Updates from Perak...

Now, now, now... if you had actually clicked on this link hoping to read my take about the recent political fiasco in Perak.... SORRY, WRONG NUMBER! All I can say on that issue is.. I think next time I may want to vote for Party Tupperware lah!

You see, I stay in Ipoh, and as such, any updates coming from me on whatever matters (even personal matters) are still updates from Perak, aren't they? :)

Well, anyway, my updates this time, as per most of my blog postings, are related to my NGO work.

1. Sharifah contacted me as promised. She wanted to know if we Buddies provide temporary shelter for people like her. She needs shelter temporarily when she delivers. While her mother is willing to take care of her at home, her father is a different story altogether. To him Sharifah had brought shame to the family. Sharifah herself wants to avoid the embarrassment her family may face. Since we don't have shelter homes, I told her we can help find a suitable shelter home for her. Sharifah also asked if it is possible for her to go for follow-ups at her hometown but still deliver her baby in Ipoh. She will still need to get referral letters from Ipoh GH for that purpose, so I told her to come to Ipoh for her next appointment, which is next week, and we'd try to get things settled then. Hopefully by then, I will be able to find a suitable home for her.

2. Yah sent me a text message on Monday. Her mother passed away on Sunday - Mother's Day.

3. Mrs K called me yesterday. She and Mr K were in Ipoh to apply for various financial help for their daughter's coming operation in IJN. She asked how to go about applying for her EPF withdrawal (for medical purposes). I told her the best people to ask would be the EPF people themselves. They already know where the EPF office is, so I told her to go there and get the necessary forms. Later in the afternoon, she sent me a text message, telling me that it is so difficult to apply for the EPF withdrawal because they'd need to come up with a medical report from the doctor. Duh! You want to withdraw for medical purposes, surely they'd need a medical report?! And remember I asked for the bank account number of the bus operator who takes Mrs K's children to school? Well, according to Mrs K, the bus operator told her he didn't have any account number as he is working on his own. I was still rather reluctant to give cash to Mrs K for reasons stated earlier. They may for this one time pay the money to the bus operator, but what about future bus fares? So I replied to Mrs K, telling her that the bus operator must have at least a personal savings account, unless he keeps all his money under his pillow! I was not asking for a company or business bank account. I told her if she can't get his account number, then give me his full name, so we can write him a cheque for the monthly bus fares. Later at night, I got another SMS from Mrs K, this time with the name and bank account number of the bus driver. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

4. SN called me from the HIV clinic this morning. Today being the second Wednesday of the month, we don't have any of our volunteers at the clinic to provide support service. But there was one case of a poor single mother with 4 kids who needed help, so SN called me up. I had some work at the office and so I couldn't go to the hospital to meet up with this lady. So I took down her contact particulars and also told SN to give her my number. I hope to be able to meet up with this lady soon to assess her situation.

5. I went to visit Lin today. 2 of her children are under our Sponsorship Programme. One of them, Rahim, will be 14 tomorrow. His sponsor had sent me some money to buy a birthday gift for the boy. So yep, I bought him a present based on what Lin had been telling about the boy's likes and dislikes...

Inside the box?

An MP3/MP4 player.

Lin was at her pisang goreng stall, so I took the opportunity to visit her at the stall. Usually I'd visit her at home. No, I didn't bring along any bananas this time, as the ones at home are not ripe enough. Maybe next time.

Anyway, Lin was quite busy at her stall, which means business is okay. I told her to continue frying the bananas and cokodok, while I ordered a drink for myself from the stall she's sharing with. Lin told me that her daughter's school had already asked for an additional fee that needed to be paid. She was thinking of sending me a text message tonight, to inform me about it. But since I went to serah diri, there is no need for her to do that now. I took down the amount, and told her I'd bank in the money into her bank account, as usual.

As we were chatting, a young girl in school uniform came over, offering her hands to salam. It was Marlia, Lin's youngest daughter, who just came back from school.

