THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Monday, 14 August 2017

Buddies Family Day 2017: My Clients & Their Family Members

We had our annual Family Day yesterday, 13th August. This time we brought our clients and their family members to Taiping Zoo, followed by lunch, lucky draw etc at Legend Inn Hotel, Taiping.

This year, in total we had 111 (including 6 toddlers who weren't charged for tickets) in attendance, including 15 volunteers. Which meant 96 attendees were from among our clients and their family members. I just checked out my list, and guess what, from among my clients alone, we had 48 pax. That's exactly half!

Initially I had 68 pax from 16 families in my list of clients who confirmed with me that they were coming. Of the 16 families, only 10 families turned up. The other 6 families comprising 20 supposedly confirmed number of pax, ended up no show. While I did expect pullouts and while I can accept reasonable excuses given, I just can't comprehend when some of them just texted me last minute saying they weren't joining without even saying why. Worse, when they don't even bother to inform me that they're pulling out. They simply don't turn up because they don't lose anything since they didn't have to pay a single thing.

Among the 6 of my clients who didn't turn up, only 1 had given an excuse that she wasn't well. She and her sons don't usually miss our Family Day.

Another client, had one week earlier informed me that she had to pull out, but a few days later requested that she and her children be included again. And then, at the very last minute, she pulled out again. No reasons given.

2 other clients, who had earlier called me personally to make sure their names were included in the list, simply kept quiet and were no longer contactable after I came back from Kashmir. My calls weren't answered and my messages weren't replied. They simply vanished.

Another client texted me at the very last minute saying she couldn't make it. This is the second time she's doing this, she did the same thing last year. I'm not sure if I should invite her for next year's Family Day.

Another client, texted me on Saturday, asking me what time he and his family of 5 pax should be at the bus pick-up point on Sunday. After I told him they needed to be there by 8 am, he didn't say anything, so I assumed there shouldn't be any problem. On Sunday however, they didn't turn up by 8 am. I called there was no answer. By 8.06 am, I texted to ask if they were coming. By 8.20 am, we made a move. Then at 8.26 am, client texted back, saying he had to take his medication first and asked if we could wait. Duh! I already told them to be there by 8 am, and only at 8.26 am he wanted to negotiate? We weren't going to delay 2 bus-loads just to wait for a family of 5.

However, it was good to meet up with my other clients, some of whom I had not met for quite some time. Fuzi and her family are doing okay. Her eldest daughter who's studying at a local university also joined the Family Day. She'll be home until Uni reopens next month. Fuzi's 2nd daughter, who sat for STPM 2 years ago, is now working in another state. Fuzi's son, who stopped schooling when he was in form 4, and then went on to work in another state (and earns enough to support himself without bothering his mother), is now thinking of sitting for SPM as a private candidate because suddenly he feels like joining the army.

Dahlia came with 5 of her 6 children (the eldest is studying at a polytechnic) and husband. The last time I went to visit them, the children were telling me about their father who disappeared from home after the police came. You see, Dahlia and her hubby had a fight and upon seeing that her father was about to hit her mother, Dahlia's 10 year old girl called the police. When I went to visit them, Dahlia spoke as though there was no way she was giving her hubby another chance. Well, guess what? Yesterday for the Family Day, her hubby tagged along. Somehow, I am not at all surprised...

Then there was Aini, who had to miss our Family Day for the past few years because she had been in and out of the hospital. Even the last time she was able to join us, she needed the aid of a walking stick. This time, she came with her eldest daughter (who is now already working) and Aini walked without the need of a walking stick. Of course her daughter was walking beside her all the way, but still, it was good to see her looking so well.

Laila, the orphan who lost her mother when she was 11 (and her father very much earlier), came with her grandma and aunt. Still looking as petite as ever, the girl will be sitting for her SPM this year. Our education sponsorship will cover for her schooling needs until she completes her SPM, but I do hope to continue overseeing her educational needs after SPM.

The other families too seemed to be doing okay. Unlike my early years as a volunteer when my clients had all sorts of problems, life seemed to have improved for many of them. And the newer clients, although they do have problems, the problems don't seem to be as dramatic as the ones I had to endure earlier.

All in all, it was a successful Family Day. The rangers at the zoo did a good job in making the visit an interesting one. The food at Legend Inn Hotel was yummy. The lucky draw prizes (obtained from various donors) drew smiles especially from the children's faces. And the "mini-freemarket" we had (where the ladies had the chance to pick and choose clothes in good condition, some even new - all given by donors) was also a hit.

