THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)
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Wednesday 17 September 2008

Naughty son, lousy mother?

Just as I had planned, today I went to visit Fuzi. It has been more than 3 months since my last visit to her house as compared to monthly visits previously. Fuzi is more independent now that she is getting sufficient financial assistance. The way I see it, she’s putting the financial assistance to good use.

Ijam, her infected son, seems to be doing okay. Unlike previously when it is so difficult to get him to take his HIV medication, nowadays it is already no big deal. Fuzi herself has been given the 3-in-1 pills instead of 3 different types of pills for her own HIV medication. She claims the new drug makes her feel nauseous.

Iwan, her youngest son, as usual, was the “jinak merpati” type – he’d smile at me from afar but wouldn’t come near.

Wani, Fuzi’s eldest daughter and Faiz, her son, were not home when I went to visit today. According to Fuzi, they went to town to buy some necessities.

Fuzi’s problem with her Narathiwat marriage cert looks as though will be solved soon, but not without having Fuzi to part with another huge chunk of money. But Fuzi doesn’t care – as long as things can be settled for the sake of her children, she’s willing to part with her savings.

Hmmm… looks like they are doing okay.

Or are they really?

I guess there are always problems for everyone. Fuzi’s main problem now is Faiz, her 10 year old son who always seem to be getting into trouble for being naughty. Just recently Fuzi had to pay for her neighbor’s car windscreen as they claimed Faiz was the one who threw stones at their car, breaking the windscreen. Faiz denied it, but Ijam saw his big brother doing it and told his mother the truth.

Last month, Faiz’s school teacher called Fuzi to school. Faiz and a few of his friends had to go through some counseling as they were caught smoking! Yes, these are 10 year olds and they were smoking cigarettes! I wonder where they got the cigarettes from.

Within the neighborhood, Faiz is now well known as the budak jahat. Anything goes missing, it’s his doing. Anything breaks, it’s his doing. Well, it may and it may not have been him being the culprit, but he is, I have to admit, a very naughty boy.

Nowadays the neighbors are accusing Fuzi of being a very lousy mother who doesn’t know how to bring up her son. It doesn’t matter that Fuzi has 4 other well-behaved children. Her 2 daughters are in fact very responsible children – and this was evident during the Deeparaya do held at my NGO center last year when they actually washed the dishes without having anyone telling them to. To them it was the right thing to do.

But no, the neighbors don’t seem to see the other well-behaved children Fuzi brought up. They only see the bad things done by Faiz. To them, of course Fuzi is to be blamed for Faiz’s bad behaviour… she is the “orang Indon yang kawin dengan orang kita di Siam… lepas lakinya meninggal boleh mengandung lagi… dia kata kena rogol… entah ya entah tidak… dah tu dapat HIV – memang sah dia yang jahat. Macam mana nak jaga anak!”

Well, the neighbors don’t know that Ijam too is infected. They don’t know that Fuzi had got the virus earlier – from her late husband. Fuzi doesn’t want to be telling people that part as it would mean talking bad about a dead person (her late husband) and exposing the fact that Ijam is infected. If they find out that Ijam too is infected, chances are the neighbors won’t let their children go anywhere near the poor boy.

Sigh…

But anyway, I brought along a hamper and a bagful of old storybooks for the children today. I know Fuzi’s children love books. And the hamper would make them happy too.

As I was driving back, I saw Wina and Faiz on a bicycle on their way home. They recognized my car from far and started waving frantically. I just honked to acknowledge.

It’s always nice to see the smile on the children’s faces.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Kak Pi,
Great. Just what we need. The typical, cynical, ideas when things go wrong.
But, when a 10 years old boy smoke, that needs a serious attention.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Pi, I don't know how and where you find the (mental) strength to do what you do. I wish I have half your dedication...

Speaking of mulut orang - berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. some people's mulut are so lancang when it comes to passing judgement...

Pi Bani said...

Akmal:
Definitely the boy needs serious attention. But alhamdulillah the teachers at his school are giving the needed support and are not being judgmental like Fuzi's neighbors.

Pi Bani said...

Kak Puteri:
Carrying out the voluntary has in itself helped to build me into a better person (or at least I hope I have become a better person lah...). When I see for myself the problems other people have to face, makes me feel so blessed and thankful.

About people being judgmental and mulut celupar, well, I guess selagi tak kena batang hidung sendiri, they will continue passing judgment on others!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

aisehmann...reminds me of young sazali lah. 'Bapak pecaya zali kan?", follows by an evil grin.

budak nakal tu biasa la kak pi. tapi org2 kampung ni pon satu, ikut sedap hati je nak menuduh. budak nakal yang lain can easily have a field day by going on a shop lifting spree and faiz sure to kena.

Pi Bani said...

Kerp:
Si Sazali tu adalah juga terover pampered by bapaknya. Si Faiz ni pulak I pun tak taulah apa masalahnya.

Yep, it's unfair that Faiz gets accused every time something goes missing. Dia memang berkawan dengan budak-budak nakal, but budak-budak nakal yang lain tak pulak kena tuduh. Agaknya mak bapak budak2 nakal lain dok tuduh Faiz yang ajar anak-anak depa jadi nakal. So siapa yang ajar Faiz then? Balik-balik Fuziiiii lah jugak yang kena...

Mat Salo said...

Things just don't make sense.. so you have to let it go sometimes. Take Faiz.. maybe he's just going thru' a phase. It's hard to be in their shoes.. As for being a 'black sheep' I know EXACTLY how that feels...

Agreed. Always nice to see a smile on children's faces. Nicer still when YOU had a hand in it.. :)

Pi Bani said...

Mat Salo:
Sometimes kids do things which they know will make people angry just for the sake of getting more attention. Maybe Fuzi had been paying more attention to the 2 younger boys... kesian punya pasal - one is HIV infected while the other is "fatherless". I pun tak taulah, but I do hope it is just a phase that Faiz is going thru and that he will one day make his mother proud.