When Puan Nur went to the shelter home last week to fetch Sharifah and Cek Mek, she didn't notify anyone about it - not me, not Kak Ana, not the welfare officer who had called her earlier. She only told me and Kak Ana when she was already on her way there. Puan Nur, thinking that she had troubled me enough since before Cek Mek was born, right to the time when we sent Sharifah and Cek Mek to the shelter home, didn't want to trouble me anymore and decided to make her own arrangements to fetch her daughter and grandchild.
Puan Nur didn't tell me about the welfare officer's earlier phone call either. If she had, at least I would have known about the possibility of Cek Mek's case being reported to the state welfare; and I would have insisted that Kak Ana lets her take both Sharifah and Cek Mek home. The state welfare wouldn't have been called in had Kak Ana allowed Puan Nur to take the baby along.
So much for not wanting to trouble me. Now they're troubling me even more as I now need to deal with another party. But come to think of it, remember in my letter to Cek Mek I mentioned that I learnt a lot from this episode? Well, looks like Allah wants me to learn even more. Surely there is a hikmah behind all these.
After browsing the internet looking for the address and telephone number of the new shelter home, I also looked for any other similiar homes under the welfare department closer to Puan Nur's home. I wanted to be ready with options to suggest to Puan Nur and Sharifah.
I needed to talk to Puan Nur to get more info, especially on their stand. It's rather difficult now that Puan Nur and Sharifah are at one town, baby another town, and myself another town. I did mention in my earlier posting that most of the time I'd rather be a listener than an interrogator. Well, it's interrogation time!
So yesterday evening I called Puan Nur. There was no answer. Maybe she was busy elsewhere and didn't hear the phone ring. I waited, hoping for her to return my call. After about 10 minutes, my phone rang - James Bond ringtone. Yep, it was Puan Nur. But before I could answer, the phone stopped ringing. She's purposely giving me a missed call? I figured she must have ran out of credit... after the calls she had to make earlier in the morning, twice to me and another one to the hospital welfare officer. She couldn't cut those conversations short as there were many things to discuss.
I called back, and the first thing I heard was, "Kak... sorry kak... credit habislah." Yeah, I knew that already...
Puan Nur was on her way back from somewhere, so Sharifah was not with her. I told her I've already got the address and phone number of the new shelter home where the welfare officers are sending the baby, and I intend to call the person in charge of the new home next week, but before that I'd need to know Puan Nur's and Sharifah's stand first. I told her to tell me if they have problems at home and what would be the problem if Cek Mek stays with them. I told her I need a more decisive answer. I told her I truly truly want to help, but they are not making it easy for me with their frequent change of scripts!
Before Cek Mek's birth, they wanted to give the baby away for adoption. Then they saw and touched the baby, they decided to keep her. But since they were not ready to bring her home yet, they thought of leaving her at a shelter home first and take her back later. When I suggested that Sharifah herself should stay with the baby at the shelter home for 2 months at least to bond with the little girl, they agreed. But after seeing how uncomfortable they were at the shelter home, Puan Nur decided to take them both home after just 2 weeks, without consulting anyone. Since Kak Ana wouldn't let her bring Cek Mek home, she brought only Sharifah home. And after a whole week of being separated from her baby, Sharifah began thinking of looking for a job first before taking the baby home. Then after a while, she cried and wanted to go back and stay with the baby at the shelter home. Then changed her mind again when she felt that she couldn't afford to take care of the girl without getting herself a job. If only Kak Ana had let them take the baby home in the first place, the baby would already be home and this fickle-mindedness wouldn't have occurred.
Puan Nur finally admitted to me that they felt they couldn't afford to take care of the baby - not just yet. When she was oh so determined to take care of them both earlier, she was thinking Sharifah would be home to take care of the little girl. Then when Sharifah went home without her baby, Sharifah told her about wanting to work, because Puan Nur doesn't earn much whereas raising a baby would require a lot of money - diapers, milk powder and whatever else. "Ya tak ya jugak," thought Puan Nur... but if Sharifah goes to work, who's going to take care of the baby at home? Sharifah was thinking of sending the girl to a babysitter while she's at work, until Puan Nur reminded her, "Hang nak bayaq dengan apa?" Aduuuuh...
I asked Puan Nur why she didn't tell me her problem earlier. I told her I could only suggest options if I knew what her problem was. I assured her that I really meant to help and I wasn't expecting anything from her in return. After all that I had gone through with my little Cek Mek, I can't help but feel a bit attached to the little girl. I would love it if she stays somewhere near Ipoh so I could see her often. But I cannot think of myself. I love the little girl... so much so that I want her to be loved and cared by her own loving mother!
I have seen how loving Puan Nur and Sharifah are to each other. I love seeing their mother-daughter relationship... the best-of-friends kind of relationship. Oh okay, maybe sometimes they make some silly decisions, but I can vouch that they are loving enough. I'd love to see my little Cek Mek getting the same kind of love.
