Goodbye 1429/2008... Hello 1430/2009!

Hi there people! Am back from my break although right now am still suffering from the kendafect syndrome. The symptoms? Tiredness and body aches, especially the calves and the thighs.

What? You've never heard of the kendafect syndrome?! Okay then, it's actually short for "kenduri-after-effects".  :)

My nephew's wedding was held my parent's kampong house here in Ipoh, and so I have been rather busy myself although I am not the mak pengantin. I had expected to get back to my normal mode by now, but looks like I still need a few more days to recharge myself. I know it is this time of the year (school will reopen soon) that my PLHIV clients require help for their children's schooling needs, as a matter of fact a few of them have already contacted me for that. I promised them I'd get back to them by next week.

Anyway, we're already in 1430 Hijrah and it will be 2009 very soon. My wish for 1430 and 2009 is for the world to be more peaceful and for all of us to live in harmony. It doesn't appear to be that way with the latest happenings throughout the world, but I can always hope.

Now, allow me to find the cure to my kendafect syndrome before 2009 arrives. Till then, here's wishing everyone a wonderful and happy year ahead!

Brief Updates

Just some brief updates before I go MIA again...

1. We can't get enough volunteers to take part in the HIV/AIDS exhibition in Taiping this weekend, so we had to opt out of participating. Sigh...

2. Razif finally told his wife about his HIV infection without having to lie. I don't really know yet how his wife took the news but the fact that she agreed to join him for the HAART Workshop next week indicates that she didn't take it too bad after all. I still don't have an idea if she herself has been tested though...

3. Fuzi's second daughter has managed to get her MyKad done without much problems because she got an uncle (Fuzi's late husband's brother - a Malaysian) to go with her to JPN. The first daughter's MyKad application is still facing lots of obstacles because the application was done by Fuzi, a non-Malaysian. The earlier application (done last year) is now cancelled and a new application has to be submitted. Fuzi will now try the same method as the 2nd daughter ie get the uncle to help them. Only problem is, the uncle has to be PAID to do the job. Sigh...

4. I gained 2.5 kgs on Hari Raya Haji. Thank goodness Raya is not every day...

Taking a break...

My NGO has a few activities for this month, including a joint exhibition with CASP, an NGO from Penang, in conjunction with World AIDS Day. No, joint is not the right word lah. Let’s just say CASP is organizing everything while Buddies simply ‘menumpang’! Even to just ‘menumpang’, we are finding it hard to get enough volunteers to man our table for the exhibition. The exhibition by the way, will be held at Tesco Taiping on 13th and 14th of December.

There will also be a workshop on HAART (Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy) organized by the Family Health Association on 20th December whereby we Buddies have been invited to send 20 people (exempted from paying the fees) to include volunteers, caregivers and PLHIVs. While I myself can’t make myself available for the workshop, I need to get people to go – and so far I’ve only got 6 names, and I need to submit the names by this week.

Meanwhile, I have yet to finish the progress report on the sponsored children under our Education Sponsorship for Children programme. Am still waiting for a few more reports to come in before I can finalise things. We have 3 more children (including one HIV infected child) needing education sponsorship beginning next year, so hey, if any of you want to sponsor a child, do email me ya?

Our annual year-end dinner is usually held on weekends, but since Madame Chair here simply cannot make herself available on the weekends, the Board agreed to have it on a weekday instead (was thinking of giving it a miss but the other Board members said “Chair must attend lah!”)

Apa yang Madame Chair busy sangat ni?? Actually I need to reserve my December weekends this year for family matters. The 1st weekend of December will be too near Hari Raya Haji. The 2nd weekend, well, I may still be able to make it on Sunday night, but there’s the exhibition I mentioned above in Taiping and so it will be difficult for the volunteers involved in the exhibition. The 3rd weekend, my family will be in Malacca for a kenduri. And the 4th weekend, the kenduri will be held on my family’s side.

So our annual dinner will be on a Tuesday night (we usually hold our meetings on Tuesday nights).

I did receive an invitation from Unicef to attend a brunch function in Carcosa Seri Negara this coming Thursday, but while I’d love very much to go, I simply had to turn down the invitation. Never been to Carcosa before… and am missing the opportunity to be there… sigh!

With so many things to do, and not knowing which ones to do first, I may need to take a break from blogging for a while…

…which was why I made it a point to attend last Saturday’s blog-bash at The Curve. I’m not going to do a write up on that as you can get all the stories and photos from Matsalo’s, Elviza’s, Pak Idrus’ and Pokku’s. I did bring along my camera, but seeing there were so many paparazzis around (with Mat Salo as the kepala paparazzi), I figured there was no need for me to become a paparazziah… (female version meh!)

I have to say it was a great pleasure meeting up with fellow bloggers – the familiar faces (it was such a pleasant surprise seeing Raden Galoh there – you’re one helluva lady sis!), the not-familiar-faces-but-familiar-names and not forgetting the not-familiar-to-me ones. Imagine Tokasid introducing one guy to us saying “This is Bunga Telur & Bally Shoes”. Aduh, I can’t be calling this guy by that name every time, can I?

It was also a pleasant surprise when someone came and asked for Pi Bani and then she said, “Saya ni pembaca aje.” The fact that a silent reader took the effort to ask for me was flattering enough. I think she’s Bunga Telur’s wife (sorry Bunga Telur, I did ask for your real name but can’t for the life of me remember it right now!)

Thank you to the organizers of the “perhimpunan tanpa permit”, and in case I don’t get enough time or the urge to blog for the next few weeks…

To fellow Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya Haji.
To all Christians, Merry Christmas.

I will try to post something before the year ends…

World AIDS Day

In conjunction with World AIDS Day (which is on 1st December), the following event will be held on 30th November 2008.

Click on poster to enlarge.

Mak Aji at the race course...

Sunday 23rd November 2008, I spent almost 2 hours here…


I watched this…

Ish... sibuk je la pakcik ni dengan microphone dia...

And these…

Yep, I was at the Perak Turf Club. Yes, yes, there at the Ipoh Race Course.

So, what was this Mak Aji doing at the race course on a race day?

RACING? I don’t even know how to ride a horse, what more to race one. Nope, out of the question.

I’M THE OWNER OF A RACE HORSE? Naaaah… I don’t have that much money to spend lah. I’d rather get myself a new car – at least I know how to drive.

I WAS LEARNING HOW TO RIDE A HORSE? What, on a race day? Who would want to teach this makcik how to ride a horse when there are more interesting happenings over there?

BETTING? Ish…. buang tabiat ke apa?!


Okay, okay… actually yesterday’s races started with the Charity Cup Race – the main sponsor’s name you can see in the first pic above. As the race name suggests, proceeds went to charity. About 60 charitable organizations in Perak were shortlisted to receive this year’s donations and Buddies of Ipoh was one of them. And that was why this Mak Aji was at the Perak Turf Club – to receive the cheque on behalf of Buddies.

It was my first time there so I was quite like a rusa masuk kampong (or was it Mak Aji masuk race course?). I had to ask the guards there where I was supposed to go. The invitation letter just mentioned that it was to be held at the cheque presentation area – which so happened to be at the race course. The place where we were seated (right below the grand stand) was blocked by the spectators’ stands on our left and right and as such, we weren’t able to witness the whole race although the finishing line was right in front of where we were seated. A clear view of how the race finished, but I was too slow to get any photos… not that they needed any photo finish...

After the race was the presentation of prizes to the owner of the winning horse, its trainer and its rider. Nope, no prize was presented to the horse after all the hard work… poor thing…

Then came the presentation of cheques by the Chairman of the Club to the various recipients. I was number 57 out of the 60 representatives of various organizations - shelter homes, orphanages, old folks homes etc. Thank goodness they gave actual bankable cheques instead of those big mock cheques (I think because there were too many of us), so after the cheque presentation and after making sure we got the right cheques, we could all leave before the other races started. I can just imagine the jam if we had to leave at the same time as the kaki-kaki kuda who were there to watch the races.

And so that was how a Mak Aji spent some time at the race course…

To leave or not to leave...

When I went to visit Fuzi the other day, she complained to me about Yah again. Remember earlier I mentioned about Yah telling Fuzi’s friend that Fuzi has HIV? Well, that was not all there was to it. It seems after that Yah also mentioned to the friend that Fuzi was flirting around with a few male friends, bla, bla, bla…

Now, now… first disclosing confidential information, then she went to the extent of adding all sorts of herbs, spices and MSG to her story?! God, what does she get anyway? If she wants to get a kick out of it, I don’t mind kicking her myself!!

Come to think of it, I think Yah was telling this guy about herself (but saying that Fuzi’s the one she was talking about lah) – Yah’s the one who has been flirting around! Fuzi on the other hand is a direct opposite – she hardly even gets out of the house unless she has to.

Guess what? The very next day after I went to visit Fuzi, I received a call from Yah – and as always it’s from a totally different number. I asked her direct if she purposely used a different number every time she called me so that I wouldn’t be able to call her back. She insisted she changed to a new number because she lost her old phone.