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

6D/5N Kashmir Great Lakes Trek

Sunday 30th July 2017:
After spending one night at Heaven Breeze Houseboat in Nigeen Lake, Srinagar, this morning we set off with our backpacks, heading to Sonamarg to start our Great Lakes Trekking expedition. Away from the noise of cars honking in Srinagar. No wifi. No mobile data.

Kashmir is so beautiful, we went ooohh... and aaahh... and wow... before even reaching Sonamarg. 

Upon reaching the starting point, our horses and the horsemen were ready waiting for us.

In no time, we were already on our way up to start our expedition.


For most of us, that was our first time riding horses. But with the help of the horsemen, who assisted throughout the journey by guiding us and the horses, we got the hang of it in no time. We all had to get down from our horses upon reaching the security check-point, had our passports checked and photos taken before we were allowed to continue our journey. But let me tell you, even from the security check-point, the view was already so beautiful. Since it was already 12.40 pm by the time we reached the check-point, we had lunch while waiting, and took the opportunity to take more photos, even with the security officers!!


Upon clearance, we headed on, passing through hills and valleys, and even stopped for a short break at the homes of one of the gypsy families (during winter the families would have to move elsewhere as the place is not livable in winter). The children seemed excited to see us, and even asked, of all things, for pens. Too bad we didn't know what to expect earlier, otherwise maybe we could have brought along some pencil colours and some other stationeries.

After the short stop, we proceeded with our journey, this time passing through rivers and we started seeing glaciers. 


We finally made it to our campsite around 5.30 pm. While waiting for the horsemen to set up our tents, we took wuduk at the river and did our jamak ta'khir on the grass beside the river. There was a special tent for our meals... we called the tent our "dining hall".


The river water was cold, night time was even colder, so for the most of us (for me at least) cleaning up at the first campsite was by using the wet wipes that we brought along. Oh, for those who may want to know about toilet facility, the toilet was basically set up by digging a hole and popping up a tent on it. The view surrounding our campsite was indeed beautiful.


Monday 31st July 2017:
After packing up our stuff and all tents etc were dismantled, we headed on to our next campsite.

Along the way, we came across even more beautiful sights.




The higher the elevation, the more beautiful the view, but at the same time, the more we started feeling altitude sickness, sometimes feeling short of breath just by walking just a short distance. Walking uphill would be even worse.We finally reached our next campsite slightly after 2 pm.We were to stay at this campsite for 3 consecutive nights with day trips planned for the next 2 days.


Despite the very cold water, some of us decided to have a bath in the river. I even washed my hair while wearing  the hijab! Shivered I did, but it was satisfying to finally have a bath!

Tuesday 1st August 2017:
It was a bright sunny morning (but still cold nonetheless), and what a sight it was seeing rainbow trouts jumping in the river just beside our camp.


Today's activity was to go up to the glaciers. Again, with the help of our trusted horses and horsemen, we trekked across rivers, hills and valleys.

Upon reaching the glacier at around 10.30 am, our photo shoots began. Hey, we were stepping on snow.... in summer!!! While many in my group took photos with the good looking Kashmiri horsemen, I took the opportunity to take a photo with 2 Kashmiri ladies who were observing us nearby.


By the time we made it back to our campsite, it was lunch time. This time, instead of having our lunch inside the dining tent, we had lunch under the sky.


Initially we wanted to go to the lake around 3pm, some planning to wear baju kurung for the next photoshoot, but it was drizzling and so we decided to just stay at our campsite. In the end we had our photoshoot at the river near our campsite. Some with baju kurungs, some with batik sarongs.


Wednesday 2nd August 2017:
The plan was to visit the 2 lakes. It was another cold and rainy day. But we weren't about to be sitting around at the campsite doing nothing, so we proceeded with the plan to visit the 2 lakes. However, it was dangerous to ride horses at certain parts of the terrain, and so we had to get down and walk uphill. Tiring, but worth all the effort once you see the wonderful landscape.







Going down the hill to get back to our campsite at certain parts was again dangerous if we were to ride our horses. It was wet and slippery and we wouldn't want to fall off our horses in such condition. So yes, the only option was to walk down, which still was not so easy given the slippery condition.

Thursday 3rd August 2017:
It was time to start descending and head on to our final campsite. Thank goodness, it was a bright and sunny day.

Again, there were certain parts of the route where we were asked to get down from our horses and walk. As we were descending, I decided to join a few other friends to walk a little farther to enjoy the view and take photos (much easier to take photos while walking), until we reached a river crossing. Since we didn't want to get our feet wet (and in freezing cold water too!), we waited for our horses before continuing our journey.





