THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Friday, 14 December 2007

Cure for angau needed, fast!

From the title of this posting, I bet you can already tell who the main star of today’s story is.

Yep, none other than Yah Ah Ngau…

As I had told you earlier, Yah was supposed to come to Ipoh GH for her blood test on the 13th of December. Due to the alarming results of her viral load test, SN sought my help to get Yah to see her on that day. SN wanted to find out if Yah had been taking her medication correctly and regularly.

Yah reminded me a few times that she wanted to see me on the day. She said she had some problems which she wanted to talk over with me. I told her I’d only be able to see her after 1 pm. It is a hectic time at the office now with deadlines to meet.

I was actually expecting Yah to call yesterday. So the moment I heard the James Bond ring tone, I assumed it was from Yah I didn’t check the name of the caller. But when I heard the voice at the other end, I knew the sweet voice I heard was not Yah’s. It was Asiah, who happened to be at the GH for her blood test too. Asiah is not my client but seemed comfortable talking to me. She called just to find out if I was at the hospital. Since I was busy at my office, she didn’t insist on seeing me… unlike the angau someone else…

About 11.30am, Yah sent me an SMS saying she was done with her blood test and her session with SN was also over. I told her to wait and that I’d pick her at the usual place at 1 pm. I was not about to leave my office early just because a PLWHA client wanted to see me unless it was a real emergency. And I don’t classify angau as an emergency case (unless it is a life and death situation… but hopefully Yah’s angauism will never reach that stage!)

Off I went to the hospital to fetch her at 1 pm. I had to go elsewhere at 2 pm so whatever she wanted to discuss with me would have to be discussed in the car on the way to the bus station where I was sending her. After all, when she insisted she needed to see me, she did mention she wouldn’t take any more than half an hour.

So there I was waiting for her to say something. She didn’t say anything. I guess she didn’t know where to start. I had to start off the conversation by asking about her children. Kak Long and Kak Ngah will be going to an orphanage at the beginning of next year as per their own request. Although there is no black and white yet on this matter, I was told it is almost as good as confirmed. And according to Yah, the people managing the orphanage told her that she need not bring anything for the kids. The orphanage will prepare everything for them. So, for the moment I’m taking out their names from the list of recipients of our Children’s Education Fund. However I told Yah to inform me if there are any changes.

Abang Chik too initially wanted to join his sisters, but knowing him, he wouldn’t last a day at the orphanage. Besides being a hyperactive child, he is also so manja with his Tok Wan.

Since Yah still did not mention anything about the problem she wanted to discuss with me, I asked her direct what the problem was.

Yah: “Apa lagi kak, masalah itu lah.”
Me: “Masalah itu tu apa? Pasal xxx (Mr Darling’s name)?”
Yah: “Ha’ah.”
Me: “Kenapa, dia kacau lagi ke?”
Yah: “Tak, dia dah tak talipon saya dah. Tapi sayalah yang tak boleh lupakan dia. Asyik teringat kat dia je. Cuba talipon dia tak dapat. Dia dah tukar nombor talipon.”
Me: “Kalau dia tukar nombor talipon, dia saja mengelaklah tu.”
Yah: “Saya cuba tanya kawan dia sorang tu tapi kawan dia pun tak tau nombor talipon baru dia.”
Me: “Laa… dah dia buat macam tu gi cari nombor talipon dia lagi buat apa?! Cuba-cubalah lupakan dia!”
Yah: “Habis macam mana saya nak buat ni kak? Saya TAK BOLEH lupakan dia.”

Adoii… kes parah! I had told her earlier not to layan him but Yah was stubborn. Her daughter had voiced out she didn’t like Yah befriending this guy, but Yah was stubborn. Now she can’t forget this guy, she expects me to come up with a solution?

I immediately switched to “ustazah” mode. Yah just looked down and kept quiet as I gave her a short lecture. I asked her to seek help from God and that she must not expect other people to solve her problem when she was the one who knowingly got into it in the first place. I told her she’s the one who must try to overcome the problem. I told her that when she seeks help from God, it must come sincerely from deep down inside her. She can’t expect me to wave a magic wand and then…. whoosh… she forgets him!

