3 different ladies, 3 different stories

I was on clinic duty again today. This time in Ipoh. And this time alhamdulillah I managed to get a parking space without having to go 3 or 4 rounds around the hospital.

After notifying the nurse that I was already there, and was told that there was supposed to be one new case, I headed straight to the counselling room. The room is shared between 3 different groups – us Buddies as support group, the pharmacists giving counselling to HIV patients and pharmacists giving counselling to patients with heart/hypertension/diabetic problems. I’m not quite sure what kind of work was being done on the rooftop, but there were sounds of drilling and knocking right above our heads. The pharmacists had to speak louder to the patients and so the room today was rather noisy.

Well, I ended up not seeing any new PLHIVs today. The supposedly new case wasn’t really a new case but one that was just transferred to Ipoh from elsewhere.

But I did meet 3 of my old clients today as they were there for their appointments. The good thing about sharing a room with the pharmacists giving counselling is that all the PLHIVs would have to go to the counselling room to see the pharmacists, and so I’d know if any of my clients were there.

Lady #1:

The first familiar face I saw was Nuri’s. Somehow she looked even skinnier than the last time I saw her. I took the opportunity to have a chat with her while she was waiting for her turn to talk to the pharmacists.

Nuri had always been the quiet type and never wanting to join our activities. I had wanted her to get to know the other PLHIVs but she never seemed interested. So after helping to arrange for some financial help for her initially, our contacts after that were more of phone calls once in a while… and if I so happen to be on duty on her appointment day, then maybe we’d bump into each other.

Nuri has a child who’s HIV positive. Nuri herself knew about her HIV after her husband died and so no, precautions were not taken when she was carrying her youngest child. So now, both of them need to come for Ipoh for their appointments – Nuri at the ID clinic and daughter Farah at the paed’s clinic. It has been a long while since I last saw Farah. She was just a small girl then… so I was rather shocked today when Nuri told me that Farah will be in form one next year! My, how time flies!

Nuri makes a living by opening a food stall outside a school near her place. Business is okay during school days, but no school means no business. So during the school holidays, there’s no business. For the moment, since SPM is still going on, she still opens her stall, but once SPM ends, there’ll be no business for her until school reopens. I asked her if she can afford to buy her children’s  stuff using her savings first. “Entahlah kak,” came the answer. Well, if she can’t, then I’d need to bring them shopping. We agreed that maybe we should meet at a nearby town, and then I’d take them shopping before sending them home.

Lady #2:

The next familiar face that I saw today? Anyone remembers Yah… the lady who had “starred” in many of my blog postings before this, particularly in 2007/2008? Yep, it was her. For those who may have just started reading this blog recently, when I first met Yah, her husband was still alive. She found out about her HIV infection when she was pregnant. Her late husband, Azman, had some mental problems as well and so it wasn’t easy for Yah. But I must say she was quite a tough lady – strong and determined. Then after Azman died, Yah had problems with her in-laws who behaved like out-laws, trying to take control not only of her late husband’s house (and whatever properties inside the house) but also her children! Yah ended up having to “run away” from the house at her husband’s kampong, back to the home of her own parents up north of Perak.

Yah then started to change after she met Mr Darling (for the history of how the nickname Mr Darling came about, please click here). After spending a night at the home of Mr D’s mother, Yah somehow turned “angau” and fell head over heels over Mr D. As a matter of fact, it came to a point where she somewhat started “stalking” Mr D (although I must say, serves him right!). Well, you’ve got to read back all the old postings (esp 2007 postings) to find out whatever happened but suffice to say, Mr D (who is the ex-husband of another client of mine, Lin) is now married to somebody else and as far as I know, they are no longer in touch with each other (otherwise you’d probably be reading another “drama swasta” posting from me… about Mr D’s wife having a wrestling match with Yah!). For a number of years even her 2 older daughters stayed at an orphanage, at their own request.