We finally reached our 3rd and final campsite at a gypsy village slightly after 2 pm. In contrast to our 2 earlier campsites, this time there were no rivers around us. Instead there was just a small spring for our water source. There goes our hope of having a splash in the river we were hoping for! But, the view from the campsite was still beautiful nonetheless. Besides, that was to be our final night in the mountains and we could look forward to having a good bath at our houseboat the very next day.


See the small tent beside the tree? That's our mobile toilet!


Later that evening, we had a campfire, with the horsemen singing and dancing. They did pull in some members of our group to join in their dancing. I however had to retire early as I was down with flu and headache, and really needed to sleep early.

Friday 4th August 2017:
We woke up in the morning to more beautiful views.



It was our final day in the mountains and it was time to head back down. Again, our trusted horses and horsemen made sure our journey was smooth and safe.


We reached the security check-point in no time (where we had our photos taken again) and by the time we reached the start/end point, our mini-busses were already waiting to take us back to our houseboats. After 5 cold nights in the mountains, it was the end of our Great Lakes journey.

It was a tiring journey (especially for a makcik like me), but it was totally WORTH IT! I am so glad I made the trip to this heaven on earth...

Monday, 3 July 2017

Fuzi's family... after 10 years

When Fuzi's case was first assigned to me 10 years ago, I thought it was just another simple case of a HIV+ single mother needing financial assistance for her children. Boy, was I wrong!

Well yes, she did need financial assistance but her problems were nowhere near simple. Fuzi, an Indonesian, married a Malaysian man, in southern Thailand. Fuzi, being naive, totally depended on her husband on matters pertaining to registration of their marriage, and when told that there was no problem whatsoever, she believed him blindly. The fact was, their marriage was never registered in Malaysia, even after 4 children. There wasn't any issue when the husband was still around, but problems started to surface after the husband passed away.

First, an intruder broke into their house, and raped Fuzi. Fuzi got pregnant, and it was during this pregnancy that she found out she had HIV. Initially she thought she got infected when she was raped, but after the children got tested, it turned out her 4th child (the youngest from her marriage) was also infected, which meant Fuzi had been infected earlier when her husband was still around! It was then that Fuzi told me her husband used to frequent southern Thailand although she never really asked why he went there. Her husband probably died not even knowing that he was HIV+.

Thank goodness the hospital accepted her Narathiwat-issued marriage cert, so she didn't have to pay for her HIV treatment, by virtue of being married to a Malaysian. But everything else was so problematic. Her older children, although born to a Malaysian father, had problems when they wanted to get their MyKad done. You see, people don't ask questions if their father took them to Jabatan Pendaftaran, but since their father had died by the time they reached 12 years of age, Fuzi was the one who took them to JPN. And since she's not a Malaysian, her children weren't able to get their MyKad done. Thank goodness, after going in and out of various offices, that matter was finally settled. She somehow managed to legalise her marriage cert and the 4 children from her marriage were able to get their MyKad once they reached 12 years of age. Only thing was, their uncle (their father's brother) had to accompany them to JPN to get their MyKad done, and each time Fuzi had to pay him to do so.

The only problem left was her 5th child who was born without a father. With father's details stated as "unknown" in his birth cert, and his mother an Indonesian, the boy didn't have any citizenship. Neither her nor there. Not accepted as a Malaysian, and not registered as an Indonesian either. Fuzi has tried various methods, asked various people to help out. She tried applying for PR status, so that the boy could at least go to school (albeit paying a higher fee), but every time her application was rejected because by the time she applied, she was already a widow. Now she needs to renew her visa regularly to enable her to stay in Malaysia legally.

A couple offered to legally adopt the boy on paper, with Fuzi still taking care of him, so that they could register him to a school. It was initially approved, but when a nosey neighbour reported the matter to JKM, officers from JKM did a spot-check and found out the allegations to be true, the adoption immediately became void. And with that, the boy still can't go to school.

Someone (from JPN no less) suggested to Fuzi to get her eldest daughter to adopt the boy legally when she (the daughter) turns 21. They tried to submit the application when the girl turned 21 (she's 22 this year) but was then told she'd have to be married before she could do so. Hadoii... how lah?

The boy is 11 this year, and he is still unable to go to school because of all these issues. But that's about the only major problem this family has right now.

