09/09/09

Today is 09/09/09. And I am purposely setting this posting to be published at 09:09 am. Oh... saja gatal... :)

I do hope nobody saja gatal to call 999 though!

Anyway, my anticipated "sekejap cakap lain, sekejap cakap lain" for Anita's IC and her son's birth cert has begun.

No, I haven't brought Anita to JPN just yet. My colleague, who has been handling Anita's case earlier before Anita decided to call me (I am not Anita's Buddy) was the one who had been liaising with JPN.

Earlier on, when I sent Anita to go back to her hometown, my colleague told me as long as Anita could get any one of her sister's birth cert, that'd be good enough.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Very sure!", came the answer. I wasn't too convinced though, although I was amazed how sure he sounded even though I was sure he wasn't so sure himself. (errrrr... am I making sense?)

When Anita came back to Ipoh last week, I called my colleague asking him to arrange an appointment with the officer he had been liaising with. He said he'd call the officer and get back to me before 4 pm the same day. He never did.

On Monday, the colleague called me from my NGO center. He wanted to tell me that there was a fax from the Sultan's office to inform about the cheque presentation from the Yayasan. Yep, the one I had already settled last week.

He didn't even mention anything about the JPN matter. When I asked, then only he mentioned about some forms that needed to be filled up and submitted to JPN.

"No need to bring Anita?", I asked. "No need. We can submit for her", he said. Frankly, I didn't believe him. He has a tendency to assume things. Anyway, he said he'd leave the forms at the center.

Yesterday I went to my NGO center to get the forms. One look at the forms and I knew that the forms were meant for the child's late birth cert registration. Nothing at all on Anita's IC. So I called that colleague, and since he was already on the way to the center, I waited for him to come.

When he got to the center, and I started asking him questions on this and that, he answered each question as though he was sure of things... and even mentioned that Anita has to go back to the JPN at her hometown to get some documents from there. Well, how come earlier when Anita was at her hometown, nothing was mentioned about having to go to JPN there?? I wasn't at all convinced.

I asked him for the form provided by the hospital when Anita gave birth earlier (the form they gave to be brought to JPN for child's birth registration). Anita gave the form to him to seek his help earlier. The piece of paper, which now looks like kertas balut belacan, was at his home. Adoi, why lah keep at home. Keep lah at the center!

Anyway, he promised he'd pass the piece of paper to my office today.

I have been getting contradicting advise from different people - some say just do the baby's birth cert first, no problem. Some say we'd have to get Anita's IC done first.

So which one really should come first? The chicken or the egg?

I am not going to bring Anita to JPN only to be kicked here and there like a ball. I don't want to call 999 on 09/09/09!!

I think I'd better look for networking in the right department and get all the necessary info on the correct procedures before I proceed further.

I'm quite tied up with some other matters now, and I bet those at the JPN are already in their raya mood. So rather than getting the "ni bukan bawah bidang kuasa saya" answer, I think I'll start getting some networking first and only proceed with matters after raya.

Of compliance and raya cookies

Last week, while I was shopping for some household needs, I received a text message from Wani. She was on her way to Ipoh to get her blood test done and she wanted to leave some raya cookies with me.

No, Wani doesn't make the cookies herself. She helps out at a friend's place and gets RM10 each day she helps with the baking. If she can help sell the cookies, she can get some extra cash. And so she sought my favour to help sell the cookies. Which was why she wanted to leave the cookies with me.

I told her to call me once she got to the hospital. I found it rather odd though when she mentioned she'd be doing her blood test at the Klinik Kesihatan Greentown instead of at the specialist clinic at the GH.

I found out later that she had missed her hospital appointments for quite some time and as such her records are no longer at the ID clinic. SN was the one who told Wani to go to the klinik kesihatan, and tell the people there that she wanted to do HIV testing.

You see, since her records are no longer at the ID clinic, in order to arrange for another appointment, she'd need to go back to square one. Get tested at a klinik kesihatan, and when the results come out positive, she'd get a letter referring her to the ID specialist clinic.

I asked Wani why she had not been going for her hospital appointments. She just smiled.

