Ramadhan House Visit #3

When Zainab sent me a text message last week telling me that her daughter had been discharged from the hospital, I had wanted to visit them at home. But Zainab said she was going back to her husband’s hometown to fetch her younger daughter. Apparently when kakak was warded, she wouldn’t let her mom leave her at the hospital while adik wouldn’t go home unless her mom went home with her. So Zaki (Zainab’s hubby) sent adik to Zaki’s hometown to stay with the grandma. For 4 days adik stayed with the grandma and for 4 days she was spoilt rotten by the grandma! By the time Zainab went to fetch her, adik said she wanted to stay with her grandma.

Oh well, adik still followed Zainab back to Ipoh. I went to visit them the next day; bringing with me a whole load of groceries for the family. Zaki still isn’t working, while Zainab had to take a few days unpaid leave after kakak got warded; so they probably are getting less income this month. With Raya coming soon, some goodies would cheer the kids up.

Kakak looked a lot better than when I saw her earlier at the hospital. However, she is still on medication and will need to go for a couple of follow-ups.

On Saturday I went to visit Yah’s family up north. This time I brought along more things than what I’d usually bring during my house visits. Other than the normal groceries and baby’s needs, there were also some raya goodies and cookies for them.

I had problems parking my car when I got to Yah’s house. As mentioned in one of my earlier postings, the jalan kampong there is small – just nice for one car and pretty scary if you have to make way for another vehicle coming from the opposite direction… with the paddy field on one side and the water irrigation on the other! Usually when I reach Yah’s house I could just park my car at the path heading towards the house, but that day the path was full of sand, bricks and gravel. (Remember I said Yah’s house needed repairs because a huge papaya tree fell onto her kitchen? Well, those things were for the repair works.)

I couldn’t simply leave my car on the road as other vehicles wouldn’t be able to pass; and to park further up at the compound of another house would be a problem because there were so many things to be carried to Yah’s house. So there I was struggling – gohead gostan gohead gostan :) to get my car out of the way so as not to block any vehicles trying to pass through. Thank God mine was just a Kenari… even then the front tyres ended up parked on the heap of sand while the back tyres just a few inches from the heap of bricks!

Yah’s brother was doing the repairs for the kitchen with the help of a friend. They are not pros but Yah couldn’t afford to waste so much money to repair a house on a rented piece of land, so she had to resort to getting her brother to help out. The brother couldn’t afford in terms of money, so he offered his energy.

Anyway, Yah’s children helped to carry the goodies from my car to their house. Yah’s baby, who is now about 1 year 3 months old and already walking; seemed a bit cautious when she saw me. Yep, this was the same stranger her grandma kept telling her to call "mama". When she saw the milk powder and the diapers, she knew they were hers. She pulled the packs of milk powder and then she sat on the diapers! For the first time, when I took the little angel into my arms, she did not avoid me. Usually she’d just cling on to her mom or grandma. Needless to say, I was so happy this time around…

Abang Chik, who’s usually very naughty, was quite well behaved that day because his uncle was around. He’s quite scared of his uncle who threatened to cut off his ears if he’s naughty! (Of course it’s just a threat… but Abang Chik thought it was for real)

Kak Long and Kak Ngah, as usual, didn’t talk much. Yes, these are the sisters who gave me the present I mentioned in my earlier posting here. When I’m around they don’t usually talk much, they just sit down and watch me chat with their mother and grandmother. They were probably taught never to interrupt while the elders are talking (jangan menyampuk cakap orang tua!).

After about half an hour, I made a move. I needed to stop by Fuzi’s house to get photocopies of her children’s birth cert and her late husband’s death cert. My colleague who’s in charge of client’s welfare is trying to arrange for Fuzi to get Bantuan Kanak-kanak from the Welfare Department instead of the measly RM115 Bantuan Am she’s been getting.

Groceries and raya goodies for Shila's and Rashid’s family have been passed to them through another colleague of mine who happened to be heading towards the town they’re staying, so I don’t have to go there. And raya goodies for Aini have been passed to another colleague of mine who usually visits her.

As for Nuri and Ani, they are not keen on having me visit them at home. They both stay in the same kampong and they both complain about having “kay-poh” neighbors – so I didn’t deliver anything to them. Maybe the next time they come to Ipoh, I might just meet up with them and give some “duit raya” for their kids.

So I guess no more house visits until after Raya. I may need to organize another Raya gathering this year for the ladies and their kids (Fuzi's children are already looking forward to it!), but for the time being, I’d better concentrate on my own Raya preparations first. There’s the lawn that needs to be mowed (yes, I mow the lawn myself)… the house that needs to be cleaned… and my messy table that needs to be tidied… plus my own household necessities that need to be bought before the whole jingbangs get together for Raya.

I will just make a few phone calls to my other PLWHA clients whom I have not visited just to ask how they’re doing….