Fuzi's eldest daughter is already in university and is expected to graduate next year. I told Fuzi, once her daughter gets a job, get her to apply again for legal guardianship of the boy. Probably her earlier application was rejected because she herself was still studying. At least with a job and a fixed income, her application may be considered.

Although Fuzi's other children aren't academically inclined, the #2 and #3 are now working. The #3 boy used to give all sorts of problems to Fuzi when he was in school, getting in trouble all the time, playing truant, smoking cigarettes, accused of stealing, quit school in form 4, etc. But the moment he got himself a sales related job in another state, away from the friends he had been hanging around with earlier, he became a totally different person. He's a more responsible person now.

Fuzi's #4 child, the one who is HIV+, is in form 3 this year. He is under our sponsorship programme, so his educational needs are covered. Well yes he has HIV, but I know of another child born with HIV who went on to further her studies after SPM, so this boy should be able to do the same if he really wants to.

So yes, overall this family's situation has indeed improved a whole lot. But I do sincerely hope the youngest boy's issues can be resolved soon. The poor boy...


Wednesday, 14 June 2017

My Ramadhan Visits

For the past 10 years or more, Ramadhan had always been my busiest month. Ever since I was confirmed as a Buddies volunteer, most of the cases assigned to me involve poor PLHIV families, mainly involving single mothers. While for some of the hard core poor families, I make it a point to visit every month to deliver groceries, during the month of Ramadhan I usually visit even more families to bring some cheer especially to the children from these poor families.

Imagine their excitement getting pre-loved and/or new clothes and whatever other Raya goodies I could get hold of. Some got excited the moment they knew I'd be visiting. For some, without any kampung to go to for Raya, they'd excitedly be asking when I'd be visiting them for Raya, because they seldom get visitors at their home.

It helps that I tend to get a lot more donations during Ramadhan. My sincere thanks to my old school friends, my blog friends, my FB friends and even some of my blog readers whom I've never even met before. Without the support of these generous donors, I wouldn't be able to give much assistance to the poor PLHIV families I've been assigned to.

I may not be doing as many house visits as I used to do during my early years as a volunteer. Back then, sometimes I'd visit 3 or 4 homes in a day. I remember once I actually went to visit and delivered groceries to 4 different families within half a day. From my home in Ipoh, I headed to Sg Siput, followed by Chemor, then Pusing and last one in Batu Gajah before I headed back home. And yes, during fasting month, my visits cover homes from all over Perak. Tg Piandang, Taiping, Kuala Kangsar, Gerik, Gopeng, Kampar, Parit, Sungkai. And oh, even Cameron Highlands.

Most of the hard core poor families aren't doing too bad now. Some may still need assistance, but not as much as they did back then. A few are totally independent, and no longer need any assistance. For those staying quite far from Ipoh, and still need help, I'd just transfer some cash online from my charity account into their respective bank accounts. That is, of course, after I visit them at least once to assess their situation at home.

Likewise, for this year's Ramadhan/Raya contributions, for those staying quite far from Ipoh, I'd just do online cash transfers. Quite far means more than an hour drive from Ipoh. The ones I still visit are usually the ones with young children. Less visits to the homes of those with grown up children, unless there are specific matters they need to discuss, especially pertaining to education.

I have no choice but to choose who I need to visit. After over 10 years with Buddies, I've been assigned to close to 80 clients. Imagine if I have to visit each and every single one of them during Ramadhan... banyak letih lor!!!


Friday, 2 June 2017

All in a day's voluntary work

Whenever I'm on voluntary duty at Taiping Hospital ID clinic, I'd usually make it a point to at least visit any clients staying around the area. Yesterday was no exception. In fact, yesterday I covered more than I usually did.

A client, Nor, who had received assistance from us for a pair of glasses, had texted me earlier if I could help get orders for kuih siput which she's making for Raya. I told her since I was going to Taiping yesterday, I'd like to get a kilogram first for myself, since I'd like to taste them first before I can recommend to anyone. So, we promised to meet up at Simpang area, before I proceeded to Taiping town. My intention was to pay her for the kuih siput, but when I wanted to give her the money, she told me it wasn't necessary. She wanted me to taste them first so I could start taking orders from others, if I could get any.

That done, I headed on to Taiping Hospital. It was quite a busy day yesterday during my clinic duty, although of late we haven't had too many cases referred to us. Sometimes we go to Taiping without even a single case referred. Sometimes it's because the new case never turned up at the hospital, while sometimes they felt they didn't need any help and so it wasn't necessary to see us. Usually the nurse would only refer cases which she felt needed help, and even so, she'd ask them first if they agree to see us.

