Schooling opportunity

After a three day break from my voluntary work, today I went over to Lin’s house to send this month’s supply of groceries.

And since I wasn’t rushing to go anywhere else after that, today I had ample time to chat with Lin. And so we were chatting about herself and her past.

You know, all the while I thought Lin had at least completed her SPM. She’s quite a smart lady, I must say. The way she handles situations had been quite commendable.

Today I found out that Lin had only completed primary school. Well, she did go to form one for a short while despite her family’s financial difficulties. They couldn’t afford to buy her school uniform, so she used a pinafore handed to her by a neighbour. The pinafore was rather big for her, but having no other choice, she wore it anyway. As for the white blouse underneath the pinafore, Lin wore the same white (but no so white anymore) blouse she had been using in primary school. So there she was, wearing a blouse a few sizes too small and a pinafore a few sized too big.

That wasn’t a problem for Lin. Her problem started when her teacher started asking for the students to pay up their fees. After a while Lin became embarrassed to go to school as she had not paid her fees, and so she stopped schooling ever since. Yep, as simple as that.

She was too young to get herself a job, and so she just stayed home helping her mother. At 17 she started working at a small private soy sauce factory nearby, and at 18 she got married to none other than Mr Darling. And she was an obedient stay-at-home wife, seldom going out anywhere.

So it really amazed me that after her divorce she didn’t just wait for people to come and help her. She went out to find ways and means to earn an income for her family. She wanted her children to go to school despite she herself not having the opportunity to be in secondary school. She saw the importance of education for her children’s future.

Her 3 elder daughters I must say, had been very supportive. Even though they are all still studying in higher learning institutions and cannot afford to help out financially yet, they had always been Lin’s pillars of strength.

Now only her 2 younger children (15 & 13) are at school. And they are both being covered by our sponsorship program and so at least Lin doesn’t have to worry about her children’s schooling needs.

I just hope the children will not waste the opportunity given to them.

The opportunity of going to school is something we tend to take for granted. Let’s not forget that there are people out there who were never given the same opportunity. Let’s make sure people like Lin’s children are not deprived of their rights to go to school. Let’s not just allow them to inherit the poverty their mother inherited from her parents.

Let’s make sure these children go to school and complete at least form 5.

House visit/grocery delivery

Busy with the preparations for the seminar on domestic violence, I didn’t realise it was already the final week for the month.

So??

Time for this month’s grocery delivery! Wah, so soon? I thought I just delivered the groceries… errmm… when ya? Oh yeah… that was last month!

So this morning at about 10 am, I sent the list of items needed to the minimarket. They needed some time to get the things ready for me, so I told them I’d get the things at 1 pm. And yes, by the time I went to the minimarket at 1 pm, the things were all ready at their door. This time I ordered more of the items needed to make kuih, as Sofie has started selling kuih, albeit on a very small scale.

After having lunch and zuhr prayer at home, off I headed to Sofie’s house. And when I reached their house, Azlan, Sofie’s eldest boy, was sitting at the door. Wow! Usually by that time he’d be off lepak-ing somewhere with this friends. This time it was Ika, the youngest girl who was not around. She had some activities in school and so she was only coming home after 5 pm. According to Sofie, Ika was complaining to her mom yesterday, “Alaa… esok Makcik Afizah datang, tak dapat nak jumpa.”

Hmmm… I think it wasn’t me that she was eager to see, she was more after the assorted biscuits I usually bring along with me. Usually, she’d open the tin of biscuits right in front of my nose. Today she wasn’t around when I came, and so the tin of biscuits remained unopened until I left.

Anyway, other than Sofie and Azlan, also home today when I visited was Saiful. The small 12 year old boy who last month started wearing glasses (with power of 950/750). It is understandable that when he initially started wearing glasses, he felt soooo dizzy.

According to Saiful, he only felt dizzy for the first 2 days. After that things got better and when I visited him today, he looked quite comfortable in those glasses. Hopefully he can concentrate better in school. Gone are the days when Saiful would say, “Cikgu tak nampak!” and the teacher would reply, “Kamu yang tak nampak, bukan cikgu!” :)

Frankly, I think Saiful looks cute in those glasses!

I will be in KL for this week’s long weekend, and so I will be doing the second round of delivery (to Lin’s house) on Monday.

