Another break

Folks, I will be taking another break – hopefully to settle the matter which was supposed to have been settled during my last break!

I will still be joining the Buddies Family Day in Taiping Zoo tomorrow, although I will have to leave early (after lunch) as I need to go to KL after that. I hope that will not stop me from taking lots of photos at the zoo…

I may not have the time (and mood) to blog but if I have the opportunity I may just post some photos during my break. The “gossip” part of the Family Day (especially the part where Yah meets Lin!!) will have to come later, okay?

CIAO!!

Aduhai Ifa...

No, that's not a title of another song to compete with Mawi's "Aduh Saleha". That's actually the best I can come up with to summarize how I feel about Ifa right now.

As mentioned in my previous posting, I was going to meet up with Ifa aka Baby yesterday. I told her I would be free after 2.30pm and asked her to specify the place and time. She was the one who fixed it to be at 3.00pm at a particular place.

I got to the specified place 2 minutes before 3.00pm. I figured since Ifa was the one who wanted to see me so much, she should be there early. But I waited and waited, after 10 minutes Ifa was nowhere to be seen. Now, those who know me well would know how particular I am about punctuality. OK lah, give and take 5 to 10 minutes still acceptable. More than that, you'd better have a good excuse.

At 3.10pm I decided to call Ifa. Maybe she got stuck somewhere or something cropped up last minute and she hadn't had the opportunity to inform me. When she answered my call and I asked her where she was, her answer was, "Ifa kat rumah ni, tengah makan. Akak tunggu lah kejap ya?"

Waaa... banyak cantik lu punya muka!

I decided to go off elsewhere nearby to run some errands. I drove back 15 minutes later and she just arrived!

"Kenapa lambat sangat?" I asked.

"Tadi Ifa tengah makan."

"Ye lah, dah janji nak jumpa pukul 3 janganlah pukul 3 baru nak makan!"

(hehehe... nasiblah kena lecture dengan head prefect...)

Yesterday being a weekday, I figured either she took leave from work or she was no longer working.

Me: Cuti ke atau dah berhenti kerja?

Ifa: Dah berhenti.

Me: Kenapa?

Ifa: Ada masalah sikit.

Me: Masalah apa pulak?

Ifa: Hari tu Ifa kena tangkap khalwat.

Oh okay, so she got caught for khalwat.

HA?? Khal-WHAT??!!

Ifa was then staying at a rented house alone in the town where she used to work. She then wanted to move to Ipoh and needed to pack her things. So she got her boyfriend to help her out with the packing. After all the hard work done, she offered him to spend the night there. And that very same night, a few pegawai pencegah maksiat came over. The house she was staying in was a Malay neighborhood, so I suppose someone must have skodeng them. I bet that wasn't the first time Ifa's boyfriend spent the night at her house.

Anyway, after being called to the Pejabat Agama a few days later, they were told to get married by hook or by crook. Which is not really a problem since both of them are agreeable to it. The boyfriend had all along knew about Ifa's HIV but he still accepted Ifa. His family had no problems about him marrying Ifa (they don't know that Ifa is HIV infected). Ifa's mother and sisters had no problems about Ifa marrying this guy either.

So what's the problem? The problem is Ifa needs her father, as the wali, to sign the form. And while her father did not mengamuk upon hearing about Ifa being caught for khalwat, he refused to sign the required form to allow Ifa to marry this guy. Nobody could coax him - not Ifa's mom, not Ifa's siblings, not Ifa's uncle. To him, if he says something is white, that means it's white even though in reality it's actually yellow. If he says something is black, that means it's black even though in reality it's actually blue.

Besides the need to get her father to sign the form, Ifa also needs to get 2 male witnesses as well. Better if the witnesses are family members, or at least some friends will do. Just get those who know Ifa to become the witness. Ifa couldn't get anyone willing to become the witness either. Well, not that Ifa didn't have any male relatives or male friends; and it's not that they didn't want to help Ifa out. It's just that they didn't dare become the witness because they're scared of Ifa's father. Wow! This must be one fierce man!

Ifa has informed the kadi about her predicament. The kadi said Ifa and her boyfriend still need to get married before their khalwat case is heard in the syariah court. The pejabat kadi will write a letter to Ifa's father to get his consent, if he doesn't reply then the officers will go to meet him at his house, and if he still refuses, they will arrange for Ifa to get married through a wali hakim.

Both Ifa and her boyfriend also had to do a blood test of course. Although they both already know about Ifa's HIV status, the pejabat agama people don't. Oh I bet when they do get the result, Ifa and her boyfriend will both be called for a long counseling (read: lecture) session. So far her boyfriend's test results are negative, but he will have to do another test after 3 months since it is still within window period.

