Raya visits – Round 1

After completing an additional 6 days of fasting last week, and a trip to KL over the weekend to attend my niece’s engagement ceremony, today I finally got back into my normal voluntary work mode, although initially earlier in the morning I wasn’t really sure if I’d be starting my Raya rounds today. You see, I just came back from KL last night, and this morning it was raining, so yep, the lazy bug did try to convince me to stay home for an additional day of break.

However by 11 am the sun was out, and knowing that I’d need to start mobilizing myself before I got too lazy, I decided to visit Fuzi’s and Sofie’s family in the afternoon. Sofie’s kids had earlier on invited me to come to their house for Raya, and I promised I’d do so after I completed my puasa enam, and so today was just the right time to visit them. Fuzi’s house is just on the way, I might as well drop by her house as well.

And so after my zohor prayer today, off I went… first, to a minimarket to get some hampers. Some blog readers/facebook friends had given me some cash to be distributed to the HIV families under me – some to be given as duit raya (to the single mothers and to the children as well) and some to buy whatever suitable. As in previous years, the kids had always been excited when I brought hampers for them. It didn’t matter that I bought the inexpensive hampers.

First up, Fuzi’s house. The moment I gave the signal to turn right to her house, my first reaction was… WAAA… RUMAH RAYA!! New paint!

Fuzi had been saving some money from her monthly aid to buy baju raya for her kids, but during Ramadhan, her kids, being orphans, were chosen by a political organisation to be brought to a supermarket together with some other kids to shop for their baju raya. So, the money that Fuzi had been saving to buy baju raya, she used to buy some paint instead, and they ended up painting the house themselves.

Anyway, it was good to note that Hafiz, Fuzi’s 12 year old son, who used to be very naughty and was always out with friends, prefers to stay home a lot more now. He will be sitting for his UPSR beginning tomorrow. Hopefully he will be able to do well.

After munching some raya cookies and finishing the glass of drink prepared by Wina, Fuzi’s eldest daughter, I headed off to my next destination… Sofie’s house. Sofie’s son, Saiful, too will sit for his UPSR tomorrow.

Ahh, the right time to visit the 2 families, to at least give some words of encouragement to both Hafiz and Saiful; although when I planned to visit them, it didn’t really come to my mind that both families had children sitting for UPSR.

My visit to Sofie’s was also just in time before she moves to another house tomorrow. She was just about to tell her sister to inform me about it when she received my text message this morning saying I’d be coming.

Yes, Sofie had been wanting to move to another house earlier on because the whole neighborhood knows about her HIV (courtesy of her mulut becok sister who had been spreading the news around the kampong) but decided to postpone it until Saiful completes his UPSR. She figured she might as well wait until the end of the year so she can arrange to change their schools as well. Besides, she felt financially she wasn’t ready. The present house is rented at RM150 per month while the rental rate of all other houses she had been enquiring were at least RM250 per month.

However, beginning the end of Ramadhan, Sofie’s other sister, Norma, had come to stay with her. Norma, who used to stay up north, had been the one most supportive of Sofie. Whenever she heard that Sofie was unwell, she’d ride her motorbike from all the way up north just to check on her sister. A vast difference from the mulut becok sister who stays in the same neighborhood.

Well, Norma now is separated from her husband, and she has decided to come and stay with Sofie. She had been staying with Sofie since a few days before Raya.

So, what made Sofie change her mind about moving house? And more so, why is she moving tomorrow when UPSR is to start?

You see, in addition to having the whole neighborhood know about her HIV, the house she’s staying in tend to get flooded whenever there’s heavy rain. No, not the whole neighborhood, just her house. Worse, the septic tank outside her house had been full for some time and Sofie had informed her landlord a few times. But the landlord refused to do anything. On the first day of Raya this year, the same thing happened. Imagine having dirty water (including those overflowing from her septic tank) in the kitchen. Yucks!

Again Sofie informed the landlord. And all the landlord could say was to tell her to just use buckets or pails to clear the water out of the kitchen! Sheeesh!

Sofie got fed-up, so did Norma. They both decided to look for another house, with Norma agreeing to share the rental and deposit. Off they went searching, and over the weekend, they managed to find a house in a nearby town at a rate of RM250 per month. Although the place is a bit further for the children to go to school, it was still accessible within 30 minutes by car/motorbike/bus. Sofie or Norma would be sending/fetching the children to/from school with their motorbikes until school session for the year ends. After that, she’ll arrange for the children to be transferred to schools nearer to their new house.

Once they settle down, Sofie intends to set up a small stall selling kuih or burger near her place, beside the main road.

That’s one thing I like about Sofie, no matter what kind of hardship she has to go through, she’s always thinking of something to earn her own income instead of depending on financial aid all the time.

Well, looks like my next visit at the end of the month to deliver groceries will be to her new home…

What lah!

When I went to visit Ijam at the hospital last week, the nurses seemed to be treating both Ijam and Fuzi well. When one of Fuzi’s neighbors came to visit a nephew at the same ward and bumped into Fuzi, Fuzi slowly whispered to the nurse begging her not to tell the neighbor of Ijam’s HIV. Fuzi no longer cares that the whole neighborhood knows of her HIV, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Ijam’s HIV status being known to all and sundry. The nurse assured her that they would never give such info to others. So the neighbor was only told that Ijam was warded because of dengue.

However, when Ijam was transfered to the end room, a single room, I did suspect that they used the room as an isolation room due to Ijam’s HIV. Oh well, in a way it was a blessing… I had more privacy to chat with Fuzi when I visited.

Ijam was discharged on Sunday, and so I went to fetch them at the hospital to send them home. It was then that I learnt from Fuzi that other than the isolation room, Ijam was indeed treated differently than the other kids at the pediatric ward.

A few things mentioned by Fuzi caught my attention.

1. While the other kids were served their food in trays, Ijam on the other hand was given “nasi bungkus”. In other words, no need to wash the trays he would have been using if his food was served just like the rest.

2. When changing the bed sheets of the pediatric patients in the ward, bare hands were used EXCEPT for Ijam’s bed. Before coming in to Ijam’s room, they made sure they put on gloves just to change the bed sheet.

3. The nurses advised Fuzi that all the utensils used by Ijam at home be separated from the ones used by his siblings!

Fuzi ended up more confused than ever before! When she and Ijam were initially diagnosed HIV+, the doctors told her not to worry about sharing utensils at home. Now, after she had been mixing all the utensils at home for more than 4 years after diagnosed, they tell her a different story?

“Macam mana ni kak? Betul ke saya kena asingkan pinggan, cawan, semua? Selama ni saya tak pernah asingkan pun! Cakap siapa saya nak ikut ni?!”

“Ikut je cakap doktor!”

Thank goodness the doctors had explained to her earlier about the do’s and don’ts. Otherwise, Fuzi would probably panic and send all her children for testing again in case they got infected due to sharing of household utensils! Imagine how Ijam would feel if everything his has to be kept separately, when all his siblings share things at home.

If something is medical-related, people would generally believe the nurses more than they would believe someone like me! Imagine the wrong perceptions they are giving to the public!

And I have been giving talks to the public when the hospital staff themselves need to be given more awareness on HIV!

Sigh…

Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga

Just last week I went to visit Fuzi. The very next day she called to tell me that somebody got into her house when she was at the hospital for her appointment. When she got home, the doors and windows were shut and locked, but when she got in, the house was in a mess and a few things were stolen. By the looks of it, I think probably someone has a set of her house keys! I told her to either change her house keys or install additional locks.

Then as I was relaxing at home yesterday afternoon, Fuzi called me again from a public phone to tell me that Ijam, her 8 year old HIV+ son had to be warded at Ipoh GH for dengue. Poor thing! They were at the emergency unit then, waiting to be warded.

Ijam was already having fever over the weekend but Fuzi thought it was just the normal fever, and so she just gave him the usual ubat demam. But seeing that the fever had not subsided, she decided to bring Ijam to the Klinik Kesihatan near her place – totally unprepared for the possibility that the boy may need to be hospitalised. After all, she didn’t bring him to a hospital, but to a small Klinik Kesihatan. The people at the klinik kesihatan, upon confirming that the boy was down with dengue, brought them to Ipoh GH in an ambulance.

Since Fuzi went unprepared, she didn’t bring along any change of clothes, medication or enough money. She didn’t even bring along her ATM card to withdraw money. So she called me again once they got to the children’s ward.

“Kak, saya nak minta tolong boleh?”

Before I could say anything, the line was cut off. I tried to call back the same number but couldn’t get through. So I had no choice but to wait.

Fuzi only called back an hour later. And being typical of Fuzi to speak quickly in her Indonesian accent, I couldn’t really understand what she was trying to say. She kept asking me if I could “tolong hantar kain baju dan obat jam 8 nanti”. I was wondering why it had to be at 8 pm… I don’t usually go out at night except for my NGO meetings.