Nurin Alert?

It’s been more than a week since Nurin Jazlin Jazimin was laid to rest. The public was outraged with the brutal murder of the innocent child to the extent that there has been so much blame-storming going around. Blame the parents… blame the police… blame the authorities… blame the neighborhood… blame whoever as long as not themselves! Reading all the comments and speculations, somehow the tune of the song “Bangau oh bangau” keeps playing in my mind. Sigh…

This was not the first time something like this happened to an innocent child. There were a few other cases when innocent children were brutally murdered by some sickos out there. Each time there would be speculations as to what happened… who was at fault etc. Yet the same thing keeps on happening again… and again… and again. Malaysians mudah lupa?

When some people start blaming the parents of negligence, I can’t help but think of the PLWHA families. Many of the PLWHAs whose cases I’m handling are from poor families, and mostly, single mothers. Or, if the fathers are still around, they are already too weak to work. As such, many of them have no choice but to depend on their young ones to run errands for their family. Go to the shop, look after the baby or whatever else on their own.

Fuzi, for example, depends a lot on her 12 year old daughter. The nearest grocery shop and public phone are quite far by walking distance, so the daughter (who is quite small-sized by the way), has to cycle all the way alone to buy necessities or to make a phone call when necessary. I managed to settle part of the problem by giving Fuzi a used handphone so it’d be easier for me to call them or for them to call me. And I also do send them groceries some of the time… but I definitely can’t do that all the time!

Some may argue that Fuzi should be the one to cycle to the shop and leave her eldest daughter at home to take care of the younger siblings. But how can we be sure the children are safe by themselves at home? A personal friend of mine, an adult, was murdered at her home in 2001 behind locked doors! Robbers broke into her home and when she struggled, they murdered her. Is anywhere safe anymore?!

Another thing about Fuzi’s family is that the place where they stay don’t have any public transportation. So the children go to school by bicycle along a very quiet road. And since they leave home about 6.30 in the morning, the road is not only quiet, but as there are no street lights for quite a long stretch, it is also dark! Mind you, this is not what Fuzi wants for her children really, but does she have a choice?

Okay, so now a few suspects have been nabbed by the police for the murder of little Nurin. Assuming that these people are indeed guilty of the crime; does it mean we can now sit back and relax? HECK NO! There are many sickos out there, and as mentioned by Kak Teh in her posting Beware The Faceless Monster, paedophiles don’t have their sickening hobbies etched on their forehead. So how are we to know?

Action must be taken NOW… by the police, the authorities, parents and the public at large to avoid such incidents in future. What sort of actions can be taken?

In one of Nuraina A.Samad’s posting, Princessjournals commented that Malaysia should adopt the Amber Alert. Ahh, finally something constructive instead of just arguing over who was at fault and who was not.

What is AMBER Alert? The AMBER Alert System began in 1996 when Dallas-Fort Worth broadcasters teamed with local police to develop an early warning system to help find abducted children. AMBER stands for America's Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response and was created as a legacy to 9-year-old Amber Hagerman, who was kidnapped while riding her bicycle in Arlington, Texas, and then brutally murdered. Other states and communities soon set up their own AMBER plans as the idea was adopted across the nation. Read more about it here and here.

So yes, many agree that this system can be adopted here in Malaysia. Of course, why not? Since the American system was created as a legacy to Amber Hagerman, let’s call ours NURIN, as suggested by Rocky – Nationwide Urgent Response Inter-Network. Or something like that.

I may just be an ikan bilis blogger whose blog is not read by too many people, but as mentioned by Princessjournals here, if bloggers put up a concerted effort to highlight this matter on their respective blogs, we can reach a wider audience, and it may get the attention of the relevant authorities to adopt a similar system here in Malaysia.

Let us try to create awareness on safety. Let us all learn all the do’s and don’ts. What to do in an emergency… what to do first when you suspect a child missing… what to do when we see a child wailing while being dragged by an adult (don’t go and immediately clobber the adult without finding out what's going on! He/she may be the parent and the child throwing tantrums!!) …

Yes, let’s stop blaming people. Let's instead create awareness amongst the public on what can be done collectively.

I am all for the AMBER/NURIN Alert system. What say you?

Sigh...

Fuzi called me up yesterday. She just came back from the welfare office where she finally got her financial aid for the months of June, July and August. Yep, for the past 3 months she didn't get the promised financial aid with all sorts of excuses given. Imagine, if a particular blog reader had not been putting in a certain amount into her account each month, it would have been very difficult for Fuzi and her 5 kids.

Anyway, while I was happy she finally got her welfare money, I was quite annoyed when I found out that the welfare officer asked her to open up another bank account so that they can bank in her financial aid every month into her account without her having to come all the way to their office.

Now, that would make it easier for Fuzi, right? So, why was I annoyed?

