Visiting the house that was…

As mentioned in my previous posting, yesterday, together with a fellow volunteer and Mr R, a representative from a particular organisation, we went to visit Hana’s old house to assess if Mr R’s organisation would be willing to help out with the house repairs.

Initially, we planned to meet up at 3 pm, but yesterday morning itself, Mr R got a call requesting him to attend another function. We couldn’t simply cancel or postpone the visit, because Hana had arranged to take leave from work to be able to be home during our visit. So, it was decided that we meet up at 4 pm instead. But you know how it is to get away when you’re attending whatever functions… so we only finally made a move from Ipoh around 4.45 pm.

Just as we were leaving Ipoh, it rained… cats & dogs!! I was really hoping it would be dry at Hana’s place as it would be difficult to climb up to her old house in the rain. For one thing, it would be slippery and we wouldn’t want to injure ourselves in trying to help others…

As we exited the highway, I said, “Thank God it’s dry here.” Immediately it started to drizzle. Uh oh… I spoke too soon, didn’t I?

But no, it wasn’t raining when we reached Hana’s house but it looked like it would rain anytime. We headed straight to the house that Hana is renting, parked the car there, and up I went to call Hana so we could together go to the old house needing repairs.  The old house was less than 50 meters away anyway. While at first I confidently climbed up to get to the old house, halfway through I got a bit confused and I let Hana show the way. I could no longer recognise the house.

“Ni ha rumahnya,” said Hana. “Bahagian depannya pakcik saya dah tolong robohkan sebab dah jadi sarang penagih dadah.”

No wonder lah I couldn’t recognise the house!

The front section of the house was the one unfit for occupation. That was where Hana fell and broke her arm. Unable to afford repairs, they decided to rent a nearby house for safety reasons. So the old house was left empty. Apparently drug addicts seem to get along very well with empty houses, so the house finally became a “port” for the addicts. That was when Hana’s uncle decided to tear down the whole section.

The only section that’s left now is the kitchen section which is locked and so others can’t go in. Both Mr R and myself took some photos of the house. After a while it started raining and so we walked down and headed back to Hana’s rented house. Hana gave me the receipts of her purchases of the children’s schooling needs, plus the list of items which need to be bought at their school co-op at the end of this month. I was in a rush so I couldn’t really sit down to calculate everything. So based on what Hana told me, that the whole total was “Empat Ratus lebih”, I gave Hana RM400 and told her I’d transfer the balance into her bank account once I manage to calculate everything. She needed cash to buy a second pair of uniforms for her children (she was short of cash, so she had bought one pair each first). Next year even her youngest son will start schooling, so she has 3 of them with schooling needs.

By the time we left, it was raining… cats and dogs… again! Seemed like the rain was following us.

Anyway, Mr R told me to get a copy of the title of the land, and asked me to do a short write up, detailing Hana’s family background and needs. Hopefully I will be able to do that soon.

Various updates

I was in my office last week when a call came from an unfamiliar number. I thought it was another one of those unwanted calls from unwelcome marketers but most of the time those unwanted calls are from KL/Selangor mobile numbers. This one came from a northern mobile number so I just answered the call and heard a familiar voice saying, “Kak, saya ni.”

Even if I could not recognize the voice, there was only one person I knew who would take for granted I’d know who “saya” was. It was none other than Yah, who has changed her number for the umpteenth time. No wonder she didn’t reply my Raya message. I bet she will change her number again in no time so I guess I will have to wait for her to call me each time instead of me calling her.

Yah: “Kak dah tak masuk dah ke duit yang Kak selalu masukkan tiap-tiap bulan tu?”
Me: “Duit apa? Mana ada saya masukkan duit tiap-tiap bulan?”
Yah: “Alaa… duit yang Kak masukkan dalam Giro saya tu…”

Haiya… ini orang… I told her many times before that the contribution was from an anonymous donor who’d bank in direct into her account – I don’t even know how much is banked in every month, and she’s asking ME if I had stopped banking in the money?