Me: “Kenapa mesti pukul 8?”

Fuzi: “Saya kena makan obat jam 8!”

Me: “Kalau saya pergi sekarang tak boleh ke?”

Fuzi: “Oh, sekarang lagi bagus kak!”

DUH!!

Fuzi had already passed a message to her eldest daughter to tell her to pack whatever necessary in a bag. Since they didn’t have any phone at home, Fuzi had no choice but to call her brother-in-law (her late husband’s brother) staying nearby to seek his help to pass the message to Wina, Fuzi’s daughter. Under normal circumstances, you’d think Fuzi could depend on this BIL and his wife to look after Fuzi’s children while she’s at the hospital looking after Ijam. But in reality, her BIL & wife would usually want payment for any services rendered! Remember Fuzi had that problem of getting her children’s MyKad done? Well, it could be done if their uncle, a Malaysian citizen, accompanied the girls to JPN as their guardian. Well, he did accompany them to get their MyKad done, but in addition to the transportation costs already covered by Fuzi, she also had to pay him an additional RM200 just to sign the application forms as their guardian. And they are his own nieces!! Apa punya pak sedara la!!

So asking their favor to look after the kids could be really costly!

That aside, off I went to Fuzi’s house yesterday after my asar prayer – usually it would take about 20 minutes from my house to hers, but it being just after office hours, the traffic was a bit heavy (although it was nothing compared to KL traffic lah!).

I honked when I got to their house, it took some time before Nita, Fuzi’s second daughter opened the door. The children don’t usually open the door when their mother’s not around, but upon seeing my car, they didn’t have second thoughts about opening the door. Wina, the eldest, was still packing some clothes into a bag. I told her to make sure that her mother’s and brother’s ARV medication were already in the bag. After getting Fuzi’s ATM card from them, off I went. I was in such a hurry I totally forgot to ask the girls if they had any money or food for the next few days.

It was only when I got to the hospital (just in time before visiting hours ended) that Fuzi mentioned to me she didn’t know if the children had anything to eat for the next few days. She had not left them any money as she had expected to go home before the end of the day. I promised Fuzi I’d check on the children the next day (today).

Early this morning, after my usual kampong exercise routine, I went into my room and saw the red light blinking on my hand phone. There was a missed call, and based on the number, I figured it was from one of the hospital’s public phones.

Later I tried to call Fuzi’s mobile number, but there was no answer. It was nearing 1 pm when Fuzi finally called back, again from a public phone. Her phone’s battery was almost dead and she had not brought along the charger. Anyway, Fuzi said that the doctor suspected Ijam may have some kidney problems as well. Aduiii… I do hope it’s nothing serious.

Fuzi then again mentioned how worried she was about her children at home. I told her I’d make it a point to visit them after 2 pm ie after my lunch and zohor prayer.

So yep, after my zohor prayer off I went, first to the grocery shop to buy canned food (sardines, curry chicken, sambal ikan bilis), bread and eggs. Coincidentally, just last week when I went to visit them, I had already brought along some groceries for them. This time they’d probably need more instant or easy to cook food. Before making a move to their house, I also made it a point to buy nasi goreng for them. Nasi goreng had always been the children’s favorite – every time I bring them out and ask them to order anything to eat, they’d straight away say, “Nasi goreng!”

All 4 children were home when I got there. Nita, 13, and her 11 year old brother were already back from school, while Wina, in form 3 and will be sitting for her PMR this year, had to ponteng sekolah to take care of her youngest sibling, Iwan, 4. I had wanted to suggest that Wina and Nita take turns to skip school on alternate days, but somehow Nita is not too reliable when it comes to house work. Wina on the other hand, had been very reliable since she was still in primary school. Put her in charge and she’ll make sure her siblings will get something to eat, even if there’s nothing much at home.

Anyway, Wina passed me another bag of stuff her mother had requested, including her hand phone charger. Wina asked when Ijam is expected to be discharged – a question I couldn’t possibly answer and I myself weren’t too sure of Ijam’s condition. Before I left, I also left some cash with Wina in case she needed to buy anything. At least for today she didn’t have to worry about having to cook or buy anything as I had already bought nasi goreng for them.

Today I went to visit Fuzi and Ijam quite early,at 5 pm. But when I got into the children’s ward and headed straight to the bed where I saw them yesterday, there was a toddler on the bed, not Ijam! I looked around but couldn’t find Fuzi or Ijam. Finally I decided to call Fuzi’s hand phone. It was cut off just after the first ring, but after that I heard Fuzi’s voice calling out my name. Ijam had been transferred to a small single room at the end of the ward.

The boy was still on drip. He looked so skinny, and I could clearly see an unhappy and pathetic looking face. With such looks, there was no way Fuzi would go home and leave him at the hospital even for just a little while.

I told Fuzi I’d be busy tomorrow (got to go to office in the morning and attend a meeting in the afternoon) and so if she needed another favor from me, she’d have to wait till Friday.

More than 3 1/2 years later…

It has been quite a while since I last visited Fuzi’s family. If I recall correctly, my last visit to her house was some time in December last year. Even then, it wasn’t really a house visit - I went to fetch them at home and brought them shopping for the children’s schooling needs.

Fuzi’s case was first referred to me in August 2006. She had no source of income then, with 5 other mouths to feed including a 3 month old baby boy. The family depended on whatever a few neighbors and other good Samaritans gave them. Her whole neighborhood knew about her HIV due to a mulut murai nurse staying in the same kampong. In addition to that, her youngest child was conceived not with her late husband (who had died a few years earlier). Somebody broke into her house and raped her.

Finding out about her pregnancy after that was devastating enough. Finding out about her HIV infection was like the end of the world. With an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and HIV to add, the thought of the stigma and discrimination she was to face was a situation she never imagined.

Fuzi was confident that she got the HIV from the rape case. After giving birth to the youngest, Fuzi was concerned that her baby, Iwan, may be infected. She made sure she didn’t miss any appointments at the hospital although sometimes she only had enough to pay for her bus fares to Ipoh, but not to go back home.

After her case was referred to us Buddies, and to me personally as her buddy, we tried our best to help her out. In her case, moral and emotional support alone was not enough. She needed financial help as well. But other than our Children Education Fund (CEF) which is solely meant for children’s education, we didn’t have specific funds for their other needs. I got our Client Welfare Coordinator to help Fuzi apply for Welfare Aid, but that would usually take some time before approval. So what would Fuzi and her children eat meantime?

With a baby whom Fuzi couldn’t breastfeed because of her HIV, she’d need milk powder. And diapers too. Both these items aren’t cheap. Well yes, she could use cloth diapers, but there were times, especially during rainy seasons, when she’d run out of diapers.

I wrote about Fuzi’s financial woes here.

Fuzi’s problems didn’t end there. By the time her eldest daughter needed to get her MyKad done, Fuzi had other problems. You see, Fuzi, being Indonesian, married her late husband, a Malaysian, in Narathiwat. Trusting her husband fully that the marriage would be registered in Malaysia later, Fuzi wasn’t aware that her marriage had not been registered here. It wasn’t much of a problem when her husband was still alive. All her 4 children with her late husband had their birth certs done without any problems, indicating clearly that their father was a Malaysian citizen. But after her husband passed on, and Fuzi herself went to bring her daughter to apply for her MyKad, the citizenship problem began. She was told to get her marriage cert legalised before proceeding with her children’s citizenship confirmation. I wrote about this problem here, here and here.

While Fuzi was concerned that her youngest child would be infected, she did bring all her children for blood tests, just in case. While her first 3 children got the A-okay clearance from the doctor, Ijam was asked to come for a second test. But it wasn’t easy to bring Ijam for tests as he was afraid of needles. Every time he knew his mother planned to bring him to the hospital, he would run out of the house and hid somewhere until he knew it was too late to go to the hospital! Fuzi did finally coax (read: bribe) him to go by promising to buy him toys. And how heartbreaking it was to find out that Ijam was indeed confirmed HIV positive as well.

So Fuzi didn’t get HIV from the rape case after all. She must have got it from her late husband! You can read about this here.

The above problems were more than enough for Fuzi to handle. You think? Well, it didn’t help that her 3rd child was such a naughty boy. The boy, Faiz, was caught by his teacher in school for “menghisap” as told by Fuzi to me. I took for granted Fuzi meant “hisap rokok”. You can read about it here. Little did I know then that it was something worse than that. Not even drugs. What could it be then? Find out for yourself here. Just the thought of it gave me the creeps!

Well, financially we managed to help Fuzi out. Other than getting month financial aid from the Welfare Dept (of RM115 per month – to feed 5 children!), after I started my blog and posted her story, an anonymous blog reader agreed to remit a certain amount into Fuzi’s bank account every month. Her children’s schooling needs are covered either by our CEF or by our Sponsorship program.

