Schooling opportunity

After a three day break from my voluntary work, today I went over to Lin’s house to send this month’s supply of groceries.

And since I wasn’t rushing to go anywhere else after that, today I had ample time to chat with Lin. And so we were chatting about herself and her past.

You know, all the while I thought Lin had at least completed her SPM. She’s quite a smart lady, I must say. The way she handles situations had been quite commendable.

Today I found out that Lin had only completed primary school. Well, she did go to form one for a short while despite her family’s financial difficulties. They couldn’t afford to buy her school uniform, so she used a pinafore handed to her by a neighbour. The pinafore was rather big for her, but having no other choice, she wore it anyway. As for the white blouse underneath the pinafore, Lin wore the same white (but no so white anymore) blouse she had been using in primary school. So there she was, wearing a blouse a few sizes too small and a pinafore a few sized too big.

That wasn’t a problem for Lin. Her problem started when her teacher started asking for the students to pay up their fees. After a while Lin became embarrassed to go to school as she had not paid her fees, and so she stopped schooling ever since. Yep, as simple as that.

She was too young to get herself a job, and so she just stayed home helping her mother. At 17 she started working at a small private soy sauce factory nearby, and at 18 she got married to none other than Mr Darling. And she was an obedient stay-at-home wife, seldom going out anywhere.

So it really amazed me that after her divorce she didn’t just wait for people to come and help her. She went out to find ways and means to earn an income for her family. She wanted her children to go to school despite she herself not having the opportunity to be in secondary school. She saw the importance of education for her children’s future.

Her 3 elder daughters I must say, had been very supportive. Even though they are all still studying in higher learning institutions and cannot afford to help out financially yet, they had always been Lin’s pillars of strength.

Now only her 2 younger children (15 & 13) are at school. And they are both being covered by our sponsorship program and so at least Lin doesn’t have to worry about her children’s schooling needs.

I just hope the children will not waste the opportunity given to them.

The opportunity of going to school is something we tend to take for granted. Let’s not forget that there are people out there who were never given the same opportunity. Let’s make sure people like Lin’s children are not deprived of their rights to go to school. Let’s not just allow them to inherit the poverty their mother inherited from her parents.

Let’s make sure these children go to school and complete at least form 5.

House visit/grocery delivery

Busy with the preparations for the seminar on domestic violence, I didn’t realise it was already the final week for the month.

So??

Time for this month’s grocery delivery! Wah, so soon? I thought I just delivered the groceries… errmm… when ya? Oh yeah… that was last month!

So this morning at about 10 am, I sent the list of items needed to the minimarket. They needed some time to get the things ready for me, so I told them I’d get the things at 1 pm. And yes, by the time I went to the minimarket at 1 pm, the things were all ready at their door. This time I ordered more of the items needed to make kuih, as Sofie has started selling kuih, albeit on a very small scale.

After having lunch and zuhr prayer at home, off I headed to Sofie’s house. And when I reached their house, Azlan, Sofie’s eldest boy, was sitting at the door. Wow! Usually by that time he’d be off lepak-ing somewhere with this friends. This time it was Ika, the youngest girl who was not around. She had some activities in school and so she was only coming home after 5 pm. According to Sofie, Ika was complaining to her mom yesterday, “Alaa… esok Makcik Afizah datang, tak dapat nak jumpa.”

Hmmm… I think it wasn’t me that she was eager to see, she was more after the assorted biscuits I usually bring along with me. Usually, she’d open the tin of biscuits right in front of my nose. Today she wasn’t around when I came, and so the tin of biscuits remained unopened until I left.

Anyway, other than Sofie and Azlan, also home today when I visited was Saiful. The small 12 year old boy who last month started wearing glasses (with power of 950/750). It is understandable that when he initially started wearing glasses, he felt soooo dizzy.

According to Saiful, he only felt dizzy for the first 2 days. After that things got better and when I visited him today, he looked quite comfortable in those glasses. Hopefully he can concentrate better in school. Gone are the days when Saiful would say, “Cikgu tak nampak!” and the teacher would reply, “Kamu yang tak nampak, bukan cikgu!” :)

Frankly, I think Saiful looks cute in those glasses!

I will be in KL for this week’s long weekend, and so I will be doing the second round of delivery (to Lin’s house) on Monday.

The Seminar

The seminar on domestic violence was indeed a success, with more than the anticipated number of participants attending – from jawatankuasa kampung, representatives from BN component parties, representatives from schools, colleges,  various government agencies and various NGOs. My only regret is, I wish more men attended. No point creating awareness amongst women on their rights whatsoever if the men aren’t listening…

Anyway, am not in writing mood/mode, so I’ll just share some pics ok?

