Help them please!

Can you imagine yourself in the following situation?

I wonder what were the final words from the mother to her child... sigh...

Oh the poor child!

Folks, they have nowhere to run to. They have nowhere to hide. They need help!

Mercy Malaysia is appealing for cash contributions to help them procure emergency surgical kits, medicines and hospital equipments to help the hospitals in Gaza. Every little bit counts... so yes, help them please!

Please read Elviza's for more info.



p/s

Pics taken from a forwarded email.

Divorced... and so the children are no longer your responsibility, huh?

I finally managed to do my first house visit for this year.

After going to my NGO center and stuffing some groceries into my car (the groceries were donated by some good Samaritans), off I headed to Lin’s place. I sent her a text message to inform her I was on my way; just to be sure she’d be home. It took about half an hour to get to her place from Ipoh town.

Only Lin and her youngest daughter were home when I got there. Her 3 older daughters are all furthering their studies elsewhere – all under scholarship, alhamdulillah. Her 4th child, who’s also her eldest son, currently waiting for his SPM results, is seldom home. The 5th, also a boy, was in school (afternoon session).

It was when I was chatting with Lin when her son (the one waiting for results) came in, and after a while, left again. I asked Lin what her son was doing while waiting for his results to come out.

“Macam itu lah,” said Lin. “Bila lapar dia balik rumah. Dah kenyang dia keluar balik.”

Unlike his 3 older sisters who back then were all busy doing temporary jobs to earn extra income for the family, this boy prefers to lepak-lepak with his friends before the exam results are announced.

Lin had called me earlier, wanting to apply for our Children Education Fund to help out with her 2 younger children’s back-to-school needs. I am also submitting her application for our Sponsorship program, but this one will take some time as the sponsorship committee will need to do a house visit for assessment purposes, and once approved, we will need to find individual sponsors first.

But the children’s father is still alive, and working! Yep, their father, our dear Mr Darling! Well, apparently he only gave them money as and when he felt like it. Lin had to resort to bringing the matter to the Pejabat Agama. She didn’t bother to do that earlier because she was working then and as she said, “Tak nak cari gaduh.” But ever since she had to quit her last job when she was hospitalized, she was no longer earning any income for her family. If Mr Darling didn’t give anything, then his own children will not have enough to eat. But he only gave when the children asked – and even then he didn’t give much.

When Lin brought the matter to Pejabat Agama, Mr D scolded her. He said she could have just asked from him for the money. Yeah right! Even when they were both in front of the Ustaz to settle the matter and Lin was asking for nafkah for their 3 younger children, Mr D had the cheek to ask if he still had to pay for the older son who had just finished his SPM. Duh! The Ustaz told him straight in the face that even after his SPM, the son is still his responsibility. Maybe Mr D thinks that as long as the children don’t stay with him, they are not his responsibility.

Ahh yes, Mr D got married recently, didn’t he? That’s why his budget is quite tight. He needs to spend more on his new wife. So much so that he had been suggesting to Lin to seek help from welfare bodies. “Perempuan senang sikit dapat bantuan”, so he said. “Mintaklah dengan Buddies. Boleh dapat RM600 sebulan”, he added.

Waaah, so clever one! He expects Buddies to take over his responsibilities as the father, huh? Hello Mr konon-konon soft spoken guy! You were the one who gave HIV to Lin… the reason for her to be hospitalized recently, and causing her to lose her job, and now you expect others to take over YOUR responsibility as the father to your children??! Kirim salaaammm!!!

In the first place, other than our Children Education Fund meant only for children’s schooling, we don’t give out financial aid to our clients. We assist them to ask for financial aid elsewhere, yes, but we ourselves don’t give money to them. And RM600 a month? I wonder where he got the figure from!

My guess is his ex-gilafriend… oops, I mean ex-girlfriend… (YAH lah, who else!) had told him about the monthly aid she had been receiving from a particular anonymous donor. I had told her time and again the money was from an anonymous donor, not from Buddies, but every time she’d still be asking me when the money was going to be banked in.

Adoii, dah ada orang tolong tu pergi cerita pulak kat orang lain berapa dia dapat! Dok je lah diam-diam! I myself don’t know how much the donor gives – Mr D seems to know better!

Well, maybe the donor has stopped giving the monthly donation – because Yah called me recently and asked if she could apply for our CEF for her son as she didn’t have enough money to buy her son’s schooling needs. Frankly, I think it is better for us to consider her children for CEF and/or sponsorship. Since we control the money, at least we can be sure the money is only used for her children’s education – not for her to go karaoke-ing away!

