Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Friday, 19 November 2010
Saturday, 6 October 2007
Oh dear, dear Boboy...
During my last visit to the home of the new guardians of Lily’s children, I was there to explain to them on how to fill up the form for PAF application, as the new guardians weren’t too sure how to go about.
I was informed by the aunt that everything was fine. The children were doing okay in school while Boboy who had problems with his kindergarten teacher (after the teacher found out Boboy was HIV positive) had stopped going to the old kindergarten. However the guardians were already contemplating enrolling Boboy to a new kindergarten nearer to their home.
After a few visits to the children’s new home, I was under the impression that the new guardians no longer have any worries about taking care of Boboy. (Read about the uncle’s earlier dilemma here.)
A few days ago I called the aunt to find out if she had any problems in filling up the PAF form. I was surprised by her answer.
The Aunt: “Eh, kami tak jadi hantar borang tu. Abang takde bagitau puan apa-apa ke?” (Abang here refers to her husband.)
Me: “Bagitau apa? Dia takde cakap apa-apa pun kat saya…”
The Aunt: “Kami dah hantar Boboy ke KL. Mak sedara dia yang kat KL tu suruh hantar dia pergi Rumah Pernim. Bukan apa puan, kat situ dia orang taulah macam mana nak jaga budak-budak yang sakit macam Boboy ni.”
Me: “Habis tu, kakak-kakaknya macam mana?”
The Aunt: “Budak bertiga tu masih tinggal dengan sayalah.”
Aarghh! I was heartbroken. I was worried initially when the uncle brought up the topic earlier, but eventually I was given the impression that they were abandoning the idea of sending Boboy elsewhere. As a matter of fact, they were already talking about enrolling Boboy to a nearby kindergarten… surely that meant they were already willing to take care of him!
My guess is that the turn of events took place when another aunt working in KL made all the arrangements and convinced them that the shelter home was the best place for Boboy, even if it meant he had to be separated from his sisters!
Sensing that I was taken by surprise, the aunt tried to convince me that they did it out of their love for Boboy. “Rumah Pernim tu tak jauh dari rumah mak sedara dia puan. Boboy pun nampak happy je kat sana dapat ramai kawan. Lagipun raya nanti dia balik. Kalau puan nak nombor telefon tempat tu saya boleh bagi.”
Oh I already have the phone numbers of shelter homes for HIV kids. I was just disappointed that the boy had to be separated from his sisters. First he lost his father, then his mother… and now this?
But I’m trying to be positive about this…
The family does intend to visit (I hope they meant it) from time to time and Boboy will also be coming back from time to time during holidays and special occasions. They are not sending him away for good. They’re just sort of sending him to a “boarding school” (but at a very tender age).
The other positive thing is that Boboy will have many new friends at the shelter home. I guess that’s why the aunt mentioned that Boboy looked happy at his new home.
One thing I do know for sure is that the lady running the shelter home is a very motherly, loving and caring person. Come to think of it, I think Boboy will have better spiritual upbringing at his new home. I hope Boboy will get better motherly care over at his new place. Click here to find out more about the home.
Yes, I am disappointed with the fact that Boboy is separated from his own siblings, but I’m still trying to think positive here (more to put my mind at ease actually!).
All the best to you my dear Boboy. May you find love and happiness at your new home…
I was informed by the aunt that everything was fine. The children were doing okay in school while Boboy who had problems with his kindergarten teacher (after the teacher found out Boboy was HIV positive) had stopped going to the old kindergarten. However the guardians were already contemplating enrolling Boboy to a new kindergarten nearer to their home.
After a few visits to the children’s new home, I was under the impression that the new guardians no longer have any worries about taking care of Boboy. (Read about the uncle’s earlier dilemma here.)
A few days ago I called the aunt to find out if she had any problems in filling up the PAF form. I was surprised by her answer.
The Aunt: “Eh, kami tak jadi hantar borang tu. Abang takde bagitau puan apa-apa ke?” (Abang here refers to her husband.)
Me: “Bagitau apa? Dia takde cakap apa-apa pun kat saya…”
The Aunt: “Kami dah hantar Boboy ke KL. Mak sedara dia yang kat KL tu suruh hantar dia pergi Rumah Pernim. Bukan apa puan, kat situ dia orang taulah macam mana nak jaga budak-budak yang sakit macam Boboy ni.”