As for legalising her marriage cert and confirming her children’s citizenship status, all I could do was to forward her to trusted sources to seek help from, ie those who wouldn’t take advantage of her.

There wasn’t much I could do about little Ijam’s HIV, except to give Fuzi some moral support, and to make sure the boy doesn’t miss his hospital appointments and medication.

I used to visit Fuzi’s family frequently on a monthly basis. After about 2 years and after I was confident that Fuzi would be able to stand on her own with the financial help she was already getting, I reduced the frequency of my visit. I didn’t want her to start depending too much on me and Buddies.

Well, today I decided to visit her. I did bring along some foodstuff with me plus a bagful of used baju kurung still in good condition, donated by someone who had cleaned up her wardrobe (to get new ones maybe?).

I didn’t even tell Fuzi I was coming. She seldom goes out except to the hospital. Only Fuzi, her eldest daughter Wina, and her youngest boy Iwan, were home. The rest were in school. Iwan will be 4 years old next month. How time flies!

I was pleased to note that this time around Fuzi didn’t have any new problems to tell me. In fact, her earlier problems seemed to be heading the right direction. Iwan has been confirmed to be spared from HIV. Fuzi has already got her marriage cert legalised. With that she managed to proceed with her daughters’ citizenship status, but procedures are procedures, it may take at least 6 months before the children can get their MyKad. But in their birth certs their citizenship had been verified and Wina’s teacher agreed to help out with Wina’s registration for PMR this year even without a MyKad. Of course, it did help that Wina is one of the brighter students and so the teacher went out of her way to help register the girl for her PMR.

As for the other children, they are doing okay in school. Not as good as Wina, but at least they look forward to school. And Faiz is no longer giving Fuzi the problems he used to give her. Fuzi resorted to “blackmailing” him – telling him that if she hears of any more troubles caused by him, “Nanti Mama minta tolong Makcik Afizah hantar kamu pergi rumah anak yatim!”

Hmmm… that wasn’t the first time my name was used for blackmailing purposes…

Shopping for schooling needs – Round 4

Yesterday was the turn of Fuzi’s children to go shopping for their schooling needs. Last year Fuzi bought the necessities first and then claimed from me. However this year, Fuzi had used her money to buy bicycles for her 2 older daughters and so she ran out of cash. It had been quite some time since I last brought her kids out anyway, and so I promised to fetch them yesterday afternoon to buy the necessities.

As always, by the time I got to their house, all of them were waiting outside, all set to go. So we immediately headed to Ipoh, as there wasn’t much choice at the little town that they’re staying in.

However, it being almost the end of the year, we had quite a tough time looking for the right sizes, especially for Fuzi’s 2 boys. Most of the sizes available were either too big or too small for them. It didn’t help that the 2 boys, aged 7 and 10, were more interested in playing with the shopping cart they were pushing. When we finally got the right sizes, we quickly grabbed 2 of each before anybody else took it.

There weren’t really much problem with the other things (except for the price…). But all their old uniforms, bags etc were already in bad shape (Fuzi opted for cheaper stuff when she had to buy them first last year) and so almost every single thing had to be bought. And with the eldest daughter being a prefect, she needed extra stuff, like black shoes. But the girls were rather disciplined. Anything they wanted to take, they’d seek my approval first.

With all the things needed for the 4 schooling kids, by the time we got to the cashier, the cart was full of stuff. The bill came up to over RM600. And the receipt I got came up to about 1 1/2 ft in length! The only one who didn’t get anything was Iwan, Fuzi’s youngest boy who was happy enough to be following us shopping.

Anyway, after paying for all the stuff, I took them to the food court. At least the little boy got something to drink and eat at the food court, rather than not getting anything at all.

I then sent them home, thinking that would be the last of my school shopping spree for this year. My claims now, inclusive of both Sponsorship Fund and Children Education Fund, is already over RM4K. I’d better submit my claims before the end of the year so that the amount will be reflected in this year’s financial report. I hope the other Buddies assigned to other poor families will also submit their claims soon, although I know for a fact, their claims won’t be as much as mine. Most of the poor families are my cases.

When I got home, I SMSed Lin to ask if she had bought her children’s schooling needs so I could reimburse her from the Sponsorship Fund, but I was told that she hadn’t bought anything, hoping her ex-hubby would help buy their schooling needs. They are after all, his children too. He never did. He just gave a small amount just enough to cover for their youngest girl’s workbooks.

With her goreng pisang business not doing too well ever since a new supermarket opened at their town (many customers prefer to go to the food stalls nearer to the supermarket), Lin doesn’t really have much money in hand.

Oh well, I guess no harm going for one more round of shopping. Lin was thinking of bringing her kids shopping next Monday with whatever little cash that she has, probably thinking of just buying one pair each first. So I told her I’d fetch her on Monday afternoon and we’d go shopping together.

That means… yes, I’ve got another round of shopping to go!

And now they're bickering...

I remember once I was organizing a particular event and there was this lady who had agreed to help out to coordinate one of the programmes for the day. With everything set to go, the evening before the event, the lady called me up to tell me she was not able to make it as her son was very ill and she didn't feel good leaving him at home in such condition. She apologised profusely to me. I told her, "It's okay, I understand." She then replied, "How can you understand? You will not understand until you have children of your own."

I thought (and I still think) that last statement was not necessary. Had I persuaded her to attend the function no matter what her circumstances were because it was such a last minute notice, I would understand her statement. But I was in no way persuading her... as a matter of fact, I was empathizing. As someone who believes that "family comes first", I too, if I were in her shoes, pull out of the event. And when I told her I understood, it came from my heart. I may not have felt what she felt, but that didn't mean I didn't understand. Just because I am not married and I don't have children, doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Or does it?

Well, in the voluntary work that I'm doing right now, I never tell my PLHIV clients that I know how they feel, because really, I don't. I do however, understand their fears and their worries. But I have learnt not to say to them I understand because I may get the same response as I did in the above situation. Still, when we try to motivate them to move on with life, some may still say, "Easy for you to say, you don't know what it feels like."

So, we try to get these PLHIVs connected with each other, so that they'd get to know others "in the same boat". They'd probably understand each other better. I organised the deeparaya-do for the ladies so that they can get to know each other and so they may exchange ideas as to what they can do to get on with life after HIV. I encouraged them to exchange phone numbers so they can get in touch with each other. I brought Jah along with me during my house visits.

Well, Jah and Shila have become very good friends. And Asiah too would contact Jah from time to time. The rest, oh well, they may not be contacting each other, but when they do see each other at the hospital, they would at least talk to one another.

Fuzi and Yah too got to know each other during the deeparaya do. They exchanged phone numbers, and they do contact each other from time to time. But things are not well between those two now. Those who have been following my postings in this blog may remember I mentioned about Yah asking for the phone number of Fuzi's friend, which Fuzi gave without question and without even getting the friend's permission. Well, Yah did call up that friend and ended up telling him about Fuzi's HIV status.

Now things are getting worse. While they no longer talk to each other on the phone, they have been sending text messages accusing each other of this and that. Fuzi's message to Yah was to tell her to stop spreading news about her to others. Yah, on the other hand, denied she was involved in spreading lies about Fuzi, and in return she accused Fuzi of reporting bad things about her to me (yes, ME) and as a result she is no longer getting most of the financial assistance she used to get. Even a colleague of mine told me that when he met Yah recently, she was telling him the same thing.

Whoa, wait a minute! I must be such a powerful person to actually decide who should get assistance and who should not, as and when I like! Terror jugak Pi Bani ni ek...

To badmouth Fuzi further, Yah told my colleague that she once met Fuzi at a particular hotel in Ipoh. My colleague and I both know that Fuzi seldom gets out of her house and it was very unlikely that Fuzi was there. So he asked Yah back, "You jumpa Fuzi kat hotel tu, apa you buat kat situ?" Muahaha! With no way to say she wasn't there, Yah just said, "Jumpa kawan." OK fine, so if Fuzi really was at the hotel, if Yah herself could meet a friend there, why not Fuzi huh?

I am sick and tired of listening to their bickering. All the while I was afraid about a "Yah vs Lin" confrontation over Mr Darling but Lin is so fed up of Mr D she couldn't be bothered whoever wanted to be his girlfriend. I never thought the confrontation would be between Yah and Fuzi instead.

Ah, so much for getting them connected. Oh well, at least it proves that PLHIVs are humans like the rest of us. Some get along very well and become best of friends. Some are rather anti-social and not bothered to get in touch with the others. Some, end up bickering like Fuzi and Yah.

Maybe the next event I need to organise for my PLHIV clients is a ladies wrestling competition.

