Sofie’s ex is back?

I’ve only got a few days left to settle my Ramadhan visits. So yesterday I went to the hypermarket (again!) – this time to buy groceries for Sofie’s family, and also milk powder and diapers for Zalia’s daughter.

So this morning off I went heading to Sofie’s house. I had already told her last week (after I got the letter from the doctor as requested by Sofie earlier) that I’d be coming on Tuesday, so I didn’t bother to remind her again this morning.

But as I got to her house this morning, the house was quiet. The windows were closed, the wooden door (which doesn’t have a knob or handle – just a a rafia string) was closed but not fully shut, and the grill door was locked, with the keys at the door! From the door I could see Sofie’s 2nd son, Azman, sound asleep. I knocked on the door and gave the salam a few times, but nope, he didn’t budge. Sofie was nowhere to be seen either. So I decided to give Sofie a call. She was at the nearby district hospital to take some medication for her asthma. When I told her I was already at her house, she said she should be back in 10 minutes.

I decided to try wake Azman up again while waiting for Sofie to come back. Finally, he got up… looking a bit blur but when he saw me he immediately opened the door for me. And knowing that usually during my visits I’d bring along some groceries, he came out of the house and followed me to my car to help unload the groceries. This time other than the usual groceries, I also brought along some raya cookies.

“Tak sekolah ke?” I asked Azman.

“Hari ni betul-betul tak larat la makcik,” came the reply.

Apparently to get some extra income for himself, during the month of Ramadhan he helps out one guy staying in a nearby kampong to bake raya cookies to be sold and the guy would pay him some money on daily basis. Now that Raya is approaching very very soon, baking of the cookies is in full swing to fulfil orders and so on Monday night, they went on to work until 4 am before the guy sent Azman home. I told Azman he shouldn’t be working so late especially on a school day! As a result, he skipped school. And he will be sitting for his PMR this year! (but somehow Azman didn’t seem to be too bothered with his PMR)

Anyway, after  a while Sofie got home. I passed her the letter from the doctor, and also some money being zakat given by some friends through me to be passed to deserving families, and Sofie certainly deserved it. She had been working hard to earn some income. For this year’s Ramadhan she had been making and supplying kuih to a canteen (but not really much because the supply was mainly for the non-Muslims) and from time to time she’d be helping out at one of the stalls at the nearby pasar Ramadhan whenever the stall owner needed an extra pair of hands at the stall.

With the income she had got so far, she has bought baju raya for her 2 younger children. Now she’s trying to get more money to buy baju raya for the older 2. I asked if she’d be going back to her hometown for Raya (she hails from somewhere up north). She said she wouldn’t be able to afford it – there’d be 5 tickets to buy if they were to balik kampong. When I asked if she’d be going to her mother-in-law’s house nearby, she said probably she’d just let her children go while she’d just stay home.

I got curious. I knew for a fact Sofie had been going to her MIL’s house quite regularly despite things not working out between her and her estranged ex-hubby, so why is she avoiding the MIL’s house now?

For the uninitiated, Sofie filed for divorce after her hubby stopped coming home for quite some time. He never even went back to his own mother’s house. Even when they were still married, the guy, a known Romeo, seldom came home. So what’s the whole point of marriage huh? The children had learnt to grow up without him.

Apparently, his family did try to search for him and one of them found him in KL. A whole lot thinner than before. And now his mother and his siblings are trying to bring him and Sofie back together again. Huh? After all that he had done… leaving her with nothing (but HIV)? Now that he is getting weaker his family wants him and Sofie to get back together? What on earth for? To add more burden on Sofie’s shoulders?!

Ahh, no wonder Sofie doesn’t want to spend Raya at her MIL’s house although it is not that far. She said she’d just let her children go over, and if they give the “line clear” indicating that their father is not there, then she may drop by for a while. If they say he’s there, she’d just stay home.

“Kalau dia yang datang sini macam mana?” I asked.

“Ahh, saya tutup tingkap, kunci pintu semua, dok diam-diam dalam rumah!” she replied.

Can’t blame her, really. I’d probably do the same if I were her…

Activities over the weekend

One more weekend before Hari Raya. By this coming weekend, I’ll be busy with own family matters at home, and so I’ll be taking time off from my voluntary work. I’d probably still get all those text messages from clients to wish me Selamat Hari Raya, but that’s about all involving my clients, I think…

So this past weekend I spent time doing matters related to my voluntary work.

On Saturday I went to visit Zainab at her new rented home. I had wanted to visit earlier during one of the weekdays, but Zainab had to work and I didn’t want to visit with just her hubby, Zaki, at home. When she told me Saturday was her off-day (she works on shift), I decided to visit the family on Saturday morning, after my pasar tani routine. After given the address by Zainab, I set the address in my GPS – although Zainab stays in Ipoh, the place she stays is not too familiar to me.

