Aduhai Ifa...

No, that's not a title of another song to compete with Mawi's "Aduh Saleha". That's actually the best I can come up with to summarize how I feel about Ifa right now.

As mentioned in my previous posting, I was going to meet up with Ifa aka Baby yesterday. I told her I would be free after 2.30pm and asked her to specify the place and time. She was the one who fixed it to be at 3.00pm at a particular place.

I got to the specified place 2 minutes before 3.00pm. I figured since Ifa was the one who wanted to see me so much, she should be there early. But I waited and waited, after 10 minutes Ifa was nowhere to be seen. Now, those who know me well would know how particular I am about punctuality. OK lah, give and take 5 to 10 minutes still acceptable. More than that, you'd better have a good excuse.

At 3.10pm I decided to call Ifa. Maybe she got stuck somewhere or something cropped up last minute and she hadn't had the opportunity to inform me. When she answered my call and I asked her where she was, her answer was, "Ifa kat rumah ni, tengah makan. Akak tunggu lah kejap ya?"

Waaa... banyak cantik lu punya muka!

I decided to go off elsewhere nearby to run some errands. I drove back 15 minutes later and she just arrived!

"Kenapa lambat sangat?" I asked.

"Tadi Ifa tengah makan."

"Ye lah, dah janji nak jumpa pukul 3 janganlah pukul 3 baru nak makan!"

(hehehe... nasiblah kena lecture dengan head prefect...)

Yesterday being a weekday, I figured either she took leave from work or she was no longer working.

Me: Cuti ke atau dah berhenti kerja?

Ifa: Dah berhenti.

Me: Kenapa?

Ifa: Ada masalah sikit.

Me: Masalah apa pulak?

Ifa: Hari tu Ifa kena tangkap khalwat.

Oh okay, so she got caught for khalwat.

HA?? Khal-WHAT??!!

Ifa was then staying at a rented house alone in the town where she used to work. She then wanted to move to Ipoh and needed to pack her things. So she got her boyfriend to help her out with the packing. After all the hard work done, she offered him to spend the night there. And that very same night, a few pegawai pencegah maksiat came over. The house she was staying in was a Malay neighborhood, so I suppose someone must have skodeng them. I bet that wasn't the first time Ifa's boyfriend spent the night at her house.

Anyway, after being called to the Pejabat Agama a few days later, they were told to get married by hook or by crook. Which is not really a problem since both of them are agreeable to it. The boyfriend had all along knew about Ifa's HIV but he still accepted Ifa. His family had no problems about him marrying Ifa (they don't know that Ifa is HIV infected). Ifa's mother and sisters had no problems about Ifa marrying this guy either.

So what's the problem? The problem is Ifa needs her father, as the wali, to sign the form. And while her father did not mengamuk upon hearing about Ifa being caught for khalwat, he refused to sign the required form to allow Ifa to marry this guy. Nobody could coax him - not Ifa's mom, not Ifa's siblings, not Ifa's uncle. To him, if he says something is white, that means it's white even though in reality it's actually yellow. If he says something is black, that means it's black even though in reality it's actually blue.

Besides the need to get her father to sign the form, Ifa also needs to get 2 male witnesses as well. Better if the witnesses are family members, or at least some friends will do. Just get those who know Ifa to become the witness. Ifa couldn't get anyone willing to become the witness either. Well, not that Ifa didn't have any male relatives or male friends; and it's not that they didn't want to help Ifa out. It's just that they didn't dare become the witness because they're scared of Ifa's father. Wow! This must be one fierce man!

Ifa has informed the kadi about her predicament. The kadi said Ifa and her boyfriend still need to get married before their khalwat case is heard in the syariah court. The pejabat kadi will write a letter to Ifa's father to get his consent, if he doesn't reply then the officers will go to meet him at his house, and if he still refuses, they will arrange for Ifa to get married through a wali hakim.

Both Ifa and her boyfriend also had to do a blood test of course. Although they both already know about Ifa's HIV status, the pejabat agama people don't. Oh I bet when they do get the result, Ifa and her boyfriend will both be called for a long counseling (read: lecture) session. So far her boyfriend's test results are negative, but he will have to do another test after 3 months since it is still within window period.

One good thing I noticed is that Ifa is no longer the crying and whining type like she used to be when I first knew her. But the thing that's bothering me now is what she does to release tension. Her friends coaxed her to join them at the disco. I think she's getting quite hooked to it already. No, not the disco, but the ecstasy pills she takes when at the disco!

Yes, Ifa admitted to me that she took ecstasy. Another thing about Ifa is that when she opens up to me, she tells all. No info held back - unlike some of my clients who'd only tell certain details when cornered.

I asked her if it occurred to her she may get caught in another raid - this time at the disco. Her answer? "Takde, disco ni kawasan Cina."

Woi girl! I was not talking about Jabatan Agama raid lah, I was talking about police raid! Ecstasy pills, remember?? First, she got caught for khalwat and now she's putting herself in danger of getting caught for taking ecstasy pills.

She hasn't even settled one problem yet, she's putting herself in another vulnerable situation. How I wish I can whack her head off to get some sense back into her. But really, is it her fault entirely?

Remember she had already at one time stopped taking drugs? She stayed at her parents' home but never got family support. She needed care and love but she was not getting any. So when she moved out to work in another town, and her boyfriend offered her love, without hesitation she accepted his love.

Then after this khalwat problem, her father still became a stumbling block. She got all stressed again. So she resorted to friends who brought her to the disco and gave her ecstasy pills. She felt better. All her problems out of her mind at least temporarily.

Aduhai Ifa...