During the Q&A session of the talk I gave last week, the boys were the ones who mostly stood up to ask questions, while the girls preferred to ask me privately – both before and after the talk.
One of the questions asked before the talk started while I was chatting with the organizing committee was whether it was possible for a baby not getting infected if the mother has HIV. You see, they had watched this one Malay drama on TV and in that drama, although the mother was diagnosed HIV+ during her pregnancy, the baby, when born, was spared from the virus. So, they were wondering if such a thing was logical.
Another girl was asking if it would be better for pregnant HIV infected women to opt for abortion.
Obviously many still think that pregnant HIV+ women are sure to give birth to HIV+ babies.
So I told them about the necessary precautions that need to be taken to minimize the chances of infection – the pregnant mothers are to be given AZT (a type of drug to help suppress the virus), delivery must be caesarian and not normal delivery, and the mothers must not breastfeed the babies. And I told them about the HIV positive ladies I personally know who ALL gave birth to HIV negative children. (There’s Zainab, Fuzi, Yah, Sha, Zana, Anita, Ani…)
Usually, cases where the babies get infected are when the mothers’ HIV infection is not known during pregnancy. Most of the cases of infected children that I know of are those older than 7 years of age. I’m not sure, but probably at that time, pregnant women were not tested for HIV. Nuri and Lily only knew about their HIV when their youngest born were already 5 or 6 years old. It was definitely heartbreaking for them to find out that their children became victims as well.
Or there may also be cases where the mothers don’t go for proper check-ups during their pregnancy and as such their HIV status are not known. Zana almost fell into this category – it was an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and she didn’t want people to know about her pregnancy. Even the doctors at the HIV clinic were unaware of her pregnancy as she wore loose clothing to hide her pregnancy. It was only when she was chased out of her house that she had to seek my help to find a shelter home for her, and upon my insistence that she’d better tell me the whole truth if she wanted me to help her, that she finally admitted she was pregnant. And it was right on time too. She gave birth just 2 months later – to twins! (and nobody noticed her pregnancy earlier!)
Of course there may also be unfortunate cases like Fuzi’s 4th child, Ijam. Although her youngest child Iwan was spared from the virus, Ijam was not as lucky. When Fuzi went through all the tests during her pregnancy with Ijam, her HIV test came out negative. How could that be? My unprofessional guess is, the tests were done during the window period and as such, the HIV antibodies were not detected then.
And while we’re into the topic of the possibilities of babies getting infected from their mothers, we must remember that while chances are high that the babies would be infected if the necessary precautions are not taken, there is still that small possibility that even without taking the said precautions, the child would be spared. And there are indeed lucky ones out there who are spared.
Rose, for example, found out about her HIV infection only after her husband died, and only after she gave birth to her youngest son through normal delivery. Worse still, Rose had been breastfeeding him for almost a month. But yes, the lucky boy was spared. He is 12 this year and is free from the virus.
So folks, just because a mother’s HIV positive, don’t assume the child would be positive too. Just because a husband’s HIV positive, don’t assume the wife would be positive too.
The important thing is to learn the facts – don’t assume.
ASS-U-ME
The word doesn’t look so nice either… :)
One of the questions asked before the talk started while I was chatting with the organizing committee was whether it was possible for a baby not getting infected if the mother has HIV. You see, they had watched this one Malay drama on TV and in that drama, although the mother was diagnosed HIV+ during her pregnancy, the baby, when born, was spared from the virus. So, they were wondering if such a thing was logical.
Another girl was asking if it would be better for pregnant HIV infected women to opt for abortion.
Obviously many still think that pregnant HIV+ women are sure to give birth to HIV+ babies.
So I told them about the necessary precautions that need to be taken to minimize the chances of infection – the pregnant mothers are to be given AZT (a type of drug to help suppress the virus), delivery must be caesarian and not normal delivery, and the mothers must not breastfeed the babies. And I told them about the HIV positive ladies I personally know who ALL gave birth to HIV negative children. (There’s Zainab, Fuzi, Yah, Sha, Zana, Anita, Ani…)
Usually, cases where the babies get infected are when the mothers’ HIV infection is not known during pregnancy. Most of the cases of infected children that I know of are those older than 7 years of age. I’m not sure, but probably at that time, pregnant women were not tested for HIV. Nuri and Lily only knew about their HIV when their youngest born were already 5 or 6 years old. It was definitely heartbreaking for them to find out that their children became victims as well.
Or there may also be cases where the mothers don’t go for proper check-ups during their pregnancy and as such their HIV status are not known. Zana almost fell into this category – it was an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and she didn’t want people to know about her pregnancy. Even the doctors at the HIV clinic were unaware of her pregnancy as she wore loose clothing to hide her pregnancy. It was only when she was chased out of her house that she had to seek my help to find a shelter home for her, and upon my insistence that she’d better tell me the whole truth if she wanted me to help her, that she finally admitted she was pregnant. And it was right on time too. She gave birth just 2 months later – to twins! (and nobody noticed her pregnancy earlier!)