The Seminar

The seminar on domestic violence was indeed a success, with more than the anticipated number of participants attending – from jawatankuasa kampung, representatives from BN component parties, representatives from schools, colleges,  various government agencies and various NGOs. My only regret is, I wish more men attended. No point creating awareness amongst women on their rights whatsoever if the men aren’t listening…

Anyway, am not in writing mood/mode, so I’ll just share some pics ok?

Breakfast before the seminar

 

At the registration table.

 

Negaraku….

 

Welcoming speech by the chairperson of the organising committee.

 

Guest of honour (wife of Perak MB) giving a speech & officiating the seminar.

 

Dr Sharifah, president of Perak Women for Women, explaining on the health & social implications of domestic violence.

 

Dr Muhammad, deputy dean of the Perak Royal College of Medicine, talking about the psychological effects on victims and family members.

*Couldn’t get a better angle for the 2 pics above as I couldn’t move from that spot – I was taking care of the powerpoint presentation for both talks.

 

Forum on the roles of the various agencies. Panel consisted of representatives from the police, welfare department and jabatan agama Islam.

 

Last but not least, lunch after the seminar – gulai pisang, ayam masak kicap, sambal udang, ulam-ulam + sambal belacan.

 

Ilmu pun dapat, perut pun kenyang…  free of charge!

Seminar Kesedaran Keganasan Rumah Tangga & Pembangunan Masyarakat

I have been roped into a committee to organise awareness & prevention campaigns to the public on women, youth and social matters. And our first programme will be a seminar on the subject of Domestic Violence, which will be held this Tuesday. Topics covered include the Domestic Violence Act, the social & health implication of domestic violence, the psychological effects on victims and their families, also the roles of the police, welfare department and religious authorities in handling domestic violence.

The seminar is open to the public. So those in or around Ipoh (or anywhere else for that matter) who may be interested, do come!

Day/date: Tuesday, 25th May 2010

Time: 8.00 am to 1.30 pm

Venue: Aras 1, Bangunan UMNO Negeri Perak (besides Casuarina Hotel)

Refreshments & lunch provided. No fees charged.

Losing a client...

As I was about to switch off my computer last night, a call came in on my hand phone with the "Beverly Hillbillies" ringtone. (remember Jed & all his friends? ;-))

Just from the ringtone alone, I knew the call came from one of my fellow volunteers. One of a relatively new volunteer (who just got confirmed during our board meeting last month) called to talk about her first ever HIV client.

A few days earlier she called after visiting the client at the hospital in another town. The condition of the client was quite bad and so the volunteer had called to update me about the client, who was in a "semi-coma" condition, so she said.

Last night, the volunteer called again as she had just received news that the client had actually passed on the very same night after the volunteer visited during the day. The volunteer was just informed about it yesterday after the client's funeral.

Last night's call from the volunteer was not just to inform me about her client's death. Frankly I think she needed to talk it out with someone. The call lasted almost half an hour. Apparently she felt sad after her visit at the hospital earlier, looking at the client's poor condition.

She felt she could have done more for the client if only the client was staying in Ipoh, as she could have easily visited the client at home more often. The client was the easily depressed type, keeps things to herself, worries a whole lot about the things happening around her... and the way I see it, she had given up on herself.

The volunteer felt that the client could have lived longer if only there was more encouragement given. She felt the client could have been in a better position if only she was brought to a new environment.

I told the volunteer there are limits as to what we can do as buddies. We can easily say the client or her family members should have done this and that, but we have to remember, many things are easier said and done. And no matter what our religious beliefs are, we all have to accept the fact that the time will come for each of us to leave this world - there are no exceptions to it.

Getting the call from the volunteer reminded me of the time when I had to face the first death amongst my HIV clients. I remember I only had the opportunity to know Rose during the last 2 1/2 months of her life, but during that period I became quite close to Rose... visiting her at home, driving her to the hospital, visiting her kids when she was at the hospital...

When Rose died and I passed the info to my colleagues, the chairperson then was quite concerned as to how I would be taking it. She called to make sure I was okay. Alhamdulillah, I think I took it quite well; and my chairperson then saw it for herself when she went to pay her last respects at Rose's home where I was helping out the family with the funeral arrangements.

Probably I took it better because I have generally learnt to accept death, whether amongst my HIV clients, family, friends or anyone else for that matter.

