In memory of…

16th May 2010 – International Aids Memorial Day.

I’ll make this a short posting… in memory of the PLHIVs whom I had the opportunity to get to know in the course of my voluntary work, and who had left us… (please just click on the links if you want to know their story)

Rose – May 2006 (I still get updates on Rose’s children from time to time through Rose’s sister)

Azman, (Yah’s husband) – December 2006 (I am still in touch with Yah although not as often as before)

Lily – May 2007 (Lily died on International Aids Memorial Day in 2007 – she had a son who was also HIV+ who was sent to a home for HIV children. Boboy should be 8 this year. I have since lost contact with all the children and their new guardians)

Rashid (Hana’s husband) – October 2007 (I am still in touch with Hana. Her children are under our education sponsorship program)

Rina – October 2007 (I am no longer in touch with her family)

Calls and more calls...

I've been getting quite a few calls for the past few days relating to my NGO work - a few came in through our hotline number while a few direct on my personal hand phone.

As mentioned in my previous posting, last Tuesday, a university student called, asking for info on HIV/AIDS and TS. I passed her the number of our vice-chairman who's involved with outreach work as I thought he'd have more info on TS, but after talking to the student, he figured she'd get more reliable info from other NGO's dealing direct with TS. So he gave her their contact particulars.

On Thursday morning, another call came in through our hotline number. It was from a lady who called on behalf of her employers. They were planning to hold a talk for their foreign employees on the topic of HIV/AIDS, safe sex etc. They have quite a number of Indonesians and Vietnamese in their workforce. I guess this talk will have to be held in Manglish. I told the lady to inform us in black and white, either by fax or email, so that we can make the necessary arrangements. At the same time I also told her not to give us short notice as we may not be able to get any of the volunteers to do the talk.

On my way home from work the same day, a call came in on my personal hand phone. The call was from a member of the Perak Women for Women Association (PWW). I gave a talk last year to members of PWW - explaining to them on what we Buddies do, and since at that time we didn't have our hotline number yet, I gave them my personal number. PWW focuses on empowering women, and they wanted to organize a talk for women particularly those with problem marriages, so she wanted to find out if any of our HIV clients may be interested to join. Well, some of the HIV women under my charge who are still married, have problems getting the necessary "visa" from their husbands to attend any functions - even for our family day, so it'll be a tough task for me to coax them to join. And while the talk would also be suitable for single mothers, it was rather short notice. She called me on Thursday and the talk was on Saturday. The PWW lady had actually wanted to meet up with me to discuss things further - so maybe we can make arrangements to hold similar talks later; but that Thursday afternoon I had to drive to KL. And Friday was out too because I wasn't sure what time I'd be back from KL. Next week she won't be around - so I just told her to call me when she's free later.

On Friday morning I brought my mother to Putrajaya Hospital for her follow-up appointment (after her knee surgery last year). While waiting for my mother's supply of medication at the pharmacy, a call came in from a Penang number. A guy introduced himself from Community AIDS Services Penang (CASP) and he wanted to discuss about holding a joint event amongst northern partner organisations of the Malaysian AIDS Council to commemorate this year's International AIDS Memorial Day (IAMD) in May. The line wasn't so clear - and in addition to that people around me were talking, so it wasn't really convenient for me to talk then, so I asked him to call me later in the afternoon.

I just got home (yes, back in Ipoh) when he called me again. I asked him what they had in mind for the northern region IAMD, but according to him they don't have plans yet. They intend to call the various partner organisations from the northern region for a first meeting next Sunday, and from then on they will set up a steering committee to get things going. He also told me that someone from MAC suggested that maybe for logistics purposes, we may want to join KL's event; and that it's up to us to decide.

I am not too sure yet myself if we're joining either group. Last year we joined forces with the Perak Family Health Association to hold an exhibition at Ipoh Parade. It's easier because both organisations operate in Ipoh. Joining either the central group or the northern group means we will need to travel outstation. Any decision we make will have to be discussed in our Board meeting, and the next Board meeting will be the last Tuesday of this month - and that's after our AGM.