But that’s a different story.

Back to Lin and Mr D, it was decided that Mr D is to give RM100 for each child – meaning he has to give a nafkah of RM300 per month to Lin. It is officially in black and white. But RM300/month is barely enough to buy basic necessities for her children and to pay for her utility bills. There is definitely not enough to spare for her children’s back-to-school expenses. So Lin has to look for other options, including as she said, to “buat muka tak malu minta bantuan”.

At the moment, Lin sends/fetches her children to/from school. She is however, looking around for a job and if she gets one, she will need to look for other means of transportation for her children. It would be good if they can get a bicycle each so they can cycle to school, but Lin can’t afford to buy bicycles. So yes, one of my tasks right now is to look for donors to buy bicycles for her children.

One thing I noticed is that Lin’s children are doing quite well in their studies despite their family problems. To me it is definitely worth helping them out with their educational needs. Hopefully one fine day when they have succeeded, they will help out their mother and others like her.

Oh, I forgot one thing, didn't I? Who married Mr Darling?

No, not Yah. Not any of my other PLHIV clients either. He got married to a northerner - am not sure if she is a fellow PLHIV or not as I don't know who she is.

Anti-climax, huh? :)

Effects of the global economy crisis

Wah! Heavy issue eh? Don't worry, am not writing a thesis or anything of that sort. If I am, I'd probably die before I can finish the thesis!

Maybe some of us don't feel the effects from the global economy crisis too much. Yes, we complain about prices of things going up, we complain we have to spend so much to buy this and that. We complain that we have to spend more now when our pay remains the same. We complain that despite the price of petrol going down, the prices of necessities have yet to follow suit. What goes up must come down? Naah... doesn't apply here!

Despite all our complaints, shopping complexes are still full of people, the queues at the cashiers at supermarkets are still long, parking lots at shopping complexes are still full on weekends. Yes, yes, like it or not, we still have to buy necessities.

Have we ever thought that for some people out there, in addition to the prices of daily needs increasing, worst still is the fact that they may get less earnings each month?

This posting is actually about my PLHIV clients - particularly the single mothers under my wing. I am not writing about hypothetical situations, I am writing about what I see with my own eyes and what I hear with my own ears.

For my clients who are not currently working, like Lin, Yah and Fuzi, it will even be tougher for them to find jobs to support their family. Lin used to work at a restaurant, but when she was hospitalised a few months back, she had to quit as her employer couldn't afford to give too long leave to employees. It was either you'd better come for work or out you go!

Yah used to work until her in-laws informed the employer about her HIV status, causing her to lose her job.

Fuzi? With her citizenship status, it will even be harder for her to find a job.

Then there's Zainab and Hana who work at factories. No, not any unknown factories belonging to simply any Ali or Ah Seng or Muthu but factories belonging to well known companies. Since the manufacturing sector is badly affected by the economy crisis, understandably they need to cut down on costs. Thankfully, Zainab and Hana are not retrenched, but their work shifts are reduced and they get to do less overtime. Zainab is on leave for the whole of this week while Hana gets called to work only when there are things that need to be done. For some it seems, the workers work 3 days a week. For those who work on "ada kerja ada gaji" basis like Zainab and Hana, this only means they now earn much less then they ever did, when they need to spend much more.

I graduated during the economy crisis of the 80's. Jobs were hard to come by and so I grabbed any job opportunities I could land myself on. And my first job was as a casual staff at an issuing house - earning RM10 a day (this was in 1987). I had to depend on overtime to earn more (sometimes I had to work from 8.30 am to 8.30 am the next day - particularly when public ballots were involved). But when there were no share issues, I'd be out of a job - earning zilch! So yes, although I didn't have any dependents to support, and I could depend on family support when I was out of a job, I can still understand the situation people like Zainab and Hana is facing right now.

This week I will start my house visits after the long break.

I shall start off today by visiting Lin.

LIN? Oooo... does that mean I will get the answer to the cliffhanger... Who Married Mr. Darling?

Stay tuned... :)

More Sponsors Needed

Hi folks! School reopens today, and it seems for whatever reason, most of the schools of the children under our Education Sponsorship for Children programme are only giving out the report cards when school reopens. As such, I will have to wait until I can gather all the info on the sponsored children before I can send out the reports on the children to the respective sponsors, and ask for this year's sponsorship money. I would prefer to send out the reports of the children before asking for this year's sponsorship so that the sponsors will at least know the developments of the child they are sponsoring. Which is really making life rather difficult for me, because I have to get the reports ready and at the same trying to settle the sponsored children's back-to-school needs before I can ask for the money! Lecehlah, if the various schools could give out the report cards before the last school holidays, I could have prepared the reports earlier and won't be so kelam-kabut when school reopens.