Am now imagining Fuzi and Yah in the ring, twisting each other's arms, pulling each other's hair, scratching each other's face... uhhh... I wouldn't want to be the referee lah...

House Visits

After not having visited any of my PLHIV clients for more than a month, this week alone I managed to do 3 house visits. YAYYY!!

I’ve already posted the story on my visit to Lin’s place. Remember I mentioned in that posting that one of my tasks would be to look for donors to buy bicycles for Lin’s children? I posted the story on Wednesday – and by Thursday I’ve already got 2 people willing to sponsor the bicycles. By Friday one of them has already banked in the money while the other will do so soon. Thank you blog readers! I love you all!!

My next task will be to buy the bicycles – I hope to do so within next week. Will keep you all posted.

On Thursday I went to visit Zainab, whose house is quite nearby my office area. The door was wide open when I got there. Upon seeing me, Zainab immediately called out to the neighbour’s house, “Adiiik… balik! Makcik datang ni!” Her younger daughter, affectionately called Adik, was playing at the neighbour’s house, since her usual playmate, her older sister, affectionately called Kakak, was at school.

As mentioned in an earlier posting, Zainab who works at a factory, is affected by the global economy crisis as her working hours are now cut down and she gets to do much less overtime – which means she gets less income, when she actually needs more as Kakak starts schooling this year. Everything has to be bought as the girl has no older siblings or cousins to pass down old uniforms to her. I filled in the CEF (Children Education Fund) form for Kakak to lessen Zainab’s burden.

When I read the list/letter given by the school, I couldn’t help noticing in particular one sentence mentioning that they will be collecting another fee in April. They didn’t mention what fee or how much, they just mentioned it has to be paid in April. They have already collected all sorts of fee at the beginning of the year. What is this? I hear politicians talking about free education… yet this school will be collecting more fees come April. Free education my foot!!

Whatever it is, Zainab is still thankful she hasn’t lost her job. Although she had to spend quite a lot for Kakak’s schooling needs, she knows for a fact there are many people out there who are in a worse situation than hers.

Today, Saturday, I brought along 2 new volunteers to visit Fuzi and her children. Neither of the volunteers have done any house visits since they joined, so this was their first experience.

When we got to the house, I saw someone bathing naked outside the house. Woi… ni bukan x-rated posting lah. The one naked was Fuzi’s sweet looking 2 year old boy (he’ll be 3 this year) – playing at the tap right outside their back door which was by the side of the house so I could see him when I drove into the house compound. His hair has grown a bit longer now so he looks even sweeter than ever – my colleague at first thought he was a girl.

I had actually informed Fuzi earlier that I was coming today, and I told her to get ready all the necessary receipts and the results of her children’s exam results for last year, which I need in order to prepare the reports to be given to the individuals sponsoring her children under our Education Sponsorship for Children programme. I must say Fuzi was really organized this time around – everything was in order, all ready to be passed to me without me having to write down any details.

Fuzi however still has one big problem. Remember in one of my earlier postings I mentioned that her 2nd child faced no problem in getting her MyKad done because her Malaysian uncle came along when doing the necessary at the JPN office? The only problem earlier was that her first child had to resubmit her MyKad application as her earlier application was cancelled after more than a year.

Now it seems the 2nd child’s MyKad is ready, but when Fuzi resubmitted the 1st child’s application (again with the help of the uncle whom Fuzi had to pay to get him to go to JPN), JPN held back the 2nd child’s card. Now both of them are stuck and unable to get their MyKad. JPN still insists that Fuzi gets their citizenship status confirmed first at JPN Putrajaya. And the Putrajaya office on the other hand, wants Fuzi to legalize her marriage cert first at the Syariah Court.

And since her husband has died, the Syariah Court insists that Fuzi brings to court the 2 witnesses to the akad nikah in Narathiwat held more than 14 years ago. Otherwise, they wouldn’t legalize the cert. One of the witnesses is staying quite near but after consulting his family members, has refused to trouble himself to go to the Syariah Court to help Fuzi out. Not their problem, so they said. Subpoena? Can be done, but they warned Fuzi not to do that – otherwise they will make life difficult for her (as though life is not already difficult for Fuzi).

The other witness? He’s from another state near the border. This one we weren’t able to find. From the IC number written in the Narathiwat marriage cert, I can’t even be sure if this man is still alive – he’s even older than Fuzi’s late husband (who was elderly person himself!). And if he’s dead, forget the subpoena! (If he appears in court – the judge will run first!!)

So guess what? We’re back to square one!!

Oh dear…

Anyone out there has any suggestions on how to solve this matter? Anyone who knows who’s who in JPN Putrajaya? Fuzi doesn’t care anymore if her marriage cert doesn’t get legalized (her husband is dead anyway!) but she just wants her children to get their MyKad. For heaven’s sake, it is clearly stated in their birth cert that their father’s a Malaysian!!

Up till now, Fuzi has already paid quite a sum of money to people who claimed they would be able to help (despite me advising her against it). All she wanted was for her children to get their citizenship status confirmed. The money is long gone, but she is back where she started. It’s like playing snake and ladders but always sliding down the snake, never going up the ladder.

Please folks, is there any other option she can take?

Aiyo, what next?

I was on my way to Fuzi’s house today when I suddenly remembered that Razif was supposed to go for his appointment this morning. Remember Razif, the guy who didn’t know how to break the news to his wife? Well, I suggested to him to just tell his wife that the doctor had asked him to bring her along for his appointment and then let the doctor break the news of his HIV to his wife. He thought it was a good idea.

I wasn’t on clinic duty today. So I decided to call my colleague who was on duty to find out. According to my colleague, while Razif came for his appointment, his wife didn’t come along. He has not even told his wife about his appointment at the hospital! “Takde masa lagi nak bagitau”, so he said.

Please lah… he sees his wife day in day out at home. It’s not that he has yet to find the time to tell his wife – he simply finds it hard to open his mouth to tell his wife he has HIV. I can understand that. But takde masa? Takde masa my foot!

Today Razif got the results of his blood test. His CD4 is only 36. My guess is that he was infected for quite some time already; so chances are his wife may have been infected too. He really needs to get his wife tested. But to do that, he must first tell his wife that he himself has been infected. Now that he blew his chances of getting his wife to come along with him to the hospital today, I wonder what will be his next move. With such a low CD4 count, he will need to start with his ARV medication. Will the wife not suspect anything then? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Back to Fuzi, I promised her I’d visit today. So this afternoon after buying some fast food for the children, off I went to Fuzi’s house. As Fuzi opened the door, the first child as always greeting me at the door with a big smile was Ijam, the infected child. He came up with an even bigger smile when I handed over the fast food I brought along.

Ijam will start schooling next year. Next week will be his appointment with the pediatrician, and Fuzi will be discussing with the doctor about Ijam’s medication. For the moment he needs to take his medication 4 times a day – which will be troublesome when he starts going to school. Very likely he will need to change to taking the medication twice a day.

Anyway, remember I mentioned in my posting here about Faiz, Ijam’s older brother, being caught smoking in school? Well, I actually got the wrong info. You see, Fuzi’s exact words when she told me earlier were “Dia ditangkap tengah menghisap dengan kawan-kawan”. Fuzi didn’t elaborate further then, so I assumed she meant hisap rokok. Boy was I wrong!

When Fuzi told me today that Faiz bukan hisap rokok, I was thinking… oh God… don’t tell me it’s hisap dadah? Hisap gam?! These are 10 year olds we’re talking about.

But I guess nothing was going to surprise me anymore. I’ve met people like Lily, who had to lead such a complicated life; I’ve met people like Zana, the problematic young woman; I’ve met people like Zali, whose wife actually left him and their 2 young kids (she never came back for the kids); I’ve met people like Hasnah who on record doesn’t exist; I’ve met people like Anita who is 22 but has yet to get her IC done due to some complicated problems. I figured I’ve met them all.

“Dia hisap apa?” I asked Fuzi, and I was prepared not to be shocked with whatever that Fuzi was going to tell me. Or so I thought.

“Hisap kemaluan”, came the answer.

What the…???!!

God help me please. I wonder what other kind of stories I will encounter in the course of my voluntary work…

Naughty son, lousy mother?

Just as I had planned, today I went to visit Fuzi. It has been more than 3 months since my last visit to her house as compared to monthly visits previously. Fuzi is more independent now that she is getting sufficient financial assistance. The way I see it, she’s putting the financial assistance to good use.

Ijam, her infected son, seems to be doing okay. Unlike previously when it is so difficult to get him to take his HIV medication, nowadays it is already no big deal. Fuzi herself has been given the 3-in-1 pills instead of 3 different types of pills for her own HIV medication. She claims the new drug makes her feel nauseous.

Iwan, her youngest son, as usual, was the “jinak merpati” type – he’d smile at me from afar but wouldn’t come near.