Just to be sure, I asked Yah again, what actually took place the night she slept over at the home of Mr. Darling’s mom.

Yah: “Nasib baik dia tak dapat apa dia nak.”
Me: “Dia nak apa?” (Playing innocent… kasi chan lah!)
Yah: “Dia nak tu lah.”

Oh okay, for those of you still playing innocent, Mr. Darling wanted to have sex with Yah. But Yah refused. Or so she claimed.

Hah! I had suspected from day one that Mr. Darling just wanted Yah to fulfill his sex desires! That’s it! Nothing more, nothing less. That was why he proposed to her the moment he found out Yah was a widow. I bet he would have proposed to any single PLWHA lady he met! He didn’t really want to get married; he just wanted to have sex! If he was really serious, he could have pestered Yah again for her hand in marriage. But no, since Yah refused to have sex with him, he didn’t proceed further! He instead changed his number so Yah could not contact him. I bet even if Yah did give in, he would have still disappeared after getting what he wanted. Cheh!

I am pissed off not just with Mr. Darling, but also with Yah. After all that, she still wants to get in touch with him. What the heck for? Obviously Mr. Darling didn’t really want her but now she’s the one who can’t get him out of her mind.

Out of sight, out of mind? Yeah, when he’s out of her sight, she’s out of her mind!! DUH!!

Anyway, on another note, Yah’s brother asked Yah to help him run his newly opened food stall in KL. Part of the working capital came from Yah’s EPF money. Yah’s mother is not too keen on the idea of Yah moving to KL.

To me personally, since she already has a share in it, she might as well help to run it as well. Hopefully with something keeping her busy, she can try get her mind off Mr. Darling. If she does decide to join her brother in KL, the 2 younger kids will not follow her. They have been staying with their Tok Wan since small, so Tok Wan will not let them go.

Frankly, the way Yah is behaving of late, I think it is best that the 2 older sisters go to the orphanage and the 2 younger kids stay with their Tok Wan.

Even as I dropped Yah off at the bus station, she told me she was not going home. She was sleeping over a female friend’s house in another town. “Runsing balik rumah!” so she said.

Oh dear, is this really the same Yah, the tough lady I knew earlier? Somehow she’s beginning to sound more and more like a troubled teenager.

Where have I failed?!


Akmal said...

Kak Pi,
You did nothing wrong kak. You gave her what you can, it is her life, and she is the one to decide what to do and what not to do. What you can do is only to give her a help in making decision, right? This is yet another case of women as sex tool, added up with of blind love. I cannot say more, got no experience with this stuff. Different people have their own way of love, I think, and this one is out of control.
You have a nice day.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

blaardeee irresponsible fella.

hey, since she first met this guy, i kinda knew what was coming. its written on all over the wall. but apparently angauism can cause temporary blindness too.

but couldnt blame her. lets just hope for better days ahead and get this mr romeo darling chapter of hers closed for good.

Pi Bani said...

If Yah had been immature since day one that I met her, I wouldn't be so disappointed. It is so frustrating when a tough lady like Yah suddenly change for the worse just because of good-for-nothing guy! I know I couldn't stop her from seeing this guy in the first place, but for a moment there I wish I had just piat telinga Yah suruh dia balik jangan jumpa Mr Darling ni!

I remember when I first brought up this Mr Darling story, so many of the commenters told me to let them be... they're adults... no reason to stop them... they can support each other... bla bla bla...

Inilah yang I tak nak sangat... balik-balik I jugak yang kena kacau.

Zawi said...

It takes two to tango. Both were at fault. The Romeo for wanting to experience a widow with HIV and Yah for longing for a husband.
The Romeo must have found a new target to pursue and left Yah behind.

waterlily said...

Kak PI,
Atas nama "cinta" si celik bisa jadi "buta"...C.I.N.T.A. -masih jua kabur2 akan definasinya.

Salam Aidiladha & Happy New Year. Moga teruskan kerja2 amal.


