THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Oh no, not again...

Remember some time in November last year, I blogged about how Mrs K tried to borrow money from me? She promised she'd pay me back when she gets her duit kutu. I didn't give in to her request for reasons I already mentioned here.

When I told her off, telling her to spend her money wisely on necessities only, I thought she wouldn't try to borrow from me anymore. Well, 2 days ago, I received a text message from her. Yep, she tried to borrow money again. This time with a longer mendayu-dayu SMS.

She said she took an advance of RM300 from her employer to bring Baby K to IJN last month. Mr K too took an advance but not much since he earns much less. After they came back from KL, Baby K got ill and so Mrs K took one week unpaid leave, leaving her with very little money to spend this month. The bus fares for her 2 schooling daughters have not been paid for the past 2 months and so she's scared the bus driver may not want to take them to school anymore. She also said sometimes she doesn't have enough to buy milk for Baby K. She promised she'd pay me back in early July when she comes to Ipoh. Besides, she said, it has been quite some time since she last met me, and so she "rindu pulak kat akak." Yeah, sure!

Frankly, I do believe she's having a hard time making ends meet. Having to spend quite a lot when they had to bring Baby K to IJN, and having to take unpaid leave for whole week, obviously she doesn't have much left to spend.

But I remember very well when she tried to borrow the last time, she promised to pay when she gets her duit kutu. Well, she was supposed to get her duit kutu in April, the month when she brought Baby K to IJN. If she had really got the money then, there was no need for her to take any advances from her employers to bring the little girl to KL. Unless of course, she borrowed from so many people, promising them to pay by April, and so when she got her duit kutu, she finished the whole amount immediately to pay off her debts. Maybe she didn't even get enough to pay off everyone. And I believe, chances are, if I had lent her some money back then, she wouldn't have paid me.

Now she's promising to pay me in July if I lend her some money. How she is going to get the money to pay me back, I don't know. Maybe borrow from somebody else.

I did get a bit pissed off with the way she worded her SMS this time.

"Sy mnta prtlngan k.zah utk mnylsaikan masalah sy." (She's the only person I know who calls me Kak Zah. Pandai-pandai sendiri je...)

Whoa! She's asking me to settle her financial problem? She gets herself into financial problem and expects somebody else to settle the problem for her? Banyak cantik!

Having said that, I am actually very concerned about her children's schooling. If their bus fares are not paid, and the bus driver refuses to take them to school, chances are they will miss school when they don't have anyone they can tumpang. Nope, not good at all! They need a better future and they must not be deprived of education.

They can easily qualify for our Children Education Fund to cover for their monthly bus fares, and Mrs K doesn't need to pay me back. But knowing Mr & Mrs K's poor financial management, is it advisable to pass the money to them in cash for them to pay the bus driver? Knowing them as the gali lubang, tutup lubang type (dig one hole in the ground and use the soil to cover another hole they dug before... the circle continues), I didn't think it was a good idea. They tend to use money meant for something else to pay for something else instead, thinking that they will be able to pay for the said necessity later... and then later end up not being able to pay for it. (am I making sense?)

And I am not willing to go to their house as early as 7 am or as late as 7 pm so I can pay the bus driver personally! They are after all, staying in another town, not in Ipoh.

After thinking things over, I figured one option is to bank in the money direct into the bus operator's bank account. So I sent a text message to Mrs K, asking her to give me the name and bank account number of the bus operator.

Well, I'm still waiting for her reply. Let's see how it goes, and let's see if she will still try to borrow money from me.

As for buying milk for Baby K, we did help them apply for MAC's Pediatric Aids Fund, which was approved and the money had been banked in monthly into Mrs K's bank account. May not be much, but should be sufficient to buy milk for the little girl. They must have used the money for something else, thinking they would be able to get money from elsewhere to buy the milk.

