Visiting the HIV+ child

When Mar first called me about 2 years ago, seeking help, she had just found out of her HIV infection. Her husband, with CD4 of only 2, was very weak and the family really needed help financially. Since it was rather difficult to assess their situation via phone call, I decided to visit them at home.

Since their house was not that easy to find based on address alone (just like the kampong where I’m staying in now), I told Mar I’d call her once I reached a certain kindergarten at the foothill. Mar then sent her 19 year old daughter down on a motorbike to meet me and then show me the way to their house. Other than this daughter, the couple had 2 other daughters, one teenager, while the youngest one was only 2 years old then.

The youngest girl? During that first visit, she had already been tested but the results of her blood test was not known yet. About 2 weeks after that visit, I called Mar. My fears came true. The girl was confirmed HIV+.

I had not visited this family after that first visit. Yes, we still keep in touch via phone calls and from time to time I do meet Mar when she comes to Ipoh for her hospital appointments. Her eldest daughter is now married and stays elsewhere.

Last week Mar called. Her second daughter, who had completed her matriculation, was offered a place at a local university. Her only source of income is by selling nasi lemak in the mornings, so she is concerned about having to pay the over RM2K registration fee. I advised her to apply for assistance from Yayasan Perak and Baitulmal, however for both, even if approved, she won’t be getting the money immediately. She’d have to pay a certain amount first to the university before they will consider releasing the money. I guess this is to ensure that the students will indeed register, and by paying at least a minimal amount, there is commitment on the part of the family.

While I did suggest to Mar to apply for help from those agencies, I also sought help from my friends on FB. Within hours a few friends committed to donate some money for Mar’s daughter. Enough to ease Mar off her worries. And since I had not visited this family at home ever since that first visit, I figured I might as well visit them to hand over the money instead of banking the money into Mar’s account.

And so, yesterday off I went to visit Mar and her family. Since during the last visit, I simply followed Mar’s daughter to get to their house without paying attention to the left or the right, I wasn’t fully confident I’d be able to remember the way to their house. And since Mar sells nasi lemak near the kindergarten where her daughter came down to fetch me the last time, I told Mar I’d either meet her there, or if she had already gone home by then, I’d call her from there.

It so happened I reached the kindergarten just on time. Mar and her husband had just finished packing up and was just about to go home. I just followed them home, this time paying more attention to landmarks to remember so that next time I don’t need them to show me the way.

I remember the first time I visited, Mar actually asked me if I was “brave” enough to drive to her house. Apparently some people don’t dare drive down the very steep hill to get to her house. “Kalau akak jenis brutal, boleh la,” she said. Well, this time, she didn’t bother to ask again. I guess I made it to her “brutal” list… hehehe…

2 years since my last visit. The house looks the same. But her husband who was bed-ridden during my first visit, can now help out at the nasi lemak stall. His CD4 has gone up from just 2 to over 100 now. Her then 2 year old HIV+ daughter, is now an active 4 year old. According to Mar, the girl doesn’t have problems taking her medication but she’d insist on Mar giving the medication personally to her, not from anybody else. The girl does ask from time to time why she needed to take her medication every single day without fail, and so far Mar had been telling her that the medication is to kill worms in her tummy. Am not sure how long that excuse will work on the girl.

Mar’s main concern is on the future of the little HIV+ girl. Will the girl have a future like any normal child? Will she make it to adulthood?

I told Mar of a few other cases where children who were born HIV+ have grown up. I can’t really promise Mar there will be no problem at all for the girl, but at least she knows the girl is not the only one having to go through this. With the support she’s getting, at least she can learn from what the other HIV+ children have gone through.

Anyway, Mar’s second daughter, who will register at the university early next month, was not home when I visited. The girl works temporarily at a cafeteria, washing dishes, to get some pocket money for herself before she goes off to university. Good for her. She is responsible enough not to depend too much on her parents financially, knowing the hardship her family has to go through.

I do hope she will succeed in her studies and that one day she will be able to help her family lead a better life.