I didn't stay too long as I didn't want to disturb Lin in her business. But just as I was entering my car, I saw Marlia running over to me. Apparently she was just informed by her school teacher that they'd need to pay RM80 ASAP for a motivational programme for the school's UPSR students. The programme is next week, and they'd need to pay by this week. Well, that amount can easily be covered with her sponsorship money since it is related to her education, so I decided to give my money first and later claim from my NGO.

Ah well, my mission was to pass the birthday present to Lin (Rahim was in school, so I couldn't pass it to him personally). Mission accomplished, and in addition, I also managed to settle some other sponsorship matters. Perfect timing to pay them a visit, I must say.

Gua masuk gua, gua cakap lu!

Sunday, 10th May 2009 - An exciting day it was for me... not because it was Mother's Day (I left my mother at home with my sister) but because it was the day for my office Gua Tempurung tour (this was one place I wouldn't bring my mother).

Didn't I go there some time during Raya month last year? So why was I excited this time around?

Because last year I went with 2 of my staff for the dry tour due to time constraint. This time it was for the Grand Tour! Woohoo! What's so exciting about the Grand Tour? Read on...

We (my office-mates and I) met up at 7.30 am near our office. Off we went for breakfast first. Need to fill up our tummy before we go for the 3 1/2 - 4 hours tour.

Welcome to Gua Tempurung...

Greeting us outside were a few siamangs...

The landscape outside the cave.

There was also a fishing competition at the lake outside the cave.

When there were enough people (they require a minimum of 8 people in a group for the Grand Tour), about 9 am, in we went, into darkness. There were 2 options available - either we'd go through the dry tour first before getting wet... or the way the ranger took us - which was through the river first.


I kinda like this pic... the lady in green looked as though she didn't have any feet... and there were a few of her in this pic... hihihi...

We had to crawl...

Mind you, there were a total of 7 stretches that we had to crawl... one of them, lower than the above pic, we were not able to crawl on our knees... but more of the commando style... yep, getting all wet!

We had to slide down the boulder...

Sorry, pic taken with my camera still inside my waterproof casing. By then the outer part of the casing was all wet and dirty (caused by all the crawling), and I didn't have anything dry on me to wipe it with. How far down did we have to slide? You see the torchlight at the top and the 2 guys waiting down there? (btw, if you intend to bring in your camera or handphone, make sure you put them in a waterproof casing especially during the crawling part)

Then we had to go down this hole...

No, not asshole. This is called the "lubang tikus". The ranger went down first, then offered his thigh for us to put our foot on to get down.

Taking a break...

Meet my office-mates... yours truly was behind the camera lah...

Aaah... light at the end of the tunnel! Yayy!! The worse was over!!

The only picture with me in it... this was the only time one of my staff offered to take the pic.
This pic was taken just a few seconds before this lady shouted, "MAK! LINTAH!!" Hehehe...

The Malaysian mentality I hate!

Did I say the worse was over? Uh oh... back into the cave we went...

And we had to climb up... yep, this far up...

And saw Mr Bat at close range... (well, I can't tell between male and female bats... this one could have been Mrs Bat for all I know!)

More bats...

Then we had to go down again...

This was one of the least challenging part...

Up down up down... until we reached the staircases for the dry tour after which we had to huff and puff up and down the stairs.

I was too lazy to take any more pics after that because I had gone through that tour before. The only difference was, the earlier tour I went, I was dry (except from the sweat of having to huff and puff up and down the stairs). This time around, by the time I reached the dry tour, I was wet from chest down (and all dirty!)

It was already 1 pm by the time we got out. First things first... we went straight to the car to get our change of clothes, paid to get into the toilet (30 sen if you want to use the toilet, RM1 if you want to have a bath). I just did the "mandi P.Ramlee" (not P.Bani) before changing into fresh dry clothes. After that we had lunch. There are ample food stalls outside the cave.

Then we headed back. I got home, dumped all my wet clothes into the pail (kena rendam dulu, seluar dalam biru pun dah berubah jadi brownish!!), had a good bath, then my solat zohor, and a good massage on the massage chair at home. Ahh, bliss...