Well, today when I met Yah, she was wearing her tudung (otherwise before this sometimes she’d wear the tudung, sometimes tudung melayang… and during one Family Day, she hurriedly took out a scarf from her bag, wore it, and mentioned to another PLHIV sitting beside her, “Takut nanti K.Afizah marah!” Ada ka patut? Takut kat orang pulak whereas I never said anything to her about her dressing or anything personal…

Yah now has a permanent job at a factory and all her children are staying with her, including the 2 who had earlier requested to stay at an orphanage. To me it’s a good indication – the fact that they themselves wanted to stay with her now may probably mean that Yah has changed. Kak Long, the eldest girl, sat for her UPSR recently and managed to get 2A’s, 2B’s and 1C. Not bad, especially the fact that the subjects which she scored A’s were Maths and Science! Kak Ngah, and Abang Chik, although both are in standard 4 this year, are in different classes. Angah in a normal class while Abang Chik has to join a class for special children. (btw, they aren’t twins but born in the same year, one in March while the other in December.) Abang Chik, who had earlier joined the normal classes (for he looked nromal), finally was sent to the special class for special children. He was somewhat rather hyper and wouldn’t listen to anyone at all, giving problems to his teachers. I’m not sure what exactly Abang Chik is suffering from, but Yah just said that “Abang Chik kena masuk kelas OKU.”  I suspect ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

Well, Angah had always been doing well in school, got second in her recent exams, while Abang Chik, who was always at the bottom of his class previously, managed to get second in his special class. Yah’s youngest, Aini, who was just a baby when I used to visit them, will already be 5 next year! Yah’s late mother used to tell Aini to call me “mama” everytime I went to visit… simply because I regularly became the “milk supplier” for her. (aiyo, not my own milk la… ini kes lembu punya susu, si Pi dapat nama…) Well, I bet Aini doesn’t remember me at all now, for she was hardly 2 years old the last time I saw her.

Whatever it is, since all her children are back with her, I will arrange for CEF for her children’s back-to-school expenses. No doubt Yah is already working now, but she just started work recently, and she doesn’t earn much either. I may not agree with some of the things that Yah did, but her children must not be deprived of basic education at least.

Lady #3:

Right after Yah left the room, another lady came straight towards me and smiled. As I responded to her salam, I guess it looked obvious to her that I was trying to recall who she was. “Sayalah kak, *Ani!” (*bukan nama sebenar, of course) Ah, of course, Ani! It had been a long while since I last met her. In fact I had lost touch with her after my calls didn’t get through and after she defaulted her hospital appointments. After that I found out she had moved to her home state to stay with her mother (she was earlier staying at her husband’s kampong in Perak). Ani and her husband moved to her own mother’s kampong after her mother somehow suspected that her daughter may have been infected with HIV, and asked her directly to be honest with her. But Ani’s mother is very understanding, she did a lot of reading herself (she’s 65) to find out more about HIV/AIDS.

So why did she suspect that Ani was infected? You see, Ani’s present husband is her second husband. Her first husband died, and based on his background (IVDU) and the circumstances in which he died, Ani’s mother somehow suspected that he could have been HIV positive. Well, Ani herself only knew about her HIV status after she remarried, when she got pregnant. Now even her present husband is infected, but he is understanding enough and doesn’t blame her for it. But he told Ani not to tell his mother about it as his side of the family is not the open-minded type. Now that they stay with her mother who knows about their HIV status, at least Ani doesn’t feel so stressful anymore. That’s a load of burden off her shoulders.

But Ani & husband still comes to Ipoh for their appointments as the hospitals nearer to their place don’t have ID specialists. So now when the time comes for their appointment, they’d take the opportunity to balik kampong to her husband’s side of the family.

Well, those were the 3 ladies I met today. The ladies whom I had blogged about during my earlier blogging days. It was good to have met them again. They may not be doing too well financially, but at least they are a lot better than when their cases were initially referred to me. At least I can see that they are now heading towards the right direction, especially Yah whom I had almost given up on once…

Positive HIV vs. Positive Thinking

When someone from the Perak Family Health Association called me some time back, telling me that one HIV+ guy was interested in Buddies, I thought it was another case of a PLHIV looking for support. The guy, apparently got hold of one of our rather old brochures (when Buddies was still under the then PFHA), which was why the call went to the PFHA instead.

The lady from PFHA then gave my number to this guy, Majid. So when Majid called me, I arranged for us to meet up at the Buddies centre. I figured I’d need to meet him first before I decide whom to assign as his buddy.

Well, we met up at the centre, and we talked. Indeed, he was looking for a buddy. He figured if he becomes our client, he could participate in whatever events we organise for our clients.

