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Wednesday 4 June 2008

Worrying about problems...

After coming back from KL on Monday, I got a text message from Shila - this time to tell me that she was warded at Ipoh GH. Then Mrs. K’s daughter sent me a text message telling me about her little sister being warded at the district hospital and asking if I was going to visit (that usually means she wants me to visit). I just paid them a visit last week before the girl got warded and with so many things to do I really can’t slot in the time to visit again that soon. Earlier on Monday when Maria SMS-ed me about her problem, I told her I’d call her when I’m back in Ipoh.

But by the time I got home on Monday, I was rather tired so I decided to get myself a good rest before I started calling/visiting.

Tuesday came, and having taken Monday off, there was additional work at the office. I still needed to follow up on my clients, but with a few of them waiting for me to contact them, I had better prioritize. Shila is actually under another buddy, not me. So, although she likes to “mengadu hal” to me (or whoever else she could get hold of), I shall let her own buddy follow up on her. I have my own problematic clients to follow up with.

I contacted Mrs. K to find out more on her little girl’s condition. Apparently when Mr. K got his pay on Friday, he went to get back their hand phone from the kedai pajak gadai, so this time I could contact them. I was informed by Mrs. K that since her daughter’s condition did not improve, the doctor arranged for a blood test on the little girl. The doctor did ask Mrs. K if anyone in the family had any problems with their blood. Not wanting anyone in the district hospital knowing about her husband’s HIV status, she just said no. Then she started worrying if her daughter had been infected.

I told her that her baby girl would only get infected if Mrs. K herself was infected. But since Mrs. K’s latest blood test showed negative results, I told her that it must be some other problems. The results of the girl’s blood tests are not out yet. I am sure Mrs. K will get back to me once the results are out.

Yesterday morning I also called Maria. Maria usually would only contact me when she really has problems; so when she did contact me on Monday telling me about how depressed she was, I knew it was serious. I didn’t want to call after office hours, as by then her husband would be home and as such Maria would be reluctant to talk. So I had to call during office hours. True enough, only Maria and her 2 year old son were at home. Her other children were at their grandparents’ home during the school holidays.

It seems of late Maria had been feeling really depressed. She tends to get worried over nothing, and with her mother’s passing recently, she seemed to be getting worse. It is school holidays and she doesn’t have to go to work (she’s helping to teach at a nearby kindergarten) and as such, sitting around with nothing much to do, all sorts of worries seem to come to her mind. Having had to go through a problematic family background didn’t help. She said she tried zikir and all, but somehow her mind tends to wander off again. She even asked if she could get some pills from the hospital to help calm her down.

Personally I feel Maria doesn’t talk enough. She’s already the quiet type, and with her HIV, she has even less people to talk to. Amongst her family members, only her husband knows of her HIV status. But her husband is not a good listener. Every time Maria wants to talk things over with him, particularly about her HIV, he’d avoid by telling her to just forget about it and just act as though nothing happened.

The thing is, even when I introduced her to other HIV positive women, she never talked much either. Even Jah complained that talking to Maria was like a one-way communication. I guess she finds it hard to open up to simply anyone – even those in the same boat.

I think Maria’s main problem is that she’s been keeping too much inside her. When she can’t stand it, she’d call/SMS me. Talking to me may solve the problem for the short term. Then after some time, those feelings keep bothering her again.

Anyway, I told Maria to try and keep herself busy with other things so she wouldn’t be worrying too much about her problems. Sometimes the problem doesn’t even exist – it’s her who keeps thinking of all the “what if” questions…

I’m thinking of visiting her one of these days, and probably I’d get the ever so-jovial-Jah to tag along.

I also need to start calling all my clients to ask if they’d like to join this year’s Family Day. We had our Fellowship committee meeting last night to start discussions about this year’s Family Day in August – and the destination this year is the Taiping Zoo. We need to start planning ahead – the plan, logistics, prizes etc.

Last year we had some of my blog readers contributing toys to be given to the children. So, if any of you have got any stuff to be given away to the children… hey, kecil tapak tangan, lori kontena saya tadahkan

8 comments:

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

aisehh, very sad case la this maria. orang kata simpan dalam hati boleh membawa mati. so what she really needs is someone whom she can trust to turn to. since she cant be having you all the time, she has to open up to other PLHWAs so she could let out whats been kept inside. i know its easier to say than for her to do it but like it or not she has to. mak dia takkan tak tau her status kot?

Pi Bani said...

Kerp,
Mak dia memang sampai sudah tak tau she had HIV. Maria didn't want to worry her mother because mak dia ada macam-macam penyakit, and so she didn't want to worsen her mom's condition. But at least when the mother was around, Maria wasn't too depressed lah. Baru-baru ni since mak dia meninggal yang makin teruk sebab lagi dia terasa sunyi.

Anonymous said...

mari..mari...penuhkan lori k.pi.....

k.pi...nak tanya...u want only brand new toys? would u consider 2nd hand toys yang in good condition?

-niasulaiman-

Pi Bani said...

Niasulaiman,
Last year pun actually I got 2nd hand toys but all still in very good condition. The children loved them - tak kiralah second hand pun.

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Aunty Pi,

Hmmm...It's good Maria trusts you enough to come and confide in you when things get really bad...Talking usually feels better, but some people don't feel that way...Maybe Maria is one such person?

As for the rest of your clients, sometimes they can be quite pushy, huh? Sampai it's like, you have to visit them like that? Hmmm...

Pi Bani said...

Daph,
The way I see it, Maria does feel better after she gets to talk to someone about her feelings. What's hard for her is to open up. Maybe because of the response she has been getting from her husband, she's afraid others may end up giving a similar response - so the best she thinks is to keep things to herself.

As for some of my clients, yes, some of them can be pushy. I just have to be firm - otherwise if I give in every time, sure kena pijak kepala lah...

bluskyes said...

hello Pi
Hope you're doing well - though quite tired, I see...rest well, coz you have lots of people counting on you!!
Would be very happy to contribute towards the family day, but am overseas, so can only donate cash through Maybank2u. Boleh tak? I can give you my e-mail address and we can 'talk' abt what to do.

Pi Bani said...

Bluskyes,
Email me at pibani@yahoo.com