The children, their schooling, and their fees…

With schools just reopened yesterday, many of “my” children just got their list of workbooks and all sorts of fees they needed to pay to their respective schools. I had wanted to settle all matters regarding the children’s back-to-school expenses before school reopened, but many of them didn’t get their list before the last school holidays. So I could only settle the purchase of uniforms, shoes, etc but had to delay disbursing the amount needed by them to pay to the respective schools.

If only there is a standardise rate for every school, it would be much easier for me to calculate and disburse the sponsorship money to the various families. But no, from what I’ve seen so far, the fees/workbooks vary from as little as RM24 to as high as over RM220 per child. Some schools charge very minimal amount, while some schools charge all sorts of fees to their students.

Since yesterday, one by one I started getting text messages from my clients whose children are under our sponsorship programme, or at least covered by our Children Education Fund for their back-to-school expenses only.

Fuzi’s children seemed to be charged a minimal amount (about RM24). I think probably because their teachers took into consideration the fact that Fuzi is a non-working single mother. They have probably been waived from paying certain categories of fees.

Aini’s children, schooling in Ipoh, seem to have to pay the most, with the one in primary school having to pay the highest ie RM225. I guess that’s because the boy will be sitting for his UPSR this year. Aini’s eldest daughter initially had to pay about RM190, but yesterday Aini informed me that her daughter, this year in form five, got a place at the school hostel and so she needed to pay an additional RM360 for hostel fee. That should be easily covered by the sponsorship amount… otherwise last year her bus fares were RM60 per month. Now that she’s staying at the hostel, we no longer need to cover for her bus fares.

Maya had earlier on gave me a round figure of RM360 for all her children. Lebihkurang, she said. At that time she hadn’t got the list from the schools yet. I told her I wanted details for each child, and not a round total figure for all 4 of them. So today her SMS came, with fees for each child varying from RM54 to RM120. The total definitely more than RM360.

Nuri, Wani, Shila and Hana had also texted me the amount needed for their children’s fees. I also received a text message Asiah, saying that she’d be in Ipoh for her hospital appointment tomorrow and so she wanted to pass me all the receipts for her children – not just for the fees, but also for their uniforms etc. So yep, off to the hospital again tomorrow to meet her.

Just yesterday, I prepared a cheque of RM2,267 for the children's schooling needs under our sponsorship programme. Within just a day, I have to prepare another cheque of RM2,962. And another one close to RM3,000 is to be claimed under the Children Education Fund.

On average, each of these single mothers with 3 or 4 children have to come up with over RM400 per family for their children’s fees/workbooks. Add to that the amount paid for their uniforms, shoes etc bought earlier, how on earth are they going to pay without any financial assistance?

Chances are, without assistance, they’d end up postponing and postponing their payment… then the class teachers (the insensitive ones lah, there are teachers who are understanding enough) would ask the children for the fees right in front of the other students in class… then the children becomes reluctant to go to school… then they’d be branded as students with disciplinary problems. I’ve seen quite a few of such cases.

Which reminds me, I called another client yesterday. This case was referred direct to me by the nurse at the ID clinic. She texted me the client’s details last week, saying that the children needed help. So I called, and found out that the younger child, now 13, has stopped schooling. When asked why, I was told that they hadn’t paid last year’s school fees. Hmmm… didn’t pay last year’s fees and therefore can’t go to school this year? Or didn’t pay last year’s fees and therefore ashamed to go to school this year? Well, I don’t know the details yet. That will have to wait until my assessment visit next week…

Nikmatnya beristeri 4?

♫ ♪♫ Senangnya dalam hati… ♫ ♪♫ kalau beristeri empat… ♫ ♪♫ bila dah sakit kini… ♫ ♪♫ hidup merempat!

(To be sung to the tune of P.Ramlee’s Madu Tiga)

 

Huh? Why am I suddenly going into this madu-madu topic? Is it because of the difficulty to get gula, we now need to use madu?

NO LAH!!

Actually, I was on clinic duty today. Remember Ramli, whom I had met during one of my clinic duties last year, and I posted his story under case #3 here? You probably don’t remember because I never followed up on that story. To recap, here’s a cut and paste version of my earlier posting.

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Ramli came in with a young lady - I thought his wife at first (he was wearing a mask, and he looked quite young behind the mask - hmm... I wonder if I looked young behind the mask too... haha!). Then the young lady introduced herself as his daughter. I looked at Ramli's file, and saw that he's 43. Well, still young, and with a grown up daughter, he must have got married at quite a young age. The daughter who came with him just got married recently.

I then asked how he found out about his HIV infection, and almost choked when his daughter selamba-ly answered, "Sebenarnya masa ayah kawin nombor 4 baru-baru ni kena buat test HIV. Dari situlah dapat tau."

I hope behind my mask they didn't notice my terkejut beruk face. Whoa... in our contact report form which we have to fill up, there is one column for "Spouse's name". Duh, do I now have to change it to "Spouses Names"??

I asked if his family members, especially his wives all know about his HIV infection. Here goes...

Wife #1 (also mother to the daughter who accompanied Ramli): She knows, but has yet to go for testing. 4 children with this wife... all grown up and all know about his HIV.

Wife #2: Also 4 children with this wife, the youngest is 4. All the children are staying with him. I was quite concerned about the 4 year old, but I told them to just get the wife to go for testing, if she's negative, then no need to worry about the kids. The problem is, while the children are with him, the family doesn't know the whereabouts of the wife now. As such, they are unable to get her to go for testing.

Wife #3: No children. It is believed Ramli got HIV from this wife. The wife, a foreigner from a country north of Malaysia, was infected by her earlier husband, but did not inform Ramli about it. She just mentioned she had TB. And she died of TB. Habis cerita.

Wife #4: Of course she knows lah, it was during the mandatory pre-marital testing that Ramli found out he was HIV +ve. But she still married him anyway despite the HIV and the 3 earlier wives...