It was indeed an interesting tour, but those who are claustrophobic or asthmatic, DON'T GO for the Grand Tour. You can go for the dry tours (Tours 1 & 2). Bear in mind that Tour 4 (the Grand Tour) is not only adventurous, it is also VERY CHALLENGING! The rocks where you'd have to climb up/down, can be very slippery at certain spots. TEAMWORK is very important - you'd need to help each other out.

Having said all that, I have to add that amongst those who joined our group was a 62 year old Ah So. But she was FIT! Of course, she had problems when climbing up the slippery rocks and sliding down the boulder, but with the help of others in the group, she managed.

So, Gua Tempurung, anyone?

Young, single and ... (Updated)

I wasn't on clinic duty this week but when I went to our center yesterday, I was told by my colleague who was on duty on Wednesday, that they couldn't think of anybody else but me to be assigned to a new client they met.

Uh, oh... I already have the longest list of clients amongst all the volunteers, and yet they're adding more? Never mind, I think what I'll do is to hand over a few of my less problematic clients to other volunteers so I can concentrate on the problematic ones. The fact that my colleagues who were on clinic duty said they couldn't think of anybody else; only meant that this new client must be a problematic one.

True enough, this new client, who is young enough to be my daughter (she's 19) was crying when my colleagues met her at the clinic. Wow! My youngest adult client ever. The only younger clients I have are children - where my contacts are basically through their mothers. But for this girl, it's her I have to talk to and be a friend to.

Well, I haven't met or even called her yet. Usually we'd call our newly assigned clients within 2 weeks from the date of the first contact at the HIV clinic. But for this young girl, I'd better call her soon. Maybe by tomorrow.

You see, this girl, Sharifah, is not only young and single. She's also.... pregnant!

Oh dear, no wonder lah they passed the case to me. Despite never being pregnant myself, I have been handling quite a number of cases involving pregnant ladies. But for Sharifah's case, just like Zana's, being pregnant and single, and HIV positive to add, there are a whole lot of other problems involved.

From the basic info I managed to get from my colleague who spoke to Sharifah at the clinic, Sharifah is a student at a private college. She hails from another state, and her parents know about her pregnancy. While her mother is willing to accept her back and take care of the baby when she delivers, her father is not on talking terms with her. So I'm not too sure yet how the arrangement is going to be after she delivers.

Right now she's not staying with her parents because she's studying here in Ipoh. She's staying with a group of girls studying in the same college. They had no problem having her as their housemate earlier on despite knowing of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, but after they found out that she was diagnosed HIV positive, they began boycotting her. They are scared to even use the same toilet with her. Thank goodness one of her housemates is rather sympathetic, so for the time being, this friend is her pillar of strength. That's the only friend she has for now.

Hmmm... maybe we Buddies need to find a way to give a talk on HIV/AIDS to students of that private college. Maybe we can approach the management of the college. Obviously awareness on this subject is still very poor.

Anyway, I'd better call Sharifah and arrange to meet up with her so we can have a heart to heart talk. She may have done a huge mistake in her life, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't care about her well being.

So yeah, I think I'll call her today or tomorrow. Hmmm... do I tell her to call me makcik or what??!

*Update: I managed to get hold of Sharifah today. Not wanting to call at the wrong time in case she was in a class or something, I sent her a text message around 5 pm, introducing myself and asking if we could meet up anytime soon. After an hour her reply came - telling me she needed to go back to her hometown today as she had just been dismissed from her college. I am not too sure if the dismissal was due to her HIV or her pregnancy or both. She was already pregnant when she first registered at the college... but she may not have declared her pregnancy then - I don't know for sure, I didn't get to meet her to have a heart to heart talk. However, I offered my help and told her to inform me if she needed assistance. She promised she'd call me back.

Oh no, not again...

Remember some time in November last year, I blogged about how Mrs K tried to borrow money from me? She promised she'd pay me back when she gets her duit kutu. I didn't give in to her request for reasons I already mentioned here.

When I told her off, telling her to spend her money wisely on necessities only, I thought she wouldn't try to borrow from me anymore. Well, 2 days ago, I received a text message from her. Yep, she tried to borrow money again. This time with a longer mendayu-dayu SMS.