Whatever it is, getting all these calls is a good thing. Those who called for info or wanting us to give talks on HIV/AIDS means awareness is indeed spreading. And the calls from PWW and CASP show that our networking is also expanding. That, to me, is a good sign for better things ahead. At least I hope so...

Never Give Up Never Forget

Saturday, 31st May 2008 - I had initially contemplated attending MAC's AGM in KL in the morning... but there seemed to be too many things to do in Ipoh that day I finally decided the AGM was a no go. After all the bus tickets for my PLWHA clients to go to KL for the IAMD were with me and as such I needed to be at the Ipoh bus terminal to pass the tickets to them together with some money.

I told my clients I'd be at the bus terminal at 9.30 am as their bus was expected to depart at 10 am. But as early as 8.20 am while I was still at the pasar tani, Jah called me to inform me that she was already at the bus terminal. I told her I'd meet her as soon as I finished my weekly pasar tani routine.

Shila had told me the night before that she and her daughter couldn't join the trip as she was not feeling well. So there were 2 extra tickets. When Fuzi arrived with her children she wanted to buy one more ticket as she had her son's friend tagging along. But since I had extra tickets with me she didn't have to buy any.

After briefing them and leaving them some money (MAC was to reimburse them for their bus fares and per diem, but most of my clients being the ‘pokai’ type, I had to advance my money first and later claim the whole amount from MAC.), I went off to run some other errands before attending a wedding invitation in the afternoon. It was almost 2 pm when we (my mom, my sis and I) made a move to go to KL.

When we got to the Ipoh toll, there was massive jam on the other side of the divider - yep, for the traffic heading north, the queue to the Ipoh toll was as far as to the Simpang Pulai exit! That’s about 6 kms! If any of them were going for a kenduri, they'd be really hungry by the time they reach their destination. Worse, if there was a groom amongst those stuck in the jam...

Thank goodness I was heading the opposite direction so I reached my brother's house within 2 hours as usual.

About 7.30 pm I left my brother's house to go to One Utama where MAC's International AIDS Memorial Day was held. I got there within 10 minutes. AND THEN it took me another half an hour just to get a parking space! I was almost on the verge of giving up and instead of following the 'more parking' sign, I followed the 'exit' sign. It was then that I finally found myself a space good enough to park my car although it wasn't a proper parking lot. I wouldn't have done that under normal circumstances as I'm the 'by the book' kind of person. However that night as long as my car did not block the paths of any other cars in any way, it was good enough.

Obviously by the time I got myself to the main entrance of One Utama (new wing), the events for the IAMD with the theme "Never Give Up Never Forget" had already started. For the first time, the event was opened to the public. There were already so many people around I had trouble looking for familiar faces. Then I saw someone waving to me - it was Jah, and right beside her was Fuzi. The kids were busy being entertained by the balloon man.

Anyway, first thing's first. I had earlier requested from MAC some slides on HIV/AIDS for us Buddies to use during our talks. So I had better look for the particular guy first. As I had never met him before, I had to ask around. Apparently he was the co-emcee.

After getting the requested CD, then only did I start walking around looking for more familiar faces. I did see the MAC president, who was my classmate way back in school, but she of course was with the guest-of-honour ie the Deputy Health minister and so I didn't want to disturb her then.

Before the speeches began, there was a showcase by a group of people living with HIV.

*Sorry pic not clear.

This was followed by the speech by the MAC president and then, the deputy health minister. Then came the candle lighting ceremony. After the lighting of the candles and the guests walked back to their seats, I had the chance to get hold of the MAC president. Her first reaction when she saw me was, 'Eh, where were you this morning during the AGM? We wanted to vote you in as exco member!' And my immediate response to that was 'Tu pasal I tak attend...'

:-)

Speech by MAC president

Speech by Deputy Health Minister

Anyway, kids being kids, the showcase and speeches did not interest Fuzi's children. They were hungry, but being totally unfamiliar with the place, Fuzi and Jah didn't dare go anywhere to buy food. So I accompanied them to look for food for them to buy, although I wasn't familiar with the place either.