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That was last year. Today was Ramli’s appointment at the HIV clinic again. This time his situation is different. Last time I saw him, he was still able to walk. Today he was on wheelchair (in fact I was told he’s already bedridden at home). Last time wife #1 & #4 still around, wife #2 missing and wife #3 died. Today even #1 and #4 dah cabut lari! I guess when you’re not loyal, nobody wants to be loyal to you too huh?

Today again he came accompanied by the same daughter who accompanied him the last time. Only difference is, his daughter is pregnant and is expected to deliver anytime soon.

SN referred this case to me again because Ramli’s younger children need help. That would be the 4 children from wife #2 – all of whom are still schooling.

With ALL his wives leaving him (except #3 who died, the rest asked for divorce… including #4 who earlier married him despite knowing of his HIV status), and Ramli being bedridden, who’s to take care of Ramli? Worse, wife #2 not only left Ramli, she left the children with him as well. So who’s taking care of the kids?

Thank goodness Ramli’s daughter from wife #1 is willing to take care of him AND her half sisters/brothers. But she’s not well to do herself – she’s not working and is financially dependent on her husband. And she will be having her own child soon, surely she’d need to spend more on her own child.

I will need to visit them at home first to do an assessment before I decide on anything. Whatever it is, the children must continue schooling. Whatever their parents did, they shouldn’t be deprived of basic education at the very least!

Schooling opportunity

After a three day break from my voluntary work, today I went over to Lin’s house to send this month’s supply of groceries.

And since I wasn’t rushing to go anywhere else after that, today I had ample time to chat with Lin. And so we were chatting about herself and her past.

You know, all the while I thought Lin had at least completed her SPM. She’s quite a smart lady, I must say. The way she handles situations had been quite commendable.

Today I found out that Lin had only completed primary school. Well, she did go to form one for a short while despite her family’s financial difficulties. They couldn’t afford to buy her school uniform, so she used a pinafore handed to her by a neighbour. The pinafore was rather big for her, but having no other choice, she wore it anyway. As for the white blouse underneath the pinafore, Lin wore the same white (but no so white anymore) blouse she had been using in primary school. So there she was, wearing a blouse a few sizes too small and a pinafore a few sized too big.

That wasn’t a problem for Lin. Her problem started when her teacher started asking for the students to pay up their fees. After a while Lin became embarrassed to go to school as she had not paid her fees, and so she stopped schooling ever since. Yep, as simple as that.

She was too young to get herself a job, and so she just stayed home helping her mother. At 17 she started working at a small private soy sauce factory nearby, and at 18 she got married to none other than Mr Darling. And she was an obedient stay-at-home wife, seldom going out anywhere.

So it really amazed me that after her divorce she didn’t just wait for people to come and help her. She went out to find ways and means to earn an income for her family. She wanted her children to go to school despite she herself not having the opportunity to be in secondary school. She saw the importance of education for her children’s future.

Her 3 elder daughters I must say, had been very supportive. Even though they are all still studying in higher learning institutions and cannot afford to help out financially yet, they had always been Lin’s pillars of strength.

Now only her 2 younger children (15 & 13) are at school. And they are both being covered by our sponsorship program and so at least Lin doesn’t have to worry about her children’s schooling needs.

I just hope the children will not waste the opportunity given to them.

The opportunity of going to school is something we tend to take for granted. Let’s not forget that there are people out there who were never given the same opportunity. Let’s make sure people like Lin’s children are not deprived of their rights to go to school. Let’s not just allow them to inherit the poverty their mother inherited from her parents.

Let’s make sure these children go to school and complete at least form 5.

The children

As I was preparing my report on our Sponsorship/Children Education Fund (CEF), I had to go through the files to get the statistics – how many children and how much spent throughout the year.

16 children from 9 families were covered under our Sponsorship program, while another 23 children from 12 families were covered by our CEF. That means we managed to help out with the educational needs of 39 children from 18 different families (a few families overlap – some children covered under Sponsorship and another one or two covered by our CEF). All the while I thought we covered just about 30 children or so – I never realised we’ve reached almost 40!

Out of the 18 families, I’m either the main buddy or co-buddy to 13 of them, although I have met all 18 families, and have visited 14 of their homes – in 10 different towns. And of the 39 children, I’ve personally met 37 of them!

Our CEF actually started much earlier, when Buddies was still under the wings of FHA (Family Health Association, back then known as Family Planning Association). I hadn’t even joined Buddies yet. However, since budget was rather limited, the financial assistance too, was limited as well.

So we started off the Sponsorship Program in 2008, getting individual sponsors to sponsor the needs of individual children, ie 1 sponsor to 1 child. The response was overwhelming!

And during the second half of 2009, we managed to get quite a huge sum from donors, and now we have more money to spend under our CEF as well. Alhamdulillah. So spend on the children we will – but only on their educational needs. We have always believed in the rights of the children to basic education at least – no matter what kind of circumstances their parents are in. It frustrates me every time I hear about children not going to school due to poverty. They will end up inheriting their family’s poverty.

But it can be tough trying to influence some of them, especially if they have already stopped schooling. Somehow they only see the short term – they’d rather work now so they can help their family. Whereas if they think long term, they should be able to help their family better if they get better education!

Mrs K’s son, Shah for example, opted to work even though I advised him to go to Giat Mara for just a 6 months course to enhance his skills and to enable him to get a better job. Devi’s son, who stopped schooling at form one, also chose not to accept our offer to help him get back to school. He’s now doing odd jobs to help his family. In both cases, the parents themselves did not encourage the children to continue studying. I guess they felt they needed their children more to earn income for the family.

Sofie too, almost asked her son, who was then in form 3, to work part-time. Only when I begged her not too, promising I’d try to get financial help for the family, did she agree to let him concentrate on his studies. Now the boy is under sponsorship, and Sofie’s family is also getting some other financial help, so she is no longer thinking of getting the boy to work yet.

I do hope these children will fully utilise the educational help they are getting. I hope they will take the opportunity to do well in their studies, and hopefully after SPM they will also further their studies in higher learning institutions.

I already see hope in Lin’s, Sofie’s, Rosnah’s and Pushpa’s children. Their mothers are not only HIV positive – they are also thinking positive!

