Of sponsorship assessments and gaining trust

Usually on Thursday afternoons I'd be at my NGO center to check if there are any admin matters that need to be looked into. Only when I have to be elsewhere do I give it a miss; even then if I know there are matters needing my attention, I'd drop in another day.

You see, we don't have any full time or even part time staff at the center. That's why when there are letters or faxes, sometimes we only get to read them rather late. Worse, if the letters or faxes are last minute notices of meetings or workshops or the likes, by the time we get to read them, the deadline for confirmation or registration is already over. That's why I prefer correspondences via email. This I can check almost anywhere - at home, at the office, or even when I'm outstation.

Yesterday was Thursday - so yep, I was at my center again. There wasn't much needing my attention - most of the matters outstanding needed the attention of the treasurer.

So I decided to arrange for the house visits for sponsorship assessment purposes. We need to visit the homes of 2 of our clients to assess if their application for our Education Sponsorship for Children is justified. We'll be visiting Lin and Meng Lan. There has to be at least 2 committee members other than the buddy joining the visit. And since I'm Lin's buddy, I've got to bring along with me 2 other committee members although I'm heading the committee myself.

I told Meng Lan's buddy to call her informing her of our intended visit to make sure she'll be home on Sunday, the day we intend to visit. We don't want to end up visiting an empty home if we don't notify them. I myself called Lin. Initially I thought of visiting in the morning but Lin asked if it was possible to change it to the afternoon as she usually helps out at her brother's food stall in the mornings. She'd still make herself available if I couldn't change the time but that would mean less earnings for her, even though the amount is just a measly amount, the small amount matters. I promised to check first and get back to her later.

When I called my colleagues, apparently one of them will only be available after 2.30 pm, so I might as well arrange for the visit to be in the afternoon. I immediately sent a text message to Lin telling her that we'd be visiting her about 3 pm. When she noticed I was using the word "kami" instead of "saya", she replied, "Ramai ke datang? Apa halnya? Lawatan ke? Saya ni segan sikit dengan orang tak biasa. Tapi takpelah, datang la."

She must have forgotten that I told her earlier when she applied for the Sponsorship for her children, that WE would need to visit her at home to be considered for this programme.

I suppose from day one at the HIV Clinic when Lin was referred to us, she was initially reluctant to have a buddy because she didn't feel comfortable with "strangers" especially when these strangers know about her HIV status. I wasn't on clinic duty then but my colleagues who were on duty, gave her my number in case one day she needed someone to talk to. They figured I'd be the person Lin would be most comfortable with. In cases like this, we'd have to respect their decision and so we wouldn't make any follow up calls, unless and until they themselves seek our help.

Well, it took Lin more than a year to make that call. By then she was already divorced, and she was all stressed up with all sorts of problems that finally she called me to simply let things out of her bottled up system. Although Lin isn't usually comfortable with strangers, when we met the first time, we hit it off immediately despite being total strangers prior to that. Now that she's comfortable with me, she doesn't feel comfortable about having others tagging along with me. I guess she just doesn't feel too secure having unfamiliar faces around. But she did say "tapi takpelah, datang la" at the end of her message, so that means she has given the go ahead. After all, if she really trusts me, she'd have to believe that the friends coming along with me can be trusted too.

I know my PLHIV clients well enough to know who's comfortable with me alone and who wouldn't mind other visitors as long as they are from Buddies. I always respect their privacy. When I have to bring along others with me, I always get their permission first. In Lin's case, if she refuses then she'd have to forget about having her children being considered for sponsorship.

Maria is another one of my clients who, like Lin, is only comfortable with me, and me alone. But Maria for the moment only needs emotional and not financial support, so she is not involved in the sponsorship assessment visits. People like Zainab, Fuzi, Yah, Shila, Jah, Anita and Wani don't have any problems if I bring along other buddies when visiting them.

I guess people like Lin and Maria find it difficult to trust people. When they finally trust one person, that's good enough for them. Should anything happen to that one person, it will be difficult for others to take over.