As usual, whenever Yah calls me, she doesn’t talk about her “extra-curricular” activities. I suppose it’s because she “takut nanti Kak Afizah marah” just like during our last Family Day when she donned on the tudung on the bus for that very reason. All the stories about the guys she meets she’d tell to a male colleague of mine who’s also a non-Muslim. She probably thinks that male colleague of mine wouldn’t be telling me of her (mis)adventures.

Anyway, Yah called me because she tried to call that male colleague of mine but her calls didn’t get through. So she sought my favor to pass a message to him – that she’s coming to get her medication in Ipoh next week and needs to see him for some matters. Waah… must tease my colleague lah… got a hot date with Yah! Muahaha!

It has been quite some time since I got any updates on Yah’s children so when she called I took the opportunity to ask her about them. Her 2 older daughters, who are at an orphanage, seem to be doing very well in school. In fact both of them were top in their respective classes. But, although they themselves were the ones who wanted to go to the orphanage in the first place, now they are the ones who want to balik kampong.

And so Yah is worried. I am not too sure what she’s worried about though. Maybe she’s worried she’ll have less money to spend on herself. Maybe she feels she wouldn’t have as much freedom as she has now if the girls are back at home. Her eldest daughter had after all voiced out her concern earlier on when Yah were exchanging calls and SMS with Mr Darling.

Frankly, I am worried too if the girls stay with their mother. Right now they are doing quite well in school. Maybe they are just not happy because their life is so regimented at the orphanage – but that does not seem to affect their studies. My worry if they stay with Yah is that Yah’s behavior may have a bad influence on them.

Things aren’t confirmed yet though. Whether or not they will leave the orphanage, I will have to wait and see whatever the outcome is when school reopens. I have not met the 2 girls ever since they went to stay at the orphanage. But every time they see their mother they'd always tell their mother to convey their salam to me.

Oh well, the mother makes my blood boils… the daughters cool me down…

Aiyo, what next?

I was on my way to Fuzi’s house today when I suddenly remembered that Razif was supposed to go for his appointment this morning. Remember Razif, the guy who didn’t know how to break the news to his wife? Well, I suggested to him to just tell his wife that the doctor had asked him to bring her along for his appointment and then let the doctor break the news of his HIV to his wife. He thought it was a good idea.

I wasn’t on clinic duty today. So I decided to call my colleague who was on duty to find out. According to my colleague, while Razif came for his appointment, his wife didn’t come along. He has not even told his wife about his appointment at the hospital! “Takde masa lagi nak bagitau”, so he said.

Please lah… he sees his wife day in day out at home. It’s not that he has yet to find the time to tell his wife – he simply finds it hard to open his mouth to tell his wife he has HIV. I can understand that. But takde masa? Takde masa my foot!

Today Razif got the results of his blood test. His CD4 is only 36. My guess is that he was infected for quite some time already; so chances are his wife may have been infected too. He really needs to get his wife tested. But to do that, he must first tell his wife that he himself has been infected. Now that he blew his chances of getting his wife to come along with him to the hospital today, I wonder what will be his next move. With such a low CD4 count, he will need to start with his ARV medication. Will the wife not suspect anything then? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Back to Fuzi, I promised her I’d visit today. So this afternoon after buying some fast food for the children, off I went to Fuzi’s house. As Fuzi opened the door, the first child as always greeting me at the door with a big smile was Ijam, the infected child. He came up with an even bigger smile when I handed over the fast food I brought along.

Ijam will start schooling next year. Next week will be his appointment with the pediatrician, and Fuzi will be discussing with the doctor about Ijam’s medication. For the moment he needs to take his medication 4 times a day – which will be troublesome when he starts going to school. Very likely he will need to change to taking the medication twice a day.

Anyway, remember I mentioned in my posting here about Faiz, Ijam’s older brother, being caught smoking in school? Well, I actually got the wrong info. You see, Fuzi’s exact words when she told me earlier were “Dia ditangkap tengah menghisap dengan kawan-kawan”. Fuzi didn’t elaborate further then, so I assumed she meant hisap rokok. Boy was I wrong!

When Fuzi told me today that Faiz bukan hisap rokok, I was thinking… oh God… don’t tell me it’s hisap dadah? Hisap gam?! These are 10 year olds we’re talking about.

But I guess nothing was going to surprise me anymore. I’ve met people like Lily, who had to lead such a complicated life; I’ve met people like Zana, the problematic young woman; I’ve met people like Zali, whose wife actually left him and their 2 young kids (she never came back for the kids); I’ve met people like Hasnah who on record doesn’t exist; I’ve met people like Anita who is 22 but has yet to get her IC done due to some complicated problems. I figured I’ve met them all.

“Dia hisap apa?” I asked Fuzi, and I was prepared not to be shocked with whatever that Fuzi was going to tell me. Or so I thought.

“Hisap kemaluan”, came the answer.

What the…???!!

God help me please. I wonder what other kind of stories I will encounter in the course of my voluntary work…

Here they go again...

Remember in my earlier posting here during fasting month, I mentioned about Mrs K trying to borrow money from me? I suspect she wanted to use the money for Raya.

Guess what? Last Saturday, while I was enjoying my lazy weekend, a text message came in from Mrs K -

"Kak, mintak tolong nak pakai 200 nak bayar duit air hari isnin nak kena potong. Saya bayar balik dapat duit kutu."

The last time she wanted to borrow money, while she didn't give specific reasons, her last sentence was the same - "saya bayar balik dapat duit kutu". If she has been using the same sentence to every person she has borrowed money from, by the time she really gets her duit *kutu, she'd finish them all just by paying off her loans.

(*Kutu is a practice where a group of people contributes a certain amount of money every month and each month they will get their turn in getting the whole lump sum collected. Say, there are 20 of them and each of them give RM50 each month, the total collected each month will be RM1,000. So each month someone will get his/her turn in getting a lump sum of RM1,000. Mrs K's turn is supposed to be in April next year.)

Although I didn't lend her any money the last time, she's still trying again, only this time the excuse is to pay for her water bill. But RM200 for her water bill? How much water do they use each month? And how long haven't they been paying their bills?

I am assuming she really wants the money to pay for her water bill. It has happened before. When the amount was small, they postponed paying, wanting to use the money to buy other things. Then the amount grew and by then they wouldn't have enough money to pay the full amount needed to avoid water supply from being cut off.

I suppose the last time she tried to borrow money from me, even though I said no, maybe I sounded too polite (or as some people say, cakap berlapik). I said, "Maaf, saya tak dapat tolong." To me, it was a clear enough indication that I wouldn't lend them any money. I guess she didn't read between the lines then and so she thought I'd still help later on if she can come up with a desperate enough excuse. So, she's trying again this time.

Well, this time I told her that I will not entertain any requests from her to borrow any money, that she should have spent wisely when she had the money, that she must spend according to her means and prioritize her necessities. And I told her Astro is something we can live without.

Some of you may remember how, last year, although I had reminded them before that they must use their money wisely and save some money for rainy days, when they did manage to get their hands on Mr K's EPF drawings, one of the first things they did was to install Astro at home. Then, during last year's Raya, they had a mini open house - almaklum, masa tu jadi orang kaya baru.

The last time I went to visit them at home, the TV programme they were watching was from an Astro channel still. Meaning they must have paid for their Astro subscription but failed to pay their water bill. Not that I have anything against Astro, but please lah, we can still live without Astro but we cannot live without water - so set your priorities right lah!

I wish Mrs K was more like Nuri whom we helped initially and with our help she started her own food stall and after that never bothered us anymore. I wish Mrs K was more like Ani and her husband whom we helped with their EPF drawings and with the money they built their own house. I wish Mrs K was more like Fuzi who would only spend according to her means. I wish Mrs K was more like Shila who is always thankful with whatever that she gets and never goes around asking for more.

Ah, but it takes all kinds to make this world. I can't expect everyone to behave the way I want them to. Likewise, I'm sure there are people out there who aren't too pleased with my attitude and wish they could change me into someone else more to their liking.

But still, cases like Mrs K's and Yah's always manage to make my blood go upstairs lah!

Well, you win some, you lose some...

The week that was...

I had initially planned to visit Fuzi over this weekend, but weekend is here and somehow I just don’t feel like going anywhere. I feel sooooo lazy. Like my former Science teacher used to tell my batch-mates in school when we were in form 3 – “You girls are plain LAZY – capital L capital A capital Z capital Y, underline twice with red ink!!”

Yep, THAT lazy! I just feel like having a good rest. Oh well, I think I’d better take a good rest before I suffer from burnout.

Maybe I just feel tired after attending a seminar in KL the other day – am not the kind to sit still the whole day to listen to people talking so a whole day seminar is indeed tiring, not forgetting the additional 2 hours driving to KL and 2 hours driving back. But I was running out of time to gain another 8 CPD (continuing professional development) hours required for this year to renew my license with the professional body of which I am a member – so a whole day seminar it had to be.

Earlier in the week I had to attend a business client’s board meeting where the topic of discussion didn’t really follow the agenda – and where whatever that went wrong in the company was always the fault of somebody else. Sigh…

I guess that’s why I prefer to do voluntary work – there may not be any monetary rewards, but I do get more satisfaction - except for the few cases like Yah’s lah… this one can drive me up the wall if I pay too serious attention to her! (Nanti I jadi spiderwoman le pulak asyik panjat dinding je…)

Samsul called up from the hospital on Wednesday. He and his wife Suhaila were there for their blood tests and since they were in Ipoh, they wanted to pass me the copies of supporting documents we requested from them to enable us to help submit their application for financial assistance, particularly for their child. Thank goodness things weren’t too hectic at the office that day so I went out for a while – this is Ipoh after all… so the hospital was just 10 - 15 minutes drive away. The only problem was that it’s never easy getting a parking spot at the hospital.