Wani, Fuzi’s eldest daughter and Faiz, her son, were not home when I went to visit today. According to Fuzi, they went to town to buy some necessities.

Fuzi’s problem with her Narathiwat marriage cert looks as though will be solved soon, but not without having Fuzi to part with another huge chunk of money. But Fuzi doesn’t care – as long as things can be settled for the sake of her children, she’s willing to part with her savings.

Hmmm… looks like they are doing okay.

Or are they really?

I guess there are always problems for everyone. Fuzi’s main problem now is Faiz, her 10 year old son who always seem to be getting into trouble for being naughty. Just recently Fuzi had to pay for her neighbor’s car windscreen as they claimed Faiz was the one who threw stones at their car, breaking the windscreen. Faiz denied it, but Ijam saw his big brother doing it and told his mother the truth.

Last month, Faiz’s school teacher called Fuzi to school. Faiz and a few of his friends had to go through some counseling as they were caught smoking! Yes, these are 10 year olds and they were smoking cigarettes! I wonder where they got the cigarettes from.

Within the neighborhood, Faiz is now well known as the budak jahat. Anything goes missing, it’s his doing. Anything breaks, it’s his doing. Well, it may and it may not have been him being the culprit, but he is, I have to admit, a very naughty boy.

Nowadays the neighbors are accusing Fuzi of being a very lousy mother who doesn’t know how to bring up her son. It doesn’t matter that Fuzi has 4 other well-behaved children. Her 2 daughters are in fact very responsible children – and this was evident during the Deeparaya do held at my NGO center last year when they actually washed the dishes without having anyone telling them to. To them it was the right thing to do.

But no, the neighbors don’t seem to see the other well-behaved children Fuzi brought up. They only see the bad things done by Faiz. To them, of course Fuzi is to be blamed for Faiz’s bad behaviour… she is the “orang Indon yang kawin dengan orang kita di Siam… lepas lakinya meninggal boleh mengandung lagi… dia kata kena rogol… entah ya entah tidak… dah tu dapat HIV – memang sah dia yang jahat. Macam mana nak jaga anak!”

Well, the neighbors don’t know that Ijam too is infected. They don’t know that Fuzi had got the virus earlier – from her late husband. Fuzi doesn’t want to be telling people that part as it would mean talking bad about a dead person (her late husband) and exposing the fact that Ijam is infected. If they find out that Ijam too is infected, chances are the neighbors won’t let their children go anywhere near the poor boy.

Sigh…

But anyway, I brought along a hamper and a bagful of old storybooks for the children today. I know Fuzi’s children love books. And the hamper would make them happy too.

As I was driving back, I saw Wina and Faiz on a bicycle on their way home. They recognized my car from far and started waving frantically. I just honked to acknowledge.

It’s always nice to see the smile on the children’s faces.

A busy weekend...

I had wanted to visit baby K again over the weekend but there were oh so many things to do. Other than sending my car for servicing on Saturday morning, later at 3 pm we had our gotong-royong to tidy up our NGO center. Yes, we do have our cleaner coming in every Saturday to clean up the place but all she does is to clean the place… not tidy up the mess we created in our store room.

So we figured it was time to clear up the place – tidy up the things we need and throw away the things that we don’t. Otherwise even the useful things we won’t be able to use because by the time we need to use them, we won’t be able to find them!

7 volunteers turned up and one of the volunteers brought along his wife to help out (very clever, when it came to hard work, he brought his wife!!).

Before - everything simply chucked one thing on top of another...

The main thing causing the piling up of things in the store room was actually our Buddy Bears – its production has been greater than demand. With the bears in plastic bags and chucked into the store room, all the things that were placed in the store room earlier were simply lost from our sight! So we took things out from the room, placed the bears in boxes and marked the number of bears on each box.

During - an even bigger mess created...

Then we had to rearrange everything back into the room. Buddy Bears at one corner… Family Day things at one corner… groceries for our poor clients at one corner… at least we won’t get “drowned” in the mess when we try to look for things next time.

After - the bears already in boxes and stacked up at one corner

I couldn’t visit baby K on Sunday either as I had to go to KL for some personal matters. But Mrs. K did call me on Sunday evening, telling me that her little girl would probably be discharged on Monday and that the doctors had arranged for her IJN appointment in August. I know she’s worried about the traveling costs. I will have to think of something to help her out. Even if they still have their EPF money, they still need help.

Fuzi too called me. I had told her earlier to inform me if any of her children need to pay anything extra for their schooling needs as they are under sponsorship. So yes, her eldest daughter Wina was chosen as a prefect and needed to pay for her prefect’s uniform. In addition she also had to pay an additional fee of RM20 asked by her class teacher. Whatever the fee was for I don’t know, I will have to see the receipt first. Talk about free education….

And oh, Fuzi also mentioned that the children’s bus fares have increased from RM30 to RM40 a month. Which reminds me, with the price of petrol/diesel up; surely the other children too may have to pay extra for their bus fares. I’d better ask around, sometimes they are too shy to tell us if we don’t ask. I just came back from KL myself (my first trip to KL since petrol price shot up) and somehow my petrol tank seemed to have expanded….

And I’ve got quite a number of trips to KL in the next few weeks and maybe months... alamaaak…

House visits with the new trainee

It has been a while since I last visited any of my clients. Ever since I was assigned a new trainee volunteer under me, I have yet to bring her around for any house visits. Weekends during school holidays are definitely not a good idea as there will be lots of kenduris to attend. So yesterday I thought of bringing the trainee with me to visit Fuzi. Since the trainee is a retiree, she doesn’t have any problems about going on a weekday. As a matter of fact, she prefers to go on a weekday.

So, after stocking up my car with some groceries donated by some good Samaritans, off I went to fetch the trainee and we headed to the small town where Fuzi stays. On the way while I was driving, a call came in. It was the general ring tone, so I didn’t expect the call to be from any of my PLWHA clients. The call turned out to be from Mrs. K’s 13 year old daughter, who called from a public phone – thus the general ring tone instead of the easily recognizable Bond ring tone.

She asked if they could borrow RM20 to buy milk for her baby sister. They ran totally out of milk powder for the little girl. While they do get financial assistance for the baby, sometimes the money gets banked in rather late. I thought something didn’t sound quite right. By right, their financial position shouldn’t as bad as when they were first introduced to me. Obviously Mr. K had finished up his EPF withdrawal, no question about that. But Mr. K’s health had improved quite a bit and the last I knew he managed to find himself a job. Surely their financial position isn’t that bad?

I told the girl I was on my way to another house which is totally the other direction from their house and that I’d try to figure something and call her back later. Before the line was cut off, I managed to hear her saying, “Phone dah tak ada!” Uh oh… that means no way of calling her back.

Actually I was thinking of visiting them next week. We were already on our way to Fuzi’s house up north of Ipoh, so we just went ahead with our original plan. If the girl had called earlier, I probably would have changed my plans and visit Mrs. K’s family first.

We got to Fuzi’s house and right after I honked, Fuzi opened their brand new door, and we were greeted by sweet smiles from Ijam, the HIV+ boy, and Iwan, his younger brother.

When I started to nag Fuzi about losing the keys to the door, Fuzi said she suspected one of the neighbor’s kids took the key. Apparently he’s quite well known for taking things from people’s homes. I don’t know how true it is, but I told Fuzi if she knew she shouldn’t trust the kid, then all the more reason for her to be extra careful and so she shouldn’t leave the keys lying around just like that. Fuzi just smiled without saying anything back – she knew she was at fault.

Anyway, I was more concerned about Ijam’s progress, He has already started taking his medication and when Fuzi showed me the whole stack of medicine for Ijam, I was thinking oh the poor kid… at such a young age he has to take so much medicine… and many times a day too. Fuzi had to set the alarm to make sure Ijam takes his medication on time. As early as 6.30 am she has to wake Ijam for his first dose, 2 more times during the day, and later at 10 pm, when Ijam is already asleep, she has to wake him up again for another dose. I guess probably the medication is not given twice a day like for other HIV patients because Ijam’s still a kid, first time taking medication, and so the medication needs to be given in smaller dosage. But am not a doctor, so I don’t know for sure.

After a while, and looking at the time, I decided maybe I should just go ahead and visit Mrs. K. The trainee didn’t seem to mind either. So we headed back to Ipoh, dropped by our centre to get more groceries, stopped by a sundry shop to buy milk powder, and then headed off to Mrs. K’s house south of Ipoh. It is school holidays and so even if Mr. and Mrs. K are at work, the kids would be home. To my surprise, when we got there, Mrs. K was home. Apparently, she had to take emergency leave as her youngest daughter (now 1 year 5 months old) was down with fever so yesterday she had to take the little girl to the clinic. Mr. K was at work while her eldest son, Shah, went to a fully sponsored motivational camp. Good for him!