It wasn’t too much of a problem finding her house with the help of my GPS. Just as I was looking out for the house number, I saw Zaki about to come out of the house. Zaki went back in to wake Zainab up. You see, Zainab was on night shift the day before and so she slept in the morning, thinking I wouldn’t be there too early.

The house they’re staying now seems more comfortable then the previous house. However, they are sharing the house with another couple. The other couple found the rental of RM250 per month a bit too high for them and so they offered Zainab and Zaki to share the rent with them. The house has 3 rooms.

Zaki however, is still not working. He can give 1001 reasons why he had to quit almost every job he landed up with. Now he plans to stay at his mother’s house in another town as nobody is staying there now after his mother passed away 2 weeks ago. Zainab, however, cannot move together with her husband as that would mean quitting her job. What will the family survive on?

Not sure yet how the plan will work, or if the children will be following their father. We’ll just have to wait and see…

On Sunday, I had to attend the following function…

Yep, Buddies of Ipoh was again chosen as one of the recipients of funds granted by Yayasan Sultan Azlan Shah. The last one given was 2 years ago. At that time over 70 organisations were chosen to receive RM20K each. This time there were only 65 organisations receiving funds of the same amount. The Pemangku Raja himself presented the cheques to representatives of the organisations and so we had to be there an hour early for the briefing and rehearsal.

They ended up just explaining what to do and say, but only rehearsed for the first 2 rows of recipients. I was somewhere at the back row, and so the emcee didn’t get to announce The Buddies Society of Ipoh during the rehearsal. Knowing the high possibility of the emcees announcing our name as Buddhist instead of Buddies, I got up and approached the 2 emcees.

“Saya nak pastikan sebutan betul ya. Orang suka sebut Buddhist, padahalnya Buddies. Kang sebut Buddhist terkejut pulak orang tengok saya yang mengadap,” I said. The guy then responded, “Ha’ah ek, nanti apa pulak orang ingat.”

So yeah, this time they announced the name correctly… and I went home a happy mak aji with a RM20K cheque for my NGO.

To the hospital – twice in 2 days…

As I was sitting at my work table on Wednesday, a call came in on my hand phone with the Mission Impossible ring-tone. That ring-tone indicated that the call came from one of my PLHIV clients. I tend to get a bit worried whenever I hear that ring-tone. More often that not, it would mean one of my clients was in some kind of trouble and needed help.

This time the call was from Sofie, and it wasn’t really too much of a problem. Apparently she had registered for a programme which helps the poor, and an officer from the said programme called her up to ask for details and what kind of help she was seeking. Sofie, being the type who prefers to be independent but still unable to, asked if they could help out with whatever equipments needed for her to set up a stall selling kuih near her house. The officer then said they’d be coming to visit one of these days and told her to get whatever supporting documents including a supporting letter from the doctor.

And since yesterday was a public holiday in Perak, Sofie called me and asked if I could arrange to get the letter from the doctor. I told Sofie she should call the clinic herself, and speak to the staff nurse, explaining why she needed the letter. Knowing SN, she’d usually want the patients themselves to call her personally if they needed anything from the clinic. I told Soife that I’d also follow up with SN, and I don’t mind getting the letter and send it to Sofie when the letter is ready.

Later the same day, Wani called me up. Wani is the one who works for a friend during Ramadhan every year, making a few types of cookies, to be sold for Raya. For the past 2 years, Wani had sought my help to get orders for her. I had given her the orders last week, and since she was coming for her appointment on Thursday, she said she’d bring along the cookies with her to the hospital.

So yep, although I wasn’t on clinic duty yesterday, I still went to the hospital. The day before being a public holiday, yesterday there were sooooo many people! I had to go 4 rounds just to get a parking space quite a distance from the hospital.

When I got to the doctor’s room and asked the nurses if Wani had come, together they said, “Ha, ni mesti nak ambik kuih raya ni!” Ah, they too had ordered some cookies from Wani…

SN also mentioned about Sofie wanting a letter from the doctor, which meant Sofie had already called her. The other nurse said, “Dia nak surat mintak doktor kata dia tak boleh buat kerja berat. Nak surat buat apa? Tengok rupa dia pun tau dah!” Oh well, the officer who called her had not seen her yet. But since the officer had already asked for the letter, might as well get the letter ready before they come visiting.

As I was talking to the nurses, Wani came to the room and then we went to get the cookies which were kept in another room, courtesy of the nurse. With my car parked quite a distance, I was supposed to carry all these?