As I entered the hospital compound, I was surprised when I saw a certain area cordoned off from the public. There was one tent outside with the staff fully equipped with the kind of equipments like the ones used during the SARS or bird flu outbreak. I was thinking to myself… Huh? Is there an epidemic or pandemic going on that I’m not aware of? I must really be out of touch with the real world!!

I couldn’t get a parking spot at first, far or near. I called Suhaila, thinking maybe I could tell them to meet me outside so I didn’t have to park my car. But I was told they were at the canteen, eating. I couldn’t simply ask them to leave just like that without finishing their food and drinks. For people like them who earn so little, every single drop counts! Thank goodness during my second round of looking for a parking spot, somebody just drove out of a spot very near to the specialist clinic, so lucky me it didn’t take me too long to get my car parked.

As I walked to the canteen, I saw a signboard – Latihan Simulasi Pandemic Influenza. Ohhh… so it was just a simulation exercise! I’m not so out of touch with the real world after all… phew!!

Anyway, I just had a short chat with Suhaila and Samsul. I just took the copies of documents from them and then I left. No doubt things weren’t too hectic at the office, but usually it’s when I’m not in the office that the business clients want me to sign this and that and they always seem to want things immediately. It’s their payments that are never immediate.

I will still have to visit Fuzi soon to get the reports on her children’s progress in school. I hope to do so within this coming week. I need to prepare the full report for all the children under our sponsorship program as I need to send the reports to each individual sponsor before year end. Besides, I will need to ask for next year’s sponsorship money…

Aiseh… lots of paperwork coming up laa…

Tagged again - Cringe moments!

Tags, tags, tags... I am not a fan but somehow I still get tagged. Maybe it’s because I tend to give in easily. Ye lah... people tagging me means there are people thinking of me, right?

The first time I got tagged, it came in the form of an award – The Thinking Blogger Award. For this I was tagged by Kak Teh, Raden Galoh and Apandi. The rule of the award was that I’d have to name 5 other bloggers for the award. I withdrew myself for reasons stated here.

The next tag came from Kak Ruby and Cikgu KTN. This time it was a charity tag originating from Pak Payne (or back then better known as Idham). Since it was for charity, I gladly responded here.

Then came the blonde bimbo moments tag coming from Typhoon Sue, followed by the tagging galore coming from Nightwing, Pearly and Daphne Ling. I answered all 3 tags in one posting here.

Next was the 2007 takeaways tag coming from Pak Zawi. Then I stopped getting all these tags… until just recently when Kerp tagged me and I was supposed to expose 15 random facts about myself. That was less than a month ago.

Well, I just got tagged again – by Kak Teh. The tag is about my cringe moments – something similar to the blonde bimbo moments tag I responded to earlier. Since I withdrew myself the first time Kak Teh tagged me, this time I guess I owe her one. Kalau dia merajuk nanti susah nak pujuk…

My cringe moments? Ish, apasal sibuk nak tau ni??! Oh well, I had a good laugh reading Kak Teh’s and Kak Puteri’s cringe moments, so whaddaheck!! Here goes…

SCENE 1: PI BANI AND THE GLASS DOOR

I was in form 3 or form 4 then. It was during staying up hours. There I was in the lounge at the hostel block, supposedly studying. But studying had always made me sleepy, so I got up and went out to the water cooler right outside the lounge, near the sliding doors. The sliding doors were made up of wooden frames and glass panes. For quite some time, one section of the door was without any glass pane and we’d happily walk through the door without any problem. Well, that particular day the glass pane was finally replaced. Having made it a habit to walk in through that door, that night after getting a drink from the water cooler, I did exactly that – I walked back into the lounge through that door and...

GEDEGANNGGGG!!!

Silly old sleepy-head me banged into the glass pane lah! Lucky thing I didn't break the newly replaced glass. Needless to say, I was sleepy-head no more. The girls in the lounge had a good time giggling away. Well, they couldn’t laugh out loud since we weren’t supposed to make any noise during staying up hours.

SCENE 2: PI BANI AND HER DRIVING SHOES

Noticing that the shoes I wear to work gets worn out faster (especially the heels) if I wear them for driving, now I have a separate pair of shoes, either flat shoes or slippers, which I leave in my car.

I was on my way back from work one day when I decided to drop by a grocery shop to buy some things. Parked my car, got down and walked to the shop, bought whatever necessary and then I walked back to the car. No problemos.

As I was getting back into the car, I realized that I had my work shoe on my left foot and my driving shoe on my right foot! I had been wearing them all along when I walked to the grocery shop. Until now I wonder how I managed to walk around with one flat shoe and one heeled shoe without even realizing it! I must have looked like a MGB. (makcik-gone-bonkers)


SCENE 3: PI BANI AND HER PARKING TICKET

It was my first time at a parking lot using auto-pay machines. As I was about to leave, I got to one of those auto-pay machines to pay for my parking. There was nobody in front of me so I couldn’t observe others using the machine. Whaddaheck, I thought… just follow the instructions lah, what’s so difficult? So I read the instruction, it said “insert ticket”. Confidently I inserted my parking ticket into the slot located on the right side of the machine. The machine didn’t seem to accept my ticket. Dia buat donno aje. I pushed the ticket further in, still no response from the machine. Kurang asam punya machine.

Then I heard some people walking by – am not sure if they noticed this jakun at the auto-pay machine but it was only then that I realized there was another slot on the left side. So inserted my ticket there and finally the machine accepted my ticket and the next instruction was to insert money. Of course by then I already knew where to insert the money lah kan…

SCENE 4: PI BANI AT THE RESTAURANT

I have already mentioned this story in my earlier respond to the blonde bimbo moments tag. But let me just mention a shorter version of it here.

A friend had approached me, asking me to talk to a relative of hers, a problematic rebellious teenager who always caused trouble to her family. So we agreed to meet up in front of a particular restaurant. My friend then left me with the girl and went off elsewhere. We figured the girl wouldn’t talk much if my friend was around. I told my friend I’d call her once we’re done.

We went into the restaurant, ordered some food and had our chat. After about an hour or so, I called my friend to inform her that we were done. We (the teenager and I) then got up and walked out to wait for my friend. Just as I was about to open the door to walk out, a waitress ran after me and said rather loudly, “Kak, belum bayar!”

I had totally forgotten to pay for the food!!! I looked at the bill, gave the waitress some money and told her to keep the change as I was too embarrassed to wait a second longer. There I was, talking to a problematic teenager, yet I looked like someone trying to escape without paying but got caught instead! During times like this, I wished the waitress would have called me makcik or even nenek instead of kak. Then at least people may think… alahai, kesian orang tua pelupa ni…

SCENE 5: PI BANI AT THE CAR SERVICE CENTRE

I went to send my car for servicing at the regular service centre. They had a comfortable waiting area so I waited there while they serviced my car. Once done, the girl at the counter called me, “Kak, sudah siap!” I got up from my seat, went to the counter, the girl showed me the bill, and I paid in cash. After she gave me my change, I asked for my car key. The girl looked confused. Then she asked, “Yang kakak pegang tu bukan kunci kereta kakak ke?”

Actually when she showed me the bill earlier, she had already given me the key and I was holding it all along. There I was already holding the key and yet I was still asking for it. I then said to the girl, “Aiyo, sudah nyanyok lorr!” and then selamba-ly walked out (it helps that I have a muka sadin).

Alright then, 5 scenes enough lah okay? I hereby tag whoever wants to share their cringe moments with the rest of the world...

The problematic ladies...

When I was on clinic duty last Wednesday, I took the opportunity to get some additional info from SN on some of my old clients. SN now has an assistant helping her out at the HIV clinic so at least she has a bit of time to entertain me with my queries. Previously she was all alone in assisting the doctor - so it wasn't a good idea getting info from her on a clinic day. She'd be rushing here and there.

I had been trying to get in touch with a 69 year old lady client to whom I was assigned to as a buddy 2 months ago, but somehow all my calls didn't get through. Every time I called, I'd get the message, "Please try later." So I checked with SN in case I wrongly copied the phone number. SN took out the client's file, and yes, it was the correct number. What SN is afraid of, is that usually if we are unable to call the clients, chances are they'd be missing their next appointment. This lady's next appointment is in February 2009, so let's just wait and see if she's going to turn up. So far the other elderly lady I was assigned to, Makcik Minah, 74, came only for her first appointment and disappeared after that.

