THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Mother's Day Special

BREAKING NEWS: ALL MOTHERS ARE BANNED FROM THE KITCHEN ON SUNDAY 11TH MAY 2008!

Oh, come on... in appreciation of all the things our mothers have taught us, let's give 'em a break okay?

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My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"


My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me more LOGIC...
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."


My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION...
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL...
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT...
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY...
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS...
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM....
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER...
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY...
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE...
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION...
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY...
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

And last but not least...

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

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*from my email archives*


"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time-off. They are the great vacationless class."
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh -


To all mothers - YOU ARE A GEM!


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

12 comments:

Monster Mom said...

The last one is a classic rule!!!

Loved it Pi!!!

Akmal said...

The last one! Man...I'm feeling guilty already hahaha. I WAS a shy boy, cute, super naive, adorable, and all that good stuffs was me. Amacam, ada dengar bunyi bangkul terangkat tak? Hehehehe :)
Happy Mothers Day too all mothers. One sentence; you rock! :D

Pi Bani said...

Monster mom:
You waiting for justice for your children too? Hehe... I guess no matter what they do, depa lah racun, depa lah penawar!


Akmal:
Bakul mana pulaklah yang tercampak masuk dalam lif and naik sampai ke tingkat atas ni?! Wei... if you're wishing that when your time comes you're gonna have kids who are shy, cute, naive, adorable (mak aih, perasan sungguh!) and all the good stuff, well... good luck to you! But then again, are you sure it will be fun raising such well-behaved kids? Hahaha!

Kak Teh said...

pi bani, can I add one more thing?
My mother taught me about confusion:
gelaklah banyak2 nanti nangis!

Until now I am utterly confused.

Happy mother's day.

acciaccatura said...

salam kak pi,
LOL! guess i thought them all!
last but not least, the statement that will put a full stop to more questions, 'sebab mama 'mama'!'
hhaaahaaahaa....

acciaccatura said...

taught not thought, sorry.
wow, do i need to learn pulak!bftx

Pi Bani said...

Kak Teh:
Still utterly confused? Wow, so effective lah your mak ajar you jadi confused. LOL!

But that (gelak banyak2 nanti nangis) does happen doesn't it? Kids... bila tengah gang tu, play togeder-geder, laugh togeder-geder... then bila dah terlebih bergurau and sakat-menyakat, at the end of it nanti adalah yang menangis...

Pi Bani said...

Accia:
Kalau dah keluar, "Sebab mama, mama" tu kira dah tak tau apa lagi nak jawab lah. :)

And don't worry about the wrong spelling... we all do that sometimes!

U.Lee said...

Hi Pi Bani, love this post. Here's a smile for you too.
You stay easy and have a nice weekend, best regards, Lee.
One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around.

As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.

He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "what happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?"

"Yes," was his reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"

Pi Bani said...

Lee:
I guess a mother's job only gets noticed when she doesn't do it, eh? As in the story/joke shared, the mother cuti just for one day, everything haywire already!

maria a samad (kak ton) said...

Hi Pi.

I like this one:

To all mothers - YOU ARE A GEM!

Have a good rest today.

Happy Mother's Day...to us. :)

Pi Bani said...

Kak Ton:
Amboi... bab kata dia gem tu suka je! :)