The Sponsored Children

I was a bit kelam-kabut when the Education Sponsorship for Children first started. Unlike the Children Education Fund where I could lump up all payments under one account, for Education Sponsorship, I need to make sure there’s a separate account prepared for each particular child/sponsor so that by the end of the year we can send an individual report to each individual sponsor.

I guess that was why when the chairmanship of the NGO was handed over to me, and I handed over the treasurer’s job to a new treasurer, the committee members insisted that I still take care of the Education Sponsorship as it is still in its early stages. (In other words, they don’t want me to pass the headache to them!! Very clever lah these people!)

Well, I have finally managed to draw up a proper system/format for the sponsorship accounts, so now I can easily tell the fund balances for each individual sponsor, and the total sponsorship balances just by a click of the mouse. But I’d better remember to do a backup… all the info are now in my thumb drive, if I lose that, adoii… nangis!!!

Anyway, for the moment we now have 9 sponsored children – and 7 of the sponsors are readers of this blog. Another colleague of mine also managed to find a few other people interested to sponsor a child, and we are now in the process of assessing more children to be sponsored. By next year there will be a few more children under my charge who will be of school-going age, so I may need more sponsors next year.

Who are the 9 children sponsored so far?

3 of them are Fuzi’s children who can now go to school by bus instead of cycling along the lonely road every day. Fuzi can now use the monthly welfare aid for her household needs without having to worry about her children’s educational needs.

2 more children are Hana’s. Her elder daughter now need not worry about her monthly tuition fee as it is covered by the sponsorship money. But we are still unable to get a school bus/van for the younger daughter despite having the funds because so far none of the bus/van drivers approached wants to go to their area! So the little girl still has to walk to school every day. I am not too worried about the distance as she is used to it, but I am more worried about her safety, especially when her mother is at work and the girl walks alone to school. Just thinking about it gives me the creeps!!

Another 2 covered by sponsorship are Valli’s 2 boys. A whole load of burden is off Valli’s shoulders now that she doesn't have to worry about her sons’ bus fares and pocket money.

Shila’s daughter Laila is another child sponsored. Shila has told me that whatever amount of pocket money not used up by Laila in school will be kept in the girl’s savings account so she can use it for her future needs, when the sponsorship period is over (sponsorship is until she finishes school – it does not cover further education).

The 9th child sponsored is Pushpa the orphan. Her grandmother does not have any fixed monthly income… while her uncle has his own children to support. With the child’s schooling needs covered, her grandmother and uncle need not worry about her educational needs anymore.

To all the sponsors, if you’re reading this, YOU have made a whole lot of difference in the lives of these children.

On behalf of all the children and their families…

THANK YOU!!

Stressed!!

This has been another hectic week for me.

At the office, December and January have always been a peak period for secretarial and accounting firms. Clients’ financial reports to be written up and audited, annual returns to be submitted to ROC, income tax returns to be submitted to the IRD… Aargh! Deadlines to meet made worse by the inability of the old PCs in my office to cope with the heavy load on our computerized accounting system. There were times when I felt like throwing the PCs out of the window… but then I remembered if I did that, the PCs may hit my car parked down there…

In my voluntary work, by virtue of having the most children to look after, December and January are also rather hectic – shopping for their schooling needs; and when school reopens, their fees, workbooks, exercise books and other school requirements that need to be paid. Worse still, this year, the amount needed is only made known when school reopened yesterday. So, calls/SMSes kept coming in these past 2 days.

I am a bit stressed out this week. I think my blood going upstairs lah!! Yeah, I must always remember to de-stress from time to time. And how do you think I de-stress? What?? Go karaoke-ing like Yah??! No way! I may cause a thunderstorm!

To de-stress, I go blog lah!! No, no, I’m not a goblok! I go BLOG! I need to let it out of my clogged system!

So here I am blogging, despite having other things to do.

Remember in my previous posting, I mentioned about telling Yah to pay first and then inform me the amount and details of whatever that needs to be paid to Abang Chik’s school? Well, yesterday morning, she sent me a text message, “Dah bayar dah duit sekolah Abang Chik.” That’s it. Fullstop. No amount. No details.

I had to reply her message; asking for the amount, only then she’d give me the amount. Couldn’t she have saved the cost of one SMS by straight way mentioning the amount in the first message?!

Asiah too called me yesterday. With 4 schooling children, she had to borrow around some money first to pay for their schooling needs. With 2 in secondary school and 2 in primary, she had to fork out quite a lot of money every time school reopens. Being more systematic, Asiah had listed down everything and compiled all the receipts and asked if she could meet me today (Friday) to pass the receipts and all to me. She’s on leave until Friday and her next trip to Ipoh will only be in February.

Later when I was at the bank, banking in my mom’s pension, Fuzi called. Apparently, she had to pay more than anticipated. Worse still, her 12 year old daughter was NOT given the supposedly free text books by her class teacher. Reason given – her mother is not a Malaysian citizen. Whaddaheck?! Fuzi may not be a Malaysian, but her daughter’s birth cert clearly indicated she’s a Malaysian by virtue of having a Malaysian father!! Just because her mother/guardian is a non-citizen, she is not qualified to get free text books? And the children of rich people are given text books free?!

Funny thing was that her younger brother, studying at the very same school, was given free text books by his class teacher! What… same school, different guidelines? Oh come on!! I told Fuzi to go see the headmaster direct to clear the matter. I will have to check with her again later on the outcome.

Anyway, when I went to my NGO center yesterday, my colleague told me that Yah called him earlier to ask about her SOCSO application which my colleague helped to arrange. During that call, she told my colleague she was out in town with her “pakwe”. When he asked if she went home, she said, “Semalam balik.” Ayoma??? Semalam balik today tada balik ka??!

Looks like ever since I gave her that piece of advice when she sought my help regarding her angau problem, Yah is afraid to tell me what she does anymore, but is not afraid to tell others. She told Fuzi about going for karaoke, and she told this colleague of mine (a male non-Muslim) about going out with guys. And before you think she went out with Mr. Darling again, no, I don’t think so. As I had mentioned before, Mr. Darling had changed his phone number after Yah refused to have sex with him. And it seems Yah too has been out having fun in other towns, far from the town Mr. Darling stays/works in.