Earlier on, SN called me to ask whatever happened to Shila. She missed her last appointment and didn't even go for her blood test. I later found out that Shila decided not to go to the hospital for fear of H1N1. Her buddy had then advised her to fix another appointment and wear a mask when she goes to the hospital. As of last week, SN told me Shila hadn't even called her. SN got so fed-up and just said, "Suka hati dia lah! Nanti kalau sakit jangan cari saya."

Sigh... I don't know how else to stress to these people the importance of compliance. They seem to think it's okay to miss their appointments... it's okay to miss their ARV once in a while. Gee, I wonder if I can strangle them to get the message through?

Anyway, back to the raya cookies...

Wani brought 4 types of cookies - tarts, semprit, almond london and shortbread cookies.

Frankly, sales is not my expertise, so seeking my help to sell the cookies is not really a good idea. But I agreed to help her out anyway.

I have been planning to buy some raya cookies to be distributed to the poor families before raya. So, instead of helping to sell, I just ordered some cookies from Wani. That way, Wani can get some extra income and I get to distribute some raya cookies to the poor families! Kill 2 birds with one stone, huh?

Anyone wants to try some tarts and semprit? Here, have some...

Woi! Try lepas berbukalah... jangan try siang-siang hari!

The escape... at last!

Despite the smooth escape from her "evil" sister's house last week, Anita couldn't be too sure of how things would turn out when she visits her other sisters back in her hometown. I too was quite concerned of a "keluar mulut buaya, masuk mulut harimau" situation. When I managed to speak to her eldest sister on Tuesday morning, I thought there was a chance. But after that there were no more calls from Anita. And it has been a whole week since I sent her off at the bus station. I began to wonder if she got into some kind of trouble.

As I was driving to my office this morning, my phone rang. It was from Anita - and she was already at the Ipoh bus station! Aduh, why lah didn't she notify me before she boarded the bus?! I had already made other plans this morning so I couldn't simply go to the bus station to fetch her and send her to the shelter home. Besides, I'd also need to notify Kak Ana at the shelter home - she may have other plans too for all I know.

Anita had no choice but to wait. I had to settle some work at the office and I also needed to go to Istana Kinta. You see, I got a call yesterday from a lady from Yayasan Sultan Azlan Shah to inform me that my NGO has been listed amongst the recipients of grants from the Yayasan and that the cheque presentation is to be held next weekend. I was asked to go to Istana Kinta where their office is to confirm attendance. (Yes, THE Istana Kinta where some political drama took place earlier this year but I shall not go into that)

So yes, I went this morning and once I got into the Istana compounds, I was a bit tercangak-bangak looking for the office but made it without making a fool of myself... or so I think. Anyway, I read through the letter and noticed that for the cheque presentation (by HRH Raja Muda), the dress code for ladies is baju kurung/baju kebaya. I never had any kebaya all my life and it had been quite a while since I had any baju kurung in my wardrobe. My wardrobe now is full of jubah or ala-ala jubah. Hmmm... wonder if my sister still has any baju kurung that I can borrow. Never mind, that I can resolve later!

Back to Anita's case, as soon as I got to my office this morning, I called up Kak Ana. She was on her way somewhere. I told her about Anita's sudden appearance in Ipoh without notice, and asked if I could send her over to the shelter home today. Thank God Kak Ana said she should be back by then.

Then I called my colleague who had been liaising with the JPN officer, and asked him to make an appointment some time next week if possible. Today was already too late, and Monday is a holiday in Perak. Simply bringing Anita to JPN any time next week may not be a good idea. I don't want Anita to come to Ipoh all the way from the shelter home only to find out that the officer is on leave or outstation. It's best to make an appointment. After all, Anita's case is a bit, errm no... a lot complicated, which definitely needs the attention of a higher ranking officer, not simply any Mat, Minah, Ah Chong, Mei Lan, Muthu or Meenachi at the JPN counters.

After my zohor prayer, off I went to fetch Anita & her baby boy. I didn't want to get caught in the anticipated jam in my kampong as the Deputy Prime Minister was scheduled to make an official visit to my kampong around 4 pm.

Anita and her baby had been at the bus station since morning. Poor souls! But without earlier notice from Anita, it was difficult for me to reschedule my commitments. Anyway, as soon as they got into my car, we headed straight to the shelter home, which is about 1 hour 20 minutes drive away. I didn't want to come back to Ipoh too late and rush for buka puasa. Any questions whatsoever that I needed to ask Anita would have to be done on the way to the shelter home.