One good thing I noticed is that Ifa is no longer the crying and whining type like she used to be when I first knew her. But the thing that's bothering me now is what she does to release tension. Her friends coaxed her to join them at the disco. I think she's getting quite hooked to it already. No, not the disco, but the ecstasy pills she takes when at the disco!

Yes, Ifa admitted to me that she took ecstasy. Another thing about Ifa is that when she opens up to me, she tells all. No info held back - unlike some of my clients who'd only tell certain details when cornered.

I asked her if it occurred to her she may get caught in another raid - this time at the disco. Her answer? "Takde, disco ni kawasan Cina."

Woi girl! I was not talking about Jabatan Agama raid lah, I was talking about police raid! Ecstasy pills, remember?? First, she got caught for khalwat and now she's putting herself in danger of getting caught for taking ecstasy pills.

She hasn't even settled one problem yet, she's putting herself in another vulnerable situation. How I wish I can whack her head off to get some sense back into her. But really, is it her fault entirely?

Remember she had already at one time stopped taking drugs? She stayed at her parents' home but never got family support. She needed care and love but she was not getting any. So when she moved out to work in another town, and her boyfriend offered her love, without hesitation she accepted his love.

Then after this khalwat problem, her father still became a stumbling block. She got all stressed again. So she resorted to friends who brought her to the disco and gave her ecstasy pills. She felt better. All her problems out of her mind at least temporarily.

Aduhai Ifa...

New clients, old clients...

During my last clinic duty, after our new client Devi left the counseling room, the three of us (the volunteers) were discussing who would be the best person to be assigned as Devi’s buddy. Somehow one of the volunteers suggested me.

I have lost count of the number of clients I now have while there are a few other buddies who only have one or two clients, yet he still suggested that I become Devi’s buddy?? When I asked him why, he said it’s because Devi’s case is quite complicated with lots of problems attached.

Waaa… banyak cantik… any complicated cases pass to me eh?

We finally decided to pass the client to another female buddy who has been assigned only one client so far. She can always consult me or any other fellow volunteers if need be. If she is not assigned any problematic cases then how on earth is she going to be exposed to this kind of cases?

On the same day, SN gave me the number of a HIV+ couple. The couple’s appointment at the hospital never coincided with our clinic duty and so they have never been referred to us. But SN felt they needed help and so she asked me to call them. Apparently their families (both sides) have disowned them. I did call a few days back and managed to speak to the wife. She seemed receptive enough. I told her to call me the next time she comes to Ipoh so I can talk to them face to face and discuss whatever problems. She said her next appointment in Ipoh will be in early September.

Later the same day, the husband called. I suppose he was not home when I called earlier and when his wife told him about my offer to help them, he decided to call me himself. He asked if I knew what kind of disease he and his wife are infected with. After confirming that I indeed knew, he asked if they could meet me earlier, say some time in mid-August. I told him to call before-hand whenever they decide to come. Even if I am not around in Ipoh I can always get another volunteer to meet up with them.

More about the couple after I get to meet them…

This morning while I was in my office I got a text message from Ifa.

“Kak, Ifa nak minta tolong sikit boleh tak. Ifa nak jumpa akak pasal ada hal penting yang nak baby katakan.”

I had to reread the message. I lost focus when I saw the word baby. What? Baby?! Is she having a baby? Alamak, she’s still single! Is this going to be another Zana??

Then suddenly I remembered vaguely that her family calls her Baby. Oh okay, she's the baby then… :)

But still… this is the first time she uses the name Baby when communicating with me. Since when did she become so manja?

Never mind, I will be meeting my overgrown baby tomorrow to listen to her problems. Nothing too serious I hope.

Family Day preparations

Yah finally called me a few days ago. She didn’t quite understand what my colleague told her on the details for the coming Family Day and so she finally decided to call me. Thank goodness she did. Otherwise on that day she’d be waiting elsewhere while we’d be waiting for her in Ipoh.

From what my colleague told me earlier, Yah would be going from Ipoh together with the rest of us. Yah on the other hand, was under the impression that she’d have to go to Taiping and we’d be picking her up there. I suppose the communication breakdown was due to wrong assumptions. My colleague, assuming that Yah was still working in Ipoh, told her to wait near a particular private hospital in Ipoh. Yah thought the hospital is in Taiping.

The confusion is all cleared now. Yah is no longer working in Ipoh as her mother has been bedridden and as such is no longer capable to take care of Yah’s 2 younger kids. So Yah had to go back to her hometown further up north, not only to take care of her kids, but also her mother. Her 2 older daughters, who are staying at an orphanage won’t be joining the Family Day trip. Oh by the way, despite complaining about certain things at their orphanage (biasalah, budak dok asrama mesti ada complain punya!), in their recent exams, they both got 1st in class. Way to go girls!

Anyway, since Yah is already up north, she might as well go straight to the zoo and wait for us there.

