Cure for angau needed, fast!

From the title of this posting, I bet you can already tell who the main star of today’s story is.

Yep, none other than Yah Ah Ngau…

As I had told you earlier, Yah was supposed to come to Ipoh GH for her blood test on the 13th of December. Due to the alarming results of her viral load test, SN sought my help to get Yah to see her on that day. SN wanted to find out if Yah had been taking her medication correctly and regularly.

Yah reminded me a few times that she wanted to see me on the day. She said she had some problems which she wanted to talk over with me. I told her I’d only be able to see her after 1 pm. It is a hectic time at the office now with deadlines to meet.

I was actually expecting Yah to call yesterday. So the moment I heard the James Bond ring tone, I assumed it was from Yah I didn’t check the name of the caller. But when I heard the voice at the other end, I knew the sweet voice I heard was not Yah’s. It was Asiah, who happened to be at the GH for her blood test too. Asiah is not my client but seemed comfortable talking to me. She called just to find out if I was at the hospital. Since I was busy at my office, she didn’t insist on seeing me… unlike the angau someone else…

About 11.30am, Yah sent me an SMS saying she was done with her blood test and her session with SN was also over. I told her to wait and that I’d pick her at the usual place at 1 pm. I was not about to leave my office early just because a PLWHA client wanted to see me unless it was a real emergency. And I don’t classify angau as an emergency case (unless it is a life and death situation… but hopefully Yah’s angauism will never reach that stage!)

Off I went to the hospital to fetch her at 1 pm. I had to go elsewhere at 2 pm so whatever she wanted to discuss with me would have to be discussed in the car on the way to the bus station where I was sending her. After all, when she insisted she needed to see me, she did mention she wouldn’t take any more than half an hour.

So there I was waiting for her to say something. She didn’t say anything. I guess she didn’t know where to start. I had to start off the conversation by asking about her children. Kak Long and Kak Ngah will be going to an orphanage at the beginning of next year as per their own request. Although there is no black and white yet on this matter, I was told it is almost as good as confirmed. And according to Yah, the people managing the orphanage told her that she need not bring anything for the kids. The orphanage will prepare everything for them. So, for the moment I’m taking out their names from the list of recipients of our Children’s Education Fund. However I told Yah to inform me if there are any changes.

Abang Chik too initially wanted to join his sisters, but knowing him, he wouldn’t last a day at the orphanage. Besides being a hyperactive child, he is also so manja with his Tok Wan.

Since Yah still did not mention anything about the problem she wanted to discuss with me, I asked her direct what the problem was.

Yah: “Apa lagi kak, masalah itu lah.”
Me: “Masalah itu tu apa? Pasal xxx (Mr Darling’s name)?”
Yah: “Ha’ah.”
Me: “Kenapa, dia kacau lagi ke?”
Yah: “Tak, dia dah tak talipon saya dah. Tapi sayalah yang tak boleh lupakan dia. Asyik teringat kat dia je. Cuba talipon dia tak dapat. Dia dah tukar nombor talipon.”
Me: “Kalau dia tukar nombor talipon, dia saja mengelaklah tu.”
Yah: “Saya cuba tanya kawan dia sorang tu tapi kawan dia pun tak tau nombor talipon baru dia.”
Me: “Laa… dah dia buat macam tu gi cari nombor talipon dia lagi buat apa?! Cuba-cubalah lupakan dia!”
Yah: “Habis macam mana saya nak buat ni kak? Saya TAK BOLEH lupakan dia.”

Adoii… kes parah! I had told her earlier not to layan him but Yah was stubborn. Her daughter had voiced out she didn’t like Yah befriending this guy, but Yah was stubborn. Now she can’t forget this guy, she expects me to come up with a solution?

I immediately switched to “ustazah” mode. Yah just looked down and kept quiet as I gave her a short lecture. I asked her to seek help from God and that she must not expect other people to solve her problem when she was the one who knowingly got into it in the first place. I told her she’s the one who must try to overcome the problem. I told her that when she seeks help from God, it must come sincerely from deep down inside her. She can’t expect me to wave a magic wand and then…. whoosh… she forgets him!

Just to be sure, I asked Yah again, what actually took place the night she slept over at the home of Mr. Darling’s mom.

Yah: “Nasib baik dia tak dapat apa dia nak.”
Me: “Dia nak apa?” (Playing innocent… kasi chan lah!)
Yah: “Dia nak tu lah.”

Oh okay, for those of you still playing innocent, Mr. Darling wanted to have sex with Yah. But Yah refused. Or so she claimed.

Hah! I had suspected from day one that Mr. Darling just wanted Yah to fulfill his sex desires! That’s it! Nothing more, nothing less. That was why he proposed to her the moment he found out Yah was a widow. I bet he would have proposed to any single PLWHA lady he met! He didn’t really want to get married; he just wanted to have sex! If he was really serious, he could have pestered Yah again for her hand in marriage. But no, since Yah refused to have sex with him, he didn’t proceed further! He instead changed his number so Yah could not contact him. I bet even if Yah did give in, he would have still disappeared after getting what he wanted. Cheh!

I am pissed off not just with Mr. Darling, but also with Yah. After all that, she still wants to get in touch with him. What the heck for? Obviously Mr. Darling didn’t really want her but now she’s the one who can’t get him out of her mind.

Out of sight, out of mind? Yeah, when he’s out of her sight, she’s out of her mind!! DUH!!