We reached the shelter home around 3.20 pm. Kak Ana was not back yet but her husband and daughter were there to greet me and Anita. The daughter then called Kak Ana and was told that Kak Ana would reach the home soon.

While waiting for Kak Ana, guess who I got to see, hold and play with? Yep, none other than my little Cek Mek! Woo hoo! Goodness, she's such a good girl - tak banyak ragam langsung! And she has obviously become chubbier! Unlike some babies who smile or laugh when we play with them, Cek Mek has that selamba look - like muka sadin like that! Eh, sounds familiar lah pulak... ikut siapalah agaknya... ;)

Anyway, after a while, Kak Ana came back, and after explaining some matters to her, I simply had to make a move. Initially I wanted to leave by 4 pm, but since Kak Ana herself got home a bit late, I only managed to make a move at 4.20 pm. I had at least another 1 hour 20 minutes of travel time to go through and I wanted to have a bit of rest before berbuka so I wouldn't be too tired for terawikh.

I reached Ipoh about 5.40 pm and since I hadn't performed my asar prayer, I immediately headed back to my kampong. But just before the bridge in my kampong, some traffic police signaled to me to stop by the roadside.

No, I wasn't breaking any traffic rules lah! Definitely not speeding - it was after all just a jalan kampong!

The DPM's visit to my kampong that I mentioned earlier, remember?? You see my kampong is a traditional kampong smack right in the middle of Ipoh. The roads are small and at certain stretches, when cars are going opposite direction, one car would have to make way for the other. And my car was going the opposite direction of the DPM's car!

So, guess who had to make way? The DPM? Of course.... NOT! Not only did I have to make way for the DPM's convoy, there were so many other cars also going out as the function had just ended! Wrong timing sungguh...

Oh well, at least I've settled Anita's escape and a new shelter for Anita and her baby boy. As for her IC and the boy's BC, I believe we've still got a long way to go... at least another 6 months if we're lucky...

Busy day at the clinic

I was on clinic duty again today. I went to my office first in the morning, and only left the office at 9.30 am to head to the GH. This time I didn't bother to go a few rounds around the hospital to get a parking space. I just went one round, and ended up parking my car at a proper parking lot, within walking distance from the hospital, but still considered quite far for those with knee problems or the likes. Thank God I don't have such problems... yet...

As I got to the specialist clinic, I noticed most of the hospital staff were wearing masks. Alamak... I forgot my mask! I left them in my car! I was too lazy to walk all the way back to the car park, so I thought, whaddaheck, I will just make sure I use the hand sanitizer which I always carry in my handbag. Then I remembered, hey, I did have one mask in my handbag!

Well, anyway, after leaving my things in the counseling room, I immediately headed to the doctor's room, to inform SN that I was already there, and also to pass her some ole-ole I got for her from Bali recently.

Things started quite slowly at first, but once the cases started coming, we (my team-mates and I) hardly had enough time to talk about anything else. All the cases referred to us today were guys...

CASE #1

The first was Ravi, a young chap in his thirties... married, has an 11 year old daughter, and his wife is now pregnant with their second child. So, what made him go for the HIV test? You see, the wife knew about his previous affair with another woman, and when she found out she was pregnant, somehow she got worried that her husband may have been infected by that woman, and as a result, she too may have been infected as well. As such, she requested for the HIV test herself. She felt a whole lot better when the results came out negative. She told the husband to also go for blood tests initially, but when the time came to take the results, she got scared and told Ravi not to get the test results. Ravi still went, found out he was infected, but have yet to inform his wife. She's due to deliver soon, and he didn't want her to feel depressed. I'm not sure if he is ever going to tell his wife about it now that his wife is confirmed negative, but I reminded him to at least practice safe sex.