Wani offered to carry the box to my car, but instead I told her to wait near the staircase downstairs with the box while I went to get my car. It was much easier that way. Nobody would have to carry the box that far. The moment I got there with my car, Wani was ready to put the box into the car.

This morning, as I was getting ready to go out and deliver the cookies to my former office-mates who ordered them, a text message came in from SN, telling me that the letter for Sofie was ready.

So yes, after delivering some of the cookies to my former office-mates, off to the hospital again for the 2nd time in 2 days, despite not being on clinic duty on either day. I guess the hospital has become some sort of office for me. Thankfully, today, finding a parking wasn’t too bad. All I wanted to take was just the letter… in just about a minute or so, I was out of there. It took me longer to walk from the car to the clinic.

I immediately informed Sofie that the letter was already with me and that I plan to visit her family next week to deliver some groceries and so I’d pass her the letter then.

Meanwhile, tomorrow I plan to visit Zainab. She has moved to another house (the former landlord wanted the old house back for her own family’s use) and had given me the new address. Tomorrow my friend Mrs G (for GPS) will have to show me the way to Zainab’s new place…

Maria’s dilemma

When I got home after my clinic duty last week, Maria called me up. I did meet her earlier at the hospital, but she had not seen the doctor yet then. So while we did have a short chat, there was nothing new she had to tell me.

By the time she was done with her appointment with the doctor, I had already gone home. So she called, saying that the doctor had given her a referral letter for an appointment at the psychiatric clinic. Maria got a bit nervous and told me she was afraid to go there alone. Well yes, she’s got a husband, but as far as possible, he avoids going to the hospital with her. The only times I ever met him were one during the initial stage when Maria was diagnosed +ve (he was called to get tested as well) and the other time was after Maria delivered.

I promised Maria I’d accompany her for her first appointment at the psychiatric clinic. That was supposed to be yesterday afternoon. On Monday I sent her a text message to confirm if I got the right date and time. Maria told me she’d have to reconfirm with me. Not that she got confused with the dates, but because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to come.

You see, Maria works as an assistant at a private kindergarten. Not wanting anyone to know she has HIV, every time she has to come to Ipoh for her appointments, she’d take annual leave without telling her boss that she needed to go to the hospital, to avoid questions being asked on why she needed to do so. Her appointment at the HIV clinic was last week. Which means she already took a day off last week. Having to go to the psychiatric clinic this week would mean she’d need to take another day off. She doesn’t want to tell her boss that she needs to go to a psychiatric clinic either!

“Gurubesar saya dah bisinglah kak, banyak sangat ambil cuti bulan ni.”

Yesterday morning, the day of the appointment, Maria sent me another text message to inform me that her leave was not approved. She then asked me if she should postpone or simply cancel her appointment. “Akak tengok saya macam mana? Perlu pergi ke?”

Woah! She was asking my opinion on her and if I think she really needs to see a psychiatrist? Alamak, I’d better be careful in answering her question. Both yes and no would have implications. Luckily she asked via SMS so I had time to think. And while I was thinking of what to tell her, another text message came in from her, asking if I knew the psychiatric clinic’s phone number. She wanted to call them to arrange for a postponement. Phew! Saved me from having to answer her question.

Anyway, some people may say Maria should discuss the matter with her boss so that the boss may understand her situation better and empathise. But we must also remember that another possibility is, if told that Maria has to go to the HIV clinic, and now psychiatric clinic, her boss may just tell her to quit the job! And the news about her being HIV positive and needing to see a psychiatrist too may just be made known to others as well. Maria didn’t want to take that risk.

So looks like Maria’s appointment has to be postponed. I hope she managed to get that postponement without much hassle. Poor thing… it’s such an awkward situation for her. She’s probably getting even more depressed trying to get that leave without telling anyone why she needs it.

Visiting a new client

Having delivered groceries to 2 families on Tuesday, and having a hectic day at the clinic on Wednesday, yesterday I was planning to go out shopping again to stock up on the groceries to be delivered to the other needy families. As I was getting ready, a text message came in from a young chap, Vincent.

Vincent had emailed me earlier from Singapore, seeking my help on how he should go about to set up an appointment at the HIV clinic at Ipoh GH. I told him I could help him out if need be and so I gave him my number. I didn’t expect him to contact me so soon though. Just the day before he was emailing from Singapore and the very next morning he texted me saying he was already at the Ipoh GH.

Just as I was about to call him, another call came in on my hand phone. It was from the HIV clinic. The nurse had just called Hasnah, a PLHIV who was supposed to come for her appointment on Wednesday but did not turn up. The nurse was concerned because Hasnah had been on HAART for some time and missing her appointment would mean her supply of ARV was running out as well. When asked why, Hasnah started crying saying she didn’t have any money to come to Ipoh (her place is more than an hour’s drive away). She even went to the extent of saying, “Saya rasa macam nak bunuh diri.”