Anyway, on another note, Yah’s brother asked Yah to help him run his newly opened food stall in KL. Part of the working capital came from Yah’s EPF money. Yah’s mother is not too keen on the idea of Yah moving to KL.

To me personally, since she already has a share in it, she might as well help to run it as well. Hopefully with something keeping her busy, she can try get her mind off Mr. Darling. If she does decide to join her brother in KL, the 2 younger kids will not follow her. They have been staying with their Tok Wan since small, so Tok Wan will not let them go.

Frankly, the way Yah is behaving of late, I think it is best that the 2 older sisters go to the orphanage and the 2 younger kids stay with their Tok Wan.

Even as I dropped Yah off at the bus station, she told me she was not going home. She was sleeping over a female friend’s house in another town. “Runsing balik rumah!” so she said.

Oh dear, is this really the same Yah, the tough lady I knew earlier? Somehow she’s beginning to sound more and more like a troubled teenager.

Where have I failed?!

The Dreaded SMS

Wednesday, 28th November 2007:

I was in my office when an SMS came in from Shila, asking if I was busy. She was at the HIV clinic for her appointment and so happened to bump into her good friend Jah as well. So they thought it would be a good opportunity for them to meet up with me. I promised to pick them up at the hospital and bring them out for lunch.

Apparently it was quite a busy day at the HIV clinic because appointments initially scheduled for 29th November was brought forward to the 28th November as all the staff needed to go to KL the next day to attend the 1st National AIDS Conference beginning friday, in conjunction with World AIDS Day on 1st December. So when I got to the hospital, Shila just came out of the doctor’s room and both Shila and Jah had yet to get their supply of medication. Since there were so many patients waiting for their turn to get their medication, we decided to go for lunch first. Shila’s daughter Laila, also tagged along. After lunch, I had to send them back to the hospital so they could go to the pharmacy.

What’s that? Was that the dreaded SMS? Oh no, no, no… Shila’s SMS was not the dreaded SMS. Buying them lunch was not a problem at all.

Just as I was relaxing at home that evening, I heard the James Bond ring tone on my phone. It was from Yah. She said she needed my help as she was supposed to get her supply of medication on the 29th but she couldn’t find the slip. Just last week she asked me what day was the 29th of November. She must have held the slip in her hands when she asked me that question and then forgot where she kept it. How to remember the medication slip if all she remembered was Mr. Darling??

Anyway, I told her there was nothing I could do if she lost the slip. I’m not a doctor and I cannot write her a new one. And guess what? Yah had actually wanted me to call the staff nurse (SN) to get her a new slip because… ready for this? “Saya takut nanti kena marah!”

Sheeesh! She lost the slip and she’s scared the nurse would scold her?! All the while before this she was willing to face so many things without fear, yet this time she’s afraid the nurse would scold here? It seems she’s beginning to behave like a child ever since the angau bug got to her. I sternly told her she’d have to call SN herself. Besides, I had to attend 2 meetings the next day so I wouldn’t have the time to make all the calls. And knowing SN, even if I did call on Yah’s behalf, SN would probably just tell me to get Yah to call her herself.

Then I told Yah that most likely on Thursday nobody would answer the phone because everybody at the HIV clinic was going to KL. Yah then asked me what she was supposed to do. How on earth would I know what to do? The only option was for Yah to keep on looking for the slip until she finds it!

Thursday, 29th November 2007:

Early morning after my morning gardening routine, there was a text message on my phone. It was from Yah, telling me that she had found the slip and was already on the way to Ipoh. There… all she needed to do was to concentrate harder. She knew she didn’t have any other choice but to find the slip and so she did. Duh!

I had 2 business clients’ board meeting to attend that day so I set my hand phone to silent mode. Although I had already told Yah I had to attend meetings, who knows, she may not have really digested everything that I said and still call me when she gets to Ipoh. I wasn’t about to let the James Bond ring tone disturb the 2 meetings.

No, there were no missed calls. So I thought Yah was doing fine.

Friday, 30th November 2007:

After washing my car this morning, I went into my house and noticed there was a text message on my phone. Yep, this time it was the dreaded SMS. It was the kind I was actually expecting to come but deep down inside me I was hoping I would never get.

The SMS from Yah this morning read:

“Kak, besok hari Sabtu kak ada kerja tak? Saya nak jumpa kak sekejap dalam pukul 3. Saya banyak masalah. Bukan masalah duit. Mungkin kak banyak pengalaman memberi jalan yang terbaik. Akhir sekali saya pohon maaf.”

Ooooooh boy!!! Lots of problems? Not financial problems? Yah did not mention what kind of problems she had but based on our last few conversations; I bet they had something to do with her relationship with Mr. Darling and/or her relationship with her own family due to her relationship with Mr. Darling. Honestly I had expected that coming.

And she mentioned that I may be able to help her out as I had lots of experience… hmmm… I wonder what kind of experience she meant. If she was talking about angauism, I don’t have even the slightest experience!

OK, I shall not jump to conclusions before I manage to talk to Yah. For all I know, it may be a whole different kind of problem. To find out for sure, we will just have to wait.

And oh, if you expect to get some updates this weekend, sorry folks! I told Yah I won’t be able to see her tomorrow. You see, I’ll be in KL this weekend for some family matters so Yah’s matters will just have to wait.

And you too will have to wait for the next episode of Yah’s story…