CASE #2

The second case referred to us today was Hasan. He is about my age, married, and has 4 children, the youngest is a 10 year old. Hasan had to undergo an operation at a private clinic to remove his appendix a few months back and it was during the full blood tests done before his op that they found out about his HIV infection. They broke the news to him the day before his scheduled operation. He was so frustrated, he felt like jumping off the 3rd floor of the hospital, where he was warded. Then his wife came and he broke the news to her. I must say Hasan is one lucky chap - his wife gave him the much needed support and encouragement to carry on with life. She was definitely his pillar of strength. She told him straight in the face, "Yang nak terjun dari tingkat 3 tu apa faedahnya? Kalau mati terus satu hal le jugak. Kalau tak mati tapi cedera teruk, tak ke lagi susah nak jaga?" Hehehe... clever wife.

Hasan does feel better now, knowing that his wife supports him, and after speaking to SN and us Buddies, he knows there are many other people out there just like him, who continue to lead a normal life. However, he has yet to reach the 100% redha stage... and still has the "if only I didn't do that" thoughts coming to his mind from time to time. Yes, he regretted all his wrong doings. He wasn't faithful to his wife, and yet when he got infected with HIV, his wife is still there for him. His wife, by the way, has been tested negative, alhamdulillah.

CASE #3

After Hasan left the room, my colleague went out to call the next person, Ramli. Ramli came in with a young lady - I thought his wife at first (he was wearing a mask, and he looked quite young behind the mask - hmm... I wonder if I looked young behind the mask too... haha!). Then the young lady introduced herself as his daughter. I looked at Ramli's file, and saw that he's 43. Well, still young, and with a grown up daughter, he must have got married at quite a young age. The daughter who came with him just got married recently.

I then asked how he found out about his HIV infection, and almost choked when his daughter selamba-ly answered, "Sebenarnya masa ayah kawin nombor 4 baru-baru ni kena buat test HIV. Dari situlah dapat tau."

I hope behind my mask they didn't notice my terkejut beruk face. Whoa... in our contact report form which we have to fill up, there is one column for "Spouse's name". Duh, do I now have to change it to "Spouses Names"??

I asked if his family members, especially his wives all know about his HIV infection. Here goes...

Wife #1 (also mother to the daughter who accompanied Ramli): She knows, but has yet to go for testing. 4 children with this wife... all grown up and all know about his HIV.

Wife #2: Also 4 children with this wife, the youngest is 4. All the children are staying with him. I was quite concerned about the 4 year old, but I told them to just get the wife to go for testing, if she's negative, then no need to worry about the kids. The problem is, while the children are with him, the family doesn't know the whereabouts of the wife now. As such, they are unable to get her to go for testing.

Wife #3: No children. It is believed Ramli got HIV from this wife. The wife, a foreigner from a country north of Malaysia, was infected by her earlier husband, but did not inform Ramli about it. She just mentioned she had TB. And she died of TB. Habis cerita.

Wife #4: Of course she knows lah, it was during the mandatory pre-marital testing that Ramli found out he was HIV +ve. But she still married him anyway despite the HIV and the 3 earlier wives...

CASE #4

Three people came into the room when we called for Shamsudin: A young chap in his early thirties, and a couple in their sixties. As I figured, they were his parents.

It was the father who did more of the talking, insisting he already knew about the few things I mentioned, and insisting to know about the results of the latest blood test. I told him he should talk to the doctor about the blood test results, and that we Buddies were there more for the counseling session. The mother was more... well... motherly lah kan. She was the one who had been taking care of Shamsudin, making sure he took his medication (he was on pre-HAART) on time. When I asked how Shamsudin was at home, whether he felt depressed or anything like that, the father said no. "Takdelah, dia nampak okay je", said the father. The mother's answer was more acceptable... "Kadang-kadang elok je dia gurau dengan adik-beradik dia. Tapi kadang-kadang dia termenung." At this point, the father said, "Dia orang ni suka berahsia dengan saya." I'm not surprised...

Shamsudin himself didn't say a word. I was beginning to wonder if he could even speak! But I did suspect that he didn't feel comfortable pouring out his feelings in front of his parents, especially his father.

Finally at one point, when the father was still doing most of the talking, cutting me out whenever I said anything, Shamsudin blurted out, "Persatuan ni ada tak tempat tinggal untuk pesakit macam saya ni?"

Finally! He then started to open up, saying that he needs to see for himself HIV infected people who has succeeded in life. And he ended up crying. Gosh! He must have kept so much inside him. From what I saw, although his family did not shun him, and tried their best to give him all the encouragement (including his father - although his style may not be suitable to Shamsudin's emotional needs), he probably felt inferior at home. He probably even felt as though he was a nuisance and a useless son no matter what his family told him.