I guess since Yah had lost her job again (remember my earlier posting about her outlaw in-laws telling her employer about her HIV – causing her to lose her last job?) she’s depending on the monthly welfare aid and the contribution from the anonymous donor. I asked her when the last amount was banked in – thinking it must have been quite some time since the last one. She said the last one was in September. September?! October is not over yet and she’s asking if the contribution has stopped? Adoii… I told her that maybe it’s just a bit later than usual and told her to be a bit more patient.

Hmmm… or did she overspend for Raya?

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Last night I received a call from Pat, a fellow volunteer who stays in the same town as Hana. She was at the hospital with Hana at that time. Hana had actually called Pat earlier on Saturday when Pat was on her way to KL; telling Pat that her 8 year old daughter was ill. Pat promised to visit her once she came back from KL – and so yesterday right after she came back she immediately went to visit. Hana’s daughter was actually down with tonsillitis. Pat brought them to the district hospital where the daughter was eventually warded.

Remember in my earlier posting I mentioned about Hana asking me if she could claim from Socso for the accident that happened right before Raya causing her to break her arm? When I asked her earlier, she said the accident occurred on her way back from work. Well, last night when I asked her (Pat passed the phone to her so I could ask Hana direct) she said the accident occurred at home – AFTER she got back from work.

What actually happened was she fell at home due to the poor condition of her house. Whenever I visited her at home, she’d always let me in through the kitchen door which is downstairs. She wouldn’t dare let visitors go upstairs due to the poor condition – but she and her children would still sleep upstairs. The penghulu and some other jawatankuasa kampong promised they’d help to fix her house before Raya but to date nothing has been done. Right before Raya, one of the wooden planks gave in and Hana fell. Hana told me she “patah tangan” but last night when I spoke to Pat, it’s her shoulders that was injured.

The accident occurred about 3 weeks ago and Hana has not been going to work since then. And so she has not been earning anything this month. In other words, this month she’s broke and needs help. That was why Pat called me – so I could find possible ways of getting help for her.

Well, her children are under sponsorship, so schooling needs are already covered. I guess I’d better make a plan to visit her soon and bring along some groceries and whatever other household necessities to lessen her burden.

I will be attending a function in KL this Saturday, so I can’t possibly visit her then. Hmmm… maybe during Deepavali then? Maybe, I can’t confirm just yet…

Blur!!

In my previous posting under the topic “When we help those in need…”, I mentioned that Hana had improved a lot in terms of independence and that she no longer needs to confide in me with all sorts of problems like she did when I first got to know her.

I guess I spoke a tad too soon. Maybe she had just been keeping things to herself. Maybe she thought Buddies would be able to help her out for every single problem that she has. Maybe she simply didn’t have any new problems… yet…

Last night, Pat, the fellow volunteer who stays in the same town as Hana, called me up. She just spoke to Hana and that woman was crying and crying, Pat didn’t know what to do.

Apparently Hana did a mistake at work (according to her just a small mistake, but that’s her version of the story; we don’t know for sure the real version at her workplace) and as a result her supervisor penalized her – not allowing her to do overtime for the next 3 months! That means she will be getting less income for the next 3 months. She had been depending on overtime all these while to earn more for the family.

Hana had always been rather “slow” in understanding what people tell her. Even when she was first diagnosed HIV positive, she didn’t really get it at first. I suppose the doctor and the nurse didn’t want to be too direct when breaking the news to her, so instead of going straight to the point saying “You got HIV”, they sort of delivered the news subtly. That’s what they always do so they should know better how to deliver the news.

But when Pat went to visit her initially, Hana was saying that the doctor told her she was NOT infected. Pat got confused, the fact that she was assigned as Hana’s main buddy was reason enough to believe that Hana was indeed infected. But Pat didn’t dare say otherwise to Hana. So she called me, and I called SN just to be sure what they had told Hana. SN said loud and clear that Hana was indeed positive and that she was told so. Either Hana was confused and didn’t understand or she was in denial.