Family Day Preparations & More Home Visits

Last Tuesday we finally had our first Family Day meeting for this year. While we had already decided during our last Board Meeting that this year’s Family Day will be at Lost World of Tambun (again!), this recent meeting was more to finalise the statistics and logistics.

We had our Family Day in LWOT a few times before this, and each time it’s held in LWOT, the turnout would usually be very high. The children simply loved it there. Our previous record was 112 pax (including volunteers). And it looks like this year we will break that record. So far we have 140 pax confirmed (NOT inclusive of volunteers), 82 of them from among my clients alone, including a few first timers.  It’s good to note that many of my clients who previously needed me to fetch them at the bus station, this time said they will go on their own to LWOT. Makes life easier for me, I don’t need to arrange for that many volunteers to help fetch the clients.

On Wednesday I went to visit Fuzi at her home. Even Fuzi said she and 3 of her kids will be going on their own by 2 motorbikes for the Family Day. 2 of her children won’t be joining. Her 2nd daughter who is in form 6 this year, said she wanted to stay home and study, while her son Hafiz, is now staying elsewhere with his friends. Joining the event will be her 2 youngest sons, and her eldest daughter Wina who is still on semester holidays. She will have to go back to university immediately after the Family Day.

Anyway, I brought along a box of children’s jeans (used) which I got from a donor earlier this month. The 2 boys got excited when they heard about it. They even offered to help carry the box from my car. Their old jeans are mostly already torn, or they have already outgrown them. The youngest boy managed to get 3 pairs while his older brother got one pair for himself. At least now they have new pairs of jeans (ok, so the jeans are used jeans, but at least they’re new to the boys) to wear for the upcoming Family Day.

Yesterday I got a call from another client, Mar. Her 2nd daughter, who completed her matriculation, has been offered a place at a local university. Mar is worried about the fee she needs to pay when her daughter registers at the university early next month. Her only source of income is from selling nasi lemak every morning at a makeshift stall by the roadside. No doubt she can apply for PTPTN, but that will take time. What she needs now is some cash to pay for the initial registration fee. And I’m sure the daughter will also need to buy some other stuff once she registers. I told Mar to try applying from Yayasan Perak for the initial registration fee while I would try to get some help for her as well.

And get help I did. All I needed to do was to update my FB status and within less than half a day, some friends, who obviously already know the kind of voluntary work I’m involved in, agreed to donate some money for this girl. I plan to visit them next week to hand over the money.

And oh, Mar also has a 4 year old girl who is also HIV+. Maybe I can get her to try out the jeans too… hopefully there is at least one that fits her.

A Training Session & A Hospital Visit

When the Buddies board decided to hold a training session for our volunteers on the topic “What To Do & Not To Do As A Volunteer”, and asked me to be the speaker/trainer, I decided to make it a very informal chit chat session with the volunteers, discussing the topic based on our past experiences with our clients. Oh okay, I was actually too lazy to prepare something more detailed…

But yes, the session last night was more of a discussion session. Thank God for that, because earlier during the day, I had an emergency and had to drive to Shah Alam to attend my aunt’s funeral. If I was just one of the volunteers attending the session as a participant, I could have probably given the training session a miss. But I was the trainer, and so I had no choice but to attend. Which was why I drove back to Ipoh immediately after the funeral.

It had been quite a while since we last did a training session for the volunteers. In fact it had been very difficult to get the volunteers to gather. Even for our AGM we usually get just enough quorum. And so I was quite happy this time 20 people (including myself) attended the session.

I may not be the best person to conduct the training, but I think I made the right decision to make it an informal session.

Anyway, yesterday morning I received a message from Erin, informing me that her mother, Aini, had to be hospitalised again. When she sent the message, they were still at the emergency dept, because there were no vacant beds available in the wards. This morning when I checked again with Erin, I was told that Aini was already in the ward, waiting to undergo a minor operation.