You see, when her welfare application was first approved earlier this year, Fuzi already had a savings account with BSN. The welfare officer then asked her to open up a bank account with BCB (now CIMB), with the promise that they'd bank in the money into that account. OK fine, so Fuzi opened up a BCB savings account. But the money NEVER once went into that bank account. They always come up with all sorts of excuses why they couldn't bank in the money. Amongst others, "Tak ada masa."

OK then, now they say they will bank in the amount into her savings account again. Just give them the same bank account number lah! Kan?

Nope, now they say Fuzi got to open an account with Maybank. Pulak... tak sudah-sudah menyusahkan orang yang dah memang susah!

Sigh...

Today I went to visit Mr. K at the hospital. Mrs. K was there too. Mr. K's EPF withdrawal has gone through and they've already got the money. Alhamdulillah. With Mrs. K having to take so many days of unpaid leave, the timing is just right.

Or is it really?

Remember I said in one of my earlier postings that I was quite concerned about this family getting their EPF money just before raya? Well, since Mr. K was in the hospital when the money got through, I thought it was quite safe.

But just now while I was with them at the hospital, I saw the two of them signalling one another, obviously they wanted to tell me something, but afraid to do so. They looked like typical "guilty" kids trying to admit to their parents something they had done which they knew would not get the parent's approval. Only this time the kids were Mr. and Mrs. K while I was the garang mama.

So what did they do? Mr. K, being the "I wasn't the one who did it as I was in the hospital" one, finally spoke up. Apparently, after being pressured by her kids, especially the 12 year old daughter, Mrs. K had just installed Astro at home. Yeah right, blame it on the kids! All the kids saw was a big amount of money which they probably thought would last a looooong time! And all they saw was just probably the fee for installing the Astro kuali! (Ooops sorry, I am so used to calling that thing a kuali...) What they didn't think about was the monthly fee that needs to be paid. All the while they had been having problems even with their water and electricity bills, now they want to add another monthly bill?! Mrs. K didn't have to give in, did she?

What I was particularly mad about was the fact that I had reminded them to be very careful once they got the money and to spend only on necessities. I can survive without Astro at home, why can't they? I remembered Yah's late husband who spent like a rich man when he got his EPF money, one of the first thing he did was to install Astro at home and then told his wife to pay for the monthly subscription fee! He finished all his money in just 2 weeks! Thank goodness Yah herself is not at all like her late husband. When she got her EPF money recently, she immediately put aside a certain amount into ASB. And the balance of the money, she used them on necessities and long term income generating purposes.

Back to Mrs. K, I gave her my piece of mind. I told her she must spend wisely. Spend on necessities, necessities, necessities!

They promised they'd open up SSPN account for each of their children. I'll make sure the next time I see them to ask if they have done so. Maybe my next visit to their house, I may just lecture the children as well.

Sigh...

Before I left them just now, I said, "Nanti balik jangan lupa beli TV besar 42 inci pulak ya?"

Mrs. K gave a sheepish smile.

Oh, she got my message alright...

LOUD AND CLEAR!

Ramadhan House Visit #2

After my usual pasar tani routine last Saturday, I went over to my NGO centre to load my car with the stuffs which I needed to send to Fuzi’s family. I was sweating by the time I finished loading the things – this time I had more stuff than usual because they include a box and a big plastic bag of goodies contributed by a blog reader, and there were also more groceries than usual due to more cash contributions received.

So off I went to Fuzi’s house. As always, the kids were smiling when they saw my car coming. I called them to help get the things out of the car. Surprised there were so many things, the eldest girl asked, “Semua ni?!”

By the time I got in and sat down, the children were already excited, curious to know what was in the box. They saw there were a few paper bags inside and they were wondering what were inside the bags. I told them the things were all theirs so they could take the things out to see for themselves. And boy, were they excited to find out that each one of them got a bag of goodies each!

I asked about the status of Fuzi’s marriage certificate… whether she managed to get it ‘legalised’ yet. According to Fuzi, the guy who promised to help her had called her and told her to see him this week to settle the marriage cert issue. Once she gets that settled she will need to go to Putrajaya to settle her children’s citizenship status. I asked if Fuzi needs to pay any more money. I was shocked when I was told that the guy asked Fuzi to pay RM1,000 to settle the whole thing!! Earlier on Fuzi had already paid RM300 to get things started. No receipts issued. Now another RM1,000? Even for me that’s a big sum of money… how on earth did he expect Fuzi to fork out the money?!

I told Fuzi that if no receipts are issued then most likely the bulk of the money may just go into the guy’s own pocket! To which Fuzi replied in her Indonesian accent, “Tapi dia nampaknya seperti orang baik-baik, kak!” Aduuuh… but of course my dear… they always act like nice people. The money is the initiative for them to help you…

Okay, so it’s not good to “buruk sangka”. Maybe there is some kind of fine Fuzi need to pay because for many years her late husband never officially registered their Narathiwat marriage. But come on… RM1,000… and no receipts whatsoever?