In addition, for this kind of voluntary work, there is something else we have to keep in mind - don't get yourself too emotionally involved. No doubt we can't help feeling sad or happy for them (whichever the case may be) but getting yourself too deeply involved may result in you yourself needing a buddy! Imagine if I got myself emotionally involved, with the long list of problematic clients that I have, I think I could have gone cuckoo by now...

House visit – Sponsorship assessment

When our Education Sponsorship for Children started off in 2008, 9 children from 5 families became the first batch to be considered and approved for the said program. An additional 7 children from 4 families were approved in 2009, bringing the total to 16 children.

Applications for the program then slowed down a bit as most of the children from poor families were already under the program. Other children not covered by the Sponsorship, but need help at the beginning of each schooling year would be covered by our Children Education Fund (CEF).

However, in March this year we had an application from an Orang Asli child, and I managed to get a sponsor by highlighting the matter through my facebook page. That brought the total of sponsored children to 17.

Then last week, a fellow volunteer called to ask if we could get financial help for Aini. Aini had been our client for 3 years now. When her case was first referred to us, her husband was still alive, but his health condition was already very poor. He died not long after the case was referred to us.

Aini was then still working as an assistant at a pharmacy. With 3 school-going children, life was tough, but she survived without having to seek financial help from others. We still covered for her children’s back to school expenses for the next 2 years.

However since more than a year ago, the pharmacy where Aini was working at closed down and Aini was out of a job. She tried applying for jobs here and there but was unsuccessful. In her 40’s, and with HIV, it wasn’t easy for Aini. She ended up taking care of a neighbour’s child at her home, getting paid RM200 per month. With that income, she pays her house rental of the same amount. In addition she’s also getting Welfare Aid of RM300 per month which she depends on to pay for food, utilities and bus fares.

Of late, Aini had been having pains at her hips and checks later revealed that she had a minor fracture. In addition she had been having kidney problems for some time already, and is on medication (not on dialysis).

Although it had been a year since she lost her job, Aini tried her utmost best to support her children without having to seek help elsewhere… probably surviving on her savings.

However of late she had become more desperate as she found it hard to ensure there was enough food for the children. Which was why her buddy finally sought my help. After listening to Aini’s problems, I figured we could consider her children for our Education Sponsorship program.

And so this afternoon, her buddy brought me and 2 other colleagues to visit Aini at home to assess her situation.

Since Aini and her children are regulars at our annual Family Day for the past 3 years, when we visited today, we didn’t really need to be introduced. Even her children knew us already. So we were just there to ask her more of her latest developments… her income… her expenses… etc. And we could clearly see she had difficulty walking. She needs to go to the hospital at least once a week for physiotherapy – and given her condition, going up and down public busses is not advisable. So she has to take a taxi, which would usually charge her RM8 one way.

So yep, to us, her 3 children definitely qualifies to be considered for the sponsorship program. And it’s good that the children loves going to school. I told the children that if we are able to get sponsors for them, they would need to report to this “gurubesar” (yours truly) as well on their progress in school, so that I can report to the sponsors.

When I got home today, I immediately highlighted the matter again on my facebook page, and I have now got sponsors for Aini’s 11 year old son and 16 year old daughter. Still looking for one more sponsor for her 13 year old son…

In memory of…

16th May 2010 – International Aids Memorial Day.

I’ll make this a short posting… in memory of the PLHIVs whom I had the opportunity to get to know in the course of my voluntary work, and who had left us… (please just click on the links if you want to know their story)

Rose – May 2006 (I still get updates on Rose’s children from time to time through Rose’s sister)

Azman, (Yah’s husband) – December 2006 (I am still in touch with Yah although not as often as before)

Lily – May 2007 (Lily died on International Aids Memorial Day in 2007 – she had a son who was also HIV+ who was sent to a home for HIV children. Boboy should be 8 this year. I have since lost contact with all the children and their new guardians)

Rashid (Hana’s husband) – October 2007 (I am still in touch with Hana. Her children are under our education sponsorship program)

Rina – October 2007 (I am no longer in touch with her family)

Macam-macam hal…

I was on my way to work last week when a text message came in on my hand phone. Oh no, I don’t read text messages while driving. Too much of a hassle to even attempt it as I’d need to put on my reading glasses to be able to figure out the contents of the message! So big NO to SMS while driving.