Looks like Yah took my advice to try and forget Mr. Darling. But that was about all the advice she took. I told her to seek help from God. I told her to find a job to keep herself busy so she can forget Mr. Darling. Yah, instead, has her own ways in trying to forget Mr. Darling. She goes out with other men to have some fun – something she had never done before!

Even Fuzi noticed the change in Yah – inside out!!

On the inside: from a tough, responsible and determined woman, she has become like a troubled teenager – rimas dok rumah… takut kena marah… tidur rumah kawan. She’s acting like she has no children… except when she needs financial help for the children. I suppose she’s afraid if she has to pay so much for the children, she may not have enough to spend outside to de-stress herself. (Too bad she doesn’t de-stress like I do – maybe I need to teach her to blog? Or will that only lead her to spend most of her time at a cyber café?)

On the outside: Yah used to be the typical “kampong girl” – with her baju kurung and tudung wherever she went. Even at the Lost World of Tambun when I myself transformed from my usual jubah and tudung labuh to a more suitable clothing to have fun around the park; Yah was still in her baju kurung and tudung. After she met Mr. Darling, it’s now t-shirt and jeans. Tudung also melayang already…

Oh ok, enough about Yah. Let’s go on to Asiah. Alamak, the name still rhymes. Please don’t get confused!

Today, Asiah came up to Ipoh. Initially she was supposed to come alone by bus. I promised to fetch her at the bus station. This morning, she called me to inform me that she was already on the way and that she came by motorbike with her husband. Asiah’s husband always tends to change his mind at the very last minute. Like the Family Day, initially he allowed Asiah to go with her children. (Her children are all from her late husband. She has none with her present husband.) Then, a day before the event, he said no.

For your info, Asiah was infected with HIV by her late husband. She later got remarried to an elderly man (used to kerja kampong but now no longer working), who’s also somebody else’s husband. In such a situation, with her HIV and all, I guess it’s no surprise that she has problems in her marriage. On the brighter side, Asiah thinks it’s good in a way that whenever people commented that she’s losing weight, she’d rather have them think it was because of her marriage problems, not because of HIV.

According to Asiah, her husband tends to be overly jealous at times. He’s an elderly man, while Asiah is not only young (she’s 38) but also beautiful. And I tell you she has got such a lovely complexion! No wonder the husband’s so jealous! He’s probably afraid many guys out there may fall for Asiah too just like he did after Asiah’s first husband died!!

Anyway, back to today, since she was not going to the bus station, we agreed to meet elsewhere. When I got there and asked where her husband was, Asiah said, “Dia segan nak jumpa akak. Dia tunggu kat motor.”

Alahai, segan? Ah, lantak dia lah! I still took Asiah to have a drink at the food court. Let her husband wait. He knew Asiah was meeting a woman, not a man. And he has met me once before at the HIV clinic when he accompanied Asiah for her appointment.

At least by having a drink, we could still chit chat a bit instead of just reimbursing her with the amount she had to pay first for her children’s schooling needs. But I didn’t dare let her stay long. Before her husband bising, might as well tell her to go off. Otherwise next time he may not even allow her to see me.

We promised to catch up with each other when she comes to Ipoh again in February.

OK, now my blood no longer upstairs. I can sign off now... hehehe...

Back to school: house visits and shopping!

This week is the “back to school” rounds for me. Despite not having any children of my own, somehow there are so many children’s educational needs I have to look after. Thank goodness the welfare of Hana’s children is being looked after by Pat, a fellow volunteer who stays in the same town as Hana.

My first visit this week was on Monday to Mrs. K’s house. I dropped by their house after settling some things to do in another town near their place. Although the main reason for the visit was to bring this month’s supply of diapers, milk powder and groceries, I also needed to make sure the children’s educational needs are met.

They have yet to buy the necessary school necessities. Mrs. K said she wanted to go after Christmas. Since I didn’t have the time to bring them out to shop for their uniforms etc, I gave Mrs. K some money first and told her to get the necessary receipts when she buys the schooling necessities.

Mrs. K’s second child will be in form one in 2008, so she definitely cannot use her old uniforms. When I asked for the list provided by the school for things to be bought at the school co-op and fees to be paid to the school, what was shown to me confirmed my doubts when the budget was announced earlier about school fees being abolished. I knew all along that amongst the fees that needed to be paid to the school, only a small amount consists of “school fees”. And so that means only a small portion need not be paid this coming year, the rest are just the same.

Included in the list of “compulsory contribution” were fees for the school’s internal exams, Majlis Sukan Negeri, co-curriculum and school magazine. In addition there are workbooks and sports attire that must be bought from the school co-op, not from anywhere else. So Mrs. K’s daughter’s list totaled to almost RM100. And while it’s true that certain fees/contribution need not necessary be paid if they can’t afford it, in reality many children do get pressured by their class teacher to pay up even the so-called “derma” PIBG. True, the school can’t do anything if the students don’t pay up, but when the children get pressured by their teachers, don’t you think they will become reluctant to go to school?

Well, I do hope Mrs. K’s daughter will get more understanding teachers… unlike the teachers at her brother’s school who kept pressuring him last year.

My next visit was to Shila’s house on Christmas day. Shila had been unwell and the visit was mainly to find out how she was doing. Initially Shila thought she had measles. While her fever subsided, the so-called measles did not. When she showed me her legs, I knew it wasn’t measles. It looked reddish here and there and some blue-black here and there. It was either some side effects from the HIV medication which she just started to take about 2 weeks ago… or she may have some other blood related problems. But no, definitely not measles. Her appointment at the HIV clinic will be some time in January 2008 but I told her to call SN the very next morning to get an earlier appointment. Shila’s mother actually suggested that Shila stopped taking the medication but I told her to consult the HIV clinic before she takes any action on her own.