But, after talking to him, I thought he was more suitable as a volunteer rather than a client. He was, after all, looking for activities to keep himself busy. He was also rather cool and calm, and being HIV positive himself, he should be able to understand the other PLHIVs better.

So I asked him if he’d consider becoming a volunteer instead. After explaining to him what we volunteers usually do, Majid agreed to become a volunteer. We didn’t take him in as a client at all. We took him in straight away as a buddy.

And so Majid became a volunteer. He joined us for visits, he joined us for our annual family day, he joined us for talks and exhibitions, and more importantly, he also joined us for clinic duties. And I must say he did a good job. He did seem rather quiet, but he listens well, and that’s good, because we need good listeners.

It has been more than a year now. Majid has already been confirmed as a volunteer and has already been given a few cases to handle on his own without the need of having a senior volunteer to supervise him.

Becoming a volunteer has done wonders for him. He seemed to be more confident with himself. Definitely by doing voluntary work, he managed to become a more positive thinking person. And guess what? His CD4 rose from about 600+ when he was first diagnosed to over 1,000 now… without even having to start on anti-retrovirals!

Most of the time, when people are diagnosed HIV positive, their thinking becomes negative, especially when they don’t get the necessary support. Their condition then easily deteriorates.

But if they instead choose to think positively, and act positively, like what Majid did, look what has become of him now!

I wish more PLHIVs would come forward and become volunteers. However, I know for a fact many of the lady PLHIVs under me are not ready to become volunteers… they still need help themselves to become independent!

Family Day: Observations on my clients…

Of the 94 total attendees for Sunday’s Family Day, 17 were volunteers while rest were the family members of 20 different clients – half of them mine. Out of the 20, 9 of them were single mothers (one of the ladies didn’t come though… only her 3 children came with their grandma because the client had to work); 3 were women who got HIV from their first husbands, then remarried and present husband tested negative (so far); 1 woman still married but husband didn’t bother to go for testing; 1 single father; 2 married men; 3 single men (one of them came with his sister) and one 14 year old HIV+ child who came with her aunt.

And while only (huh? ONLY??) 10 of them were my clients, I was happy to note that I recognised and knew the names of 9 of the other 10 clients. There was only one single HIV+ man whom I didn’t recognise because I had never met him before. Indeed it helped a lot that I knew them… with such a big group, if I didn’t know them, it would be difficult to know who was in our group and who was not. Even with the sign indicating that the hut was reserved for us Buddies, there were still a few outsiders who selamba-ly came, sat and put their things on the tables at the hut. Knowing pretty well they weren’t from our group, I just told them that the place was reserved.

But anyway, being an observer, here’s my observation of my clients who attended the Family Day on Sunday:

FUZI – A regular for our Family Day outings. Her children always look forward to the annual event. There was no problem for Fuzi to get along with the others. Only problem was her children were overly adventurous. The boys who caused panic when they went missing during the day were Fuzi’s 2 younger boys!

LIN – Her second time joining. She missed last year’s not because she didn’t want to join, but because she couldn’t. Lin came with her grown up daughters (in their early twenties) and the 2 younger ones, 15 year old boy and 13 year old girl. And being a close-knit family, they were enjoying the day together as a family. So Lin never worried about not having any other “gang” during the day’s events.

MARIA – Not a new client. I was first assigned to be her buddy when she was pregnant. The boy she gave birth to is now already 4 years old. Maria had always been the reserved and quiet type. After all these years, finally this year she indicated her interest to join our Family Day. But she had doubts. She asked who else was coming… to make sure she knew at least one of them. She asked if we’d mention anything about HIV during the day’s events. She specifically requested to follow me in my car when I told her that a few volunteers would be waiting at the bus station. Maria came to our Family Day this year together with her daughter. I tried introducing her to a few other female clients, but their conversations just went as far as “Tinggal kat mana?” Most of the time, Maria just went around the park with her daughter. Even when she was at our reserved hut, I didn’t see her chatting with anyone else. She just sat there quietly. Aduh… very very difficult for others to break the ice with her. And since I had so many others to attend to, I couldn’t be attending to Maria all the time!