After they got some food, I accompanied them back to where the event was to ensure they didn't get lost at the shopping complex. Then I left them there. MAC had arranged for transportation to send them back to the hotel where they were staying. I figured I'd better make a move soon in case I forgot where I parked my car and needed some time to look for it… but naaah… going back was a breeze…

But just like last year’s IAMD, somehow many of my clients tend to contact me during IAMD. Mrs. K’s daughter sent me a text message on Saturday to inform me that her baby sister was discharged from the hospital. Yesterday Shila contacted me to say she had not taken her medication for 3 days because every time she swallowed something, she’d vomit. Then this morning while I was still in KL, Maria sent me a text message telling how depressed she was and that she needed to talk to someone. And as soon as I got home this afternoon, I got a text message from Mrs. K to say that her baby girl had to be hospitalized again.

I haven’t called any of them yet. I need to get some rest myself first… tired lah...

IAMD KL & Various Updates

IAMD KL -

While we were preparing for our IAMD exhibition last week (not that there’s anything much to prepare), one of the guys from Malaysian AIDS Council (MAC) called me up to inform me about the International Aids Memorial Day (IAMD) organized by MAC to be held on 31st May in KL. Like previous years, MAC is inviting us to send our representatives, especially our HIV clients, to the event. The deadline to submit the reply slip was 20th May – so I only had a few days to call around and ask whoever wanted to attend.

Actually an email was sent to our usual contact person, our former secretary, but since she’s overseas for the moment, we did not get the invitation earlier. Only when our MAC guy called to follow up, he found out that our usual contact was not around, and so he immediately called me. I asked him to forward the email to me so I could do the necessary.

And so I forwarded the email to my fellow Buddies, asking them if any of them wanted to go, and asking them too to ask if any of their clients wanted to go. There was no response. Well, it will be during the school holidays – I guess many would already have other plans.

I made a few calls myself. The first 2 who came to mind was the same 2 who attended last year’s IAMD – Jah and Shila. As I had expected, they were both excited to go – especially at the thought of getting the chance to spend the night at a hotel… fully sponsored by MAC. Never in their life did they ever stay in a hotel before. Then I called Fuzi, whom I thought may be interested to go as it would be a great opportunity for her kids to go jalan-jalan during the school holidays. Again, as expected, she said yes. I tried calling Yah but couldn’t get through. Since I had a deadline to meet, I could’t afford to keep on calling – so it’s no go for Yah.

There were clients whom I didn’t bother to ask – those whom I knew wouldn’t be able to go no matter how much they want to…

Lin, for example, works on weekends and it won’t be easy for her to get leave from her boss. Same case with Hana.

Maria? Naaah… she wouldn’t be able to get the green light from her hubby.

Sha? Her son doesn’t know about her HIV status and she’s always afraid that by attending any of these functions, her son will end up asking all sorts of questions.

So the final list coming from Buddies consists of Jah, Shila (plus 1 child) and Fuzi (plus 5 children). That’s already an improvement from last year. My only worry now is for them to get to the hotel. Last year, Jah was already at her aunt’s house in KL while Shila and her daughter followed me in my car for a day trip. This time, they will need to go on their own – by bus – all expenses paid, of course, but still, once they get to Puduraya, they will need to find their own way to the hotel. Traveling out of town is not something they get to do often and so they are not too confident about traveling on their own. My plan is to get them all to go on the same bus so that they will have each other for company. I will also need to brief them on all the whats, wheres and hows before I send them off at the Ipoh bus terminal.

Myself? Well, I will be in KL that weekend for some family matters, so if I have the time, I will be attending as well; but not needing hotel accommodation. After all, the event will be held at One Utama, which is not that far from my brother’s house where I’ll be staying.

Yes, this year MAC will organize the IAMD at One Utama and for the first time ever, it will be an open-door event – unlike previous years’ closed-door by invitation only. So if you happen to be free, why not come over?

Day/date: Saturday 31st May 2008
Time: 7.30 – 9.30 pm
Venue: One Utama Shopping Centre, New Wing (main entrance)

Highlights include performance by local artistes, showcase by People Living with HIV, and candle lighting.