While the trainee chatted with Mrs. K’s 6 year old daughter (about the cartoon they were watching on TV!), I had a quiet chat with Mrs. K. She suspects her husband is beginning to take drugs again – albeit on a smaller scale and not by injection. He has a brother and a sister who are drug addicts (I never knew this earlier) and lately he had been getting closer and closer to them. That’s probably how he initially got his supplies. Hmmm… no wonder they are beginning to get into financial problem again. And remember when the daughter called me earlier; she mentioned “phone dah tak ada”? Guess what happened to the phone? Ahah… it’s at the kedai pajak gadai… courtesy of Mr. K...

Shah, their son, had even mentioned to his mother that if things got out of hand again, he wouldn’t hesitate to hit his own father. Shah had seen enough of his mother’s sufferings when his father took drugs earlier and so naturally he didn’t want history to repeat itself. I knew from his reactions earlier that Shah had not really forgiven his father for the earlier episode, and so if Mr. K gets back to his old habit, I doubt Shah will ever forgive him.

Before I left, Mrs. K made me promise not to talk to her husband about his drug problem. She was afraid if he knew she had been telling me about it, she may get into trouble. So I told her that if she can persuade her husband to agree, I can recommend him to the proper people to get him off the habit.

And I thought that part of the problem was already over… sigh!

Anyway, this morning around 7 am, Mrs. K’s daughter called me again - this time to tell me that her baby sister who was down with fever had to be hospitalized. Apparently at around 4 am the little girl was crying and crying and they noticed she was turning blue. So they immediately rushed her to the hospital. I don’t know much detail yet since I didn’t get to speak to Mrs. K (the daughter called from a public phone).

Oh dear, I do hope it’s nothing serious…

Bad luck... careless... or couldn't care less?

I haven’t even had the chance to visit Fuzi since she got a proper door for her house and this morning I received a call from Fuzi.

“Kak, pintu rumah saya kuncinya dah rosak.”

Huh? They just installed the door last week and already rosak? Haiya! Must have been shoddy workmanship or poor quality lock.

Then Fuzi continued…

“Anak kunci pun hari tu orang tu bagi 3 tapi satu dah hilang entah ke mana. Semalam ada orang masuk rumah lagi kak tapi tak ada apa-apa yang hilang.”

Huh? They just gave her the keys last week and already hilang? Haiya! Why lah like this? Everything also she tawakkal without putting any effort to protect her household ka? Susahlah ini macam!

Maybe Fuzi is not too concerned because nothing was stolen this time, but then again, that was probably because she didn’t have much money at home, unlike the last break-in.

I intend to visit her next week. Chances are I will get into my nagging mode.

Sigh… I hate nagging!

Fuzi's unending problems...

Yesterday my friend brought his carpenter friend to Fuzi’s house to check on the repair works that need to be done to her house door. I had told him earlier to get the quotation to get the door fixed so I can get donors willing to sponsor the repair works.

I got a shock when my friend called telling me that the charges (AFTER discount!) is RM5,500 including some repairs to the leaking ceilings. (I guess that puts Fuzi’s house at the same standard as many new government buildings with ceiling bocor everywhere??!) I immediately asked my friend to get the carpenter to give a detailed breakdown of what the charges are for.

Later when I attended my group meeting (to discuss on our PLWHA clients’ progress) I was given the details. At the very top of the piece of paper was written:

8 doors (kayu nyatoh) = RM5,000

Hah? EIGHT doors??! Weyy! I asked them to repair the front door; they want to repair the whole house? Maybe adding the side door is acceptable enough since it is directly accessible from outside and it may need repairs… but replacing every door in the house including the bathroom door, toilet door and bedroom doors? All nyatoh some more?! Whoa…. Ini sudah lebih… even I use PVC or zinc door for my bathroom and toilet! Much cheaper definitely.

The additional RM500 is for the ceiling repairs (which is necessary because one of the ceilings actually fell down, hitting Fuzi’s 10 year old son, resulting in the boy receiving a few stitches to his head).

I told my friend to get even a more detailed quotation (stating how much is needed for each single work to be done instead of having a lump sum for all the doors in the house) and I will choose from the list only the necessary ones. I already have a donor willing to sponsor the front door but that doesn’t mean we can take advantage of the donor!

Anyway, through a fellow volunteer, I was introduced to a lawyer willing to help out with Fuzi’s marriage cert case. Since I promised to fetch Fuzi at home today to bring her to see the lawyer, I decided to check for myself the many doors the carpenter wanted to replace. I suppose he considers the front door as 2 doors (the wide kind), one kitchen door which is never opened, one side door (their main in/out passage), one bathroom door, one toilet door, and 2 bedroom doors. Fuzi said this guy asked to see all doors, so she showed all. Even she mentioned that the doors inside the house need not be repaired/replaced (what more all with nyatoh!), just the front and side doors. So I shall just stick to that, plus the ceiling repairs.

Back to the marriage cert case, I finally brought Fuzi to meet up with the lawyer. Fuzi even has more problems now since the one witness she is in touch with is NOT WILLING to attend the hearing. At first when Fuzi went to see him, he did seem a bit reluctant and gave all sorts of excuses but Fuzi begged him and told him she’d reimburse him with some money. He then said maybe. I guess after talking it over with his family, he decided he didn’t want to get involved. So he called Fuzi and told her so.

We explained the whole story to the lawyer today. She advised that Fuzi explain to the court about the unwillingness of the witness to cooperate and to ask the court to subpoena him. Actually Fuzi is afraid that if she does that, the witness’ family may attack her (verbally lah) at home. As for the other witness, according to this lawyer, Fuzi should just explain that she doesn’t even know who this other witness is. After all, the akad nikah was way back in 1994. The lawyer taught Fuzi what to say etc when she attends the hearing at the end of this month.

During the discussion, the main reason Fuzi had to go through all the hassle was explained to the lawyer. Fuzi’s daughter wanted to do her MyKad and despite her birth cert clearly stating the father’s status and citizenship, and clearly stating too that the child’s citizenship being Malaysian, JPN requested her to fill in a form to confirm that this girl is indeed Malaysian. For that they wanted Fuzi to produce the marriage cert to them, and that’s why Fuzi needs to legalize the marriage cert first.

According to the lawyer, by right with the birth cert clearly indicating her citizenship, Fuzi’s daughter need not fill in the form to confirm the status of her citizenship. So what the lawyer is going to do is, whenever she’s free she will go to JPN and ask them why the need for the confirmation of citizenship status, and if JPN still insists it is still needed, she will ask them to SHOW her which ruling says so.

If this JPN matter can be settled, then there is no urgency for Fuzi to get her marriage cert legalized. As a matter of fact, it may not be necessary at all… except maybe to enable Fuzi to apply for PR status. (Now she has to renew her visa on yearly basis.)

I hope everything will end well… I pening already don’t know how else to help Fuzi and the kids.

HOI! Want to rob, go rob the rich lah!!

No, I’m not saying it is okay to rob or steal or whatever you want to call it. It is wrong no doubt. But if you really have to rob someone, can you please consider who your victims are?! At least Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor!

I was in my office on Friday afternoon when Fuzi called. Her house was broken into (in broad daylight) and the burglar/s managed to get RM300 cash. Fuzi had a few days earlier received her monthly welfare aid (Bantuan Kanak-kanak) of RM400 in cash. That Friday, her son was ill and so she brought him to a clinic. She didn’t dare bring too much cash along with her so she left RM300 at home, slipped under her stack of clothes in the room. When she got back she saw the front door open. She went inside, saw that her room had been ransacked and the cash gone!

My first concern was if any of her children were at home when the burglar/s broke in. Thank goodness they were not. Fuzi sometimes has no choice but to leave her 13 and 12 year old daughters at home by themselves or to take care of the younger siblings when she needs to go anywhere. I can’t imagine what would happen to the girls if the burglar/s had decided to break in when they were inside. Sheesh!!

Of course, to Fuzi the RM300 is a huge amount. Hey, even to me that’s a lot! But her children’s safety is more important.

I think I have mentioned before in one of my earlier postings that the front door to Fuzi’s house is not really a proper door. Definitely not secure enough. It doesn’t even have a lock – just some planks from the inside to avoid people from opening the door from the outside. When I come to visit, she’d remove the planks to open the door and let me in. When the whole family needs to leave the house, they’d have to go out the kitchen door which can be locked from outside.

I have asked a friend before if he could find someone who’d be able to install a proper door to Fuzi’s house at a reasonable price. I needed a quotation to enable me to find a donor willing to sponsor the door. But the guy this friend wanted to recommend always seem to be busy (or maybe because there’s not much money he can get from this job) and has yet to visit the house to assess.