ASIAH – Another old client but newcomer to the Family Day. However, unlike Maria, Asiah does talk to the other ladies. Her only problem all the while was that her husband never wanted to join and always told Asiah, “Tak payahlah pergi.” I’m not sure what made him change his mind this year, maybe he finally figured out that at least his children deserved to be given the chance to enjoy themselves once in a while. However, Asiah’s husband didn’t join us at our hut. He sat at a nearby hut until they went back. Oh well, at least it was a good enough start. Asiah finally got to join the event and got to meet and speak to the other HIV+ ladies.

SOFIE – Became my client last year but during last year’s Family Day at the National Stud Farm, she was bed-ridden and simply couldn’t join us. She just became my client at that time and her children weren’t too familiar with me yet, so they didn’t join either. Although this year was their first time at our event, they didn’t have any problems adjusting. Even Sofie herself joined her children in the pool and the walk around the park. Those who had seen her condition last year would probably never have thought she would be able to enjoy herself at the park this year!

MR & MRS K – They had joined our Family Day once before but due to all sorts of problems, didn’t join us for the past 2 years. Last year their youngest had to undergo a heart operation (hole-in-heart). The problem with this family was that they always seem to be in financial trouble. Even this year, Mrs K got her daughter to send me a text message to ask if I’d be sponsoring their bus fares to Ipoh to join the family day! I told them they would have to cough the fares up themselves as we’re already paying a significant amount of money per head for their entry into LWOT. Well they made it to Ipoh… and from what I saw, they enjoyed themselves on Sunday. I got to speak to Shah, their eldest son who also joined the family day this year. Shah had earlier this year said he wanted to go down south to work so he could help his family. Although I advised him to attend a 6-months course under Giat Mara, they (Shah & his parents) didn’t even bother to give it any second thoughts. But Shah is no longer working and when I asked him on Sunday if he didn’t intend to find himself a job, he said, “Entahlah, tanya ibulah. Ibu suruh dok rumah jaga adik.” Ah, after all those talk about getting a job down south, now all he does is babysit his younger sister? Why can’t Mr and Mrs K at least think of Shah’s future? Why can’t they think of any other options? What will become of the boy (he’s 19 this year) in future if all he does now is stay home to look after his younger sister? Adoi… why can’t they THINK?

HANA – Hana’s family joined our family day 2 years ago at Taiping Zoo. However they didn’t join us last year because Hana had to work on Sunday. This year again, Hana couldn’t join us, but I guess she felt guilty that the children would have to miss out all the fun simply because she had to work, this time she decided to send the children to join us, accompanied by their grandmother. At least she wasn’t being selfish.

MURNI – Murni started joining our Family Day last year (then she was still a new client) and by the looks of things, I think she may well be a regular to our annual event. This time even her husband came (he didn’t join last year but still let his wife join our activities without any restrictions).

ROSNAH – She once told me that she didn’t want to join activities involving other PLHIVs as she was afraid others may know of her status. As a matter of fact, she knew Shila (not my client) who stays in the same town. But when I extended her the invitation this year, she was one of the earlier ones to reply, asking me to book 2 places – for her and her daughter. And she didn’t seem to have any problems getting along with the others during the day, and even asked me to take pics of her at the various attractions at the park. I did notice however, that even though she came in her car with just her daughter, she didn’t offer to take Shila home despite them staying not far from each other.

RIN – My newest client and definitely a first timer to our Family Day. She came by car but since she didn’t know the way to LWOT, asked to join the group from the bus station to follow my car from behind. Since she only had 2 young children as passengers in her car, she even offered to take a few passengers from the other families. She got along well with the other clients and didn’t have any problems blending in with the rest.

Today, the following text message came in from Rin:

“Salam kak, apa khabar? Kesempitan ini saya nak ucapkan berbanyak terima kasih dan saya rasa terharu dengan sokongan Buddies. Di samping itu saya dapat kenalan baru. Harap dapat teruskan lagi di masa akan datang!”

For the first time, one of my clients actually sent me a text message to thank us. Not to say the others never thanked us, but usually they’d just say terima kasih at the end of the day when they were about to go home. That, and the fact that these families always look forward to the next family day, are good enough for us, really. But getting an additional thank you message 2 days after the event? That’s certainly an extra boost!

Staying in touch with the clients…

We’re already in the final week of February (already?!). I was looking through my log book (I have one book specifically for me to note down and scribble matters pertaining to Buddies), scribbling down things to be discussed in the coming Board meeting on Tuesday night, when I noticed that I had not been doing any house visits at all in February. Other than the month being shorter than the rest, there was also the CNY break when I decided to take a break for myself as well. Besides, basically all the children’s back-to-school expenses had been settled and so I didn’t really need to run around as much as I had to in December/January.