-----------------------------------------------------

Various updates -

Opah called me last week. She needed to bring Hamid for another appointment and since I do have some funds with me meant for the traveling/medical needs of the poor, I told her to call me if she needed help. After banking in the money into her bank account, I called to inform her about it so she could go to the bank and withdraw the money. She was so happy she ended the call with, “Terima kasih cu… peluk cium dari Opah!” Hmmm… even my real Opah (may Allah bless her soul) never said such things to me…

Early this week I received a text message from Maria. She was feeling down as her mother just passed away last Friday. Maria being the only child, her mother had always been staying with her, even after her marriage. I can imagine Maria feeling the emptiness now. And with her on-and-off problems with her husband, I guess Maria may feel a bit worried too now that her mother is no longer around. I must go visit her one of these days…

Fuzi’s house was repaired over the weekend. I have not gone to see it yet but I was told now her house has a proper door! Definitely more secure. It has been quite some time since my last visit to her house. I need to visit her soon and bring along the trainee volunteer who’s supposed to be my “baby” (baby for training lah!).

Ahh, but there so many things to be done… sigh!

And oh, before I forget... remember R from my posting here? Her blood test results are out and she's been confirmed negative. Yes, she's FREE from the virus, alhamdulillah!!

I love good news...

The Exhibition

Since our exhibition is held on a long weekend and many of our volunteers already had other plans, we only managed to rope in a few Buddies to volunteer for the exhibition at Ipoh Parade yesterday. As a matter of fact, for the morning shift, only our honorary secretary and myself were able to make it. Another colleague informed us he'd only be able to make it a bit later. Thank goodness the event was jointly organised with the Perak Family Health Association (PFHA); and they brought along members of a youth club under their wing, the Inteyo Club. So yaayyyy!! We had energetic youths helping out with the exhibition.

When I got to Ipoh Parade, my colleague was already there with the buntings and brochures. I was just in time to help set up our buntings. Just as I sat down to prepare a piece of paper to enable the public who'd like to become volunteers to sign up, I saw a familiar face. Whaddaya know... a school senior of mine whom I seldom got to meet despite her staying in Ipoh.

At the Buddies table, my school senior, my fellow volunteer and the lady in blue is from PFHA.

The PFHA also offered blood pressure measurement for the public and free blood sugar tests for the first 100 to register while the youths from Inteyo Club got the public to fill in a survey to find out the public's knowledge and opinion on HIV/AIDS - offering free gifts for those who agreed to do the survey.

Blood pressure and blood sugar tests.

The youths from Inteyo Club getting the public to do the survey.

On our side, we distributed our Buddies brochures and also some brochures on HIV/AIDS info provided by Malaysian AIDS Council. And oh, red ribbons too in support of people living with HIV. There were also quite a few who were interested to become volunteers. By the time I left about 2.30 pm (after the 4 volunteers for the afternoon shift arrived), I saw 7 names on the list. Hopefully there were more by the time the exhibition ended at 5.00 pm.

2 of the guys who came for the afternoon shift, enabling me to finally leave...

Overall, I think okay lah... instead of having the public run away at the sight of the word HIV/AIDS, there were some who showed interest. Of course there were still some who didn't want to get caught looking at the posters for too long... especially the poster with graphic demonstration on the right way to use a condom... hehehe...

International AIDS Memorial Day 2008

International AIDS Memorial Day (IAMD) is on the 3rd Sunday of May each year. So this year, which is also its 25th anniversary, it will be on the 18th of May. The theme for this year is NEVER GIVE UP NEVER FORGET.

This annual international event, is meant to remember all those affected directly and indirectly by the HIV/AIDS pandemic and provide an opportunity for solidarity and resolve in the challenge against HIV/AIDS.

During last year's IAMD (21st May 2007), I attended the event organised by Malaysian AIDS Council in KL (for this year MAC's event will be on 31st May), only to come back to Ipoh to find out that one of my clients, Lily, had just passed away.

Anyway, for the first time, Buddies of Ipoh will be organizing an event to commemorate IAMD. Nothing on big scale since we don’t really have the manpower, but at least for a start we are organizing an HIV/AIDS awareness exhibition on 18th May 2008, together with the Perak Family Health Association.