When I got to my office, I checked out the message. It was from Rosnah, telling me that she was at the HIV clinic for her appointment and asked where I was. She probably thought I was somewhere at the hospital. I replied, saying I was at my office, adding that I had lots of work to do… in case she expected me to go to the hospital to meet up with her.

After a while, another message came from Rosnah…

“Boleh ke kak bantu saya. Kesempitan duit sangat.”

No wonderlah she was hoping to see me… got udang di sebalik batu… got cicak di sebalik frame…

Oh no! Not another Mrs K in the making!

I didn’t bother to reply. Just because she’s getting help for her daughter under our Children Education Fund, doesn’t mean we are going to help her every time she runs short of money. She is after all working, has only one child to support, and doesn’t need to pay house rental as she’s staying at her mother’s house!

People who are worse off, like Sofie for example, who has 4 schooling children, has to pay house rental, and can’t afford to get a full time job due to her poor state of health, NEVER tried to borrow money from me. She’d just make do with whatever that she has.

So Rosnah just got herself listed under my “be wary of them” clients.

----------------------------------------------------

I received a text message from Sharifah yesterday morning. It was her appointment at the HIV clinic yesterday and usually she’d be spending the night before at Kak Ana’s place so she could be with her baby girl. And usually Kak Ana would drive her to Ipoh for her appointments. Well, the last time they came, they were quite late… resulting in some nagging not only from the staff nurse, but also from the doctor.

Yesterday when Sharifah sent me the text message, it was almost 10.30 am, and they (Sharifah and Kak Ana) had just made a move from their place. Usually it takes more than an hour to reach Ipoh. Uhh… late again? So Sharifah asked me to inform SN that she’d be quite late for her appointment. Maybe she thought I was at the hospital for clinic duty because the last time she went for her blood test, I was there.

Sorry dearie… this time you’d better call SN yourself. So yep, I gave her SN’s number (in case she says she doesn’t have the number) and told her to call SN herself. Ni mesti takut kena marah dengan SN…

---------------------------------------------------

A fellow volunteer called me yesterday. She wanted to recommend her client to be considered for our Education Sponsorship for Children Program. The client used to work as an assistant at a pharmacy, but the pharmacy has closed down and she is now out of a job. She has been trying to get a job… to no avail. So what she’s doing now is she takes care of somebody’s child during the day and gets RM250 per month. That’s not enough for her 3 schooling children. She has been keeping this to herself for quite some time, probably still having some savings to make use of; but has gotten a bit desperate of late.

Well, based on our procedures for the sponsorship program, at least 2 of the committee members need to pay her a visit first for assessment purposes. I have already reserved myself for another group this Saturday, and so I’ve arranged for the assessment visit to be done on Sunday afternoon. If and when approved, the next step will be to look for sponsors…

Running for a cause…

I had informed my team-mates from the Buddies team to meet up in front of the bank near Ipoh Padang at 8.15 am, but I personally got there at 8 am. The sole male runner from my team was already there, all eager to run – he’s used to taking part in runs like these. In fact when I asked him earlier if he was willing to run 2 km for charity, he said it was too short a distance and asked if he could run 10km instead! Yennadey! This one charity run la macha!

Can saman this motorbike or not, for parking at the yellow line? (hehe… the officer was on duty lah!)

With a team of 4 females and 1 male, and yours truly being the oldest in the team, nobody dared dispute when I told them I wanted to run first. Cannot lawan madam chair lah kan? We weren’t running to win anything (although there were prizes for the first 5 teams to complete the run – but with so many boys schools participating, we didn’t stand a chance… so might as well just enjoy the run!)

My team – All smiles before the run!

Actually I wanted to run first to avoid having to run under the blazing hot sun. So yeah, the earlier I ran the better! But the weather was very kind on us today. Right to the very last runner, it wasn’t too hot.

Frankly, my run was more like jogging. I knew my limits, so to me my task was just to finish the run and pass the yellow sash to the next runner. Felt a bit “pancit” after the hilly part, but when I saw my colleague holding the camera to take my picture, I continued running and gave him a smile…

This is called the “control pancit” pose!