I did visit Azimah at the beginning of this month, but since she didn’t want me to visit her at home, I met up with her elsewhere in town.

I also met Asiah when she came to Ipoh for her blood test, but then again, it wasn’t a house visit. As a matter of fact, I have never visited Asiah at her home before. The last time I and 2 other volunteers went to visit her at her hometown, we met her in town, not at her home.

I met up with Halimah at the hospital, again not a house visit. While Halimah and her husband do not mind us Buddies visiting them at home, I have yet to do so. Halimah, along with Azimah, are my latest clients and I went to visit Azimah first as I consider her case more urgent. For the moment Halimah needs to come to Ipoh quite often for her appointments before she delivers her baby, I will probably only visit her at home after she delivers.

Other than the above, all other contacts with the PLHIV infected/affected families were either by calls or SMS.

Mrs K sent me a text message during the CNY break, asking me when I’d be visiting her at her new place. I had been keeping a distance from her ever since she tried time and again to borrow money from me, and I think she knew I got rather pissed off with her. I am only monitoring her children’s school bus fares, which are banked in direct into the account of the bus operator.

Shila too sent me a text message even though I am not her buddy… asking me if I was busy and if I had started work (after the CNY break). The moment I told her I was already at my office, she replied, “Tngah kerja. OK x nk gnggu.” Obviously it wasn’t any serious matter – she just wanted to chat with somebody. I have introduced the PLHIV women to each other, and told them to exchange contact numbers so they could call/SMS each other whenever they feel like chatting with somebody. But I guess sometimes they don’t get the replies from their felllow PLHIVs due to “habis credit”, so they end up contacting me instead.

Today Rosnah’s SMS came in – informing me of her new phone number. Sigh, why lah these people like to change their phone numbers so often? I bet most of the contact numbers of our PLHIV clients that are kept in the files at our centre are no longer valid! I personally have been using the very same number ever since I first started using the hand phone more than 15 years ago. The only change made was the change from 010 to 019 (the earlier one didn’t use SIM card) but the rest of the 7 digit numbers had remained the same.

Anyway, I intend to visit Lin and send this month’s supply of groceries to her before my office trip this Friday, so that will probably be my only house visit for the month.

There are quite a number of clients whom I have not contacted for quite some time – Ifa, Sha, Ani, Nuri, Suhaila, Maria amongst them. I’d better call them up to find out how they’re doing… but I think I’ll wait until I come back from my trip.

What about Yah? Oh forget it, I’d have to wait for her to call me – she changes phone numbers as often as she changes her clothes! (Ok, ok, I’m exaggerating of course, but really,  every time she calls it’d be from a different number…)

Busy calling calling...

For the past few days I've been making/receiving quite a number of phone calls to/from my PLHIV clients. Not forgetting a few replies to my earlier SMS on Wednesday last week regarding our coming family day.

After Murni became the first to confirm her attendance together with her 5 children, early the next morning, Mrs K replied my SMS - saying they would like to join too. They had missed last year's family day at the Taiping Zoo as we were not able to contact them then. (at that time Mr K had sent their phone to the kedai pajak gadai)

Later in the afternoon, while I was at Buddies Centre, Fuzi called. I have not spoken to her for quite some time now. She herself dared not call me too often after the 'lecture' I gave her - about simply waiting for others to do things for her instead of taking the initiative herself. Things had actually improved a whole lot for her family, and so I want her to be more independent. I will slowly pass her case to another volunteer, although I will still follow up on her from time to time. Since she will be joining the family day with all her 5 children, maybe I can introduce her to her new buddy on that day.

After Fuzi's call, I decided to call Sha. I didn't send her the standard SMS I sent to the rest because the last time I contacted her was Raya last year! You see, despite being rather paranoid during her pregnancy (due to listening to "advise" from unqualified people), after she gave birth, and after just a few visits from me, both at the hospital and at her home, she's a much calmer person now. Of course, it helps that her present husband, although negative, is very supportive of her. It's her ex-husband who's in denial and simply refused to go for blood tests. Since Sha is one of the less problematic ones, and I have so many other problematic clients, I would usually only check on Sha once in a while. In fact, the last time I went to visit her was when her baby was 10 months old. Now he's already 2 1/2 years old! And confirmed free of HIV! Anyway, Sha is interested to join the family day if she and her family doesn't have any other plans for the day.