Today I called my friend again – explaining to him what happened and the urgency of getting a proper door for Fuzi’s house. He said he’d try to get somebody else to visit the house and give a quotation. Well, he’d better do that soon.

Poor Fuzi. What with her marriage cert thingy still not settled… now this?

To the burglar/s, whoever you are, I hope by now you’re having dyspepsia at the very least. Anything worse would be better. (I know, I know… I’m being too nice…)

HOI! If you really have to rob, go rob somebody rich lah!! If the occupants of the house can’t even afford a proper door for their house; that obviously means they themselves need the money. CHEH!!

Oh dear, poor Fuzi...

Today Fuzi's case to get her marriage cert legalised was called at the Mahkamah Syariah. I was hoping she could get things settled by today.

I was thinking of waiting until later today to call her and find out the outcome. But just as I was walking back to my office after a coffee break at a nearby restaurant, Fuzi rang up. She sounded so frustrated. Her case is postponed yet again until later this month. She was told to bring along the 2 witnesses to her marriage in Narathiwat Thailand many years ago.

The problem is, she can only get in touch with one of the witnesses who stays quite near her place. The other witness, whom she doesn't personally know (he was a friend of another friend of her late husband) was last known to stay in Kelantan. I was thinking maybe Fuzi could send a registered letter to this witness, but in the Narathiwat marriage cert, his address was only written as Rantau Panjang, Kelantan. So how?

The guy who was supposed to be Fuzi's life saviour (he was the one who offered to help Fuzi settle the matter) asked Fuzi for RM500 so he can go to Rantau Panjang to look for this witness. What does he plan to do? Go to Rantau Panjang and ask from door to door if anyone knew so and so (the witness name)? Fuzi was reluctant to give him the money, saying that there's no guarantee he'd be able to find the witness.

Fuzi then asked if it was possible to check with the registration dept to get the witness' latest address. For that, the guy asked Fuzi for RM200. Seems all the bugger wanted was money and he was taking advantage of Fuzi's desperate situation.

I have never trusted this guy because Fuzi had already given him a total of more than RM1k - all without receipt. Over RM1K just to arrange for the court case. I've told Fuzi I didn't trust that guy. But Fuzi was so desperate to get her marriage cert legalised, she didn't really care. After today's court case and his demand for more money to help her out, Fuzi herself got fed-up. Today she didn't give him any money.

Later today Fuzi called again. She said she had already met up with the witness who is staying in her neighborhood. He has agreed to go but he expects to be compensated as he will have to take the day off (he's doing small-time business). Fair enough, after all he's not asking as much as the scumbag who was supposed to help Fuzi. This witness also mentioned that he knows of a friend who knows the other witness. So he's willing to help get Fuzi to meet up with this friend - hopefully this friend will know how to get hold of the other witness.

At the same time, I'm trying to get help from any syariah lawyers willing to help Fuzi settle the case without having to get both witnesses. I wanted to do that before but Fuzi was confident there was no need for that as she trusted the scumbag would be able to help her.

So no, the case is not settled yet for poor Fuzi...

And oh, since Fuzi was so upset this morning, she totally forgot about the blood tests for herself and her son Ijam and headed right home after the court case. Tomorrow she will have to come to Ipoh again just to get the blood tests done.

Fuzi's anxiety

Fuzi called me yesterday. She just realized that her blood test at the hospital next week so happens to be on the same day as her case at the Mahkamah Syariah. Realizing it just a few days before the day (it’s supposed to be this coming Wednesday), she started to panic - which was why she called me to ask what she should do.

Actually, there’s nothing for Fuzi to worry about. The blood test can be done before or after the specified date as long as the results reach the HIV clinic before her appointment with the doctor. And her appointment is 2 weeks after the blood test, and so there’s ample time.

Unlike some clients who aren’t compliant with their appointments and medications, Fuzi on the other hand is the kind who goes “by the book”. If you tell her 10 am, it’s 10 am. If you tell her tomorrow, it’s tomorrow. If you tell her cannot, it’s cannot. Yep, that’s good really, although at times she tends to panic even when the situation is rather flexible.

Anyway, I told her not to worry and just go to the Mahkamah Syariah first for her case. If the case ends early, then she can go straight to the hospital after that for her blood test. If not, she can always go to the hospital the next day.

Oh, Fuzi will also need to bring Ijam along for the blood test as he needs to get another blood test done before he starts on his medication. That may be a problem as Ijam is afraid of needles. One time when he knew his mother wanted to bring him to the hospital, Fuzi had to chase him around the house to get him. Finally she managed to coax him… I mean… BRIBE him by offering him a new toy if he agreed to go. And he did go. It didn’t matter if Fuzi bought him a cheap toy, as long as it’s a new toy!

I guess for next week’s appointment, Fuzi needs to bribe him with another toy.

I just hope things will go smoothly for Fuzi – her court case and the blood tests for both herself and her son.

Actually I can’t wait for the court case either. I sure hope Fuzi will be able to get her marriage cert legalized at last so she will no longer have to worry about her children’s citizenship status. And I hope the fine imposed on her will not be too high.

Fuzi's family - 2 years later

I was actually planning to visit Fuzi yesterday afternoon – diapers, milk powder and some other foodstuff for the other kids already loaded into my car. But just as I was about to have my lunch, a neighbor called to tell me about the death of one of our kampong folks. I figured it was only right to postpone the visit to Fuzi’s house to visit the family of the deceased instead.

And so I had to wait until today to visit Fuzi to send over the things and also to hand over the pocket money and bus fares for the 3 schooling children. Only Fuzi and her 2 younger children were home when I got there. The other 3 were in school, either for their school’s afternoon session, or for those with morning session, for some extra classes or co-curriculum activities.

I was assigned to be Fuzi’s buddy since 2006. Imagine at that time, the only source of income for Fuzi was the RM115 monthly welfare aid. What could one buy with RM115 per month? Even for one who doesn’t have anybody else to support, RM115 is not enough. Fuzi had to support 5 kids! Worst still, due to her HIV, she couldn’t breastfeed her baby and that meant she needed to buy milk powder too – something which is definitely not cheap. Fuzi couldn’t work, because if she did, nobody would be home to take care of her younger children while the older ones are in school. She did try to apply for jobs at some plant nurseries nearby where she hoped she could bring along her younger kids, but the other workers at the nurseries who knew she had HIV protested to their employer.

How Fuzi and her children managed to survive at that time, I myself wonder. Thank goodness, the teachers at her children’s school were kind and responsible enough to help out where they could.

Now, almost 2 years later, Fuzi’s RM115 welfare aid has been increased to RM400. An anonymous donor who had been following the stories in my blog had also been transferring a fixed amount of money into Fuzi’s bank account on a monthly basis. And beginning this year, Fuzi’s 3 schooling children’s educational needs are fully sponsored through our Education Sponsorship for Children which we managed to finalize late last year.

This is the lonely stretch of road Fuzi's children had to use to cycle to school. No street lamps. Thanks to the Education Sponsorship for Children, we have managed to arrange for school buses for them. A much safer way to go to school!

My heartfelt thanks to all sponsors and not forgetting the anonymous donors who had been contributing in cash and in kinds to help out, not only Fuzi, but other families as well.

Fuzi’s main problem right now is to get her marriage cert legalized so that her children’s citizenship status will no longer be subject to uncertainties. Hopefully the matter will be settled by next month when her case is called at the Syariah Court.

Financially, I am relieved to note that Fuzi is no longer as desperate as she was 2 years ago.

But then again, no money in the world will be able to compensate Ijam, Fuzi’s cute 6 year old boy who has to live with HIV all his life.

Sigh…

Yet another postponement...

When Fuzi’s case at the Mahkamah Syariah last month was postponed to this month, I was hoping she’d be able to settle the whole thing by this month. Unless and until she manages to legalize her Narathiwat marriage cert, her children’s citizenship status will be hanging. No doubt it’s clearly indicated in their birth certs that their father was a Malaysian, but since their father passed away before they were able to do their MyKad, their non-Malaysian mother will have to show a legal marriage cert to be able to confirm that the children are indeed Malaysians.

Well, today her case was supposed to be called. She had arranged for transportation since last week to make sure she wouldn’t be late like last month. She didn’t want her case to be postponed again.

And she wasn’t late. Neither was the guy who was helping her out. They were at the court early, hoping that the case would be called today.

But when they got there, Fuzi was instead asked why she didn’t come on the 20th of February. Her case was supposed to be on the 20th, not 25th!! Fuzi and the guy both confirmed that last month they were told the case was postponed to the 25th, but today they both saw in the register that her case was set on the 20th. Oh dear… how could such a mistake be made? Miscommunication?

So how now? Well, no choice but another postponement!! Poor Fuzi, now she has to wait until April.

On another note, her HIV+ child, Ijam, will have to start on medication soon. He will need to come for another blood test next month before they start giving him his daily dose of medication. It will have to be makan ubat, makan ubat, makan ubat every day without fail all his life from then on.