So when Pat and I went to visit Hana the next time, I had no choice but to tell Hana straight in the face that she was confirmed positive. She cried.

There were also other things that Hana didn’t understand. When we told her we’d try to help her out with her children’s education and told her to fill in the form for each of her schooling children, she even filled in the form for her youngest son who is not even in kindergarten yet.

Now her 2 daughters are under the Education Sponsorship for Children program. I told her to list down her monthly expenses needed in relation to her children’s schooling needs. She wanted to give me the list when she came to Ipoh for her blood test last week, but since I couldn’t take time off to meet her at the hospital, I told her to pass the list to Pat.

Last night Pat got the list. It was quite an extensive list Pat couldn’t believe her eyes especially when she saw one particular item on the list. Other than the list of tuition fees, bus fares, uniforms and shoes for co curricular activities; also included in the list of needs was “Motosikal – RM2,500”.

Aiyo!! What was this woman thinking? I clearly stated to her to list down her children’s schooling needs, but a motorbike? Whoa… don’t go overboard lah woman!!

Funny thing was I remembered that her late husband, Rashid had a motorbike. And I remembered clearly asking her why she didn’t use the motorbike to go to work. Her answer was that she didn’t know how to ride a bike and so the bike was taken by her brother who stays elsewhere. Why would she want a motorbike now? Just got herself a license?

I guess it was just another case of Hana being blur. She probably thought just because we’re helping her out, we would spoil her rotten by giving her anything she’d ask for. Never mind, I guess I will just have to resort to another “direct to the point” talk the next time I meet her, not that Pat or myself have been using twists and turns all these while, but I just have to be more direct than direct – whatever that means!

What worried Pat even more was something else Hana told her. According to Hana, a few people purportedly from a bank came to visit her at home, saying that they will arrange to repair her house. They asked for her particulars such as her IC number etc, all of which she gave without question. When Pat asked her for details of who’d be paying for the repairs, who directed the bank officers to go to her house etc, all Hana said was, “Saya tak tahu.” Of course she didn’t know, she didn’t even ask. Even if she did ask, I doubt she’d understand. Blur and blank all the time!

We don’t know for sure yet what the visit was all about. Hopefully those people genuinely wanted to help her. But just to be sure, Pat told Hana to call her the next time those people come to visit so that Pat could go over and ask them herself. They may indeed repair the house but we sure don’t want Hana to get duped into signing an IOU letter instead! If that happens, Hana will call either Pat or myself and end up crying and crying again.

There is something else that’s bothering me about Hana. From the list of monthly expenses that she gave, most of the expenses were for her eldest daughter. And she also asked for milk for her 4 year old son despite me asking for the list of schooling needs for the other 2. There wasn’t much listed for her 9 year old daughter who has to walk to school. (We are still unable to find any bus/van drivers willing to take her although we already have sponsors). Hana didn’t seem to worry too much about that. She’s more concerned about the expenses needed by the older daughter.

This made me think… does Hana treat her 2nd child differently than the rest? I may not be a mother myself, but I have seen mothers who give preferential treatment to some of their children. Maybe she doesn’t like her 2nd child? She does have a motive. (Ah, does Pi sound like a P.I. now?) You see, her first child’s name comes with binti *her first husband*, her 3rd child’s name comes with bin *her 2nd husband*, while her 2nd child doesn’t even have a binti at all! (In other words, all her children don’t share the same father!) Even worse, the 2nd child’s birth cert was only done when the child was about to go to school.

I don’t really know the history behind the 2nd child’s birth, but I do suspect something amiss here. But it’s hard to get the facts from Hana and as such I don’t know for sure what’s going on in her mind.

Susahlah ini macam… Hana also blur... myself also blur already...

Ahh... another hectic week...

Although I don’t have to travel much like I did last week (for last week alone I spent over RM200 for petrol and another RM100 + for toll – and I only use a Kenari which doesn’t really consume as much petrol as the bigger cars!), this is still a hectic week for me.