The first case referred yesterday was a guy in his 50's, who came with his wife. The wife has been confirmed negative, but when the nurse mentioned about Buddies, she thought her husband could use the help. The guy had not been working for the past 5 years because of illnesses and since he's feeling better now, he plans to start looking for a job. But getting a job when you're above 50 is not easy. When he found out that Buddies is a support group, he felt uncomfortable and said he didn't need any help. I'm not sure what he said to his wife after that (they spoke in Chinese), but it sounded like he was scolding his wife for agreeing to see Buddies. Ah well, never mind. I just gave his wife our brochure, just in case some time in future they need our help, at least they have a number to call.

The next case was a young lady who gave birth 5 months ago. Apparently when she was pregnant she was not detected for HIV. So no precautions were taken during her pregnancy and delivery. As such, her baby needs to be tested from time to time. So far so good, but the baby still needs to go for follow up until he/she (I forgot to ask about the baby's gender) is confirmed not infected. Again, this lady said she didn't need help, and so I didn't assign any buddies to her.

I thought I was done with the 2 cases, but then the staff nurse told me that another PLHIV wanted to see me, because he was interested to become a volunteer. Since I was already at the hospital, I might as well interview him there and then. Another client, Dahlia, who was also there for her appointment, wanted to hitch a ride home in my car since I was going to visit her family anyway, so she had no choice but to wait.

Back to the guy, he was first diagnosed after a blood donation drive. He was so depressed he didn't even go to get any treatment. All he wanted to do back then was to commit suicide. He thought of jumping down from a tall building, but then he thought, that would embarrass his family. After some time his condition worsened, and he went back to his hometown to stay with his family. To this day, none of his family members are aware of his HIV. They only know of his hepatitis. He kept everything to himself and didn't have anyone to talk to about how he felt. One day he collapsed, and by then he had no choice but to be hospitalised and get treatment.

Now that he's feeling a lot better, the moment he heard about Buddies from the staff nurse, he wants to become a volunteer. Which was why he requested to see me. After all that he had gone through, I think he'd make a good volunteer. The only problem is, since he doesn't stay anywhere near Ipoh, it will be difficult to train him. New volunteers are taken in as trainees first, and will only be confirmed later after following the senior volunteers around either during home visits or clinic duties. I hope we can somehow arrange for some sort of training for this guy... that is if the Board agrees to take him in as a trainee. For that, he will have to wait until our next Board meeting.

Done chatting with the volunteer-wannabe, I headed over to Dahlia's house. Dahlia was done with her appointment earlier, but had to wait for me for that ride home. Her daughter Dilla, the young mom, has been offered a place at a polytechnic, and so I brought along some stuff for her including a luggage bag. I also brought along some baju kurungs I managed to collect from donors. I was hoping she'd be home, but although her last day of work at a nearby hotel was on the 31st, she continued working for a friend, helping out to cook and sell at a bazaar Ramadhan. She wanted to earn as much as she could before she furthers her studies, because she wanted to leave as much money as she could for her 2 1/2 year old daughter.

Truly, I am impressed. Despite the fact that the little girl was a result of a rape case (when she was just at a tender age of 15), and despite quitting school after that, Dilla has proven to be a mature and responsible mother. Instead of passing the whole responsibilily of taking care of the little girl to her mother (the little girl's grandma), Dilla wants to make sure she's doing as much as she can for her daughter. And she's only 18! Oh, by the way, I did leave her some cash for her to use later on after she registers. I am sure there are other stuff she may need to pay for later.

Anyway, other than stuff for Dilla, among the things I managed to collect from donors were some new (old stock) children clothings. So there were stuff for Dilla's younger siblings and of course her daughter too. I loved seeing the excited children trying out the clothes. And oh, since I had earlier on delivered an oven and a mixer (donated by my family/friends) for Dahlia and Dilla to start baking at home to earn an income, I was also given 2 types of cookies they had baked (yes, using the donated oven and mixer).

Next up, I headed over to a nearby supermarket to meet up with another client, Maya. She stays a bit further up north, but Maya agreed to meet me in Taiping. Maya's daughters had been performing quite well in their studies, and this time her 2nd daughter had been offered a place for Asasi. I had another luggage bag in my car meant for this girl. And since I've been told she may need to buy some books and lab kits later, I told her I had already banked in some cash into her account for her to use when the need arises.

I wish these girls success. Hopefully one day they will become successful women, and they will be able to help others as well, especially their own family.