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Just now Pat called me to inform me about Hana being depressed. Hana was told to bring her son for another blood test. Although the earlier test was non-reactive, the doctor wants her to get him tested again just to be sure. Now Hana is worried her son may be infected. She has still not fully accepted the fact that she herself was infected, now she has to worry about her son. I really hope the son is not infected.

I’m not sure what exactly the doctor said to her, but one thing I know is that Hana usually doesn’t really understand what is being told to her. I will need to find out myself.

There are still many things about Hana I’m not too sure of, especially her past. She doesn’t seem to tell me the whole picture. Instead she only tells bits and pieces here and there. When her 2nd daughter was having problems with her friends in school, she just said she didn’t know why. But after seeing the child’s birth cert indicating “maklumat bapa tidak diketahui”, I suspected that was the problem. Another thing I noticed was that although the child was born in 1999, her registration was only done in 2006 when the girl already needed to go to school!

Hana’s first daughter had a different father’s name. She was the only child from Hana’s first marriage. Hana’s 3rd child, her only son, has a different father’s name. His father, Rashid, died on the 3rd day of Raya last year. The problem now is her 2nd child who doesn’t even have a father’s name in her birth cert.

Now I’ve got more questions playing in my mind. But it’s not easy getting information from Hana…

Aaarrghh!!

I was down with flu the past 2 days. And for the past 2 days too I had to finish a tight-deadline projected financial statement for a business client. Wrong timing sungguh!

Shila called me on Tuesday while I was busy with my work. She was at the hospital for her blood tests and had to wait for an hour for another test to be done. So she called me to see if I was free. But obviously I was not, and had to tell her so.

Yesterday, while I was still busy with my work (while enduring a terrible headache caused by the flu AND work), Fuzi called, also from the hospital. She was there for little Ijam’s appointment. She told me that little Iwan’s milk powder was running low. And she thought since she was already in Ipoh, it would be much easier for me to pass her the monthly supply of milk powder and diapers then.

Actually the milk powder and diapers for her son were already in my car when Fuzi called. But I simply couldn’t afford to meet her at the hospital that morning. Although I managed to finish my work by afternoon, and I could go to her house to send the things over, I simply needed a good rest. I went straight home and tried to get some sleep.

Then the hand phone began to ring. The caller’s number was not stored in my hand phone. Usually I’d still answer if the unfamiliar number was a local number (in case it was someone who got my number from a Buddies brochure), but noticing that the number was a KL number, I simply rejected the call. Not giving up, another call presumably from the same person came in, this time from a land line (the earlier one was from a mobile number). Again, I rejected the call. But whoever this person was didn’t seem to give up. Another call came in immediately after that – this time not to my hand phone but direct to my house phone.

I don’t have caller identification for my house phone, but I assumed it was the same person who was trying to call me on my hand phone earlier. OK, since the caller was persistent I thought maybe the call was important. So I answered the call despite feeling rather drowsy. I needed to get this over and done with rather than having my phone ringing all day long.

A lady at the other end introduced herself as a representative of an insurance company which purportedly has a partnership with my credit card provider. She asked if I could spare a few minutes to listen to her. Huh?! She kept on calling just for that? She couldn’t get me when she called from her mobile line; she called from a land line. She couldn’t get me on my hand phone; she called my house phone number. One call immediately after another – as though it was soooooo important! Oh she was persistent alright. ANNOYINGLY persistent. AAARGH!! Last week I received a call from another company purportedly a partner of the bank which provides my other credit card. Do these credit card providers have the right to give out our phone numbers to others?! CHEH! Can’t they just send us their brochures?

Well, I told the lady off. I was not well, needed the rest and there she was persistently calling me despite her earlier calls being rejected. So my mood memang already not too good lah. To add to that, I think some menopausal signs are beginning to show in me so perhaps I can also blame it on that as well… hahaha!

Well, today I’m feeling a lot better. So after work today I went over to Fuzi’s house to send the milk powder and diapers. When I got there, as usual, I just honked. Usually, the kids would just excitedly open the door. This time however, it took quite some time before somebody opened the door. It was Fuzi’s second child who opened the door telling me that her mother was not home. The girl was probably told not to open the door if anybody came. But when she took a peek through the windows and saw me, she opened the door anyway.

Fuzi was actually at Ijam’s kindergarten as they were having a coloring competition or something like that. I had actually wanted to ask Fuzi about the outcome of Ijam’s hospital appointment, but I guess that will have to wait. I just left the things with the girl.

I will have to follow up on Fuzi later. If I recall correctly, her case at the Mahkamah Syariah is on next week. I am more interested in the outcome of that one…

Another postponement

Last month Fuzi thought she’d be able to legalize her Narathiwat marriage cert when the guy who was helping her out (but asking for all sorts of payments from Fuzi) told her to go to the Mahkamah Syariah on a certain date. It turned out that day all Fuzi had to do was to meet up a particular lawyer who was supposed to help her out. She was then told that her case would be heard on 28th of January 2008.

That was yesterday. Since Fuzi had to go to the Mahkamah Syariah in Ipoh yesterday, her eldest daughter, Wani, 13, had to miss school to take care of her youngest sibling, 20 month old Iwan. But Iwan was not feeling well yesterday and was crying all morning. That caused Fuzi to be late and only managed to get ready after 8.30 am. Worse still, since there was no public transportation at her kampong, she had to depend on teksi sapu to get to town before she could take a bus to come to Ipoh. And there was no teksi sapu in sight when she needed one.

By the time Fuzi reached Ipoh, it was 9.50 am. She was supposed to go together with the guy who had been helping her out, and while she thought she was already late, he came even later than Fuzi. So off they went to the court and by the time they got there, it was already 10.15 am.

They waited, and they waited. One by one case was called up – mostly divorce cases. After some time, Fuzi’s name was still not called. The guy finally went to enquire, and was told that Fuzi’s case was called at 9 am! Since Fuzi wasn’t there, they postponed her case to end of next month! So another month of waiting for Fuzi before she can find out if she can legalize her marriage cert!

I told Fuzi to book a teksi sapu before hand for next month’s court appointment so she won’t be late again!

On another note, Fuzi’s eldest daughter Wani has joined the police cadet for her school co-curriculum activity while Fuzi's 3rd child, Hafiz, joined the boys scout. Great! But what was not great was the fact that the teacher in charge told Wani to get her cadet uniform ready by this Wednesday! At first she was told that she could buy through the school, but later she was informed that she had to buy one on her own. The uniform’s not cheap, and worse, there is no shop in their small town selling these uniforms.

So yesterday afternoon, I brought them to Ipoh to buy the uniforms. Fuzi’s children have already been identified for our Education Sponsorship program; and as such the money for the co-curriculum uniforms can be reimbursed from this fund.

When I got to Fuzi’s house, the children were all ready. Only Wani and Hafiz needed to buy uniforms for their co-curriculum activities, but all 5 kids were excited about going jalan-jalan in my car!

The first shop we went to didn’t have ready made uniforms for police cadet and scout. Theirs were made to order and the uniforms would only be ready in 2 weeks time. When we asked if they knew of any shop selling ready-made uniforms, they all acted as though they didn’t know of any.

We just left the shop anyway, got back into the car and drove off… only to find out that less than 100 metres away, there was another shop specifically selling ready made uniforms!! Surely those at the earlier shop would have seen this shop before???

But if Fuzi had gone by herself, she wouldn’t be able to pay for the uniforms. The complete set for both the police cadet and boys scout uniforms including the shoes and whatever else needed, came up to more than RM250. Thank goodness I will be able to claim the amount later from the sponsorship fund!

I didn’t have the time to take the children for some makan-makan yesterday. It was getting late and I had loads of things to do. So after getting the uniforms, I immediately sent them home.

But Wani and Hafiz were happy enough to get their uniforms while the other 3 kids were happy enough they were able to jalan-jalan somewhere. Initially they thought they were only going shopping at the small town where they live in. So when they found out they were going to Ipoh, they became excited! It is so easy to please them.

Tomorrow I will be meeting up with Lin. Her appointment is supposed to be this Thursday but since Lin had asked SN to change her appointment to Wednesdays (that’s her off day from her newly acquired job as a shop assistant), SN could only manage to slot her name in for the middle of February. But since tomorrow is her off day, Lin will still be coming to Ipoh anyway just to see me.

If you expect to see an update after my date with Lin tomorrow, don’t expect too much, okay? I don’t think I’d be able include any updates on Yah yet. (But I just had to include this one liner… hahaha!!)

So yeah, the title of this posting doesn’t only apply to Fuzi’s date at the Mahkamah Syariah, it also applies to updates on Yah.

Don’t you just love the suspense?? *chuckle*