You see, I didn’t come to the office for the whole of last week, and my partner is off for umrah from 2nd to 14th July, so there are lots of things to settle at the office. Although my office staffs know their jobs, there are certain things they cannot do – like signing the statutory documents. And somehow it is when both of us are not around, THAT is when our business clients ask for certified copies of whatever forms they need!

So, while a few of my PLWHA clients asked if they could see me this week, either I couldn’t oblige or I dared not commit.

Last week when Mrs. K called me, I told her I’d get back to her this week. Yesterday I sent her a text message, telling her that I am not able to do any house visits this month. I also told her about applying for help for baby K in IJN, and that I cannot help her about Mr. K’s personal problems.

But last night, Mrs. K’s daughter called, from a public phone, asking when I’d be visiting them as her mother needed to talk to me about her father’s problems. That meant they didn’t get my text message – and my guess is that their hand phone is going through the same process again... (as per my posting here). I suppose that was to be expected as Mrs. K did mention a bit about her husband’s problem when she called me last week.

When I told the daughter that I won’t be able to visit this month, she said her mother together with baby K will be coming to Ipoh GH on Thursday, so she asked if her mother can meet me then. I dared not promise anything, so I told her to get her mom to call me first when they are in Ipoh. If I’m free then, I’d try to meet them.

This morning after finishing my morning routine at home and as I was about to leave for work, I saw a text message on my hand phone. It was from Hana. She asked if I’d be going to the hospital today. If I was, she wanted to pass me the list of monthly expenses for her children, who are under sponsorship. I simply can’t afford to go this morning, as I am expecting someone at the office, so I told her to pass the list to Pat, a fellow volunteer who stays in the same town as Hana.

Back to Mrs. K, what seems to be Mr. K’s problem?

From the little bit told over the phone to me by Mrs. K last week, Mr. K seemed to have some problem with his previous employer. He used to work at a factory (as a jaga) and when there were some things missing, he was purportedly accused of stealing them. And so it seemed, the employer threatened to report him to the police if he did not pay up RM1,000. Scared he might end up in jail, he borrowed RM1,000 from a money lender to pay up. And the interest? RM200 a month!!

Well, at least that was what Mr. K CLAIMED had happened. Mrs. K believed him, but I am rather skeptical about the whole story.

Even if he was telling the truth, they had gone through the process of borrowing from an unauthorized money-lender before and so they should know how it’s like! All I can say is… TAK SERIK-SERIK!!! If he was not guilty, he shouldn’t have been afraid about being reported to the police. Report lah! Got proof or not?! Or did the employer make a statutory declaration based on hearsay?? (Hehehe…)

The last time they borrowed from the money-lender, we Buddies helped them with Mr. K’s EPF withdrawal, so they managed to settle the loan. The balance of the EPF withdrawal… I reminded them to spend on necessities, but did they listen? No, no, no!! They spent like they had loads of money. Now they are back to square one, they expect me to help them out? Sorry lah… Everybody makes mistakes I know, but when they don’t learn from their mistakes, we can’t be helping them out every time!

I will only help out if it has anything to do with the children’s schooling and baby K’s medical needs. If it is a problem Mr. K got himself into, then he himself will need to learn to face the consequences.

And so, if I do get to meet Mrs. K tomorrow, that is what I am going to tell her. I would have told her so last night if Mrs. K herself had called me, but since it was her daughter who called; I couldn’t lecture the 13 year old girl about her parents, could I?

Sigh…

Ahhh!! I am not going to crack my head thinking about their problems. My priority now is my own mother – that will not change!

House visits

I was in my office on Friday afternoon when a text message came in from Mrs K’s number. Usually, her daughter Nor would be the one to send me any text messages, but since she has gone to a boarding school, this time the text message was sent by Shah, Mrs. K’s eldest son.