I also asked about Ifa, who, during my last meet with her, told me her blood test at a particular district hospital showed that she didn't have HIV. Well, according to SN, the latest blood test done at Ipoh GH showed Ifa's CD4 count had dropped drastically while her viral load shot up. My guess is, at the district hospital Ifa mentioned, they didn't even test her for HIV (she was warded for asthma). So of course the results didn't show anything about her HIV status. Obviously Ifa had not been compliant in taking her ARV medication. In fact, Ifa openly admitted she doesn't take her medication on weekends as she'd usually be at the disco then - and she didn't want the ARV medication to clash with the ecstasy pills she takes when at the disco. Ifa had told me earlier about this, and I've talked to her about the implications then. But whatever said to her seemed to be going in one ear and immediately out the other. Her earlier khalwat case has not been settled, yet she seems to be getting herself into more trouble. Earlier on, she used to cry a lot. Nowadays she doesn't cry anymore, but she seems oh so stubborn! She doesn't seem to care about the implications of whatever that she does. She said she doesn't want to think about her HIV anymore. To me, it looks as though she's not even thinking at all. Susahlah ini macam... we're trying to help her, but she doesn't want to help herself. And the fact that her father doesn't give a hoot about whatever happens to her is making it even worse. Sigh...

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When my colleague and I were on our way to visit Suhaila and Samsul last week, my colleague told me about Yah's latest "adventures". Well, Yah doesn't seem to call me anymore (unless the financial assistance she usually gets are banked in late - even though I told her time and again, all the financial assistance she gets are not under my control) ever since she got herself involved with so many men. First she got herself involved with Mr Darling. Then with one engineer (the one she chased all the way to Kelantan and caught this guy in bed with another woman). Then with one army guy whom she slept with without informing the guy of her HIV status. The army guy did find out later about her HIV and threatened to kill her if tests show he's infected. Hmmm... I wonder what happened to this guy... never heard about him since then.

And remember in my earlier posting I mentioned about Yah getting from Fuzi the phone number of Fuzi's friend and ended up telling this friend about Fuzi's HIV status? Well, according to Fuzi, Yah asked for the number "saja nak kawan-kawan". Aiyo, she wanted to kawan-kawan and Fuzi just gave her the number?? To me Fuzi was at fault too for giving Yah the number. I mean, the least she could have done was to ask for the friend's permission to give his number to someone else.

Anyway, according to my colleague, he spoke to Yah quite recently and she told him about her newfound "Datuk" friend who bought her a RM200 handbag. Well, I'm not quite sure if this Datuk is a spouse to a datin or to a nenek, but as my colleague mentioned, we don't understand why anyone would want to "saja-saja" buy her an expensive handbag. We're quite sure Yah did not mention to him about her HIV. What we're not sure about is what Yah gave in exchange for the handbag... after flirting around from one man to another, you get what I mean lah...

Sigh. First she was just Yah, the tough kampong lady. Then after her angau episode with Mr Darling, she became Yah Ah Ngau. I guess now it's Wild, Wild Yah...

Clinic duty and house visit

I was on clinic duty last Wednesday. It had been quite some time since my last clinic duty. Ever since my mother underwent her knee operation in August, I took a break from the clinic duties.

My mother is doing well now, and things aren’t too hectic (yet) at the office, so I decided it’s about time I go for clinic duty. After all, I needed to get some info from SN about some of my old clients.

There were only 3 new cases referred to us that day. The first 2 were Chinese-speaking patients so I let my 2 colleagues do the talking while I wrote down their particulars for our record. The 3rd one was a Malay guy though, and so my colleagues let me handle the session. But I didn’t really have to say much.

You see, this third guy, an ex-IVDU, did all the talking! He was diagnosed HIV positive when he was still in a pusat serenti and since then he was determined to give up on drugs. Now still on methadone treatment, he has also already started taking his ARV medication. He is actively involved in the activities of AADK (agensi anti dadah kebangsaan) and even gives talks to youths; talking about his own experience – how he got involved in drugs etc. He told us that his “journey” to being an addict began since he was in form 2. He told us how, when he started working in KL, he could get his heroin supply for the day for as low as RM2. During the talks to the youths he’d also openly admit he has HIV.

The moment this guy left the counseling room, my colleague commented, “First time lah, the patient talks more than us.” True indeed, usually the people referred would still be in shock, and feeling rather lost, they wouldn’t know what to say and most of the time they’d just keep quiet and would only answer whenever we ask them anything.

Later in the afternoon, together with another colleague, I went to visit Suhaila and Samsul at their home in another town. We promised Samsul we’d give him a call once we reach the town so he could wait by the roadside. Their house is right beside the main road leading to another town, and while it was easy finding the road, it’s not so easy looking out for the house number!

I have never met Samsul or Suhaila before, so I had to depend on my colleague to look out for Samsul. When we got there, at first I was quite surprised. What I saw was a lovely kampong house which definitely looks much better than the kampong house I'm staying in now! I thought Suhaila and Samsul told us they desperately needed help financially?! Then I looked around, and then I noticed there were a few small wooden houses at the back within the same compound. Ahh, Suhaila and Samsul were actually renting a house within the same compound as the landlord’s.

I had brought along some foodstuff with me in my car, including rice, flour, noodles and some canned stuff (yes Pak Malim, including canned sardines!) and unlike some other clients who’d usually say, “Alaa… buat susah kakak je!”, Suhaila and Samsul just thanked me. Obviously they were already desperate.

When I got into the house, at first I thought it looked rather spacious for a small house. Then I realised it looked spacious because they didn't have any furniture whatsoever. Just a mat. (people with susunitis like Kak Puteri will mati kutu here...)

The couple has a very active 2 year old boy who has been tested negative for HIV. Alhamdulillah. Suhaila is a fulltime housewife while Samsul collects and sells recyclable goods, earning just over RM200 per month. Their house rental? RM150 per month. Just about RM50 a month left for food and other things including travelling to Ipoh for their appointments. How lah to survive like that?

Samsul is willing to work. It’s just that at the place where they live, there are not many job openings, especially those which don’t require him to do medical check up, particularly blood tests. There are many job openings in Ipoh but he’d need to move to Ipoh first. Samsul and Suhaila doesn’t mind moving as long as we could get them a cheap house.

So we are now trying to find a cheap house (circa RM200 rental) for them and there is a very good chance that he can get a job as a security guard (Samsul by the way, is still strong and healthy despite his HIV). If the plan works out, they will definitely have more than RM50 a month to spend on necessities, and since they’ll be staying in Ipoh, the cost of travelling to the hospital for their appointments will be much cheaper!

Not forgetting, it will be much easier for me to visit them too.

I really hope the plan will work out… soon!

How to break the news?

I was getting ready to go to work on Monday when a text message came in on my hand phone. So I checked and the message was "Akum". That's it. Nothing else. And it came from an unfamiliar number so I couldn't figure out who the sender was. Now, who on earth would text me a message just to say "Akum"?

At first I thought maybe the sender accidentally sent the message before he/she managed to finish keying in whatever he/she wanted to say. But no other SMS came in, so I just let it be. Maybe it was just a case of wrong number. I have received calls on my hand phone before asking for Adelyn lah... Zul lah... Chong lah...

Later in the afternoon I got a call from the same number. But the phone just rang once and then it stopped. It was as though the caller purposely gave me a missed call. He/she wanted me to call back or what?! Usually only my niece would do that (giving me a missed call and expecting me to call back).

I sent a text message to the number - "Siapa ni?"

Then the reply came: "Maaf ya. Saya dpt no fon ni dr hspital. Saya dijangkiti kuman HIV."

I still had no idea if this person was a male or a female but that didn't matter; I decided to call this person. Chances were this person wasn't really sure if he/she should call me.

A guy answered my call. He had just been diagnosed HIV+ less than a month ago and was feeling rather lost and confused at the moment.

I asked if he was free to come to my NGO center the next day around 3 pm. Since he said he's usually free after 2 pm, he agreed.

The next day I made sure I reached the center before 3 pm. The guy reached our center at 3 pm sharp.

Razif found out about his HIV infection when he went to a private clinic for his very bad cough which didn't seem to stop. The private clinic did a full blood test on him. Before the test results came out, Razif was admitted to the Ipoh GH for some lung infection. Somehow, he was not tested for HIV when he was warded. After he got discharged, the doctor at the private clinic called him to inform him that he had been infected with HIV. The doctor then gave him a referral letter and told him to go to the ID clinic at Ipoh GH.

So last week he went to the ID clinic and met up with SN to fix for an appointment. SN also got him to do another blood test at the hospital to find out his CD4 and CD8 count. His appointment with the doctor will be in about 2 weeks time.

Razif has not told any of his family members about his HIV. He is confused. He is scared. His parents and siblings may not need to know, but his wife definitely needs to know as she will have to get tested as well. Yes, Razif is married and has 3 young kids aged between 5 to 8 years old.

I asked Razif how he got infected. No, I wasn't trying to be judgmental or whatever but how he got the virus may make a difference as to how his wife will react when she finds out. From what I've seen so far, the wives are more forgiving if their husbands were IVDUs as compared to those who got the virus by having sex with other women. And for those who have had sex with other women, how the wife would react would also depend on WHEN his sexual activities took place. If before their marriage, then maybe there's a bit more room for forgiveness (the wife will still be upset and/or angry la). But if he had those affairs after marriage, a big war may follow after the wife finds out...

Well, Razif was never an IVDU. The infection was through sexual contacts. When asked if his wife ever knew of his affairs with other women, he just said maybe. He's not too sure himself.