Anyway, Shila had already bought Laila’s schooling needs and showed me the list provided by the school. I reimbursed Shila (and my NGO will have to reimburse me later) a total amount of RM220. And Laila’s only going to be in standard 2…

Then last night, at midnight while I was asleep, a text message came in on my hand phone. Being the light sleeper that I am, I woke up at the sound of the SMS tone. (My hand phone is on 24/7 in case of emergencies.) With my blurry vision (especially so when I was just partially awaken from my precious sleep!) and without my reading glasses anywhere near, I could only figure out it had something to do with joining the Buddies. I just went back to sleep… if it was an emergency that person would have called.

This morning when I was fully awake, and with reading glasses on, I read the message:
“Saya xxxx (name of the person). Saya nak tau macam mana nak join the buddies.”

I wasn’t really sure what this person wanted. To join Buddies as a volunteer or to seek our support services? So I replied her message asking if she wanted to join us as a volunteer.

Her reply came when I was at my office this morning:
“Tak… saya ada hiv… saya dapat dari suami yang tak bertanggungjawab… saya rasa tertekan sangat…”

I told her I’d call her later today. I was pretty busy in my office this morning with calls coming in and my staff consulting me with lots of things, so there was not enough privacy to talk with a depressed HIV infected person. The lady told me the best time to call would be between 3 to 4 pm.

Anyway, I promised Fuzi I’d bring her and her children to go shopping for schooling needs today, so after lunch and after my zuhr prayer, off I went to fetch them. They were already waiting outside their house when I got there. House already locked, all set to go!

While in the car, Fuzi told me she met up with Yah at the hospital a few weeks ago. Yah told Fuzi that I was upset with her. Hah! At least even with her lack of focus, Yah noticed I was upset with her! Fuzi told me that once Yah even called her asking if she could sleep over at Fuzi’s house. Not knowing anything, Fuzi just said yes. But Yah didn’t call again later, so I guess she slept over at somebody else’s house.

Even Fuzi noticed that Yah seemed to spend a lot of time elsewhere instead of at home where her children are. And one thing Yah never dared tell me was that some of her out-of-town visits were not really necessary. She went karaoke-ing!!! She has 4 children at home… she gets welfare help… her 2 older children wants to go to an orphanage… AND SHE WENT KARAOKE-ING????!!! And then asked Fuzi if she could sleep over at Fuzi’s house? Is that her way of trying to get Mr. Darling out of her mind?! Sheeesh!

Anyway, let’s forget about Yah for the moment. Let’s get back to Fuzi’s children. Brought them to a hypermarket, and let them choose their needs. It wasn’t an easy task when you have to buy schooling needs for 1 secondary school child, 2 primary school kids and 1 more going into kindergarten. The one for kindergarten needed shoes, socks, stationeries and school bag. The rest needed uniforms, shoes, socks, stationeries and school bags.

While waiting for them to find the various sizes for themselves, I decided to go to a quiet corner and call the depressed lady. I just needed to find out some basic info first and then follow up with her later.

Lin is a 41 year old lady with 6 children – ranging from 10 to 20 years old. She got my number from the HIV clinic. She is no longer staying with her husband. (She said dah berpisah, but I’m not too sure if she meant divorced or separated – cannot drill her with too many questions just yet) Lin was a full time housewife, so after her separation, she and her children had been staying with Lin’s 70 year old father. Her husband gives them money once in a while, as and when he likes… as and when he has money.

Since Lin stays in another town, and I am a bit tied up for the moment to visit her at her house, I asked if she’d be coming to Ipoh anytime soon. She is supposed to come for her blood test some time in early January, I asked her to call me then so we could meet up. It is much easier to talk face to face rather than on the phone.

So, more about Lin later after I meet up with her…

Back to Fuzi and her children… again…

After getting all the necessary schooling items, plus diapers and milk powder for little Iwan, off we went to the counter to pay. Today being a working day and after Christmas, the queue wasn’t too bad. And the bill… came up to… a whopping RM600 - for Fuzi’s children alone… and we haven’t included the amount that needs to be paid to their school yet!

Then I took them to the food court for some makan-makan and minum-minum before sending them back home. And before I went off, I left Fuzi whatever necessary amount that’s needed to be paid to the school.

I think this weekend I should be able to relax a bit… or at least I hope so…

The children's exam results...

School holidays are here…

For the past 2 days I’ve been getting calls from a few of my PLWHA clients telling me of their children’s academic performance. I also need to start filling in the necessary forms to arrange for financial assistance for these children for next year’s schooling.

Yah was the first to call. She seems a bit more independent now financially and called me to say that she has bought milk powder for her youngest child. She was concerned that it may be rather troublesome for me to go all the way to her place to send her the usual household needs. At the same time her daughter had been nagging her to call me and tell me about the results of her year-end school exams. In the mid-year exams, both Kak Long and Kak Ngah got second in class. This time around, Kak Long maintained her second position while Kak Ngah… oh well… she was top in class!! Way to go Kak Ngah and Kak Long!! I must think of some sort of motivation for them. What shall I give them ya??

Fuzi’s eldest daughter, Wina, just got her UPSR results yesterday. She got 3A’s and 2B’s; the B’s were for English and Science. With most of the students in her school getting mostly 1 or 2 A’s, Wina was one of the better students. I am happy for her.

Mrs. K too has a daughter who took UPSR this year. The girl managed 2A’s and 3B’s. For someone who had to miss school quite often this year to take care of her younger siblings whenever her father had to be hospitalised, that was quite an achievement. And her teacher told her to fill in the form for application to one of the SMKA boarding schools in Perak. (The minimum qualification for SMKA’s is 2A’s 3B’s) When I heard that, I immediately thought of getting Wina to apply for the same as she wants so much to go to a boarding school, but then I remembered Wina is still having problems with her citizenship status (due to Fuzi’s marriage cert problem). Oh well, maybe she can try later for form 4 intake when Fuzi has settled that problem.

Hana’s 8 year old daughter (the one who had to walk to school) as mentioned in my previous posting, got 2nd in class. I am quite concerned that of late she had been quite reluctant to go to school.

These children seem to be doing quite well in school despite the non-conducive environment they stay in. If only they get the chance, I believe they can perform even better.