I wasn’t really bothered when youngsters overtook me, but when a few “veterans” did, I thought to myself… “Eh, tak boleh jadi ni!” So continued running I did, not wanting to be left behind. I’m not sure if I could beat this old man though, I had finished my run by the time he started his… :-)

He started off with shoes, but took ‘em off halfway thru… more comfortable without them I think!

The other runners in my team are quite used to taking part in runs – especially our 4th and 5th runners… they don’t usually miss taking part in the annual Ipoh International Run. Usually 10km would be their minimum; so today’s 2km was a breeze I’m sure to them.

BUT… my 2km was the most expensive run in my team at least. With each of them collecting less than RM100, my own personal run was worth RM1,050. So definitely no complaints from them even if I was slower than them in finishing the run!

Amongst the top 5 fastest teams to finish the run, 4 were teams from secondary schools, and amongst the runners from the 5 teams, only 2 were girls. The team which finished first, was a team of friends, all regulars at international runs.

And there was also a prize for the team with the best costume/attire, which went to this team…

Showing their backs to the audience during the photograph session.

No my team didn’t win any prizes, but all participants got to bring back a goodie bag each – consisting of a t-shirt, notepad, and… a tube of cream to relief muscular aches! Hehehe… guess they were already anticipating a number of unfit participants taking part! Well, I gave mine to my mother… Happy Mother’s Day! Muahaha! (cheapskate punya anak…)

So yeah folks, I think I did okay for the run. There were over 100 teams participating, and I think we finished amongst the top half (thanks to the other runners in my team lah!). For the moment, I am still feeling okay, body not aching… yet…

Yang penting, duit ada masyuuuuk…

Clearer but dizzier…

I had promised Saiful I’d come again this week to bring him to the optical shop to get his new pair of glasses. But I had something on earlier in the afternoon and so I was a little bit late today.

The boy just came back from a nearby grocery shop, buying some stuff Sofie needed. Just as he stepped into the house he asked his mother, “Makcik Afizah dah datang belum?” Before Sofie could answer, Saiful turned around and saw my car. “Yayy! Sampai dah!” he shouted, excited I suppose, about getting his new pair of glasses.

So off we went, just Saiful and myself. Sofie was too tired to come along, while Ika, who always gets car sick with the aircond on, decided not to follow. We wouldn’t be long anyway.

This time I didn’t bother to get any parking coupons when I parked my car in town. I used the last piece that I had last week. The coupons I have in my car are for Ipoh only and does not cover that town. Besides, I figured it would only be for a short while to get Saiful’s glasses, and so… ikut nasiblah… (thank God by the time we got back to the car, there was no parking summons… phew!)

The moment I walked into the shop with Saiful, the taukeh remembered us. He took out Saiful’s glasses, and goodness, despite the fact that it was supposed to be thinner, it was still thick! Initially when Saiful first wore it, he did say he could see clearly. But the moment he walked out of the shop, he started getting dizzy and almost walked into a pillar! But he’s such a cute boy, he just laughed!

See how thick it is?

I reminded him of what the doctor said earlier – that he would probably be dizzy during the first week after wearing glasses. He’d need time to adjust himself to wearing glasses after never wearing any despite the need for one since he was still a little boy (oh well, he is still “little” but he’s almost 12 now!). The doctor told him to wear the glasses ALL the time, except when he bathes and sleeps. If he doesn’t make it a habit to wear the glasses, then chances are he will need to get his eyes operated on. That reminder was enough to make him wear the glasses – the words “kena operate” was enough to scare him!

Well, let’s just hope the boy will get used to wearing ‘em glasses soon.

Anyway, Sofie is still looking around for a house, but for the moment she is temporarily looking for a house in the same town first. Saiful is sitting for his UPSR this year, and so moving to a totally new town and a new school may be a problem for Saiful especially now that he has already registered for his UPSR to be taken at his present school. The present house can be a problem especially when there’s heavy rain as water gets into the house and even water level from the toilet rises, spilling into the kitchen! Yuks! And with Sofie’s condition, every time she has to clean-up after that (her children helps but she simply couldn’t sit still and watch), she’d end up having problems getting up!

Sofie is already eying one house in another area in the same town. Hopefully the rental is not so high. By year end school holidays, she hopes to move to another town and start afresh.