OK, so how does one break the news? How do we tell a person that he/she has been infected with HIV? How do we tell someone that her husband/his wife has HIV?

Heck, I don't know! Breaking the news of someone's HIV infection is something I have never done before and I bet neither have most, if not all, of my other fellow Buddies. You see, most of the cases referred to us are of those who have already been told of their HIV status. All we do is talk/listen to them as it is during the first few weeks that they would feel very, very down.

Back to Razif - how do we help him? Yes, we can go to his house to talk to his wife if he wants us to, but with 3 young kids around and not knowing how his wife would react, I don't think that's a good idea. If she becomes too shocked to say anything, it wouldn't be too bad. But what if suddenly "world war 3" starts immediately? Who knows, anything is possible.

Since Razif will be seeing the doctor in about 2 weeks time, I suggested to him to tell his wife that he has an appointment at Ipoh GH on that date and that the doctor had requested that he brings his wife along. Let the doctors break the news. They are used to doing so. And they can explain better to the wife of the implications whatsoever. Hopefully the wife will be able to control herself better at the hospital rather than at home. How the wife will react later when they get home... that's a different story altogether. I told Razif to still be prepared for whatever that was to come and that if he needed to talk after that, he could always call us. Or if his wife needs someone to talk to, then she can call us too.

Razif was receptive to the idea. After all, he was warded at the Ipoh GH quite recently and so the wife may think that some test results are out and the doctor may want to talk to them both regarding Razif's illness.

So, yes, that is how it will be. Or at least that was what Razif agreed to do. The wife needs to be tested for HIV. If she's negative, alhamdulillah. But if she is positive, then the kids will need to be tested too.

Anita & her baby

It had been quite a while since HIV positive mothers with babies were referred to us Buddies. The most recent cases assigned to me were more than a year ago. The youngest of the toddlers is almost 2 years old, with others already over 2 years of age. All already running around.

Recently a colleague informed me that we may be getting a new case of mother and baby soon. Initially I was made to understand that the baby too is infected. It was an out of wedlock childbirth, so when I was told the baby was positive, I thought probably the mother did not go for proper checkups for her pregnancy. Apparently my colleague had assumed the baby was positive based on what he heard from someone else - without checking the facts.

Remember Anita, the young mother I mentioned in my last posting? Well, this is about her.

Anita is 22 years of age. She had an affair with a foreign worker, got pregnant and the foreign worker left her. Anita was then staying with her sister in another state. When the sister found out about her pregnancy, she was reluctant to let Anita stay with her. Anita was passed around from one sister to another, until finally the sister closest to her agreed to take care of her. The sister, already married, took in Anita to stay with her and took care of her throughout her pregnancy.

So yes, Anita did go for proper checkups at the hospital, and that was when she found out about her HIV infection. Necessary precautions were taken to minimise the chances of infection to the baby and so, no, the baby is NOT confirmed positive. The baby, a cute little boy, now 2 1/2 months old, is however under observation and blood tests will have to be done from time to time. I truly hope and believe the baby is spared from the virus.

The problem now is not about the baby being infected, but the fact that Anita has yet to get a birth cert for the baby. I was rather confused at first as to what the problem really was. Anita has been liaising with one of the hospital welfare staff, and was told that they'd help her out with the registration. But the last time Anita went to see the guy, he gave Anita the forms and told her to check back with him later. Or at least that was Anita said. I believe she didn't really understand what the problem was.

Just by speaking to Anita and her sister, I didn't really understand what the problem was either. Yes, the baby doesn't have a father, but I've seen a few such cases before and that didn't stop the child from having a birth cert. The only problem was that at the column for father's particulars it was written "Maklumat tidak diketahui."

The JPN form has been filled and signed, the borang pengesahan kelahiran has also been signed by the maternity unit, so what's the problem in getting a birth cert for the baby?

After more digging, we found out that Anita herself doesn't own an Identity Card. All she has is her birth cert. Duh! Already 22 and her IC not done yet? OK, never mind, we thought. With her birth cert, she should still be able to get her IC done - of course she has to pay fines and all that, but that's not a major problem. Or so we thought.

You see, Anita and her siblings share the same mother, but Anita has a different father. The late father of the siblings was a Malaysian who married a Singaporean who eventually got herself a Malaysian citizenship. When their father died, their mother married an Indonesian with Malaysian PR status. Despite already having obtained citizenship by then, in Anita's birth cert, her mother's citizenship was written as Singaporean, while the father, Indonesian. Her father has since disappeared, and although Anita's siblings tried to look for him to help with Anita's IC, they could not locate him.

They were in the process of getting their mother to sign the necessary statutory declarations to correct Anita's birth cert and to confirm Anita's citizenship status when Anita's mother died.

The sister with whom Anita is currently staying is willing to help her out, but she herself is not quite sure how to go about. So for the time being, Anita still doesn't have an IC. I asked if there were any problems in school without her IC. To my surprise, I was told that Anita only went to a sekolah rakyat for a short while. Ahh! No wonder lah! My first impression of Anita was that she wasn't such a "wild" girl like the previous case of the out-of-wedlock pregnancy I had handled before (remember Zana?). She looked the innocent type. She didn't even get proper education. Anita is just the kind who can be easily duped.

I am not sure if that (of Anita not having an IC) was the problem in getting a birth cert for the baby. Anita herself was a victim of circumstances, we don't want her baby to inherit the same. We hope to help her settle the problem soonest possible, although frankly speaking, I am not too sure myself how to go about. Right now I am like going around the roundabout not knowing which junction to take. Must we settle Anita's IC problem first before getting a birth cert for the baby? Or can we get the birth cert without having to wait for Anita's IC to be done? Any readers out there care to advise?

One good thing is that Anita has at least one sister willing to take care of her and the baby. Otherwise, we'd probably have to send her to a shelter home.

A busy Sunday

A senior writer of a monthly magazine emailed me last week, wanting to interview me on my voluntary work; and asking if I could arrange to get any HIV+ mothers to be interviewed as well.

I had no problems about being interviewed, as long as they were willing to come to Ipoh for the interview. It would be good publicity for the Buddies. As for them interviewing my clients, well, I could ask a few of my clients, but if they refuse I would have to respect their decision and would not persuade them further. Some conditions would have to be met of course - the clients shall remain anonymous - so no photos of them and no real names either. And since we are not supposed to bring outsiders to the homes of our clients, the interview would have to be held elsewhere.

Since Fuzi has a +ve child, at first I thought she may be the right person to be interviewed. After all, her neighbors already know about her HIV status. But due to the discrimination she has been facing from her neighbors of late, Fuzi was reluctant.

I then called Shila and asked her the same thing. Shila was quite okay with the idea as long as she could remain anonymous. And since Shila is good friends with Jah, I told Shila I'd try to rope in Jah as well so that she wouldn't be the only one interviewed. Asking Jah was not a problem at all. She'd always jump at the opportunity to jalan-jalan anywhere, and upon hearing that Shila would be joining as well, she said yes on the spot. In her mind was... jalan-jalan and FREE LUNCH!! :)

And so the date was fixed - we were to meet the senior writer at a particular shopping center at 2 pm on Sunday. I told Shila and Jah I'd fetch them at the bus station at 1.30pm and I promised them after that I'd send them back right to their doorsteps.

With the program set for Sunday, I figured I'd spend my Saturday relaxing at home. I needed time to relax too.

While I was relaxing at home on Saturday, blog-hopping in cyberspace, a call came in with the familiar James Bond ring-tone. It was from Suhaila. I have never met Suhaila before. SN had referred Suhaila and her husband to us, as this couple is a poor couple with a young child. Her husband, Samsul, does odd jobs and as such they don't get fixed income. The last time they came to the hospital for their appointments, I was busy at work. So I told them to meet up with a colleague who was on clinic duty that day. That was quite some time ago.

Suhaila called on Saturday to ask if there were any latest developments about their application for financial help, particularly for their child. She said my colleague had promised that he'd visit them at home to arrange for the financial help. Since I wasn't really sure what were discussed the last time they met at the hospital, I told Suhaila I would have to discuss with my colleague first. I also told her that we are all working people and since she stays quite far from Ipoh, we may have problems finding the time to visit them. It's not like I can just drop by at their place on my way home from work.

When I asked my colleague later, he said Suhaila and Samsul were supposed to call him the next time they were to come to Ipoh for their appointments, to hand over whatever copies of supporting documents needed. Yes, he did mention that we Buddies may be visiting them when we have the time. I guess Suhaila and Samsul took it that it was part of our job to help them. I doubt they are aware that we are doing this voluntarily without getting paid.

Anyway, the future of a child is at stake here, so I will try to arrange a visit, hopefully soon.

Later the same day, a call came in from an unfamiliar number. The caller introduced herself as Anita, and asked if I was Cik Afizah; and when I said yes, she asked to speak to my colleague. And I was thinking... aiya, want to speak to my colleague, call my colleague lah, we don't stay in the same house!

Apparently she was referred to us during our last clinic duty (I wasn't on duty then) and since there were problems she needed us to help her with, my colleague promised to visit her at home to assess her situation. But my colleague had been unwell himself lately, and so he had been postponing the visit. Anita didn't take down my colleague's number. So she decided to call me since my number was written on the brochure that she got. Since the girl stays in Ipoh, I told my colleague that we'd visit her after Jah's and Shila's interview with the magazine writer. I asked my colleague to call Anita and inform her of our plan and that we'd bring along 2 HIV positive ladies as well.