One thing for sure is that Sharifah does want Cek Mek because that little girl may be the only child she'd ever have. But based on the present situation, maybe it's better if she works first, and then after two or three months, if she earns enough monthly to be able to afford sending Cek Mek to a babysitter, she can take the baby home with her.
When Sharifah was at the shelter home earlier, representatives from a particular company in Ipoh went to visit the home. When they met Sharifah and found out she was thinking of getting a job after leaving the shelter home, one of the officers left her name card, asking Sharifah to call her if she'd like to work with their company. She'd try to find a suitable post for Sharifah.
So far Sharifah had yet to call that lady. For the moment she's looking around for a job at her hometown. She'd prefer to work at her hometown so at least she could stay with her mother and so she doesn't have to worry about renting a house or a room.
I told Puan Nur that if Sharifah has no choice but to work in Ipoh, I would help find a suitable room for her to rent. And if that happens, then might as well let Cek Mek stay at her new shelter home just a little while longer until Sharifah is capable of supporting herself and her child. Sharifah can visit her child during weekends as the place is not that far from Ipoh. In fact, I don't mind volunteering to bring Sharifah there and I'm sure you know why... :)
But if Sharifah finds a job at her hometown, maybe the next best thing to do is to ask for my little Cek Mek to be transferred to a similar shelter home (still under welfare department) nearer to their place. Further from me, but nearer to her mother. The important thing is, Sharifah must must must visit her baby often.
Those were the suggestions I gave to Puan Nur. I asked them to think it over thoroughly and whatever their decision, I'd still help them. At the end of the conversation, I asked Puan Nur to convey my salam to Sharifah and to tell her to be more decisive.
"Tolonglah jangan tukar skrip banyak-banyak kali. Pening kepala otak akak la," I said, to which Puan Nur responded with, "Kaaaak.... sorry kaaaak!!"
Ah well, but you know what? I think there's something else they're not telling me.
Puan Nur and Sharifah only mentioned that Puan Nur's income is not sufficient to cover for the baby's needs. Sharifah's father is still alive, and working. How come his name was never mentioned? Sharifah did mention a bit about her father initially when I first handled her case but later on it's always, "Nanti bincang dengan mak dulu." I remember when I asked Sharifah earlier if her father was furious with her, she said her father did not scold her but he had a fight with Puan Nur instead. "Tapi sat ja, lepaih tu okay dah," so she claimed.The house that they stayed in earlier was together with Sharifah's "Tok", who happens to be her father's mother.
I knew about Puan Nur's plan to move to a new house. But after the move, I somehow no longer hear about Sharifah's father. In fact, when she went to fetch Sharifah last week, I thought she went with her husband, but later I found out she went with a friend, in the friend's car.
And remember during the first week after Cek Mek was born, we had to delay sending Sharifah and Cek Mek to the shelter home as there were some problems in getting her discharged, and Puan Nur had to go home by hook or by crook to settle something? Well, I overheard (honest, I wasn't eavesdropping) her talking to someone on the phone, "Esok aku memang kena balik, pagi Rabu kena pi mahkamah."
I didn't bother to ask lah, it was none of my business.
Hmmm... but putting all the pieces together, don't you think there's something else they're not telling me?
Aduh, this is getting a bit stressful. Thank God I've got this blog to de-stress... so bear with me, okay folks?
10 comments:
Hai Pi..miss reading your entries..internet asyik disrupted.Ni Dato' dah back from KL, I pinjam broadband dia.
Macam mana yea..kesian Sharifah, Pn Nur and Cek Mek..I am only guessing so kesianlah whats happening to Pn Nur and her hubby..hope they'll sort out their private thing in an amicable way..dah banyak sangat pain they're shouldering..
Pi,
Pak Zawi lebih kesian kat Pi, bab semua masalah orang lain yang Pi kena tanggung.
Semoga Allah akan memberi ganjaran yang setimpal atas jasa Pi kepada masyarakat.
oh pi, what a tangled and sad situation. real life sure beats any drama script.
i'm with you in thinking that puan nur is having problems with her own marriage. no wonder lah syarifah jadi a young hiv+ unmarried mother. kesian sungguh!
i tarik balik my feeling of impatience with them. it must really be hard to make clear-headed decisions when faced with life-changing situations all at the same time. and money seems to be short too, yah?
Mamasita,
I pun guessing only - but my guess is based on my observations and my gut feeling. The thing is, my gut feeling most of the time betul. I think they were already having problems before lah. Sharifah's pregnancy simply made matters worse.
Pak Zawi,
Nak kata I kena tanggung masalah orang lain tu taklah. Cuma I feel obliged to help them out because obviously they need help. Tak sampai hati pulak nak biar gitu je. I know Sharifah masih boleh dibimbing and Puan Nur pulak right now needs all the moral support she can get. I cuma tolong sekadar yang mampu. Apa-apa pun, they still have to make their own decisions.