So yes, I must be very persistent in getting the necessary financial assistance for the children’s education! Aaargh… am trying to finalize the list of needy children as soon as possible but can’t seem to find enough time to do all the house visits for assessment purposes…

One family at a time Pi… one family at a time…

Sponsor a child, anyone?

It has been 8 months since I started this blog. I’ve done more than 100 postings (this one’s the 108th), the bulk of which were true stories about HIV infected people and their families whom I’ve been dealing with in my voluntary work.

If you have been following the stories, you would have noticed that many of the families under my charge are poor families, mostly single mothers who had to take over the responsibility as breadwinners for their families; and not earning enough to cover all their needs.

You may have read about:

• The children who were reluctant to go to school because they were pressured by their teachers to pay for the various fees.
• The children who were told to buy additional books which were not even listed in the list given earlier by the school. And then get scolded when they don’t buy the books without even the teacher asking why he/she didn’t buy the book.
• The children who were told to join uniformed co-curriculum activities in school but can’t afford to pay for the uniforms?
• The small children who had to walk to school, exposing themselves to dangers lurking around.
• The children who were pressured by their van/bus drivers to pay up the monthly van/bus fares.
• The children who had to actually miss school because they had no transport to go to school and would only go to school if there was anybody they could hitch a hike from.
• The children who needed tuition but whose parents can’t afford to pay for the tuition fees.
  

And God knows what other difficulties they face…

Education is a must for these children. It is a BASIC necessity for them. No matter what their parents had done, no matter what their background is, these children still deserve the chance to get at least basic education without getting unnecessary pressure… without exposing themselves to danger (by having to walk alone to school because parents can’t afford transport fares)…

If you can afford to help these children, will you?

My NGO has just finalized the guidelines for our Education Sponsorship for Children, where we hope to get individual sponsors for each individual child to sponsor their school needs until these children finish schooling. Amongst the expenses to be covered include the various fees that need to be paid to the school (there may be no more school fees and exam fees but I believe there are still lots of other fees – co-op, computer, co-curriculum etc), exercise books, workbooks, uniforms, shoes, bags, stationeries, van/bus fares or other means of transportation, tuition fees, pocket money and whatever other necessities.

Interested to sponsor a child? Or you have some queries on this?

Please email hivbuddiesipoh@yahoo.com .

More details will be given to those who indicate their interest to the above email address.

Free education? More help for the poor?

So, the yearly school fees have been abolished. Last year the exam fees were abolished. Text books will be made available to all. And the reports say we now have FREE primary and secondary education.

Really?

I have seen various lists given by various schools to their students at the end of last year and the school fees were only a small fraction of the total amount that the students need to pay. The fact that different amount needs to be paid by students of different schools shows that whatever fees that need to be paid or things that need to be bought are determined by the respective schools.

Let me recall the various items that I’ve seen on the various lists provided by the various schools…

They have PTA fees… tuition fees… computer fees… co-curriculum fees… and whatever else they can think of. In addition, the students must buy exercise books and a whole load of workbooks, some are written as optional, but most are compulsory.

There you go… that’s called FREE education.

OK fine, so some NGOs like mine try to help out by providing financial assistance through our Children Education Fund and the likes…

But just when we thought we settled their schooling needs, after a few months we find out that some of them are required by their class teachers to buy certain other books… not as an optional additional book, but a MUST for them to buy to be used in class. They even get scolded when they don’t buy the book.

I have to admit, there are some dedicated teachers from some schools who’d go out of their way to help the poor students. They visit the students at home if the students don’t turn up in school for a few days. They find out the family’s background if the students don’t pay their fees. But there are also teachers who don’t think of their students’ welfare and simply assume that these students lack discipline.

Speaking of visiting the students at home, it’s not what the teachers are paid to do, right? It’s just a social responsibility. Since the teachers are already burdened with a whole load of other things to do, I shall not say anything further on that.

So let me just move on to another issue… welfare.

Just recently my colleague who’s in charge of client’s welfare, liaised with the Welfare Department, asking about the status of Fuzi’s welfare aid. He was told that Fuzi’s monthly welfare aid (of RM115 per month to feed 5 kids) had been extended for another 6 months. But Fuzi has not been getting the monthly financial aid on a regular basis and I think I’ve highlighted this story a few times already.

What we’re trying to do now is to get Bantuan Kanak-kanak (BKK) for the single mothers like Fuzi instead of Bantuan Am. They’d be able to get more through BKK. My colleague asked the officer why Fuzi was given Bantuan Am instead of BKK. He was instead asked by the officer why Fuzi herself didn’t come to the welfare office to apply. God knows Fuzi had been to the welfare office before. She came in the morning; the officer was not in yet. The other staffs don’t seem to be able to help, only this ONE officer. She waited and waited, and finally she was told to come back after 2 pm. Since it was troublesome for her to go home first, she waited until 2 pm. Still, no sign of the officer-in-charge. Then she was told the officer had a meeting to attend.

When my colleague told this story to the officer he was liaising with, the lady officer asked, “Kenapa dia tak telefon dulu?” Yeah right… my colleague (who is OKU himself) had his own share of making appointments but still end up with disappointments! Most of the time, the officer-in-charge is in a meeting called at the very last minute.

My colleague then asked why the officers from the welfare department can’t visit Fuzi at home instead. Surely they’d need to assess the family instead of just interviewing Fuzi at their office. And guess what was the answer given to my colleague?

“Tak ada masa. Tengah sibuk sangat ni.”

Hmmmph!

So, while I am not complaining about the Budget, I am very, very skeptical about the funds reaching the intended recipients.

Will the hard core poor really benefit? For the moment I will just have to wait and see…

Shah's teenage life vs my teenage life

I visited Mr. & Mrs. K’s family last Saturday morning after my usual Pasar Tani shopping. When I got there, the couple’s 5 year old girl opened the door for me. I’m already a regular by now, so she’d open the door for me even if her parents are not around. Mrs. K just got back from work (she was on night shift) while Mr. K was helping to clear the mess at their home (I didn’t tell them I was coming!).

I noticed their 2 older children were not around. Apparently their 12 year old daughter was at school for extra classes while their eldest son, 16 year old Shah was out doing odd jobs to earn extra income for the family. That’s his normal routine on weekends.