Came Sunday, after attending a kenduri and my zohor prayer, I headed to the bus-station to fetch Jah and Shila (and Shila's daughter, Laila). Just as I was about to reach the place, a text message came in from Shila, telling me they were on their way. They were about 10 minutes late.

I then brought them to the shopping complex to meet up with the magazine writer. The interview went smoothly, and was held over lunch, paid for by the interviewer. Selamat poket aku... :)

After an hour or so, the interview (and lunch) was over. I then took the ladies to my NGO center where I promised to fetch my colleague to come along to visit Anita. It wasn't much of a problem looking for Anita's home - her sister's home actually, Anita stays with her sister. Anita has a cute, adorable, rasa nak cubit-cubit 2 1/2 month old baby - so while Jah, Shila and Laila just watched, I was busy, very busy... playing with the baby!

Anita's story has a lot of pusing-pusing and bikin pening, so I'll save her story for my next posting. (sorry, the Pak Malim-syndrome at work here!)

Since it was getting late and I had promised Jah and Shila I'd send them home, we couldn't stay longer at Anita's home. And since I was going to send Jah home, I promised Hana I'd drop by for a while at her home (Jah and Hana stay in the same town). I needed to get a copy of Rashid's death certificate.

Hana had just moved to a new house - in the same kampong and at the foot of the hill instead of perched on the hill. I still had to climb a bit, but this time I could see the house from where I parked my car - unlike her last house. Her last house was getting dangerous to live in anyway. Hana had forewarned me that her father was home and that he doesn't know anything about her HIV (her father has 2 wives and spends most of his time at the home of his 2nd wife). As such I was not to mention anything about her HIV status. I just went as someone from a charitable organisation.

After leaving Hana's house, we sent Jah home before dropping off Shila and Laila on our way back to Ipoh. It was a rather busy day for me.

More house visits are planned for this week - but before that, I will be coming up with Anita's pusing-pusing bikin pening story in my next posting. Stay tuned!

A double catch!

In my blog posting last Friday, I mentioned about a guy, Majid who called to seek our support service. I mentioned that Majid sounded like a young man, and that he didn't sound depressed. Since I was rather busy last week, I told him I'd call him this week so we could meet up.

Well, I called him on Wednesday asking if he'd be free yesterday afternoon. I intended to go to our center around 3.30 pm and I thought it would be a good idea for him to come to our center as another colleague of mine would also be at the center then. Majid agreed. He has flexi working hours and so it wasn't a problem for him to meet up during normal office hours.

So yesterday we met. Majid actually got to the center earlier than I did but my colleague was already there. No, I wasn't late - Majid was early. (tak nak kalah!)

I was right - Majid is a young chap in his twenties - young enough to call me makcik but he got rid of the 'mak' and called me 'cik' instead... (clever chap!) :) He wasn't depressed either, so yep, I was right again.

Of course, when he first found out about his HIV infection, he felt like dying. But he got over it fast enough, and soon, he was already leading a normal life.

Majid is actually a healthy young chap. He looks healthy, he feels healthy and nobody (not even himself) would ever guess that he has HIV. He was never involved with drugs. Yes, he did have unprotected sex a few times (two or three times he said) before this but those days are over. Even his CD4 count is still very high despite his HIV infection.

So, how did he find out about his HIV infection?

You see, early last year he went to the hospital to donate blood. After tests were done on his blood sample, the hospital authorities called him to inform him about the infection. Imagine how he felt at that time. He didn't want his family to know but he needed to talk to someone. I guess his first appointment at the HIV clinic did not coincide with our clinic duty and so SN did not refer him to us. He did get our brochure though, but wasn't sure how to go about contacting us. Yes, the contact number was there but I guess he simply didn't know how to take that first step.

He finally confided in his boss, who was understanding enough. Until now, his boss is the only one amongst his acquaintances who knows about his HIV status. His family, who stays in another state, is totally clueless. His house-mate (he's renting a house with another guy) doesn't know a thing either.

Well, he looks healthy, not yet on medication - so no reason for anyone to suspect anything. With his flexi working hours there's no need to tell anyone whenever he needed to go to the hospital for his appointments.

Majid is however still very much interested in our services. He wants to know more. He feels it is probably better for him if he gets involved in our activities.

After meeting up and talking to him yesterday, I felt he'd be better off as a volunteer rather than a client. All he wants anyway is activities to keep him busy. So I asked if he'd be interested to join us as a volunteer instead. And he agreed! Yayyyy!!!

So we got ourselves a double catch yesterday. We got a new volunteer - and a PLHIV at that!! Looks like our plan to start a peer support group is on track! I still need to present his application to the board for approval (just a formality really) but that shouldn't be a problem at all.

Rose's family

As mentioned in my previous posting, Jee called me while I was at the highway on my way to KL on Saturday. Somehow she has the tendency to call me while I'm driving. The last time she called some time back, I was on my way to Seremban.

Let me just give you some background about Jee and her family. Jee is Rose's younger sister. You may read about Rose here and here. From my earlier postings on Rose, you'd notice that Rose's family had not been too supportive of her. But towards the final weeks of her life, 2 of her sisters, Jee and Bibah did try to help her out as much as they could. Bibah, Rose's immediate older sister, was the one closest to Rose.

When Rose was informed by the doctors that her cancer had spread, Bibah was the one Rose confided in. Rose even gave my number to Bibah, telling her to call me should anything happen to her. During the final 2 weeks when I used to help Rose in and out of the hospital, I'd usually bring Rose to the homes of either Bibah or Jee, since they both stayed in Ipoh. Rose herself stayed in another town.

When Rose died, Bibah called me early morning to inform me about it. I went to their family home where Rose's body was brought to and stayed on until her body was brought to the Muslim cemetery. Noticing how close Rose was to me during her final weeks, Bibah and Jee always sought my opinion, particularly on the future of Rose's children. They were impressed that I knew almost A - Z about Rose, when I only knew her for less than 3 months. Little did they realise then that all Rose needed was a listening ear.

During the first few weeks after Rose's death, I was still actively in touch with Bibah and Jee to settle some matters. When the family, after asking the children themselves, informed me that the children's paternal family would be their new guardians, Bibah and Jee brought me to see the children's grandmother to enable me to assess the family, whether or not they needed financial assistance for the kids.

I was treated as a family friend after that. Either Bibah or Jee would call me from time to time to ask me how I was doing, and they would also invite me each time they had any kenduris or birthday parties. So I do still get updates about Rose's children even though Rose is no longer around.

What Rose never told me was that they had an older brother, Rosli, who was also HIV positive. No, Rose did not get HIV from her brother and neither did the brother get it from her. They were infected from totally different sources. Rose got the virus from her late husband (and only found out about it after his death) while Rosli was an IVDU.

When Rose died, she had quite a stack of HIV medication at home - my guess is she was not too compliant in taking her medication, especially after having to get treatment for her cancer (of the cervix). Rosli, who found out about his HIV infection while he was in a pusat serenti, was reluctant to go for proper check ups at hospitals. When he found out about the stack of HIV medication left untouched by Rose, he actually wanted to take the ARV medication for himself, whenever he felt unwell. He thought the medication could be shared just like any other medication for flu and cough maybe, and that they were only to be taken when he felt unwell. That's the trouble when you assume things instead of consulting the right person.

It was then that Bibah and Jee decided to consult me and tell me about their brother. I told them not to let their brother take Rose's medication without consulting the doctor. To be on the safe side, Bibah gave the whole stack of medication to me, so I could return them to the hospital.

After a while, the sisters managed to coax their brother to go for proper check up at the hospital. I helped to arrange for the referral letter and was even there when the sisters brought him to see SN for the first time before setting the date of his first appointment with the doctor. SN did advise him then that if he wanted to start taking medication, he should stop taking drugs (he was still on drugs then).

Rosli did go for the first appointment on his own. But you know how it is at general hospitals, you can't expect to wait for just half an hour before your name/number is called. It was quite a long wait at the hospital, and Rosli simply was a patient without enough patience. That was the one and only appointment he went for. There wasn't much the sisters could do for him when he didn't want to help himself.

Last Saturday, Jee called me seeking my advise. Rosli's condition had deteriorated or in Jee's own words... "Dia dah teruk." Jee asked if they should take him to the hospital. I told them that if they weren't sure of what else to do, just bring him to the hospital. He was too weak to refuse. Given his condition, there may not be much the doctors could do - it was already too late for that; but maybe they could help reduce his pain.

On Sunday, a call came in from Bibah's number. The moment I saw her number, I knew it had something to do with Rosli. True enough, Bibah called to inform me that Rosli had passed away - the second HIV-related death in the family although the HIV infection of the 2 siblings had nothing to do with each other.

My program last Saturday...

I left home before 7 am on Saturday morning to head to KL. Oh OK, not KL. I was going to Mutiara Damansara.

As I approached Rawang, my phone rang. It was the general ring tone, which meant the caller’s number was not stored in my hand phone. When I answered the call, the voice at the other end didn’t sound too clear, somehow I was the one who spoke louder when by right I should have asked the caller to speak louder. It was me who couldn’t hear her well, not the other way round!