So this Sunday I will be at Ipoh Parade for the exhibition. Will report more on that later…

International AIDS Memorial Day

When MAC sent us an invitation to attend last year's International AIDS Memorial Day (IAMD)gathering, we (my NGO) had already planned a trip to AIDS Village, in Hatyai, Thailand. So we were not represented at that gathering. So, when the invitation came this year, we tried our best to get at least a few representatives to attend.

We managed to get 3 PLWHAs to agree - Mimi, Jah and Shila; and Shila's 7 year old daughter, Laila. Another volunteer and myself were to accompany them. The initial plan was for them to go by bus on Saturday and spend the night at the hotel (fully sponsored by MAC) before attending the IAMD the next day. I couldn't go on Saturday, so I was supposed to drive down on Sunday, and they would follow me back in my car after the event. Jah, Shila and Laila were already all excited about the prospect of putting up at a hotel.

However, things didn't really work out as planned. My fellow volunteer had to back out due to family matters; Mimi pulled out as she was not well; and Jah was already in KL at her aunt's house. Shila would have to go on her own with little Laila. And since she's not familiar with KL, she dare not go on her own. So, we had to cancel the plan of letting them stay overnight at the hotel.

Came Sunday, I picked up Shila and Laila and off we went to KL in my car. Although the function was to start only at 2 pm, we purposely left early morning so we'd have time to ronda-ronda a bit. We reached the hotel at about 10.15 am, met up with Jah, whose aunt sent her to the hotel, and went for brunch at KFC. No doubt there'd be food provided at the IAMD event, but hi-tea would probably start at about 3 pm. Shila and Laila haven't had their breakfast (they don't usually eat before travelling); while Jah, although she had roti canai and tose for breakfast while waiting for us to reach KL, is a person who can really eat, yet stay as skinny as ever!

I shall not cover much about the event itself, you can read the report by MarinaM, whom I met for the first time yesterday. Jah and Shila got all excited when they got to shake hands with Marina Mahathir!

I'd just like to add that there was a separate event held in a another room specially for the children who attended. Laila was reluctant to go at first as she's seldom separated from her mother except at school. After some coaxing, she went... and boy, she sure seemed to have a good time!

I met up with some new and old friends at the gathering, including Dr Adeeba who came straight from KLIA.

It was a memorial day indeed... my PLWHA clients seemed to make sure I remembered them! Other than Jah and Shila, a few text messages came in on my handphone - from Rashid's wife saying her husband is too weak to get up to go for hospital appointments... also from Shah (eldest son of Mr and Mrs K) who told me that the money lender said they'd have to pay by end of this month if Mrs K wants to get back her bank book and ATM card.

Then Noni called. She was supposed to have met me earlier at the hotel to get the referral letter from Ipoh ID clinic to transfer her appointment to Sg Buloh Hospital as she's now staying in KL. However, it was raining and she didn't come when I was there at the hotel. Right after I sent Jah back to her aunt's house in Selayang, Noni called to say she was right in front of the hotel. Told her to go to PWTC and I'd meet her there... I didn't want to wander too far from Jalan Kuching.

By the time we made a move to leave KL it was already 6pm. I was hoping it wouldn't rain. But boy, it rained cats and dogs along the Bernam/Tg Malim/Behrang stretch, I could hardly see!! Thank goodness by the time we reached Slim River, it was dry.

After sending Shila and Laila home, I went straight home... had my bath... and suddenly at 10pm, i heard the James Bond ringtone from my handphone. That's my PLWHA assigned ringtone. After having a good time with Jah and Shila the whole day, I thought it was just one of them calling just to tease me. Jah especially, loves to tease me just as much as I love to tease her.

But as I got hold of my handphone, Lily's name appeared. OK, I thought she was calling to tell me she was discharged from the hospital... or maybe she needed a favour. To my surprise, when I answered the call, I heard a man's voice at the other end of the line...

"Kak, saya Roy, kawan Lily. Lily dah takde. Dia baru meninggal kejap ni tadi."

Yes folks, I just wrote about her last week. International AIDS Memorial Day 2007 marks the end of the complicated life of Lily.