So after my asr prayer today, I decided to visit them at the hospital. The moment I got into the ward, I saw Erin waving to me. Saved me the trouble of having to go around from bed to bed to look for Aini. Aini’s mother was also by her bedside. Aini herself looked so skinny. She definitely had lost a lot of weight. For someone who is my age, she certainly looked a lot older, not because I am the awet muda type (THAT I am definitely not), but because of all her ailments. Other than HIV, she had also been struggling with kidney problems, and of late there had been so many other complications as well.

Aini’s daughter Erin had been with Aini the whole time since she was brought to the emergency dept, right to more than 24 hours later. She hadn’t even had the opportunity to get a proper meal for herself. Since it was visiting hours and there were a few of us there, I told Erin to go down and get something to eat. The poor girl, who is in her final semester at a polytechnic, had already missed 3 days of classes and will probably miss classes until the end of the week to accompany her mother at the hospital.

I know Erin is tough & strong emotionally, but I could also see from her face that she was also quite stressed out. I do hope her studies will not be affected by her mother’s health condition.

I will need to follow up with not just Aini, but also with Erin as well. She sure needs some moral support.

Voluntary work back in full swing

I had initially planned to get started with my post-raya home visits after I complete my puasa 6, but thinking that I had promised Din during my last visit (a few days before Raya) to send him a wheelchair after Raya, I decided to go earlier. I figured he may need the wheelchair earlier to enable him to easily move around. Besides, I have assigned a male volunteer to Din and I thought it would be a good idea to bring this male volunteer along, show him Din’s house, and introduce them.

After sending Din a text message the day before, last Wednesday I headed off, first to Buddies Center to get the wheelchair and to meet up with Din’s assigned buddy, then to Din’s house. I was taken by surprise when I knocked on the door and someone else opened the door. And when I asked for Din, the guy told me Din wasn’t around. Alamak…

Apparently the guy was Din’s brother-in-law, and while Din wasn’t around, his wife was home. Din’s family had taken him to go for some alternative treatment somewhere. But Din had already told his wife that I was coming to send the wheelchair, and so she was actually expecting me. Before she started preparing any food/drinks to be served, I quickly told her I was fasting. I also reminded her that the wheelchair was on loan to them, and that they should return it once it is no longer required by Din. The fellow volunteer assigned as Din’s buddy will take over this case from now on, and so I probably won’t be visiting this family again.

I managed to complete my puasa 6 on Sunday, and so this week it’s back to my voluntary work routine. Starting off with Monday’s clinic duty, where only one case was referred; followed by last night’s board meeting when we finally confirmed the venue of this year’s Family Day. With both date and venue confirmed, I will need to start contacting my many clients to invite them to join this year’s Family Day.

This morning I went to visit Dahlia’s family. It being a school day, I only expected to see Dahlia, her 2 younger children and her grandchild. To my surprise, I even got to meet her 14 year old son, Asyraf, who I have yet to meet before this because being an active boy in school, he always seemed to have some activities to attend every time I meet the family. Dilla, the teenage mom, was also home. Classes at the culinary college she goes to have already started, but since they usually have trainings during weekends, Wednesday is their off day.

The only 2 not home today was Dahlia’s 3rd & 4th children, who were both in school. Asyraf’s school session is in the afternoon and amazingly I finally got to meet him today because he didn’t have any co-curricular activities to attend.

The family seemed to be doing well. Dilla herself was very cheerful today. For a girl who had been raped just slightly over a year ago, and who was pregnant when she sat for her PMR last year, she has truly bounced back tremendously. And to see her being such a loving mother to her 7 month old baby, I am really in awe. Her strength and courage is making me more determined to help her in any way I can to ensure a better future for herself and her little girl.

Anyway, each and every single one in this family will be joining our coming Family Day in early September. Just from this one family alone, I already have confirmation for 8 pax… 3 @ adult rate, 2 @ children rate, 3 more toddlers below 90 cm in height, who won’t be charged for entrance fees.

The moment I got home after today’s visit, I immediately sent out messages either via SMS or whatsapp to all my clients. It is not even half a day yet and I already have confirmations for 28 pax, with a few more who will be joining but can’t confirm the number of pax yet. They will have to confirm by the 10th of August, after which we will need to arrange for all the logistics.