Breakfast before the seminar

 

At the registration table.

 

Negaraku….

 

Welcoming speech by the chairperson of the organising committee.

 

Guest of honour (wife of Perak MB) giving a speech & officiating the seminar.

 

Dr Sharifah, president of Perak Women for Women, explaining on the health & social implications of domestic violence.

 

Dr Muhammad, deputy dean of the Perak Royal College of Medicine, talking about the psychological effects on victims and family members.

*Couldn’t get a better angle for the 2 pics above as I couldn’t move from that spot – I was taking care of the powerpoint presentation for both talks.

 

Forum on the roles of the various agencies. Panel consisted of representatives from the police, welfare department and jabatan agama Islam.

 

Last but not least, lunch after the seminar – gulai pisang, ayam masak kicap, sambal udang, ulam-ulam + sambal belacan.

 

Ilmu pun dapat, perut pun kenyang…  free of charge!

Seminar Kesedaran Keganasan Rumah Tangga & Pembangunan Masyarakat

I have been roped into a committee to organise awareness & prevention campaigns to the public on women, youth and social matters. And our first programme will be a seminar on the subject of Domestic Violence, which will be held this Tuesday. Topics covered include the Domestic Violence Act, the social & health implication of domestic violence, the psychological effects on victims and their families, also the roles of the police, welfare department and religious authorities in handling domestic violence.

The seminar is open to the public. So those in or around Ipoh (or anywhere else for that matter) who may be interested, do come!

Day/date: Tuesday, 25th May 2010

Time: 8.00 am to 1.30 pm

Venue: Aras 1, Bangunan UMNO Negeri Perak (besides Casuarina Hotel)

Refreshments & lunch provided. No fees charged.

Losing a client...

As I was about to switch off my computer last night, a call came in on my hand phone with the "Beverly Hillbillies" ringtone. (remember Jed & all his friends? ;-))

Just from the ringtone alone, I knew the call came from one of my fellow volunteers. One of a relatively new volunteer (who just got confirmed during our board meeting last month) called to talk about her first ever HIV client.

A few days earlier she called after visiting the client at the hospital in another town. The condition of the client was quite bad and so the volunteer had called to update me about the client, who was in a "semi-coma" condition, so she said.

Last night, the volunteer called again as she had just received news that the client had actually passed on the very same night after the volunteer visited during the day. The volunteer was just informed about it yesterday after the client's funeral.

Last night's call from the volunteer was not just to inform me about her client's death. Frankly I think she needed to talk it out with someone. The call lasted almost half an hour. Apparently she felt sad after her visit at the hospital earlier, looking at the client's poor condition.

She felt she could have done more for the client if only the client was staying in Ipoh, as she could have easily visited the client at home more often. The client was the easily depressed type, keeps things to herself, worries a whole lot about the things happening around her... and the way I see it, she had given up on herself.

The volunteer felt that the client could have lived longer if only there was more encouragement given. She felt the client could have been in a better position if only she was brought to a new environment.

I told the volunteer there are limits as to what we can do as buddies. We can easily say the client or her family members should have done this and that, but we have to remember, many things are easier said and done. And no matter what our religious beliefs are, we all have to accept the fact that the time will come for each of us to leave this world - there are no exceptions to it.

Getting the call from the volunteer reminded me of the time when I had to face the first death amongst my HIV clients. I remember I only had the opportunity to know Rose during the last 2 1/2 months of her life, but during that period I became quite close to Rose... visiting her at home, driving her to the hospital, visiting her kids when she was at the hospital...

When Rose died and I passed the info to my colleagues, the chairperson then was quite concerned as to how I would be taking it. She called to make sure I was okay. Alhamdulillah, I think I took it quite well; and my chairperson then saw it for herself when she went to pay her last respects at Rose's home where I was helping out the family with the funeral arrangements.

Probably I took it better because I have generally learnt to accept death, whether amongst my HIV clients, family, friends or anyone else for that matter.

In addition, for this kind of voluntary work, there is something else we have to keep in mind - don't get yourself too emotionally involved. No doubt we can't help feeling sad or happy for them (whichever the case may be) but getting yourself too deeply involved may result in you yourself needing a buddy! Imagine if I got myself emotionally involved, with the long list of problematic clients that I have, I think I could have gone cuckoo by now...