She said she took an advance of RM300 from her employer to bring Baby K to IJN last month. Mr K too took an advance but not much since he earns much less. After they came back from KL, Baby K got ill and so Mrs K took one week unpaid leave, leaving her with very little money to spend this month. The bus fares for her 2 schooling daughters have not been paid for the past 2 months and so she's scared the bus driver may not want to take them to school anymore. She also said sometimes she doesn't have enough to buy milk for Baby K. She promised she'd pay me back in early July when she comes to Ipoh. Besides, she said, it has been quite some time since she last met me, and so she "rindu pulak kat akak." Yeah, sure!

Frankly, I do believe she's having a hard time making ends meet. Having to spend quite a lot when they had to bring Baby K to IJN, and having to take unpaid leave for whole week, obviously she doesn't have much left to spend.

But I remember very well when she tried to borrow the last time, she promised to pay when she gets her duit kutu. Well, she was supposed to get her duit kutu in April, the month when she brought Baby K to IJN. If she had really got the money then, there was no need for her to take any advances from her employers to bring the little girl to KL. Unless of course, she borrowed from so many people, promising them to pay by April, and so when she got her duit kutu, she finished the whole amount immediately to pay off her debts. Maybe she didn't even get enough to pay off everyone. And I believe, chances are, if I had lent her some money back then, she wouldn't have paid me.

Now she's promising to pay me in July if I lend her some money. How she is going to get the money to pay me back, I don't know. Maybe borrow from somebody else.

I did get a bit pissed off with the way she worded her SMS this time.

"Sy mnta prtlngan k.zah utk mnylsaikan masalah sy." (She's the only person I know who calls me Kak Zah. Pandai-pandai sendiri je...)

Whoa! She's asking me to settle her financial problem? She gets herself into financial problem and expects somebody else to settle the problem for her? Banyak cantik!

Having said that, I am actually very concerned about her children's schooling. If their bus fares are not paid, and the bus driver refuses to take them to school, chances are they will miss school when they don't have anyone they can tumpang. Nope, not good at all! They need a better future and they must not be deprived of education.

They can easily qualify for our Children Education Fund to cover for their monthly bus fares, and Mrs K doesn't need to pay me back. But knowing Mr & Mrs K's poor financial management, is it advisable to pass the money to them in cash for them to pay the bus driver? Knowing them as the gali lubang, tutup lubang type (dig one hole in the ground and use the soil to cover another hole they dug before... the circle continues), I didn't think it was a good idea. They tend to use money meant for something else to pay for something else instead, thinking that they will be able to pay for the said necessity later... and then later end up not being able to pay for it. (am I making sense?)

And I am not willing to go to their house as early as 7 am or as late as 7 pm so I can pay the bus driver personally! They are after all, staying in another town, not in Ipoh.

After thinking things over, I figured one option is to bank in the money direct into the bus operator's bank account. So I sent a text message to Mrs K, asking her to give me the name and bank account number of the bus operator.

Well, I'm still waiting for her reply. Let's see how it goes, and let's see if she will still try to borrow money from me.

As for buying milk for Baby K, we did help them apply for MAC's Pediatric Aids Fund, which was approved and the money had been banked in monthly into Mrs K's bank account. May not be much, but should be sufficient to buy milk for the little girl. They must have used the money for something else, thinking they would be able to get money from elsewhere to buy the milk.

We want to help them become independent, not dependent on us. We tried getting them a cheaper place to stay in Ipoh, and jobs with higher pay. When they initially agreed to our suggestion, my colleague who went out of his way to apply for a cheap DBI flat for them to rent, actually got the application approved. But because by the time the application got approved, Mr K just got himself a job as a guard near their present home, although not paying much, they thought the additional income from Mr K was enough to cover their needs without having to move to a cheaper place. So they turned down the offer. Jual mahal!

Now they're struggling, they come back to us for help. When will they ever learn?

I wonder if they ever watch Bersamamu. Are they not aware that there are people out there who are worse off?

One woman's husbands, and one guy's wife and girlfriends...

Noticed the plural and singular words used in the title of my posting? No, no typo error there.