After Sha, I called Jah. I knew Jah is the type who'd jump at the opportunity to jalan-jalan anywhere, and since she didn't reply my SMS, I decided to give her a call. As expected, "Credit habis kak, tak sempat top up lagi." And yes, as expected too, she does want to join the family day - no doubt about it.

Yah never replied my SMS. When I mentioned about it to my colleague who was also at the center, he told me that Yah changed her number yet again. And she never bothered to tell me about it? My colleague wanted to give me her number (she had called him earlier to seek some info regarding welfare matters), but I told him not to. If Yah really wanted to keep in touch with me, she'd inform me herself of her new number. Now that I no longer send her groceries and baby's needs, if she feels that I am no longer of any use to her and as such no necessity to give me her number, let her be.

I guess my colleague must have told her what I said. On Friday a call came in from an unfamiliar number. "Kak, saya ni." I knew immediately it was Yah. Nobody else introduces themselves as 'saya'. She wanted to tell me that she's interested to join the family day. And her children? Well, her 2 older children are still at the same orphanage while Abang Chik, the one and only son, is in the process of being sent to a "pusat pemulihan akhlak". A pusat pemulihan akhlak for a 9 year old boy?? Yah said he seemed to be getting naughtier and naughtier each day and a teacher is arranging for him to be sent to the so-called Pusat Pemulihan Akhlak, as claimed by Yah. Frankly I'm not too sure what to believe. Abang Chik had always been a hyperactive child and as suggested by one of my blog readers, he may be having some sort of ADHD, and so I did tell Yah to bring him for proper checkup. She never did.

But Yah said she will be joining the family day together with Aini, her youngest daughter who's now already 3 years old. I used to deliver diapers and milk powder to their home quite regularly when the girl was younger, to the extent that the girl's Tok Wan taught Aini to call me Mama! Well, this Mama hasn't met this baby of hers for so long, I doubt the girl would recognise me any more.

Later at night, Lin sent me a text message, to inform me that her daughter wanted to attend a "Teknik Menjawab Soalan UPSR" course in Ipoh and had been pestering Lin to call me to ask if the payment could be covered by our sponsorship programme. RM60 is a big amount if Lin has to fork out her own money. I told her as long as it's for her daughter's education, it should be covered.

I had already told Lin earlier about the family day, and most likely she and her children will attend because as she always told me, "Kalau harapkan saya, tak berjalanlah budak-budak ni." You see, when she was still married to Mr Darling, she was a full time housewife who stayed home almost all the time. So she simply doesn't know where or even how to bring her kids for jalan-jalan. Anyway, when I mentioned the town where we will be having our family day, Lin's 12 year old daughter wasn't sure whether she should believe me. Mention the town and the first and only thing that came to her mind was a mental hospital (ah, I bet now you know the town I'm talking about, kan?). And of course, it didn't help that her Makcik Afizah's facial expression doesn't change much whether she's serious or joking! The poor girl must be confused...

Sunday morning I went to visit Zainab. Since her phone had long time gone kaput, I couldn't call or SMS her. Thank goodness she stays in Ipoh, so I could just go and drop by her house. I couldn't check if she was home or not, so I simply redah - bringing with me some foodstuff for her kids, and an old phone of mine, which has some defects here and there but still usable to make/receive calls or send/receive text messages.

Too bad Zainab wasn't home. Only her hubby Zaki and the kids were home, so I didn't go in. I just talked to Zaki for a while outside the house. Zainab had to do overtime work - which is a good sign, really. I guess the economy is getting a bit better. Before this, the factory where she works had stopped overtime for a while. I told Zaki about the family day, and he promised he'd get Zainab to call me back (now that they've got a phone) once they can confirm if they're joining or not.

Well, so far, from my list of clients alone, I already have 10 adults (including sons/daughters past schooling age) and 18 children confirming their attendance. There are already enough people to make a family day even if clients of other volunteers don't intend to join. But what I noticed this time is that 4 of the babies I used to deal with quite a lot when they were younger (either visiting them at the hospital when they were born, or delivering babies' needs to their homes - keeping a close tab on them until they were confirmed free from HIV), now aged between 2 1/2 to 3 years old, will be joining. It will be some sort of gathering for 'my babies'.

