bodies could not tolerate the drugs, it would show.

Well, Lin did come for her appointment after 2 weeks. At that time, there seemed to be just some minimal swelling around the eyes, but it didn’t look too serious. So she was asked to continue with the medication. Sometimes they may get some effects initially but will gradually go away. But after a while Lin started getting very high fever, her skin started getting very itchy, her feet started swelling, her face and lips looked so bloated; she couldn’t open her eyes and neither could she open her mouth. When she sought the help of her brother to bring her to the hospital, she was actually hoping she’d be warded as she couldn’t take it anymore. When I visited her today, her condition had actually improved, but still, I could not have recognized her if not for her daughter who was there with her.

The daughter has been by her mother’s side ever since Lin was admitted. Lin’s younger children now temporarily stays with their grandma (Mr Darling’s mother). Yes, Lin “looks” terrible right now - I bet even Mr Darling has second thoughts about wooing her back (oooh, I’m bad!). But Lin herself admitted she’s feeling much better. It may still take some time before she gets back to her normal self but hopefully with that positive attitude of hers, she’d be able to go home soon enough. Before raya I hope!

Various updates

When I first got back to Ipoh after my mother’s knee operation, I had quite a peaceful week in the sense that none of my PLWHA clients called me.

Somehow it is when I am out of Ipoh that those calls kept coming. I was in Klang Valley at the end of last week for my mother’s follow-up appointment in Putrajaya Hospital when a few calls came in.

First call came in while I was at the hospital, asking for Puan Afizah. From the way the caller spoke, I knew she was an Indian lady. The lady was actually a friend of Devi who called to seek help for Devi’s children. Devi herself doesn’t own a phone, so she had to depend on her friend to make the calls. I told the lady I was in KL and asked her to call my colleague instead, as this colleague is Devi’s co-buddy. I then sent a text message to this lady giving her my colleague’s number.

Then as I was relaxing at my brother’s home on Saturday, Yah called. When I saw Yah’s name, I wondered what she wanted. She had stopped calling me to talk about her love life, so I was hoping she wasn’t going to go into that again. Well, she did not. Instead, she asked if I could tell SN (of Ipoh HIV clinic) not to disclose to Yah’s in-laws on the date of Yah’s appointments. Huh? I told Yah it was none of SN’s business to disclose the patients’ date of appointments to others. Yah herself should know by now what type of a person SN is. In fact, I think if ever Yah’s in-laws attempted to get such info from SN, they’d probably get a scolding from her as she has better things to do!

Frankly, I think Yah wasn’t really asking me to talk to SN. It was just her way of telling me about her problems with her in-laws. Remember Yah used to have lots of problems with her in-laws who were always demanding for money – like it was Yah’s responsibility after the demise of her late husband, their brother. I thought it had cooled down a bit but apparently it had not. In a way, I think it was Yah’s fault that this matter was brought up again. When Yah got a job in Ipoh she went and stayed with her sister-in-law despite all her previous experiences with her in-laws.

Now the in-laws are asking Yah to pay a fixed monthly amount as “living allowance” for her mother-in-law. Their mother and they are telling Yah to provide some monthly allowance? When Yah refused, one of the in-laws told Yah’s employer that Yah has HIV and that he should not employ her anymore. So now Yah is jobless.

But the in-laws (the outlaws?) have not given up chasing Yah for money. Haiya, ini macam punya orang pun ada ka??? I told Yah to just ignore them.

On Sunday morning, I got a text message from an unfamiliar number. The sender introduced herself as Lin’s daughter. The message was to inform me that Lin had been warded in Ipoh GH due to high fever.

When I got back to Ipoh on Sunday afternoon, and after some rest at home, I decided to drop by the hospital to visit Lin. My house is not that far from the hospital and I needed to go out to buy something anyway. But when I got to Lin’s bed, the whole clan (I think many were Lin’s siblings) was there except Lin. Lin’s youngest daughter who recognized me (she had joined the Family Day trip early this month) told me that her mother was having a bath. Since there were simply too many family members there, I decided not to wait. I thought it would be better if I were to visit on a weekday.

Today I checked - Lin was no longer at the hospital. She must have been discharged. I will check on her again later…

Family Day Showdown?

2 weeks to go to the Buddies Annual Family Day. While I am not sure if I’d be able to join this year’s fun in Taiping Zoo due to uncertainties on the date of my mother’s knee operation, as much as possible, I still get involved (read: menyibuk) in the preparations. Besides, most of the PLWHA clients and their families joining the trip are MY clients. Fuzi plus 5 children and Lin plus 5 children already make a dozen!! Also joining are Jah, Zainab (plus husband and 2 kids), Yah (and son) and not forgetting Hana (with her 3 children and her mother as well).

Ahah… notice both Lin’s and Yah’s names up there?

One is Mr. Darling’s ex-wife and the other is Mr. Darling’s stalker!! Yep, if things go as planned, Lin and Yah will finally meet each other.

Initially I thought neither of them was going to make it. Lin, as I had explained here, has to work on Sundays and taking leave means earning less. But I guess after discussing with her children and thinking things over, she probably figured that this is a good opportunity for her to bring her children makan angin.

As for Yah, I couldn’t seem to contact her of late. Neither could my colleague. But coincidentally, last week Yah called up my colleague to ask about something and so my colleague took the opportunity to inform her about the family day. A few days later she called to confirm that she’d be coming along with her son.

And why haven’t I been able to contact Yah lately? Apparently, she got herself a new number. I’m not sure if she had lost her old phone or whatever, but when she called my colleague recently (she got my colleague’s number from Mr. Darling), she did ask for my phone number. However, to date, she has yet to call me.

So, do you think the unthinkable will happen when they meet up? Frankly I don’t think so. Even if I’m able to join, I will only introduce them as fellow PLWHAs. I don’t intend to mention anything about their relationship with the romeo. It would be an awkward situation of course if Mr. Darling himself also attends. I wonder how he’d react seeing both Yah and Lin there at the same time! But Mr. D didn’t want to be assigned a buddy, and so he is not our client. As such, he is not invited to join.

The only way for both Lin and Yah to find out about each other is if Yah asks Lin the right questions… like “Tinggal di mana?” and when Lin mentions the town; Yah may say “Oh, saya ada kawan tinggal kat sana. Kat kampong xxx.” Then Lin, upon hearing the name of the kampong, which so happens to be the kampong she used to stay in when she was still married to Mr. D, may ask for the name as she knows quite a number of people in the kampong. And then Yah will mention Mr. D’s name… and TADAA!! There you go!

That, of course, is just part of my imagination. We will not know the actual script until D-day comes. Even if I’m not able to join the Family Day, I will make sure I get updates from my colleagues! I am after all, my NGO’s kay-poh-Chair!!