The caller was Jee, younger sister of Rose, whose story was the first of my clients’ I posted on my blog. 2 of Rose’s sisters, who became closer to her towards the final weeks of Rose’s life, eventually treated me as a family friend after Rose’s death.

Why did Jee call? I will save that story for my next posting.

For now let me just tell you why I went to Mutiara Damansara on Saturday. I was there to attend this…

It was the Unicef Malaysia Media Workshop on Children and AIDS.

Last week we received a fax from Unicef Malaysia – not to invite us to send participants for the workshop (it was meant for the media, particularly journalists/reporters), but to send a representative for a special session meant for reporters to meet with doctors and caregivers. I saw it as a good opportunity to introduce Buddies and what we do, and a good opportunity for networking as well. And so I went to represent Buddies.

Being on unfamiliar territory (Mutiara Damansara) I actually had to go 2 rounds to find Royale Bintang, the hotel where the event was held. I could find the Curve quite easily based on the map I printed out earlier, but where on earth was Royale Bintang? I had actually passed it the first round but couldn’t see the name of that hotel. I thought there’d be a different parking entrance for the hotel and the Curve! (Hello… ini orang bawak kereta plate A lah… Perak plate… so I had every excuse to be peghak ok?)

I still managed to get to the function on time. Other than myself representing Buddies, we had 2 doctors from the ID clinic of Sg Buloh Hospital and one representative from PT Foundation. The session was to enable us to network with the media and pitch stories regarding our work for children and families living with HIV.

It was a very informal session really – after a brief introduction of ourselves, it was more of a Q&A session for the reporters/journalists who attended the workshop. And then during the break, the reporters/journalists were given the opportunity to approach any one of us personally to ask more details.

It was a good session, really. I had to answer various questions from various reporters. I gave out quite a number of brochures and name cards, in exchange for their name cards – but by the time I got home and browsed through the name cards that I got, I couldn’t for the life of me match the cards to the many faces I saw during the session! But not to worry, if they do call me for follow up stories, all they have to do is introduce themselves…

There was another session after the break, and although I was invited to stay for lunch, I had already promised to meet up with someone at 12 pm – without having to drive elsewhere.

I promised to meet up with this guy…

That’s our Buddy Bear posing with my friend, Huggy Bear!

Yes, I had lunch with Kerp and Pinky (that’s Pinky’s hand in the picture – nice to have finally met you Pinky!).

No, I didn’t give the Buddy Bear to him – the handmade bears are only meant for HIV infected kids, remember? I just lent it to him to pose for a photo. (Hilang macho la bro!!!)

We lepak-ed for a while but I didn’t want to leave too late as I was anticipating heavy traffic heading north due to the long weekend.

OK, in my next posting I will tell why Jee called me in the morning. I got another call from her today with some updates, so stay tuned…

Busy busy busy

I have yet to visit any of my clients ever since my last visit during Ramadan. I can’t seem to find the time to do so - been busy doing I don’t know what! I think ever since my daily routine changed after my mother’s knee operation, I have yet to adjust myself to get back to my previous normal routine although my mother’s condition has improved a whole lot (dah keluar menebas dah… so what does that tell you?).

Yesterday Fuzi called me, just to ask me about the Paediatric Aids Fund (PAF) which she has yet to get for this month. I am only handling our Sponsorship Account for her children, so I wouldn’t be able to answer off hand about her PAF. The PAF is handled by Malaysian Aids Council.

I think Fuzi knew that, it’s just that she was finding an excuse to call me to wish me Selamat Hari Raya. She probably didn’t want to disturb me earlier because she knew I was busy.

Later yesterday a staff of the Perak Family Health Association (PFHA) called. A guy, infected with HIV, called up PFHA asking how to register with the Buddies as a client. You see, during our early stages, Buddies was a wing under the PFHA before we “grew up” and moved out to be on our own as an independent society registered with the Registrar of Societies.

The guy who called PFHA had been trying to call our center but since we don’t have any full time staff, nobody answered his call. (Usually we’d just give the hand phone number of one of our volunteers. We just recently got a new hotline number – a mobile number whereby the phone will be with any one of our Board members; but the number has not been widely distributed yet.)

I was driving when the PFHA staff called me, so I couldn’t take down the guy’s phone number. I just told her to get this guy to call me after half an hour.

Well, this guy gave me 45 minutes before he called. Majid sounded like a young guy (well, I have not met him but he does have a “young” voice!). He said he has been regularly going for appointments at the Ipoh HIV clinic for 2 years now but has never been referred to us during his appointments. Probably his earlier appointments never coincided with our clinic duties. He has heard about the Buddies, though, and was very much interested in getting our services.

Majid is not yet on medication, so I guess his CD4 count is still okay. From the tone of his voice, he didn’t sound depressed either. I guess he just wanted a friend he could easily talk to without fear of getting looked down upon.

I told him we’d usually want to meet up with our clients first before we assign any buddies to them, and he was agreeable to the idea of meeting up one of these days. I promised I’d call him back next week as I know I definitely won’t be able to find the time this week. This weekend is definitely out.

Whether Majid is really a young guy and whether he is really not depressed, I will only find out after I meet up with him…

Today while I was at a hypermarket (BUSY shopping!), SN called me from the HIV clinic. She needed a favour from me. Remember Zali whose wife left him and their 2 young kids? Well, he now needs to change to another regime for his ARV medication. Since the government only provides the first regime free, now that he is into his second regime, he will have to buy the ARV drugs on his own. Well, he hardly earns enough to buy food for himself and his kids (oh, let me rephrase that… he hardly earns anything at all!), how on earth is he supposed to buy those expensive ARV drugs?

SN had already called a particular association which does provide such assistance, but they would need Zali to go personally to their center together with the referral letter from the HIV clinic. But Zali doesn’t know where the place is even after given the address. So SN sought my help to assist Zali in this matter. No problemo, accompanying him to the association’s center is small matter. If I can’t go, I can always get a fellow volunteer to do so.

SN also told me about a few clients who have been missing their appointments. A few familiar names were given… ehem… either my clients or their husbands! And when SN called they wouldn’t answer the calls either – they probably recognized the number and wanted to avoid the anticipated babbling from SN! So SN is seeking my help to get hold of them.

Hmmm… does that mean it’s my turn to do the babbling?

How lah like this?

We finally managed to hold our Buddies group meeting last night. Unlike the Board meetings which are held on monthly basis to discuss more on administration and general matters, the group meetings are supposed to be held once every 2 months to specifically discuss matters pertaining to our PLHIV (People Living with HIV) clients. However for the past few months we have not had any group meetings as every time one is planned, there is always not enough volunteers able to attend due to other commitments. Ah, we are all busy working people, when this person is free, that person is not.

Each of us who attended the meeting last night had to report on our clients - but most of the other volunteers only had a short report to give. Somehow or rather I seem to get the more complicated (and dramatic!) cases so my reports tend to take a longer time.

The case I'd like to highlight this time is not a case I'm handling; but I've mentioned about Devi before as I met her during one of my clinic duties.

So, what's up with Devi?

In my earlier posting here, I mentioned that Devi was staying with a friend of hers. Well, the friend now wants her to move out as the friend's husband, who was earlier working outstation, would be coming back soon. Devi has been given until end of November to find herself a new home.

Devi had recently managed to get her EPF withdrawal of RM13K, but as of yesterday, she only had a balance of RM2K left in her account. Apparently she had been borrowing here and there, promising them she'd pay the money once she gets her EPF and so when the money came, the bulk of it was used to pay off her borrowings. I guess this is a case of dengar guruh di langit, air tempayan dicurahkan (or should it be dengar guruh di langit, kepala paip ditanggalkan? :)) - the money was not even in yet; but she was already spending them.

Never mind that. Now she has to find herself a new home. But she is not working, if we help her find a new place to stay in, how on earth is she going to pay for her rental? She'd be chased out in no time. The way I see her, I think she should be able to work - maybe as a cleaner or any other suitable jobs. But in her mind, she is too weak to work.

One of my fellow volunteers had actually managed to get a good offer for her. Someone who had recently opened an Old Folks Home had agreed to offer her a stay-in job at the home. He even allowed her to bring her 2 sons along to stay with her at the home. But Devi turned down the offer! Can you believe it? She wants a house nearer to her present place. I can understand that if she's working somewhere there, or if her children are schooling there but she's not working and her children aren't schooling! We offered to help the older boy to go back to school, but the boy doesn't want to go back to school. He said he helps out his grandmother from time to time "when he feels like it". Adoi, susahlah ini macam, we are thinking about their future but they don't seem bothered at all.

Just recently another volunteer had arranged for her employers to contribute some Deepavali goodies to poor families under our care. Devi was one of the recipients. When Devi came to our center to receive the goodies, the volunteer did ask her what else she needed. And Devi's answer to that was, "Boleh carikan saya rumah?" And my friend immediately responded with "HAAA?!" My friend then asked her, "Habis, kerja macam mana?" Devi just kept quiet. She wants a home, not a job.

We volunteers have to work to cari makan, and the people we are voluntarily helping actually expect necessities to bergolek their way? How lah like that?