Me: “Habis tu, kakak-kakaknya macam mana?”
The Aunt: “Budak bertiga tu masih tinggal dengan sayalah.”
Aarghh! I was heartbroken. I was worried initially when the uncle brought up the topic earlier, but eventually I was given the impression that they were abandoning the idea of sending Boboy elsewhere. As a matter of fact, they were already talking about enrolling Boboy to a nearby kindergarten… surely that meant they were already willing to take care of him!
My guess is that the turn of events took place when another aunt working in KL made all the arrangements and convinced them that the shelter home was the best place for Boboy, even if it meant he had to be separated from his sisters!
Sensing that I was taken by surprise, the aunt tried to convince me that they did it out of their love for Boboy. “Rumah Pernim tu tak jauh dari rumah mak sedara dia puan. Boboy pun nampak happy je kat sana dapat ramai kawan. Lagipun raya nanti dia balik. Kalau puan nak nombor telefon tempat tu saya boleh bagi.”
Oh I already have the phone numbers of shelter homes for HIV kids. I was just disappointed that the boy had to be separated from his sisters. First he lost his father, then his mother… and now this?
But I’m trying to be positive about this…
The family does intend to visit (I hope they meant it) from time to time and Boboy will also be coming back from time to time during holidays and special occasions. They are not sending him away for good. They’re just sort of sending him to a “boarding school” (but at a very tender age).
The other positive thing is that Boboy will have many new friends at the shelter home. I guess that’s why the aunt mentioned that Boboy looked happy at his new home.
One thing I do know for sure is that the lady running the shelter home is a very motherly, loving and caring person. Come to think of it, I think Boboy will have better spiritual upbringing at his new home. I hope Boboy will get better motherly care over at his new place. Click here to find out more about the home.
Yes, I am disappointed with the fact that Boboy is separated from his own siblings, but I’m still trying to think positive here (more to put my mind at ease actually!).
All the best to you my dear Boboy. May you find love and happiness at your new home…
Saturday, 5 May 2007
A strong-willed woman
When Nuri was first referred to the Buddies during one HIV clinic, she made it clear that she didn’t want a buddy. To her, having a buddy meant someone would be calling her from time to time reminding her she has HIV. She didn’t want to be reminded, she wanted life to continue as it was before, and she didn’t want anyone to know she’s HIV positive.
We respected her decision. We offered our support services, but if the PLWHAs felt they didn’t need or want our services, so be it. However, in any case, we would still give them our brochure with our contact number to enable them to call us in case one day they need our help.
That was the case with Nuri. About 8 or 9 months later she called one of the volunteers she met at the HIV clinic. She needed help with her welfare application. After helping her out with the necessary, this volunteer handed over the case to me. No, not because he didn’t want to help her, but he figured Nuri, being the “kampong girl” type, would feel more comfortable with a fellow Malay lady. And there being no other Malay lady volunteer in my NGO, I was the only choice.
I became her buddy from then on. I started off with a phone call to introduce myself. She seemed comfortable enough talking to me. But to be able to really help her, I would need more information about her and her family. I asked her permission to meet up with her. She was not comfortable with the idea of having me visit her at home, for fear her nosey neighbours may be asking all sorts of questions. But it would be troublesome for her to take a bus all the way to Ipoh just to meet me, so I offered to go to the small town where she lived and we could meet somewhere in town. She agreed.
So during one of the weekends, I drove to the town where she lived. We met up in town and went over to a food stall where we could chat while having something to eat and drink. She finally opened up and told me her story.
When Nuri’s husband died about 3 years earlier, Nuri never knew he had HIV. According to her, her husband had been going to the hospital for routine check-ups but he never told her what illness he was suffering from. As such, Nuri never bothered to go for tests – not for her, and not for her children.
Being a non-working single mother to 4 children, friends/neighbours tried matchmaking her into a second marriage. She however was never interested. Although her late husband’s pension money may not be enough to cover her family's needs, she was determined to figure a way out without having to marry another man. She'd rather apply for welfare help to get her back on her feet while she tried to figure a way to generate more income for her family.