I told Fuzi that although her house is slightly north of Ipoh, our chartered bus from Ipoh will be taking the highway and as such will not pass her place. I told her to figure out the best option for her and the kids. She is one of my earlier clients and has been getting a lot of assistance since she became our client, and so this time I thought I’d let her solve the problem herself. Cannot manja-manja her too much. After all, it’s not too complicated a problem. Well, she has already made arrangements to come to Ipoh on the 3rd of August so we don’t have to worry about having someone going in a separate car using the old road just to fetch her.

Hana and Jah who stays in a town south of Ipoh, also Shila & Laila, Pushpa & her grandma plus Valli’s kids will be coming to Ipoh by bus early in the morning and we will have our volunteers waiting for them at the bus station. Valli has not confirmed if she herself can join the trip but her 2 boys aged 14 and 12 are definitely coming. They will be under our care for that day.

Actually I was more concerned about Lin. This is her first time joining and none of the other volunteers know her and neither does she know any of the volunteers except myself. If anyone had to wait for her at the bus station, it will have to be me. But when I called her to confirm, she said she and her kids will go straight to our meet-up point. I like this woman – very independent. And it is good to note that even her grown up children (aged 17, 19 and 22) are joining us. I look forward to meeting them all.

For the moment, it looks as though I will be joining this year’s Family Day after all. But in the event I have to give it a miss, I don’t have to worry about the logistics for my clients anymore.

I do hope I will be able to join though. It has been a long time since I last went to visit my “friends” at the zoo… :) I hope to be taking lots of photos this time.

I was told they can make special arrangements if we want to take pictures with the python. Taking pictures OF the python is not a problem for me, but WITH the python?? Hmmm… would I be daring enough to do that? Sounds like a FEAR FACTOR episode to me…

Macam orang nak pergi ke bulan...

An elderly couple (who also happen to be relatives) came over to my house a few days ago to visit my mother. They thought my mother had already undergone her knee operation and so they thought they’d come by to see how she was doing.

Anyway, we got to chat from one topic to another. Somehow the topic of handling dead bodies of the HIV infected came into the picture. I can’t quite recall how the topic came about in our conversation, but this man is a former imam and used to be the person people would call to help bathe the bodies of male Muslims, although he had never handled any HIV infected bodies before (well, at least not that he knew of lah…).

He mentioned how a friend of his had to “pakai macam orang nak pergi ke bulan” when bathing the body of an HIV infected person. (I am imagining this Pak Imam wearing something like what Sheikh Muszaphar wore… I bet he can hardly move!) When I told him there was no such need, he said, “Eh idak… ni yang ada AIDS. AIDS dengan HIV tu berbeza.”

Obviously he thought this “budak berhingus yang baru dua tiga kali mandikan jenazah” didn’t even know the difference between AIDS and HIV. Well, I don’t go around telling people that I'm involved in HIV/AIDS voluntary work (except maybe in this blog) so he probably thought I’m just as ignorant as so many other people.

I did try to tell him what I knew, but nope, he didn’t buy it. Can’t really blame him, he would rather believe the friend who actually bathed the body of an HIV infected person before. He even said, “Lepas tu nanti masa kebumi tu, kena tabur dulu klorin dalam kubur tu!”

No point telling him about how HIV actually spreads, about it not being air borne, etc. I guess for awareness programmes, we’d have to concentrate on the younger generation. For people like this Pak Imam, all the misconceptions about HIV/AIDS are already etched in their minds.

So I thought today I’d just write about a few basic things in the handling of HIV infected bodies, particularly Muslims, based on the guidelines from the health aspect provided by Cawangan AIDS/STD, Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia, with the cooperation of JAKIM.

Latex gloves need to be worn whether you are handling a normal or an HIV infected body. No difference there. Masks, plastic apron and rubber boots is not a must but encouraged for BOTH normal and infected bodies. The only difference is that a little bit of bleach (like Clorox) is to be added to the first round of water poured over the body. The purpose? When bleach (which contains Sodium Hypochloride) is added to water, chlorine is produced and this would kill the virus. This is actually just a precaution, particularly for bodies with skin diseases – HIV doesn’t live outside of the human body anyway.

As for precautions to be taken after handling the bodies (like cleaning up yourself etc after everything's done), basically the same precautions need to be taken after handling both infected and non-infected bodies. Besides, how can we be so sure the body we’re handling is not infected? Maybe the person him/herself never knew he/she was infected, right?

So no, you don’t have to wear something “macam orang nak pergi ke bulan”! (I kinda like the phrase though…)

As for the need of pouring chlorine inside the grave, the answer is a clear no. So the guy who actually poured chlorine inside the grave was probably just paranoid.

Maybe the requirements are different if we’re dealing with air borne infectious diseases like SARS and the likes. Probably for these cases, they don't even allow to bring the body back home. But since I don’t know much about the other infectious diseases, I shall not go into that…