Shah told me that his youngest sister’s milk powder was running low and he asked when I’d be coming. He said Nor would be home next week during the school holidays and so he thought I could come then. But during school holidays there’d be kenduris for me to attend, so no, I can’t visit them then. Since I’d be on clinic duty this coming Wednesday, I was thinking of visiting them later that day, after office hours. So I replied Shah’s SMS, asking if anyone would be home on Wednesday after work. The reply came back from Shah…

“Ibu kerja. Ayah dengan Shah ada kat rumah. Shah cuti atau ponteng sebab makcik nak datang.”

WHOA!! Now hold your horses, boy! I’m the coordinator for my NGO’s Children Education Fund and we’ve been working hard last year to materialize the Education Sponsorship for Children. And you want to make ME as an excuse to ponteng sekolah??? No way, boy, no way! Shah will be sitting for his SPM this year. No doubt he feels he has no hope at all in doing well in the exams, but that doesn’t mean he should give up altogether.

I told Shah not to miss school simply because I was coming. After all, Shah is usually home by 2 pm so he should be home by the time I reach their house. But I didn’t want to take any chances. I told him I’d try to visit on Sunday instead. His mother should be home then.

Hana too sent me a text message to thank me for the pocket money for her children. Her schooling children are under sponsorship and are eligible for pocket money every month. The credit should go to the sponsors, not me. I did tell Hana earlier to inform me if any money is needed for anything to do with her children’s schooling as the sponsorship should cover those as well. In the same message that Hana sent me, she mentioned about her eldest daughter needing to pay some things for her school sports and her monthly tuition. I thought I might as well visit Hana on the same day – on Sunday.

Actually my house lawn is due for mowing this week. That was why initially I didn’t plan to do any house visits over the weekend. But I didn’t want to risk Shah missing school because of my visit, so I might as well settle my house visits this weekend.

So today, after mowing the lawn (and after my bath of course!) , I immediately headed for Mrs. K’s house. I got there around 10 am. Mr. K’s father was also there so I had to be very careful with my words as he doesn’t know anything about his son being HIV infected. Mrs. K told me that Nor said she’d be coming home today when she heard I was coming. But I had a few more houses to go to and so I couldn’t wait. But it’s heartening to hear from Mr and Mrs K that Nor’s academic results have improved ever since she went to boarding school. They have exams every alternate week and so far Nor has been scoring 90+ for most of her subjects. Even for her worst subject, she scored 80+. That just shows that she can perform if given the opportunity. Last year she scored 2A’s and 3B’s for her UPSR despite having to miss school quite often to take care of her younger siblings.

I only stayed at their house for about 15 minutes or so. I then tried to call Lin to ask if she was home but she didn’t answer my call. Since her house is on the way, I still decided to drop by. I needed to pass her this month’s bus fares for her children. When I got to her house, her 17 year old son and her 11 year old daughter opened the door and told me that their mom was not around. For most of my other clients, I’d probably leave the bus fares with any of their older children. But knowing from Lin that her son smokes and sometimes takes his mother’s or sister’s money for whatever purposes without telling, I didn’t think it would be a good idea to leave the money with him. He may be tempted to use the money for other purposes instead. So I figured I might as well bank in the money into Lin’s bank account instead.

Next stop was supposed to be Hana’s house. But since Jah stays in the same town and I know for a fact she loves to go jalan-jalan anywhere, I told her I’d pick her up first before going to Hana’s house. After all, it would be a good idea to connect them both.

The moment I parked my car at the bottom of the hill, Jah asked which one was Hana’s house. And the moment I showed her Hana’s house, Jah screamed, “Alamak! Kita kena panjat bukit ke kak??!” Hehehe… you see, Jah, despite being the jovial type, is also a very ladylike sort of person, so climbing up the hill is considered “extreme” to her. But she managed. When Hana saw Jah, she started looking at Jah up and down. I was thinking maybe she didn’t like the idea of me bringing someone else with me. So I introduced Jah to her, telling her that Jah is her fellow PLWHA.