Now this sponsorship programme is becoming like a full time job for me... so much so that even though as the chairperson I am also in charge of my NGO's volunteer care, I am doing a LOUSY job at the latter because this sponsorship thingy is already taking up so much of my time. But I guess I will have to prioritize things... volunteer care is no doubt important to make sure all the volunteers are doing okay and are well motivated, but since the sponsorship involves handling other people's money entrusted in us for the education of needy children, I definitely have to give that top priority.

Anyway, we are looking for more sponsors this year as we have more children needing education sponsorship. We already have 3 children already approved for sponsorship, and there may be more coming. Of the 3, one is HIV infected. The sponsorship amount by the way is RM1,200/year for primary school and RM1,800/year for secondary school - payable either yearly or half yearly. The 3 newly approved children are all in primary school. The money will be used to pay for the child's basic schooling needs (including uniforms, shoes, stationeries, exercise books and workbooks), co-curricular activities (fees, uniforms etc), monthly pocket money, bus fares (if necessary), tuition (if necessary) and whatever other necessities as long as it is for the education of the children.

So, if any one of you readers are interested, or if you know of anyone who may be interested, you may contact us for further info.

Those who'd like to contribute but do not dare commit themselves to sponsor the children individually, you may still contribute one-off (any amount accepted, however small) to our Children Education Fund (CEF), which is a separate fund used to cover for the back-to-school expenses of the children who are not individually sponsored but still need help at the beginning of each schooling year.

You may either email Buddies or you may email me personally - I read them both!

Thanks folks!

What's Up?

It had been quite a long break for me (from blogging and even from my voluntary work), I'm finding it hard to get back to my normal mode. It has been quite a while since I last visited any of my PLHIV clients - I'd better start visiting them soon... especially those with children under our Education Sponsorship program. I need to finalise the reports for each sponsored child to be sent to the various sponsors but for the moment I am still waiting for the reports on a few more children. Everybody has been busy it seems... maybe we need to seriously consider having someone full time at our NGO center.

So, what have I been blogging about for the past year?

There's Fuzi with her problems in getting her marriage cert legalised... and problems in getting her daughter's MyKad done... and her son's disciplinary problem...

There's Ifa who was caught for khalwat and who admitted she skipped her medication during weekends when she'd be at discos and taking ecstasy pills.

Then there's Yah who seemed to be driving people (me included) up the wall... Mr and Mrs K who got back to square one after all the help we gave them because they simply didn't know how to manage their finances... Baby K who was diagnosed with a hole-in-heart... Hana who's always so blur... Anita who's 21 but has yet to get her IC done because of some technical problems with her nationality status... Razif who was scared to break the news of his HIV to his wife...

Well, chances are I'll be blogging about the same type of stories this year. Here's some brief updates on some happenings during my break.

1. Majid SMSed me after one particular MB made some comments about people with HIV. Majid felt as though he was looked down upon as a "sampah masyarakat" and so he wanted to know my opinion on the MB's comments. There he was trying to lead a better life and yet someone high up in position thinks he shouldn't be given chance to lead a normal life. I personally think the MB has been getting the wrong info from the wrong people. Sigh...

2. Mrs K called a colleague of mine to ask if there will be any financial assistance for her family. She didn't dare call me direct after I told her off the last time she tried to borrow money from me.

3. I am having problems finalising the  reports on the sponsored children as many of the schools involved will only give out the student's report card for last year's exams when school reopens. Some haven't even got their booklist out yet. Susahlah ini macam... I need to ask for the sponsorship money for this year lah people!!!

4. Lin asked if she can apply for financial help for her children's back-to-school needs. I told her we can consider her for our Children Education Fund. Her children have been nagging her for their schooling needs but she simply didn't have enough money. She stopped working when she was hospitalised a few months ago. Her ex-hubby only started paying nafkah for the children in late December after Lin brought the matter to Mahkamah Syariah - even then she's only getting RM300 per month which is obviously not enough for her children's needs especially when school reopens and so many things need to be paid. Anyway, Mr Darling is supposed to pay the nafkah by the 25th of each month but for last month he only paid on the 27th... giving the excuse that he didn't have enough money. And guess what? According to Lin, Mr Darling actually remarried recently (that's why he didn't have enough money I suppose??). Now, now... I wonder who's the victim...

Ahh... I bet you're curious to know too... :)