In Loving Memory of Rose - A Recap

I was going through my old log book (to keep track of the progress of my HIV clients) and noticed that one of my earlier clients, Rose, died in May 2006. Yes, it has been 2 years and In Loving Memory of Rose was the first of my clients’ stories that I highlighted in this blog.

For this posting I’d like to share my notes on Rose, from the first day I was introduced to her until the last day of her life. (*I’ve omitted real names and place of stay.)

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15/2 – Was introduced to Rose at the HIV clinic.

5/3 – Went to Rose’s house with a few other Buddies but was told by neighbours that she was hospitalized. Immediately went to GH to visit her.

6/3 – Went to visit Rose again to check on her needs. Was informed she hadn’t been receiving her monthly financial aid from JKM since December. Children’s school fees and bus fares had not been paid. To help out in finding sponsors or get CEF for her children.

8/3 – Rose called to inform that she has been discharged.

15/3 – Called Rose to check on her condition. Was told she has hospital appointment on 20/3 and 28/3.

20/3 – Fetched Rose from GH, brought her to JKM and sent her home.

21/3 – Received call from Rose saying she has to be warded again. Fetched her and sent her to GH.

24/3 – Went to visit Rose at GH. Was informed that doctors had to prescribe her Warfarin.

27/3 – Visited Rose again. She was transferred to 8B.

31/3 – Visited Rose again.

3/4 – Visited Rose again. She seemed depressed after informed by doctors that her cancer had spread. Also met her sister, the one closest to her.

7/4 – Rose was discharged. Fetched her from GH and sent her to her sister’s house.

8/4 – Received call from Rose. She had to be warded again.

10/4 – Went to visit Rose. She was in excruciating pain.

13/4 – Went to visit Rose again. Met another sister of hers.

14/4 – Received call from Rose saying that she was discharged. This time her brother fetched her from the hospital.

17/4 – Received call from Rose. She needed help to bring her to GH the next day for her appointment.

18/4 – Fetched Rose and her sister from her sister’s house and brought them to the hospital.

25/4 – Received call from Rose at midnight asking for help to send her to the hospital the next morning as nobody else was willing. She couldn’t afford a taxi and too weak to go by bus. Told her I had a meeting the next morning and would only be able to send her in the afternoon. Since she had no other choice, she agreed.

26/4 – Went to fetch Rose in the afternoon. She seemed weak and in pain. Had to help her to the wheelchair and from the wheelchair into my car. Dropped by her sister’s house to fetch the sister so there’d be someone accompanying Rose while I park my car at the hospital.

28/4 – Went to visit Rose in the afternoon. She was in too much pain and couldn’t be bothered with her surroundings. Was informed by nurse on duty that they needed to see Rose’s family as they needed to transfer her to palliative care. Called Rose’s sis-in-law to inform her and asked her to get any family members to come to the hospital.

29/4 – Called to check on Rose’s condition. Her sister answered the phone. Was informed that Rose was most of the time sleeping and no longer talks to any of the family members – not even her children.

2/5 – Visited Rose at Palliative Care. She was sleeping. A relative of hers tried to wake her up but there was no response.

6/5 – Went to visit Rose. Again she was sleeping.

8/5 – Received call from Rose’s sister at 7.30 am to inform me that Rose had passed away.

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Noticed that during the early stages nothing was mentioned about her family members? And noticed that I went to visit her quite often? Well, I felt I needed to visit her often because she seldom had visitors. It was only after her condition worsened that I began to see her siblings… even then they didn’t visit her enough. They only gathered at the hospital after she was transferred to Palliative Care. By then Rose was unconscious most of the time.

So folks, don’t wait until your family members/friends are dying before you start showing them that you care. Don’t wait until it’s too late…

*Note: From the notes it may seem as though my life is all about my HIV clients. No, it's not usually like that - only for certain circumstances. In Rose's case, she needed all the support that she didn't seem to get from her family members.