I pity Shah. He doesn’t seem to enjoy his teenage life. While other teenagers his age tend to either relax at home or go out to enjoy themselves on weekends, he instead had to work to help his family. No, his parents did not force him. He himself couldn’t bear to see his mother being the family’s sole breadwinner. Mr. K is no longer in a position to work. Looking at his supply of medication (for TB, hepatitis and HIV), if I were him I think I may need a HUGE mug of water (just slightly smaller than a jug I think) to get all the pills in without getting stuck in my throat!! BURP!!!

What kind of odd jobs has Shah been doing? Most of the time helping out food caterers; and if the catering job is for a night function on a Sunday, he’d usually come home very late and miss school on Monday. That’s normal for him.

Shah is also usually my contact person with the family. He’d be the one calling me or sending me messages when the family needs anything. When his mother gave birth to the youngest child in January this year, Shah came down and waited for me downstairs to make sure I didn’t have any trouble looking for the room where his mother was warded. That week he and his sister missed school the whole week. While Mrs. K was at the maternity ward, Mr. K too was warded at the men’s medical ward. So Shah spent the week at the hospital, day time accompanying his mother and night time sleeping on a chair besides his father’s bed in the men’s ward.

His 12 year old sister had to stay home to look after the 5 year old girl – just the 2 of them at home. Thank goodness a kind neighbor dropped by from time to time to send them some food to eat. Otherwise, the 12 year old would just cook some rice and fry some eggs, or they’d just eat instant noodles.

Things seem better now. Although at times they still run short of money to buy food and household necessities, at least things weren’t as bad as when they were almost chased out of the house for not paying their house rental. Shah’s income from the odd jobs he’s been doing is usually used to buy foodstuff or any schooling needs. I don’t know, somehow some school teachers like to force them to buy all sorts of additional books without taking into consideration that some of the students may not be able to afford it. Some of the books listed under the school’s list of compulsory workbooks bought at the beginning of the year are not even used, and yet additional books are to be bought at the decision of the individual teachers. Can’t they just use the books which were listed by the school?

There was once when Shah didn’t buy a particular book which his teacher had been telling him to buy. He didn’t tell his parents about it as he knew they were broke. He didn’t tell me either as he thought I had already helped too much. All his other classmates had bought the book by then. As a result, Shah got a spanking from his teacher, right in front of his other classmates. And we're talking about 16 year olds here... what kind of psychological effect do you think it would have on Shah? Being penalized for not being able to afford the book is simply unacceptable (to me at least!). If they had included the book in the booklist the school provided earlier then it would have already been covered by my NGO’s CEF!

I can really understand why Shah is reluctant to go to school but I must make him understand the importance of education. But his teachers are not helping at all…

Thinking about it, I had such a blessed teenage life. Oh yes, I complained about a lot of things, but back then I never had the opportunity to see the sufferings of the unfortunates. I never had to work when I was a teenager. I never got a spanking for not buying books and other schooling necessities. I forgot to be thankful for all the things I had. I took them all for granted. My parents may not be rich but they could still buy whatever necessities for their children, albeit on a tight budget.

But Shah’s family doesn’t even have a proper budget to start with.

If I had to go through a teenage life such as Shah’s, I don’t know what would become of me by now. But I didn’t have to go through all that. And for that I’m so thankful!

To show my gratitude, I must now try my best to make sure that these unfortunate children be given the necessary assistance to make up for all the things that had been lacking in their childhood and teenage life.

Care to join me anyone?

The children & their education

One of my NGO’s main concerns when helping out the children of the families under our care is to ensure that all the infected and affected children are not deprived of basic education at the very least. Every child has a right to education and should be given that chance. There should not be any reason whatsoever, not for financial reasons especially, for the child to be left out or to drop out of school. They MUST go to school!

That was the reason behind the setting up of our Children Education Fund (CEF) – to provide school bags, work-books, school shoes and uniforms, bus fares, school fees and other basic schooling needs for the children.

However, for hard core poor families, even the CEF is not enough. The CEF only covers basic needs – the children may have additional needs like pocket money, and for those taking major exams, they may need extra books, tuition etc. This is why we are now in the process of finalizing a “Sponsorship for Education” program for the children where we hope to get a donor to sponsor each particular child’s entire education. Some sort of an adoption program, but for sponsorship purposes only. I’ve been entrusted to coordinate this program… hopefully it will take off within this year. Anyone interested?

Of the 34 children from the families under my care, 21 are schooling, and 11 are getting CEF for this year. There are 6 or 7 other children under the care of other volunteers who have also been granted CEF for this year. I believe by next year more will need financial assistance for their schooling.

However, there are a few of these children who have already been blacklisted by their teachers that even after they get the CEF, they are still reluctant to go to school.

Take Shah for example, last year he had to take his PMR. His family couldn’t afford to pay bus fares, so he had to depend on a neighbour who’d give him a lift IF the neighbour so happened to pass the way to his school. Otherwise, Shah would miss school. Because of that Shah missed school quite a lot, and every time he did go to school, he’d get a scolding by his teacher. And his teacher also kept pestering him to pay school fees. Never once did any of the teachers pay him a visit at home to find out WHY he had missed school and why he had not been paying his fees.

Beginning this year, his fees and bus fares are covered by our CEF, but Shah has no more interest in his studies and the fact that he had missed out quite a lot last year has resulted in him being rather slow in catching up with his studies – and as a result, he is STILL reluctant to go to school for he still gets scolded by his teachers every time he does go to school. I was told that recently he got a warning letter from the school to either come to school or gets kicked out permanently. That means, without my knowledge, Shah has still been missing school despite his fees and bus fares already being paid for. I understand it’s not easy for him. He needs motivation, lots of them.

But it is not easy to motivate a 16 year old boy who had gone through such misery as Shah had – I think deep down inside him he still blames his father (for taking drugs) for all his family’s sufferings. Every time Shah wanted to explain to me something that happened in the past, he’d start with, “Masa Ayah buat perangai dulu…”

Another PLWHA, Baayah who is under the care of another volunteer, has a 13 year old daughter who is also reluctant to go to school because of her teacher’s constant pestering asking her to pay up her school fees. By now, her fees have been covered by our CEF, but since the girl is not under my care, I’m not quite sure what the latest situation for her is.