The nurse got rather concerned. She asked if Hasnah had ever met anyone from Buddies and when Hasnah said no, the nurse immediately told her, “OK takpe, jangan susah hati. Nanti saya telefon Kak Afizah bagitau.”  Indeed, immediately the nurse called me up. Since I was going to the hospital anyway to meet up with Vincent, I told the nurse, I’d drop by the clinic to get all her particulars.

So yes, off to the hospital I went. I had promised Vincent I’d call him once I got there and so that was the first thing I did, asking him where he was exactly. He was at the main building where the wards were, not at the specialist clinic where he was supposed to go. So I told him to meet me halfway. But we didn’t know how each other looked like so I just told him I was wearing green and he said he was wearing white…. (as though lah nobody else would be wearing green and white kaaan?)

Oh well, we did manage to find each other. It wasn’t really so difficult… there was this lady in green looking as though she was looking out for a guy in white. And there was this young chap in white looking as though he was looking for a lady in green. *chuckle*

I then got him to follow me to the specialist clinic, told him to wait in front of the registration counter while I went in to see the nurses at the doctor’s room.

I handed over Vincent’s referral letter to the nurses and they handed over Hasnah’s file to me so I could take down her particulars. I immediately called Hasnah, asked if I could visit her the next day, and she agreed. So the nurses gave me a month’s supply of ARV to be given to Hasnah. SN even gave me some condoms to be passed over to Hasnah. You see, Hasnah got HIV from her first husband who, after 3 kids, left her just like that after he married another woman 13 years ago. Their youngest child then was only a year old. They got divorced but the ex never bothered to pay her any alimony nor did he bother about his 3 children anymore.

2 years ago Hasnah remarried. The husband, despite knowing that Hasnah was HIV+, went on to marry her, and even got her pregnant. Their daughter is now a year old, and the husband, so far, still tested negative for HIV. But he doesn’t have a fixed income – doing odd jobs at the kampong where they stay. Sometimes he gets more, sometimes he gets less, sometimes he gets nothing at all. I suppose this time he hasn’t got enough to enable his wife to come to Ipoh for her appointment.

So this morning off I went to visit Hasnah. Since her kampong is not listed in my Papago GPS, neither could I find it in Google map, I had no choice but to depend on my own internal GPS – Guna Pertimbangan Sendiri. I did still use my Papago GPS though, set to the nearest school. Once I passed the school, I called Hasnah to get further directions to get to her house. She told me to just drive straight in until I got to a row of houses and to call her again once I got there.

I had to drive another 6 or 7 kilometres in before passing the row of houses and then I called her again.

Me: “Akak dah sampai simpang tiga ni.”

Hasnah: “Akak jalan terus lagi.”

Me: “Errrr… terus?? Kalau terus akak masuk parit…”

Hasnah: “Eh, jap, jap! Saya tanya sepupu saya…. ohhhh…. akak belok kanan pastu teruuuuuus je sampai naik bukit, nanti nampak jalan xxx.”

Boy, they sure love to use the word TERUS when giving road directions, don’t they?

That was the only hiccup though. I did manage to find her house. The house looked pretty nice and quite big I must say. One look and you may think she’s not poor. But she is, really.

You see, all the while after her divorce, Hasnah was supported by her mother, who, as a first generation Felda settler, got some fixed monthly income. Hasnah never really had a problem when her mother was around. But her mother unexpectedly passed away early last year at the age of 62. Just before she died, she got the house renovated by getting a loan. After her death, the monthly income from Felda had to be used to repay the loan. There was a small extension at the back of the house, which the mother made specifically for Hasnah, telling the rest of the siblings, who stay elsewhere, that should anything happen to her (the mother), the extension is for Hasnah’s family.

As for the main house, for the moment Hasnah looks after the house, and would move to her own extension unit when her other siblings comes home for Raya or any family gatherings. Hasnah doesn’t have to pay rent, but she still has to pay for utilities. Ever since her mother died, there were already a few times when either their water or electricity supply were about to get cut off. Hasnah really really felt the hardship since slightly more than a year ago. Her eldest brother does give her about RM200 a month, but now with a toddler in the house, that amount is not even enough for the toddler alone.

Her 3 older children are all in secondary school now, one will be sitting for his SPM this year. Hasnah has yet to pay for her eldest son’s necessary fees. I told Hasnah we should have no problem helping out with her children’s educational needs.

I then took out the load of groceries from my car and before I left, I gave her some cash, courtesy of friends who read my FB status update about Hasnah.

“Alhamdulillah, murah rezeki saya hari ni. Terima kasih kak.”

To the donors, the terima kasih is meant for you too.