People say beggars can't be choosy - but this one seem to think she can!

We decided to let things be first. Maybe when Devi becomes more desperate (when she runs out of money and when it's time to leave the present house) she would accept our suggestions.

On another note, here's an update on Yah - who is not only getting on my nerves, she seems to be getting on other people's nerves as well. Before this I've mentioned about her sleeping around with guys without telling them she's HIV positive. This time around, she got on Fuzi's nerves.

Apparently during our Family Day in August when Yah and Fuzi met, Fuzi must have told Yah about the friend who's helping her to settle her daughter's problem in getting her MyKad done. For whatever reasons, Yah asked for the friend's phone number and Fuzi actually gave her the number.

Yah did call up Fuzi's friend. That's quite okay I guess, otherwise what's the point of Fuzi giving her the number kan? But what was totally unnecessary was that Yah actually told Fuzi's friend that Fuzi has HIV! What on earth was she trying to do? Just because she lost her job when her own in-laws told her last employer about her HIV infection, Yah is now seeking revenge on other PLHIVs?! Is she getting to be a sicko?!

I'm losing my patience lah with this woman.

Sabar Pi, sabar...

Various updates

I was in my office last week when a call came from an unfamiliar number. I thought it was another one of those unwanted calls from unwelcome marketers but most of the time those unwanted calls are from KL/Selangor mobile numbers. This one came from a northern mobile number so I just answered the call and heard a familiar voice saying, “Kak, saya ni.”

Even if I could not recognize the voice, there was only one person I knew who would take for granted I’d know who “saya” was. It was none other than Yah, who has changed her number for the umpteenth time. No wonder she didn’t reply my Raya message. I bet she will change her number again in no time so I guess I will have to wait for her to call me each time instead of me calling her.

Yah: “Kak dah tak masuk dah ke duit yang Kak selalu masukkan tiap-tiap bulan tu?”
Me: “Duit apa? Mana ada saya masukkan duit tiap-tiap bulan?”
Yah: “Alaa… duit yang Kak masukkan dalam Giro saya tu…”

Haiya… ini orang… I told her many times before that the contribution was from an anonymous donor who’d bank in direct into her account – I don’t even know how much is banked in every month, and she’s asking ME if I had stopped banking in the money?

I guess since Yah had lost her job again (remember my earlier posting about her outlaw in-laws telling her employer about her HIV – causing her to lose her last job?) she’s depending on the monthly welfare aid and the contribution from the anonymous donor. I asked her when the last amount was banked in – thinking it must have been quite some time since the last one. She said the last one was in September. September?! October is not over yet and she’s asking if the contribution has stopped? Adoii… I told her that maybe it’s just a bit later than usual and told her to be a bit more patient.

Hmmm… or did she overspend for Raya?

--------------------------------------------------

Last night I received a call from Pat, a fellow volunteer who stays in the same town as Hana. She was at the hospital with Hana at that time. Hana had actually called Pat earlier on Saturday when Pat was on her way to KL; telling Pat that her 8 year old daughter was ill. Pat promised to visit her once she came back from KL – and so yesterday right after she came back she immediately went to visit. Hana’s daughter was actually down with tonsillitis. Pat brought them to the district hospital where the daughter was eventually warded.

Remember in my earlier posting I mentioned about Hana asking me if she could claim from Socso for the accident that happened right before Raya causing her to break her arm? When I asked her earlier, she said the accident occurred on her way back from work. Well, last night when I asked her (Pat passed the phone to her so I could ask Hana direct) she said the accident occurred at home – AFTER she got back from work.

What actually happened was she fell at home due to the poor condition of her house. Whenever I visited her at home, she’d always let me in through the kitchen door which is downstairs. She wouldn’t dare let visitors go upstairs due to the poor condition – but she and her children would still sleep upstairs. The penghulu and some other jawatankuasa kampong promised they’d help to fix her house before Raya but to date nothing has been done. Right before Raya, one of the wooden planks gave in and Hana fell. Hana told me she “patah tangan” but last night when I spoke to Pat, it’s her shoulders that was injured.

The accident occurred about 3 weeks ago and Hana has not been going to work since then. And so she has not been earning anything this month. In other words, this month she’s broke and needs help. That was why Pat called me – so I could find possible ways of getting help for her.

Well, her children are under sponsorship, so schooling needs are already covered. I guess I’d better make a plan to visit her soon and bring along some groceries and whatever other household necessities to lessen her burden.

I will be attending a function in KL this Saturday, so I can’t possibly visit her then. Hmmm… maybe during Deepavali then? Maybe, I can’t confirm just yet…

Getting to know me?

“Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me…”


Remember this song? I’m not really the kind who remembers lyrics to any songs, but I do remember bits and pieces here and there, especially catchy songs like the ones in the movie Sound of Music.

So, what has this song got to do with my posting this time? Actually, I’ve been tagged. While I’m not the type who likes doing tags, how can I say no to Ahmad Kerpov, the bugger blogger who tagged me for this one.

Getting to know me it is… but getting to know ALL about me?? Naaah… I don’t think so!

Here are 15 things about me you may or may not already know…

#1. I’ve got taggophobia. Yep, I hate doing tags. Those who have been following this blog from the beginning would already know this by now. But not wanting to be a spoil sport, I still tend to oblige, albeit reluctantly. (Yo Kerpov, hang punya pasai aku buat jugak tau!)

#2. I don’t use lipstick. Lip balm yes, lip stick no. If you need a different colour for your lips, there’s something cheaper you can use. Use the lastik! The red/blue/purple/black colour on your lips will last longer I assure you. Not that I’ve used it before for my own lips… I prefer original colour.

#3. I’ve never been married (maybe men are put off by the lastik above…hehehe) but am not at all awkward with soalan-soalan cepumas like “anak berapa orang” and the likes. Of course when I was younger the soalan cepumas would be more of “Bila nak kawin?” and I’d usually just selamba-ly say, “Eh, dah hari tu. Tak dapat jemputan ke?” – causing the penyoal-penyoal cepumas to become speechless and thus, no further questions asked.

#4. Way back in primary school, I used to love to eat canned sardines. Every time I went to the nearby shop, the moment the guy saw me he’d ask, “Ikan sardin eh?” I assume that was how I managed to come up with my muka sardin and the ability to selamba-ly answer the soalan-soalan cepumas in #3 above.

#5. I am a serious joker. Seriously. With my muka sardin acquired from #4 above, I am able to make jokes looking so serious. Those who don’t know me well may not know whether I am joking or not. People who meet me for the first time may think I am such a serious and garang person.

#6. I was born in 1382. Serious. No joke. I swear!

#7. I have a “deadly stare” many people are scared of. This ability/disability was very handy in school particularly when I was in form 6 and became the headgirl. I didn’t really have to say anything whenever the students did anything wrong. I just stared at them and they got the message. There was once when a girl got ill and needed a prefect to bring her to the sickbay. Her dorm-mates came to my room (the only prefect’s room at that particular block) to look for a prefect and since my other room-mates were not around; I had to attend to this girl. The moment I got to the dorm, the dorm-mates went to the girl (who was lying weak in bed) and told her, “Jom! Kak Pi dah datang.” That very instant, the girl sat straight up and exclaimed, “KAK PI??!!!” See… she didn’t need any medicine. A serious-looking headgirl was enough to scare the germs out of her.

#8. Despite my muka sardin, I am lousy at acting. Am definitely not an insan seni I know. The only time my acting made an impact was in form three. That too because all I had to do was to be myself – it was a mock fairytale and my role was as the wicked witch.

#9. I was very active in sports during my school days. I was a school hockey player and a school runner (but I did not run away from school). Being active in sports was one way to get out of the school gates more often – having matches in other schools, jogging at the lake gardens for our training etc. Yep, in shorts and all but tak sexy langsung!

#10. I was also a school debater. That was another way to get out of the school gates often, only this time in more proper attire.

#11. People often think I’m either a teacher or an ustazah. Once at a petrol station, the pump attendant came over to my car and asked, “Nak isi berapa cikgu?” Another time I was at the market and the chicken seller asked, “Tak mengajar ke hari ni cikgu?” Then there was another time at the hospital, the nurse asked, “Ustazah ni cari siapa?” Of course, these people are not aware how separuh tiang I am.

#12. I must have been a fan of weightlifting events when I was small. I used to put both my hands behind by head and say “APECHI”! (that’s a budak pelat’s version of angkat besi, by the way…)

#13. After my STPM, I applied to do either law or mass communication. I was offered something else instead and that was how I ended up as a qualified company secretary. All is not lost though. They wouldn’t offer me law, I became a loyar buruk. They wouldn’t offer me mass communication; I am doing my own communication with the masses through this blog. I still achieved my ambition.

#14. I don’t easily give up but I do tend to easily give in. Heck! How did you think I ended up doing this tag?!

#15. I hate doing tags. Hmmm… have I mentioned that already? Of course I have. I am purposely ending this with the same fact just to remind readers of my taggophobia.


So, there you have them! As always, I am not tagging anybody else. But if any of you readers are interested to do this, please tag yourselves!

And ohh, before I forget, for #6 above, please refer the Hijri calendar, ok? I am not antique yet and I certainly don't belong to any museum.