And oh, Sofie is slowly beginning to make some kuih and send them to a friend’s stall to be sold. The friend sells nasi lemak and meehoon, no kuih, so she offered Sofie to sell her kuih at her stall. Not much, but a start…

That’s what I like about Sofie. She doesn’t just sit still waiting for help to come her way. She finds ways and means to earn her own income, albeit not much. And unlike some other clients whose health condition aren’t as bad as Sofie’s,  she understands that I’m there to help her get back on her feet, not to provide everything for her family forever!

I like helping people with this kind of attitude…

What if…

In the course of my voluntary work, I’ve met various people from various backgrounds. Although, some of them do give me trouble by getting themselves into trouble, basically I don’t really have problems in dealing with them. I just do what I can, and avoid getting myself too personally involved.

At the GH during my HIV clinic duty, whenever the staff nurse (SN) refers new cases to us, we take down the patients’ details (we call them clients), we talk to them, we offer them our support service, and we leave it to them to decide whether they want us to be their buddies. It may not be easy to break the ice, sometimes it may take a few meets or calls before they open up, or sometimes they don’t open up at all because in the kind of situation they are in, it’s not easy gaining their trust.

But so far the cases referred to me personally were those of people whom I had never met before. I never knew them, I never knew their family. So although the clients may initially find it difficult to open up, at least they are not too worried about having me tell their relatives/friends about their HIV status.

I can’t really imagine what would happen if one day while on voluntary duty at the hospital, SN comes in with a new client to be referred to us… and that person happens to be someone I know and/or who knows me! A kampong folk maybe?

No, I personally don’t have any problems with that. I’d still treat him/her just like the other clients – assuring confidentiality and all. But I wonder if the client him/herself would be comfortable with me after finding out that I know his/her status? Would they trust me enough to be convinced that I won’t be telling anyone else about their HIV? Not even my own family members?

I don’t tell my family members who my clients are, whether or not they know the person. I don’t have the right to breach the confidentiality of my clients’ HIV status. But with actual cases of breach of patients’ confidentiality happening, particularly by those who knew the patient personally, would I be able to convince the clients that they can trust me?

Oh well, I sincerely hope nobody I already know will ever have to be referred to me for HIV!

Busy week ahead

After enjoying myself silly last Saturday on my 17+++ birthday, visiting the place where I spent my teenage years, this week is going to be a rather busy week.

Will be driving to KL early tomorrow morning to attend a seminar on Women, Girls and HIV in Malaysia. The seminar will end by lunch time; but I am a little bit confused as to whether I need to stay on after that. In the earlier email that I got, the tentative programme only mentioned about the seminar. Then a fax came in, and the tentative programme included a “Mesyuarat Jawatankuasa Pasukan Petugas HIV/AIDS Wanita dan Remaja Perempuan”. I remember being called for a meeting before which I couldn’t attend, and so now I’m not sure if I’m supposed to attend this meeting. I hope I don’t have to… at least I can leave KL before office hours end!

On Thursday I have to attend a meeting of the Jawatankuasa Kempen Kesedaran & Pencegahan (for schools) here in Ipoh.

Friday – I got an invitation by the club sponsoring groceries for Sofie’s and Lin’s families, to attend their AGM. It seems they want to acknowledge my contribution in delivering the groceries to the 2 families. But I had already promised to bring Saiful to get his pair of glasses; and to me that is more important, and so I had to turn down the AGM invitation.

Saturday – Our exhibition at a hotel in Ipoh in conjunction with a conference held by the Perak Palliative Care Society. My shift will be in the afternoon so at least I can go to the pasar tani in the morning after missing my Saturday morning routine last week.

Sunday – the exhibition is still on until afternoon but I have already left it to my vice-chairman to handle the exhibition (since he’s the coordinator for public awareness programmes). I and 4 other volunteers will be taking part in a charity run. Yep, we will be running 2km each for charity. And as my own personal run-up to the charity run, last Saturday I volunteered to play volleyball in a Under-60s vs Under 16s game at my alma-mater. After the volleyball game ended, I was just trying to “lepas gian” hitting some balls with the hockey stick. As I was about to return the hockey stick, I was pulled in to play hockey as well (in a much smaller field and in a much shorter time).

The good thing is, I still feel okay after the 2 games, and so I think I should be doing okay for the 2 km run. I know I can walk 2 km, so worse comes to worse, I’ll walk!

So looks like I only have Wednesday free this week…