Coincidentally, 'my babies' joining the event are 2 boys and 2 girls. Maybe I should be a matchmaker now, huh? ;) Better still, pair up Fuzi's 3 year old cute looking son with Yah's 3 year old cute looking daughter. Uh no... on second thoughts, better not... I may end up having to come up with my own version of "Ibu Mertuaku" script later on as Fuzi and Yah are not in good terms with each other... what more to berbesan... they perang besar you see...

Poor, woman, children, baby...

I was updating my list of PLHIV clients when I realised that I have not been in touch with quite a number of them for some time already. Frankly, since the Education Sponsorship Program started and became my baby, I had to spend more time on the Sponsorship program to ensure that all the recipients get their monthly sponsorship on time. It's a heavy responsibility handling the money the sponsors had entrusted us with, and I take that responsibility seriously. Takutlah handle duit orang!

Despite the heavy responsibility, I am still getting assigned to new clients. The HIV clinic coordinator started with, "Afizah, I am so sorry but I have no choice but to do this... I can't think of anybody else", then he handed me the contact report of the latest PLHIV I've been assigned to. No choice did he say? There are a few buddies with only 2 or 3 clients each and he said he had no choice but to pass this client to me? Ahh, must be a problematic client, I thought. I was right. Most of the cases handed to me are usually with rather similar backgrounds, with 4 major keywords - "poor", "woman", "children" and "baby".

Indeed, as I had expected, this new case is of a poor woman who has 4 schooling children and an 11 month old baby. The contact report was passed to me during our AGM last week but I haven't had the time to call her until yesterday. But yesterday when I called, there was no answer. So I thought I'd try again later today.

This morning while I was at my office, our hotline phone rang (I'm still holding the phone, will only pass it over to another board member during our meeting tonight). A lady was asking for a colleague of mine. She had tried my colleague's personal number but couldn't get through, so she tried the hotline number she got from our brochure. I asked who she was, and when she mentioned her name, ahhh... I thought... pucuk dicita ulam mendatang. The lady was Murni, the client I was trying to call yesterday. She said she was at the hospital, done with her blood test and took her supply of medication, and she was at the cafeteria. She had promised to pass some documents to my colleague whom she met during the last clinic, and so that was why she was trying to call him.

Since Murni was already in Ipoh, and work at the office is not too hectic (well, no deadlines for this week...), I decided to meet up with her myself. I told her to wait at the cafeteria and I'd be there in about 20 minutes. Off I drove to the hospital. But as always, getting to the hospital isn't so much of a problem, but getting a parking space was tough! I tried calling Murni, hoping to get her to wait for me somewhere that I need not park my car, but my calls didn't get through. Somehow at certain areas at the hospital, it's rather hard to get that particular 01_ line. When Murni called earlier, she called from a public phone, not her hand phone. Like it or not, I had to park my car somewhere. After 3 rounds of going round the hospital compounds, finally I got myself a parking space, albeit a bit far.

But I had another problem. Murni and I have never met each other before. I tried to call my colleague, hoping he'd be able to describe Murni to me, but like Murni, my calls to him too didn't get through. So, how was I supposed to recognise Murni? I was not about to make a scene at the cafeteria shouting out Murni's name...

Based on the contact report, I knew she had an 11 month old baby. Hoping that she'd bring her baby along, I started looking for those with babies around that age. But it's normal for people to bring their babies along to the hospital, and the cafeteria itself is very near the pediatric clinic. Aiyo... so how?

I looked around, and saw one lady holding a baby around that age with a small boy sitting in front of her. Somehow they looked like poor kampong folks and my gut instincts told me they must be the people I was looking for. So I went over to the table and asked, "Puan Murni?" And whaddaya know... my gut instinct was right! My first try and I got the right person. Even Murni was amused how I managed to single her out amongst the many people at the cafeteria.

The boy sitting in front of her was her 13 year old son who missed school today to accompany her to the hospital so that he could take care of the baby when Murni does her tests and all. The baby, a cute little not-much-fuss girl, is Murni's daughter from her second marriage.