I was going through whatever documents given to me by Murni last week to enable me get the necessary assistance for her children's schooling needs. I can't consider her for our sponsorship programme yet before I visit her at home to assess her situation. However, she should easily qualify for our Children Education Fund which covers for one-off payments to the respective schools. No doubt there are no more school fees applicable, so what the schools are doing now is to use other terms as long as they don't use the word fee or "yuran". There's "Bayaran Runcit Sekolah", there's "Bayaran PIBG" which includes the so-called "derma" and not forgetting there's "Bayaran Pelbagai" to cover whatever else they couldn't find a category for.

The total amount that needs to be paid for Murni's 4 schooling children comes up to almost RM500. That's a whole lot of amount for someone who's not working, and whose husband is only doing odd jobs without any fixed income. And to add to that, Murni also has a 1 year old baby whom she can't breastfeed due to her HIV. And Murni's present husband is only the step-father to the 4 schooling children.

Speaking of which, all the while I thought Murni had 5 children from her first husband, then after he died, she remarried. And her present husband is the father to her youngest child. When I looked through copies of her children's birth certs, I was expecting to see 2 different father's names. So when I saw 3 different names, I got a little confused. Her 16 year old daughter has a different father's name, her next 3 children with a different father's name, and the youngest child has another father's name. It seems her present marriage is already Murni's third marriage. The eldest daughter is married, so her birth cert was not given to me... therefore I'm not too sure of her father's name. Who knows, for all I know the present marriage may be Murni's fourth! Besides, there is a 5 year age difference between her first and second daughter, as compared to the 1 to 2 years difference between her next 3 children.

But I'm not going to crack my head thinking about it. I don't usually ask those kind of personal questions unless I have a reason to. For the moment I don't see the need. All I know is that her present husband has been confirmed negative, so Murni must have got HIV from one of her earlier husbands - most likely the one who fathered 3 of her children.

On another note, remember Razif? The guy who didn't know how to break the news of his HIV status to his wife? Well, Razif did finally tell his wife about it although I am not too sure how he did it and how his wife took it. Both he and his wife attended a talk on HIV medication last year which confirmed the fact that he had already told his wife. However, I couldn't attend that talk as I had to be in KL the same day. As such I did not get to meet Razif nor his wife to find out more about the wife. My colleague who attended the talk couldn't give me much info - not even on the wife's HIV status. He only told me the wife "looked okay". Duh! Someone else was assigned as Razif's buddy so I didn't want to be menyibuking away calling him up.

To my surprise, Razif himself called me up this morning. He found out from Majid (one of our trainee volunteers who's also a PLHIV) about the PLHIV sharing session planned to be held next week at our center. Since Majid, who's still relatively new to our NGO, didn't dare give an affirmative "Yes, you can attend" answer, Razif called me up to ask if it is okay for him and his wife to attend. But of course, the main target audience for the session is the PLHIVs themselves, so we welcome Razif and wife very much if they intend to attend. I took the opportunity to ask Razif about his wife without making it too obvious that I wanted to know if his wife was tested positive. But the moment Razif mentioned that his wife's CD4 was about 200+, I immediately knew the answer. My next concern now, since the wife is positive, is whether the children are tested - especially the youngest child who is 6 years old this year. I personally know of 3 children who were only diagnosed +ve when they were about 5 or 6 years of age (because it was only then that the mothers were found out to be positive); so yes, I am very concerned about Razif's child.

Razif has yet to bring his children for blood tests. Hopefully he will do so soon. He no longer has the problem of having to break the news to his wife; so he shouldn't be delaying the tests for his children.

So, how did he finally tell his wife? And what was his wife's reaction when he told her? Frankly I don't know. I didn't want to ask Razif on the phone about such matters. Besides, I was in my office when he called this morning, what would my staff think if they heard me talking about any "pinggan mangkuk melayang" or similar situations. For the record, Razif got infected because of his extra marital activities, and when I met Razif the first time, he did mention that he wasn't sure if his wife knew about his many girlfriends.

Well, both Razif and his wife will be coming for the session next week, so I hope to be able to talk to his wife then, and assess for myself if the wife needs a buddy for herself.