In the case of Fuzi’s 9 year old son, last year he refused to go to school beginning the month of May right until the end of the year, for reasons only he knew. His teachers were more understanding - they came to Fuzi’s house to find out why he didn’t want to go to school and in fact they offered assistance for the family. They even offered to buy him a bicycle if he agreed to go back to school. But the boy simply refused. It took a lot of coaxing [and threats?! ;)] on my part at the end of last year to get him to go back to school beginning this year. Thank God he finally agreed. And as an insentive, I gave one of the 4 bicycles donated by a Good Samaritan to him. According to Fuzi, the boy no longer has problems of not wanting to go to school. I guess it is much easier to coax a young boy to go to school rather than trying to influence and motivate teenagers like Shah and Baayah’s daughter…

It gives me joy whenever any of “my” children enjoys going to school. When they enjoy schooling, usually they’d perform quite well in their studies. Fuzi’s eldest daughter, Wina, not only does fairly well in her studies, she’s also rather active in co-curricular activities. Yah’s 2 daughters too seem to be doing well despite just losing their father late last year and moving into a new school… both of them got second in their respective classes for their school exams recently. As for Yah’s 3rd child, the only boy, I think he has other problems that need to be dealt with… I will try to get help for him for his lack of attention span and his hyper activeness.

I noticed Lily’s children too seemed to understand the importance of education. They had in fact asked for tuition so they can perform better in certain subjects they feel they are weak in.

Coming from poor HIV affected families, these children’s future depend a whole lot on their education. Let’s not deprive them of their basic needs…

For The Future of The Children

Ever since I got involved in HIV related work, the thing that has bothered me most is the future of the infected and affected children.

The clients currently assigned to me involve a total of 29 children. Out of these, only 6 of them (from 2 families) are from average-income group. Both families involve fathers/step-fathers who are not HIV infected. The mothers got HIV from their earlier marriage and only found out about their HIV status when they got pregnant through their second marriage. The fathers/step-fathers can still work and support the family. [However, there are other issues the HIV+ wives need to deal with when their husbands are not infected... I will talk about that in a different posting.]

The other 23 children are from lower income or very poor families with uneducated single mothers, or, for those whose fathers are still around, the fathers are already too weak to work, or unable to get jobs because of their IVDU history.

The statistics given above are only from the small group of families who are assigned to me. Can you imagine how many other families out there who are facing the same problem?

So, how do these families survive?

Let me just give you a few examples from the families I'm handling.

Case 1:
Mr and Mrs A are both positive. In addition to HIV, Mr A also has some mental problems and had been admitted to Hospital Bahagia before. Mrs A worked as a cleaner in a school, but had to quit after she delivered a baby girl and her husband's condition worsened. The only source of income is the monthly financial aid of RM120 from the Welfare Department. Other than the baby, they also have 3 other children. The house is their family house, so no rental involved. But food, utilities, schooling needs, baby's needs (the mother cannot breastfeed the baby because of her HIV status), travelling expenses to hospital... with RM120 a month?

Case 2:
Mr K used to be a drug addict (IVDU). He is now diagnosed HIV+ and has other health problems as well (TB, Hepatitis etc). Mrs K has been tested negative and works as a factory operator. Earlier on when Mr K was still on drugs, Mrs K was so desperate for money to feed her children and to pay for the household needs, she resorted to borrowing from an unlicensed money lender. Now the money lender keeps her bank book and her ATM card. Every month he'll take the interest amount and only gives her the balance of her pay. Her take home pay as indicated in her salary slip is only about RM330 per month. After deduction by the money lender, she'll get sometimes less than RM100 per month. With 4 children to feed (3 of whom are schooling), house rental of RM180 per month, utilities, school bus fares, travelling expenses to hospital... you wonder how they survive. In this case, the eldest son is already thinking of quitting school for various reasons. One reason is he always get scolded by the school teacher for not paying his fees and for always missing school (he missed school quite a lot last year because they couldn't afford to pay for bus fares). The other reason is he wants to work to help lessen the family's financial burden.

Case 3:
Fuzi is an Indonesian citizen. She married a Malaysian but has yet to obtain PR status. Her husband died 2 years ago. After her husband died, someone broke into her house and raped her. As a result, she got pregnant... and HIV. The whole neighbourhood knows about her HIV status and her illegitimate child. She couldn't get a job anywhere in the neighbourhood due to her HIV status. She couldn't work outside the neighbourhood either as there'll be nobody taking care of her baby (and I must tell you the baby is soooooo adorable!!). She doesn't have to pay for rental as the house she's staying in belonged to her late husband. Other than the baby, she has 4 other children to take care of. Without any source of income, how is she supposed to survive?


There are other similar situations amongst other HIV affected families. Mostly because the husbands got involved in drugs. Some people may say, serve them right for getting involved in drugs in the first place. But are we to penalise the whole family for what the husband/father had done? Are we to just look and not do anything to help the family, especially the children?

We (my NGO) have been trying our best to source funds for these families. We help them apply for MAC's Paediatric Aid Funds, we help them apply for Welfare Dept's financial aid and whatever other financial sources available.

But the most important thing, to me, is the children's education. The least we can do is to ensure the children gets at least basic education!

That's why my NGO came up with our Children Education Fund (CEF) to cover for the children's basic schooling needs. The children must continue schooling! But the CEF alone is not enough. It only covers basic schooling needs. There are many other things the children need.

At the moment we are also in the process of coming up with some guidelines and procedures for a Children Education Sponsorship Programme. Through this programme we hope to be able to get willing individuals to sponsor each needy child until they finish schooling. Hopefully we will be able to finalise things soon and get the ball rolling.

If any of you readers out there have any suggestions on how else we can help these children, by all means, please tell us what's in your mind.

Come on people... let's work on this together... FOR THE FUTURE OF THE CHILDREN!