Being the volunteer assigned to the most number of clients, I believe my phone will be busy for the next few weeks.

Ramadhan visits settled!

I haven’t updated my blog after last week’s post on Aida, the unwed mother of 7. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have any voluntary-work-related activities.

Within the past one week, I went to visit 2 clients at their respective homes; I went for a 2nd trip to the Immigrations Detention Depot in Belantik, and I went for clinic duty at HRPB Ipoh.

On Thursday, I went to visit Ana. While I have some other clients who earns more and yet still like to ask for money for any and every reason they can think of, Ana, whose current job is to help bathe an elderly bed-ridden person with a pay of RM10 each time, is not that type. To her, Buddies helping her out with her children’s educational needs is a blessing enough. She was so appreciative of the help she’s getting, the moment she found out I was coming last Thursday, she prepared some durians and rambutans for me to bring home. To me, I am happy enough that she and her children see the importance of education.

On Friday, together with a few other volunteers calling ourselves Wanita Prihatin Perak, went for a follow up visit to the Immigrations Detention Depot in Belantik, Kedah. We brought along a few boxes of educational materials for the Rohingya children. We totally forgot that Friday’s a public holiday in Kedah, but the officer was kind enough to entertain us.

On Monday, I went for my clinic duty at HRPB, Ipoh. The moment I got there, I was told that there were no new cases to be referred to me, so I ended up discussing a few cases with Sister Zaitun. And since Aida, the unwed pregnant lady, was at the hospital for her appointment, we decided to meet up. When I brought her shopping for her baby’s needs the previous week, she told me she wanted to bring the baby balik kampong to see her mother (who still doesn’t know she’s pregnant) and she’s hoping her mother can help take care of the baby. This time, when I met her, her story has changed. It seems her foster mother (the one she’s staying with now) is interested to adopt the baby, and so Aida thought that would be a better idea. She’s thinking she doesn’t have to break the news to her own mother. The only problem is, her foster mother doesn’t know she has HIV and so she doesn’t know that the baby, even if not infected, will need to be brought for follow up appointments as precautionary measures. Aida doesn’t intend to tell her foster mother about her HIV.

I told Aida to rethink her decision. Whatever she decides, whoever is going to take care of the baby needs to know the real situation.

Yesterday, I went to visit one more family, this time a new case. A guy, Din, called me last week seeking help. He got my number from Sister Zaitun. It was rather difficult for me to assess his situation via a phone call, and so I sought his permission to visit his family at home this week. Meanwhile I took the opportunity to get more info about him from Sister Zaitun during Monday’s clinic duty.

The moment I got to the house, I noticed the doors and windows were all closed and the gate was locked. It looked as though nobody was home, but I had already informed Din I was coming and he said ok. So I decided to call, to be sure I got to the right house. Indeed it was the right house, and they were inside. Even after the call, it took quite a while before Din opened the door. I was initially wondering why it took him so long, but the moment I saw him walking to unlock the gate, I immediately understood. He couldn’t properly control his movements, even when he walks, he’d sway left and right like a drunk person. I guess his inability to control his movements had something to do with the infection to his brains.

Thank goodness, his wife was tested negative. The wife doesn’t mind going to work in place of her husband, but given Din’s present condition, she didn’t feel good leaving him at home alone with their 2 young children either. So they are thinking of setting up a small stall near their home, and maybe sell stuff like pisang goreng and the likes. They have even applied for help from e-kasih to get some starting capital to start off the business. They were also happy when I told them Buddies may be able to help out with their children’s schooling expenses. Both boys are not in school yet, but the older boy will start pre-school next year. I also offered to lend Din the donated wheelchair we have at the centre, and they both felt it was a good idea especially to use when they need to go out somewhere (at home at least he can grab on to the chairs/walls etc). I promised to deliver them the wheelchair after Hari Raya.

And that wraps up my visits this Ramadhan. My next visit will probably be after I complete my puasa enam.

To all my blog readers (if there are any), Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. Hope you’ve had a blessed Ramadhan and wishing you a blessed Syawal ahead.