Mekyam,
I am actually 90% confident Puan Nur is having marriage problems. Cumanya masalah Sharifah pun dah cukup berat dah, I don't think Puan Nur would want to share her marriage problems with me, at least not yet. It looks to me as though Puan Nur herself needs to get back on her feet, but she's putting up a strong face, because her daughter needs more help now. Takpe, I will continue to lend her my moral support.
Dear Pi, Ramai yang 'takut' dgn 'pihak berkuasa', in this Kak Ana. Kalau Puan Nur dan Sharifah 'berkeras' rasanya sure Kak Ana 'release' Cek Mek. After all Sharifah tu kan Mak dia. Pasal Puan Nur dan Sharifah ni tak consult Pi rasanya samalah macam Akak punya experience dgn Kak Su yang ada anak cacat tu. Anak Kak Su tak boleh berjalan. Dah tu walaupun dah dekat 10 tahun masa Akak kenal dia orang, perangai masih macam budak 2 tahun. Cakap pun tak pandai. Bapa budak ni kerja Jaga sekolah. Mak tak kerja sebab nak jaga anak 24/7. Pernah 'panjat' Jabatan Kebajikan minta bantuan tapi pegawai tak tolong. Marah-marah lagi sebab kacau waktu minum pukul 10 dia. Lepas tu Kak Su tak pergi lagi. Katanya pegawai tu buat dia rasa macam minta sedekah. Tambahan pula tak mampu nak turun-naik selalu sebab hal-hal macam ni tak boleh selesai degan satu visit aje. Macam-macam pegawai nak. Kenapa ya Pi? Org-org ni kalau tak susah sure tak minta. Kenapa tak boleh selesaikan dlm satu visit? Kalau nak banyak-banyak visit pun boleh tak start bantuan tu immediately? Paperworks tu kemudianlah. Kalau kemudian hari didapati tak layak, terminate ajelah. After all bantuan tu bukan banyak pun. In this case Kak Su finally dapat RM 60 per month. Rasanya kos pegawai tu curi tulang lagi banyak. Apa ya rakyat biasa macam Akak ni boleh buat untuk ubah keadaan ni? Dalam hal ni Akak cuma boleh tolong hantar Kak Su turun-naik dengan cakap 'keras-keras' sikit dgn pegawai pemalas tu. Siap nak pergi jumpa Pengarah lagi. Ewah garangnya aku!!! Cepat pulak dia proses lepas tu. Geramlah...
Kak Kiah
Kak Kiah,
Memanglah ramai yang takut dengan 'pihak berkuasa'. Dah nama pun pihak berkuasa - dia ada kuasa dari segi undang2. Orang yang buat kerja sukarela macam kita ni takde kuasa nak buat apa-apa kecuali menolong sekadar mampu. Tolong orang pun kadang-kadang ada yang pertikai - ada yang kata mesti ada niat lain, walaupun niat kita ikhlas.
Memang I wish Puan Nur & Sharifah berkeras dengan Kak Ana nak bawak baby tu balik. Tapi I paham juga kenapa diorang tak berkeras. They had been depending on other people's help dari sebelum Sharifah bersalin sampailah lepas bersalin, jadi dia tak berani nak cakap lebih-lebih. Takut orang kata tak kenang budi agaknya.
And kalau betul jangkaan I yang Puan Nur pun memang ada masalah rumahtangga, memang payahlah dia nak pikir panjang sebelum buat apa-apa keputusan. Banyak sangat masalah sederap datang.
Pasal minta bantuan kebajikan tu, memang betul kata Kak Kiah, kalau tak susah, takkan orang ni semua sanggup pergi ke pejabat depa minta bantuan. I pun dah banyak tengok kes-kes macam tu. Kena jolok orang atas baru orang bawah buat kerja.
I sekarang tengah cuba nak luaskan lagi networking dengan jabatan2 yang berkenaan. Pantang jumpa peluang, walaupun ajak attend meeting yang I tak suka attend sekalipun, kalau rasa boleh dapat networking baik punya, I akan attend kalau takde hal lain. Cuma masalahnya, sebab buat kerja ni secara sukarela je, and kerja bergaji kat ofis sendiri pun kekadang melambak, tak dapatlah nak attend semua.
Aunty Pi, reading this posting I feel like watching a Bollywood movie. Somehow I got a feeling the script is so much longer that a 3-hr screen time won't be enough. There'll be sequel, prequel etc etc....
I hope you don't burn yourself out as you also have other cases to take care of too, right? Here's one big hug from me and Brad. mmmmwah.....meow!
Cat-in-Sydney,
Yes I know, I've got other cases too, but right now I'm paying more attention to 2 cases - Sharifah's and Sofie's. For the moment they need more help than the rest. Usually I'd help them all out until they are back on their feet... once they are "stable" - financially and emotionally, I'd start to distant myself and only check on them from time to time. Most of my other cases are considered stable, although once in a while they too may "buat perangai".
However, there is one other case yang sepatutnya dah stable, but they are not because they sort of "misused" the help they once got. Sigh...
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