Of course there may also be unfortunate cases like Fuzi’s 4th child, Ijam. Although her youngest child Iwan was spared from the virus, Ijam was not as lucky. When Fuzi went through all the tests during her pregnancy with Ijam, her HIV test came out negative. How could that be? My unprofessional guess is, the tests were done during the window period and as such, the HIV antibodies were not detected then.
And while we’re into the topic of the possibilities of babies getting infected from their mothers, we must remember that while chances are high that the babies would be infected if the necessary precautions are not taken, there is still that small possibility that even without taking the said precautions, the child would be spared. And there are indeed lucky ones out there who are spared.
Rose, for example, found out about her HIV infection only after her husband died, and only after she gave birth to her youngest son through normal delivery. Worse still, Rose had been breastfeeding him for almost a month. But yes, the lucky boy was spared. He is 12 this year and is free from the virus.
So folks, just because a mother’s HIV positive, don’t assume the child would be positive too. Just because a husband’s HIV positive, don’t assume the wife would be positive too.
The important thing is to learn the facts – don’t assume.
ASS-U-ME
The word doesn’t look so nice either… :)
12 comments:
Hai Pi,
as usual you're an admirable lady with a big heart.Bless you Pi.
Your job is not easy but somehow you've got a natural gift of implementing them easily and coolly.You memang special.
Mamasita,
Alamak, kembang le pulak. Nasib baik I pakai loose clothing. Kalau tak, sendatlah baju I... :)
Sebenarnya sekarang ni tengah tak berapa nak cool. Al-kalam wal-kalibut kat office pun banyak kerja, voluntary work pun tengah banyak paperwork.
salam pi,
i like that "ass-u-me" :D
coincidently, doc tabib aka cap'n calicojack was also reflecting on making assumptions on his blog here:
http://captcalicojack.wordpress.com/
p.s. saya ni pembaca regular pi tapi sokmo kelu bila nak komen pasal hiv nih. tak tahu apa nak kata.
Komen Pak Malim kucing ray yg alim.
Pi,
I have a question, says the cat while holding a lotion. How does caesarian reduce the risk of infection, as compared to normal delivery, asks the cat while hopping into a lorry. Today, Pak Malim will learn a new thing, says the cat who is good for nothing.
Fulamak... Pak Malim speaking! says Pi Bani while going hiking.
Actually most mother-to-child HIV transmission occurs at birth, when the baby berlumuran dengan darah, kata Pi Bani sambil pakai baju merah. To prevent viral transmission, the Caesarian must be planned to take place before the start of labor and before the rupture of membranes, to reduce the baby's exposure to the mother's blood, says Pi Bani who's never caught in any flood.
Begitulah serba-sikit penerangan dari seorang yang bukan pakar, kata Pi Bani sambil membentang tikar.
kak Pi,
the qs they bombed you were rather the conventional type. what about the ones that we seldom hear in any forums? i certainly have some, but they might just put anyone in awkward position. but in the name of knowledge, sometimes you need to get to the bottom of it. the problem is, nak tanya pon malu. camna tu ya?
Kerp,
The fact that they were asking all the conventional questions only proves that many out there are still unaware of even the basic things about HIV.
Anyway, engko tau le pulak malu rupanya... hehehe...
Kalau rasa ada question yang you malu nak tanya sebab nanti semua orang tau you tanya apa, you can always direct the question to my email address personally. Kalau I reti jawab, I tolong jawab. Kalau I tak reti nak jawab, I ngaku aje la yang I tak reti.
hahaha...tannak la. malu. cukup la info yang kita dapat dari blog TWIST ni.
Kerp,
OK la... confirm Kerp ni pemalu sebenarnya... muahaha!!
Hi Pi, I've been a quiet follower of your blog. It's very uplifting when knowing there's actually someone who cares for HIV. I am HIV +ve myself. Was diagnosed 2 weeks before my engagement day. Was broken hearted, confused and full of guilts. But now, it has been 3 months after I was diagnosed and my fiance who later knew it, give a full support to me. The dilema that we are facing right now, is that we are getting married this coming June. with all the huha about the Jab agama Islam make it compulsory for the HIV test makes us panic a bit. What's next? We really want to make it happen. I've realise my mistake and both of us really love each other. We hope that we could find a loop to the lengthy procedures and of course we don't want our predicament made known to others.
I believes, there are many 'magnatic couples' out there... please, shed a light to us! really need help on this. Thanks a lot
KillingMeSoftly,
Hey, it's good to know you are sharing your experience in your blog. Aduh, you must be in a real dilemma. I am not really sure how it is with the mandatory testing and all, but I do know they (the jabatan agama) would call you for their so-called "counselling" (maybe lecturing is a better word) once they get the results of your HIV test. I assume your fiance's family doesn't know a thing. (neither does yours,I guess?)
I do know however that from amongst those who were found to be HIV positive during the mandatory testing, many of them proceeded with their marriage. Am not sure if their famiies are aware of the HIV status though.
Sorry, not much help, am I? But hey, keep in touch, ok?
thanks pi,
yeap, heard about the counselling /lecture thingy which encourage one not to proceed with the marriage. But that's not the worst part yet, I'm thinking how many people will be inform about my predicament.
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