Somehow, one day when a drug user in her kampong died, and the kampong people were saying that the guy had HIV, Nuri remembered that her late husband too was an injecting drug user. So she went for blood tests just to be sure. What a shock it was when she found out she was HIV positive, and her CD4 count was already below 200! Immediately she brought all her children for testing. While 3 of her children were confirmed negative, her youngest daughter, Fara, was not as lucky. Fara had actually been infected since birth but Nuri only knew about it 7 years later – all because she was never informed about her late husband’s HIV status!
Little Fara had always been the sickly type, but Nuri never suspected this girl had HIV. Fara’s CD4 was only about 60+ when she was first diagnosed. She was already having lung infections by then… always missing school from time to time due to illnesses. All Nuri told the school teachers was that Fara had lung infections. Telling them that Fara had HIV may result in the poor girl facing discrimination in school. Fara herself still doesn’t know she has HIV.
Now Fara is 9 years old and not as sickly as before. Nuri makes sure she doesn’t miss her hospital appointments and her medication.
Nuri herself is now operating a food stall near her children’s school. Her income may not be fixed, sometimes business is good, and sometimes it’s not. But this is one strong-willed woman. I believe she'll survive.
And she now doesn’t mind having a buddy. She understands now that the buddy is there not to remind her of her HIV status, but just as a friend to talk to or to seek help from without the fear of having to hide anything.
We respected her decision. We offered our support services, but if the PLWHAs felt they didn’t need or want our services, so be it. However, in any case, we would still give them our brochure with our contact number to enable them to call us in case one day they need our help.
That was the case with Nuri. About 8 or 9 months later she called one of the volunteers she met at the HIV clinic. She needed help with her welfare application. After helping her out with the necessary, this volunteer handed over the case to me. No, not because he didn’t want to help her, but he figured Nuri, being the “kampong girl” type, would feel more comfortable with a fellow Malay lady. And there being no other Malay lady volunteer in my NGO, I was the only choice.
I became her buddy from then on. I started off with a phone call to introduce myself. She seemed comfortable enough talking to me. But to be able to really help her, I would need more information about her and her family. I asked her permission to meet up with her. She was not comfortable with the idea of having me visit her at home, for fear her nosey neighbours may be asking all sorts of questions. But it would be troublesome for her to take a bus all the way to Ipoh just to meet me, so I offered to go to the small town where she lived and we could meet somewhere in town. She agreed.
So during one of the weekends, I drove to the town where she lived. We met up in town and went over to a food stall where we could chat while having something to eat and drink. She finally opened up and told me her story.
When Nuri’s husband died about 3 years earlier, Nuri never knew he had HIV. According to her, her husband had been going to the hospital for routine check-ups but he never told her what illness he was suffering from. As such, Nuri never bothered to go for tests – not for her, and not for her children.
Being a non-working single mother to 4 children, friends/neighbours tried matchmaking her into a second marriage. She however was never interested. Although her late husband’s pension money may not be enough to cover her family's needs, she was determined to figure a way out without having to marry another man. She'd rather apply for welfare help to get her back on her feet while she tried to figure a way to generate more income for her family.
Somehow, one day when a drug user in her kampong died, and the kampong people were saying that the guy had HIV, Nuri remembered that her late husband too was an injecting drug user. So she went for blood tests just to be sure. What a shock it was when she found out she was HIV positive, and her CD4 count was already below 200! Immediately she brought all her children for testing. While 3 of her children were confirmed negative, her youngest daughter, Fara, was not as lucky. Fara had actually been infected since birth but Nuri only knew about it 7 years later – all because she was never informed about her late husband’s HIV status!
Little Fara had always been the sickly type, but Nuri never suspected this girl had HIV. Fara’s CD4 was only about 60+ when she was first diagnosed. She was already having lung infections by then… always missing school from time to time due to illnesses. All Nuri told the school teachers was that Fara had lung infections. Telling them that Fara had HIV may result in the poor girl facing discrimination in school. Fara herself still doesn’t know she has HIV.
Now Fara is 9 years old and not as sickly as before. Nuri makes sure she doesn’t miss her hospital appointments and her medication.
Nuri herself is now operating a food stall near her children’s school. Her income may not be fixed, sometimes business is good, and sometimes it’s not. But this is one strong-willed woman. I believe she'll survive.
And she now doesn’t mind having a buddy. She understands now that the buddy is there not to remind her of her HIV status, but just as a friend to talk to or to seek help from without the fear of having to hide anything.
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