Actually the reason Hana was looking at Jah up and down was because she thought Jah looked familiar. After asking a few questions, apparently they found out that they had mutual school friends and they had actually met each other before way back during their school days. Such a small world indeed. Oh well, the town they’re staying in is a small town anyway…

So yeah, they hit it off quite well although Hana isn’t much of a talkative person. But with people like Jah, I think even those unable to talk would be tempted to talk! It’s not easy to see a smile on Hana’s face but today I actually saw her smile listening to Jah talking.

After leaving some money to Hana for her daughter’s tuition, we left. Hana needed to get some sleep as she’s on night shift this week, so we didn’t want to stay too long.

So off we went, this time I brought Jah for lunch before sending her back home. She of course was thrilled. Every time she comes to Ipoh she’d call me to ask if I was free to buy her lunch. This time I was in her hometown instead to buy her lunch.

I sent Jah home after lunch. Jah’s mother invited me in, so I obliged. Actually I wanted to go in even if she didn’t invite me. You see, Pi needed to pee… hehehe…

So yeah, I went to 4 of my client’s homes today but only managed meet 3 of them. It is the season where YB-wannabes are doing home visits for their campaigns. Today I was doing home visits too but nope, none of the election posters in the constituencies I visited today had my picture on them so I definitely was not campaigning lah… ;)

Yet another postponement...

When Fuzi’s case at the Mahkamah Syariah last month was postponed to this month, I was hoping she’d be able to settle the whole thing by this month. Unless and until she manages to legalize her Narathiwat marriage cert, her children’s citizenship status will be hanging. No doubt it’s clearly indicated in their birth certs that their father was a Malaysian, but since their father passed away before they were able to do their MyKad, their non-Malaysian mother will have to show a legal marriage cert to be able to confirm that the children are indeed Malaysians.

Well, today her case was supposed to be called. She had arranged for transportation since last week to make sure she wouldn’t be late like last month. She didn’t want her case to be postponed again.

And she wasn’t late. Neither was the guy who was helping her out. They were at the court early, hoping that the case would be called today.

But when they got there, Fuzi was instead asked why she didn’t come on the 20th of February. Her case was supposed to be on the 20th, not 25th!! Fuzi and the guy both confirmed that last month they were told the case was postponed to the 25th, but today they both saw in the register that her case was set on the 20th. Oh dear… how could such a mistake be made? Miscommunication?

So how now? Well, no choice but another postponement!! Poor Fuzi, now she has to wait until April.

On another note, her HIV+ child, Ijam, will have to start on medication soon. He will need to come for another blood test next month before they start giving him his daily dose of medication. It will have to be makan ubat, makan ubat, makan ubat every day without fail all his life from then on.

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Just now Pat called me to inform me about Hana being depressed. Hana was told to bring her son for another blood test. Although the earlier test was non-reactive, the doctor wants her to get him tested again just to be sure. Now Hana is worried her son may be infected. She has still not fully accepted the fact that she herself was infected, now she has to worry about her son. I really hope the son is not infected.

I’m not sure what exactly the doctor said to her, but one thing I know is that Hana usually doesn’t really understand what is being told to her. I will need to find out myself.

There are still many things about Hana I’m not too sure of, especially her past. She doesn’t seem to tell me the whole picture. Instead she only tells bits and pieces here and there. When her 2nd daughter was having problems with her friends in school, she just said she didn’t know why. But after seeing the child’s birth cert indicating “maklumat bapa tidak diketahui”, I suspected that was the problem. Another thing I noticed was that although the child was born in 1999, her registration was only done in 2006 when the girl already needed to go to school!

Hana’s first daughter had a different father’s name. She was the only child from Hana’s first marriage. Hana’s 3rd child, her only son, has a different father’s name. His father, Rashid, died on the 3rd day of Raya last year. The problem now is her 2nd child who doesn’t even have a father’s name in her birth cert.

Now I’ve got more questions playing in my mind. But it’s not easy getting information from Hana…