Or maybe the guy sincerely wants to help, but he needs the money to give “duit kopi” to whoever he needed to seek help from to get things done. Oh I don’t know!! I would love to see this guy and ask him for a breakdown of what the RM1,000 was for. But Fuzi doesn’t want me to make a hoo hah of it for fear I may jeopardize her chances of getting the whole thing settled as soon as possible. So no, she’s not keen on having me accompany her to see this guy.

Alright, but where on earth is she going to fork out the money from? I told her to be frank with the guy and tell him that she’s a non-working single mom and live solely on welfare. When I told her that her PAF application has been approved and that she’ll be getting an additional RM160 per month beginning this month, she was so happy saying she can save that money for this purpose. All she wants to do now is to make sure there are no more hiccups in her children’s citizenship status. She’s willing to “ikat perut” for it.

Up to you, Fuzi… but I’m still suspicious. I have never done all this stuff before so I don’t really know how much money is really involved to get this done. Whatever it is, I sure hope all the citizenship problem will be settled soon so that her children’s citizenship status will not be questioned in the future.

Anyway, besides Fuzi’s marriage cert and her children’s citizenship problem, the family seems to be coping well. The children looked happy and to me that’s what matters most. In fact they are already talking about going to this year’s Raya-do… like the one I organised last year. I haven’t even planned anything yet for this year…

A present from the children

I wasn't in the mood to post anything for the past 2 days. Poor Nurin's case really made me lose my mood to write anything.

But continue with my work I must. Nurin is at a better place now... but other kids need my attention. Yep, in my case, the HIV infected/affected kids.

I promised Yah I'd meet her at the hospital today. She came to get this month's supply of medication and wanted to meet up with me as well. So I told her to wait at the usual place between 12 to 12.30 pm.

When I got there I saw Yah carrying a big box nicely wrapped. Her eldest daughter tagged along. When they got in the car I asked whose present it was. At first I thought she was kidding when she said, "Untuk kakak lah." Huh? For me? Then she said, "Budak-budak pesan... depa suruh bagi hadiah ni kat makcik."

Apparently her kids, particularly the 2 older girls (9 and 7) had been saving for some time their daily school pocket money to buy me a present. Of course their mother had to top up a bit. Whatever the occasion was I don't know but I felt guilty at first. I would have been happy if they just made their own card and wrote something sweet. They could have used the money to buy something for themselves yet they chose to buy something for me. But then I figured if giving me a present makes them happy and excited, oh then, whaddaheck! Just accept the present and make them happy! :)

Well, I couldn't take them for lunch today (puasa lah!!) so I sent them straight to the bus station. But even during the short drive from the hospital to the bus station I managed to get some updates from Yah.

Yah had put aside part of her EPF drawings into ASB. She had to use part of it to repair her house. You see, recently during a rainstorm, a big papaya tree fell onto the kitchen and so the house needed some major repairs. Being the resourceful type, she went to see the YB for her area and managed to get the YB to sponsor half of the repairs.

She's also using some of the money for income generating purposes. She's renting a piece of land (a paddy field to be exact) and will work on the paddy field. No doubt the income will come later but at least she's already thinking long term.

That was about all the update I could get from Yah today. She was in a hurry. She said she needed to stop by a friend's place on the way back before going home. At this point, her 9 year old daughter who tagged along said, "Mak jumpa kawan tu nanti lama ke? Kalau lama nanti bagi kak long sepuluh ringgit, kak long balik sendiri." THAT of course drew immediate response from me, what with Nurin's case still very much in my mind. I told her she must NEVER go back alone! No doubt she felt it was no big deal... she knows what bus to take and she knows where to get down. What she doesn't know is the danger lurking around!

Anyway when I got home in the afternoon I opened the present. The children actually bought me a table lamp clock - minus the bulb. I will have to get the light bulb myself lah...

Later after my zuhur prayer, I went out again. This time to little Boboy's place. His guardians sought my help to fill some forms to ask for financial aid from MAC and so off I went with some Raya goodies for the kids. Boboy looks much better ever since he started taking his HIV medication. When asked what he wants to do when he grows up, he said, "Nanti Boboy dah besar Boboy nak kawin." Oh dear... you cute little boy...

While I was at their place I received an SMS from Zainab. She said her elder daughter (5 year old) had just been warded for kidney problems. Oh dear, oh dear... now I susah hati again...

Will try to visit the little girl at the hospital tomorrow. It was getting late so I had to go home. Got home, went into my bedroom and saw the clock, and remembered Yah's children... sejuuuuk hati...

Ahh, thank you kids. You made my day...