Kerp (Ph.D) said...

ok kak Pi, guilty as charged. i thought they would make good pals with something significant they have in common. they're both adults afterall, arent they? we gave him some benefit of a doubt but we were wrong.

eh, at least i know you're a very comfortable cushion i can lean on...hihi...

ruby ahmad said...

Pi dear,

Hey, Pi, you did nothing wrong. Mr Darling is a charmer (within that circle of lonely hearts lah)!!

Ya lah dia nak 'benda tu', he turned on his 'put on' charm to the hilt lah. Unsuspecting or lonely ladies would fall for it everytime. This is what Yah is suffering from. She could not differentiate between sincere intentions from 'dishonourable' intentions (using Lee's fav expression). Mr Darling had only the latter in his mind.

Pi, Yah's going to feel hurt for awhile believe me and nothing that you did wrong. Mr Darling is sure one smooth man with this circle of ladies (the lonely hearts).

Betul tu, keep her occupied with work. I really ketawa the way you wrote (turn on ustazah mode..ha ha)! Funny bebenor!

Btw, I met Kak Teh but inpromptu. Ynag planned by Jaflam dulu I tak dapat join pun.

Pi Bani said...

True, it takes two to tango. That's why I said I got pissed off with both Mr Darling and Yah. And even worse, si Yah ni even after dah tau perangau si romeo tu, she still wants to get in touch with him.

I pun kabur sikit definition CINTA ni. Yang I kenal CINTAN je... ;)

Pi Bani said...

Don't be too sure I'm such a comfortable cushion to lean on. Silap haribulan kena syarahan panjang nanti you yang tak tahan... ;)

Eh, I pun lonely heart jugak tau!! Tapi my lonely heart ni very keras punya jenis... tak mudah cair... hahaha!!!

Actually susah sikit I nak advise Yah on this matter. Tu yang tukar to ustazah mode terus... tak taulah dia boleh terima ke tidak. Tapi dia yang nak sangat jumpa I, so I bagi lah lecture seround!

hunnybunny said...

What is wrong with Yah actually? Why she changed out of sudden just because of a MAN? Is she very sure that man really likes or loves her? Poor musti ada sebab yang dia sorang je tau..

But kak pi U didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't felt horrible. Bior le dia kak pi, sok musti dia citer kat kak pi nape dia jadi gitu.

Allah akan sentiasa bersama umatNYA yang sabar.....

Nightwing said...

Helo Kak Pi,

Hope Yah will wake up and be her old self again.

The ball is now in her court...she has to make decisions and choices by one else can.

J.T. said...

Hi Pi

wow... what can I say about Yah? As others have already mentioned, she is lonely for a partner. Any guy who shows an interest is flattering enough for her to fall hard. Insincere ones will take advantage of her situation. She may have harboured hopes for a future with Mr Darling. With him out of her life so suddenly, he left her 'cold turkey'. So cruel.

As far as I can see, you did the best you could to 'protect' her but she is an adult and is ultimately responsible for her own actions.

Pi Bani said...

Actually even though I dah sound kat dia jangan layan mamat sorang ni, to her she just wanted to suka-suka. Dari suka-suka tu dia terus syok - asyik terbayang muka kawan tu je. Bila dia dah syok si mamat ni pulak mengelak.

If Yah doesn't wake up, I may have to strangle her... ;)

Yeah, I guess Yah loved the attention she got from Mr Darling initially. Despite warnings that he may not be serious, Yah wouldn't listen. Now dah frust menonggeng she comes to me for advise...

kina said...

See Kak Pi, you can be so many thing one... mode: as deem fit,

Mode in operation: Ustazah, police woman (the garang one), Matron... and the list goes on...

Jangan marah ye, nnt kena jual!!

I think Yah kena be kept close to the mother or you, so that she can be monitored. Broken hearts can do silliest thing ever.

Where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home?


Good Luck Kak Pi...

Pi Bani said...

So kira I ni Jill of all trades but master of none lah ye?

Anyway, Yah actually stays with her mother but of late macam tak tahan dok rumah. Lebih suka dok rumah kawan. Dah macam orang bujang le pulak... padahal anak dah 4!