Well, there are no shelter homes in Perak specifically for HIV cases, but since Shamsudin is an ex-IVDU, I intend to refer him to Perak's Persatuan Pengasih. They do have a home in Ipoh with all the much needed activities including motivational ceramahs, and they do accept HIV cases. His parents agreed that maybe he needed to stay with "those in the same boat" to boost his confidence.

I didn't have Pengasih's phone number with me off hand, but I promised Shamsudin and his parents I'd get the number for them.

CASE #5

Well, SN didn't really refer this case for counseling purpose. She just wanted to find out if we could help out Moorthy, who needs a place to stay. Moorthy wasn't even sent to the counseling room. He was unable to walk and was actually on a hospital bed which was pushed to the HIV clinic. So we had to go to the doctor's room to see him.

Now, helping Moorthy is not as simple as finding him a place to stay. Other than no longer in touch with any family members, Moorthy cannot fend for himself.

He had an accident some time ago, and all these while had been staying at the hospital ward in another town. He was brought to Ipoh GH for the HIV case and he is also scheduled for an operation in October. Operation? Both his legs will need to be amputated. Which means, whichever home he is sent to, will need to have people who will be able to take care of him as he will be dependent on others even to move around. The hospital had informed welfare department and officers from the welfare department came. But the moment they found out he had HIV, that was it. None of the gomen shelter homes seem to accept HIV cases, be it for children, for the elderly, or for OKU cases.

Sigh...

A little update on Anita

No, Anita is still not back in Ipoh. Her bags of clothes and milk powder for her little boy are still in my car. Despite travelling light (well, the boy wasn't that light lah...) the other day, looking as though at the most she'd only travel for 2 or 3 days, it has been 5 days now and she's still at her home state.

But she did call me, three times including this morning's phone call.

The first call was the update I included in my previous posting on her "escape". The second call was on Saturday. By then she had gone to her late sister's house, hoping her brother-in-law would have a copy of the SIL's birth cert. Too bad, he didn't. Anita then asked me what to do.

Knowing that Anita had other sisters (although she didn't sound too fond of them, and likewise, they, of her), I asked her to try get a copy of birth cert of at least one of her other sisters. We just needed to show that they share the same mother, and that the mother was already a Malaysian.

Since Anita is now at her home state, and her eldest sister stays in the same state, Anita decided to go to this sister's house. No doubt before this they didn't get along too well, but I was hoping the sister would at least have a little pity on Anita. Anita just needed copies of supporting documents, that's it. And the sister doesn't even have to post the documents, Anita's there to collect the documents herself.

Well, this morning a call came in from Anita. The moment I answered the call, she immediately passed the call to another lady - Anita's eldest sister. The sister told me the only document they have is their mother's death cert. I asked if she still has her own birth cert. She said yes, but then asked if a copy of her IC would do. I suppose like most of us, since we already have our ICs, when people ask for our birth certs, we'd have to search high and low for it. Likewise with Anita's sister.

But ICs don't show our mother's name, and so her sister's IC wouldn't prove anything. Meaning, yes, I'd still need a copy of the sister's birth cert, and yes, the mother's death cert. And whatever other documents they can produce.

Alhamdulillah, the fact that Anita's sister herself spoke to me at least indicated that she was willing to help out with that bit of giving copies of the supporting documents. Or at least I hope so.

For now, I am still not sure when Anita is coming back to Ipoh. Or if she still wants to go to the shelter home. Who knows, maybe, just maybe, her eldest sister had mellowed and opened up her heart to accept Anita? Maybe the little boy managed to melt her heart? Maybe there is no need for part 2 of "The Escape"? Yeah, who knows... (but I'm not putting my hopes up too high though)

Whatever it is, I hope Anita will not give me short notice and call me in the middle of the night to tell me she's at the Ipoh bus station. I told her earlier that if she needed me to send her to the shelter home when she comes back, if possible she'd need to get a bus which will reach Ipoh in the morning (or at least during daytime), and she should call me once she buys her bus ticket so I'd know when to expect her.

I have my own life to lead too...