We want to help them become independent, not dependent on us. We tried getting them a cheaper place to stay in Ipoh, and jobs with higher pay. When they initially agreed to our suggestion, my colleague who went out of his way to apply for a cheap DBI flat for them to rent, actually got the application approved. But because by the time the application got approved, Mr K just got himself a job as a guard near their present home, although not paying much, they thought the additional income from Mr K was enough to cover their needs without having to move to a cheaper place. So they turned down the offer. Jual mahal!

Now they're struggling, they come back to us for help. When will they ever learn?

I wonder if they ever watch Bersamamu. Are they not aware that there are people out there who are worse off?


mamasita said...

Alahai Pi..macamana lah yer? I sense your frustration with some people's attitude..sabar yer dear..I know you have your limits but don't get too upset and stressed ok?

Just do what you it is you've tried very hard.
And never ever forget that you're one of the kindest person ever!

I am still sad to hear kesusahan Mr and Mrs K..I wish I had the spare cash to splash to others..
I ada some close relatives and friends yang selalu mintak tolong..otherwise nak jugak sedekah sikit pada Mr and Mrs K..
I nak sedekah ikhlas pada anak2 Mr and Mrs K boleh PI? Its not much email me yer? Thanks.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

they really put you in the spot la. but thats one good option without having to feel guilty later on. and that last bit was quite a puncher- there are thousands out there who are worse off. maybe you should remind them of that once in a while, Kak Zah.

elara said...

Asking to lend her money like that is really getting on one's nerves esp when it involves playing with emotions and all. To put up with ppl like that can make one's life becomes misery also. Nasib baik u have much greater objectives in the work you are doing otherwise ppl like me would just shy away from seeing her and keep her at bay...ipoh rumah murah...apa lah cerita ipoh skrg ni ya Pi, I grew up in govt quarter in sg. senam and went to primary school in cator avenue..mesti dah berubah wajah.

Pi Bani said...

Manalah tak frust, kita ni dok try to help them for the long term, but they themselves, no matter how much help they get, always use the help for short term. Bukannya we all tak pernah tolong sebelum ni, dah macam-macam dah, but they don't seem to know the meaning of serik. Payah, payah...

But not to worry, frust tu memang frust lah, but I'm not getting myself all stressed up because of it. InsyaAllah, buat masa ni, masih boleh lagi asingkan my personal life and my voluntary work.

Nanti I send you separate email ok?

Pi Bani said...

Kak Zah kepala hotak engkau! :)

Well yes, I may just give them a piece of my mind the next time I see them. Am not sure if they will absorb whatever I'm gonna say though. Silap-silap masuk angin keluar asap.

Pi Bani said...

Generally rumah kat Ipoh lagi mahal lah than the houses at the town where they are staying now. But what we did was to apply for the cheap DBI flats. Bukan senang nak dapat, banyak syarat. But we did manage to get the approval from DBI. Susah-susah dapat approval, depa sendiri pulak turn down. Tak ke menyusahkan namanya tu?

So, you used to stay in Sg Senam? Tak lah jauh dari Kg Kepayang. Memang dah berubah wajah. You dok quarters yang belah mana? Kalau yang depan FRU tu, habis dah kena roboh.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


kan dah kena sound dengan KAK PI!

ok seriously, the Ks need to be reminded constantly. tell her its always easy to borrow but when it comes to payback time, she herself will feel the pain.

elara said...

Pi, Saya duduk dulu kat govt quarters yg dekat dgn satu kuil bengali atas bukit and also not that far away from the army camp..division brapa tak lah teman ingat bebenor, tapi helicopter selalu landing masa dulu.

Pi Bani said...

I think I've reminded them a few times already la, tapi bukan senang nak ubah kalau dah terbiasa hutang sana-sini. Memang ramai yang I kenal, kalau jenis yang suka berhutang ni, tiap-tiap kali minta pinjam, janjilah macam-macam dari langit sampai ke bumi.

Kalau quarters yang dekat kuil tu memang dah kena roboh lah.