Oh yes, Murni married twice. With her first husband, she had 5 children. The eldest who is 21, is married and stays in another state. The other 4, age ranging from 11 to 16, are all schooling. Murni's first husband died about 5 or 6 years ago. Murni didn't know much about what he died of... apparently her late husband's family were very secretive.

Less than 2 years ago, Murni remarried. Then she got pregnant, and that was when she found out about her HIV infection. Her present husband has been tested twice, both tests negative. Murni must have got the virus from her first husband.

Murni's present husband does odd jobs to make a living, earning between RM300 to RM400 a month. Even that is not fixed. It's more of an "ada kerja ada gaji" kinda job. No job means no pay. And with 4 schooling children plus a baby who cannot be breastfed by the mother, it's even tougher. Any money that comes in needs to be used to buy milk for the baby and food for the family. And not forgetting, to pay for their house rental of RM150 a month. I asked if the children's schooling needs had been settled. According to Murni, only the basics. Only the exercise books and whatever stationery needed for school. School uniforms, shoes and bags? Use the old ones. Fees or whatever payment they call it at the schools? They haven't paid a single sen. Yes, the school teachers had already asked for whatever payment, but at least they did not pester the kids for it.

Looks like another case to be considered for our Children Education Fund, and probably also for the Sponsorship program. I hope I can find more sponsors. Whatever it is, I will need to visit Murni at home and assess for myself her situation at home.

What about my other clients whom I had not contacted for some time? Well, I'd better contact them soon to find out how they're doing. And maybe it's time that a few of the less problematic ones be handed over to other volunteers as I may not be able to cope with too many of them under me now.

A double catch!

In my blog posting last Friday, I mentioned about a guy, Majid who called to seek our support service. I mentioned that Majid sounded like a young man, and that he didn't sound depressed. Since I was rather busy last week, I told him I'd call him this week so we could meet up.

Well, I called him on Wednesday asking if he'd be free yesterday afternoon. I intended to go to our center around 3.30 pm and I thought it would be a good idea for him to come to our center as another colleague of mine would also be at the center then. Majid agreed. He has flexi working hours and so it wasn't a problem for him to meet up during normal office hours.

So yesterday we met. Majid actually got to the center earlier than I did but my colleague was already there. No, I wasn't late - Majid was early. (tak nak kalah!)

I was right - Majid is a young chap in his twenties - young enough to call me makcik but he got rid of the 'mak' and called me 'cik' instead... (clever chap!) :) He wasn't depressed either, so yep, I was right again.

Of course, when he first found out about his HIV infection, he felt like dying. But he got over it fast enough, and soon, he was already leading a normal life.

Majid is actually a healthy young chap. He looks healthy, he feels healthy and nobody (not even himself) would ever guess that he has HIV. He was never involved with drugs. Yes, he did have unprotected sex a few times (two or three times he said) before this but those days are over. Even his CD4 count is still very high despite his HIV infection.

So, how did he find out about his HIV infection?

You see, early last year he went to the hospital to donate blood. After tests were done on his blood sample, the hospital authorities called him to inform him about the infection. Imagine how he felt at that time. He didn't want his family to know but he needed to talk to someone. I guess his first appointment at the HIV clinic did not coincide with our clinic duty and so SN did not refer him to us. He did get our brochure though, but wasn't sure how to go about contacting us. Yes, the contact number was there but I guess he simply didn't know how to take that first step.

He finally confided in his boss, who was understanding enough. Until now, his boss is the only one amongst his acquaintances who knows about his HIV status. His family, who stays in another state, is totally clueless. His house-mate (he's renting a house with another guy) doesn't know a thing either.

Well, he looks healthy, not yet on medication - so no reason for anyone to suspect anything. With his flexi working hours there's no need to tell anyone whenever he needed to go to the hospital for his appointments.

Majid is however still very much interested in our services. He wants to know more. He feels it is probably better for him if he gets involved in our activities.

After meeting up and talking to him yesterday, I felt he'd be better off as a volunteer rather than a client. All he wants anyway is activities to keep him busy. So I asked if he'd be interested to join us as a volunteer instead. And he agreed! Yayyyy!!!

So we got ourselves a double catch yesterday. We got a new volunteer - and a PLHIV at that!! Looks like our plan to start a peer support group is on track! I still need to present his application to the board for approval (just a formality really) but that shouldn't be a problem at all.