THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Settling down…

It’s almost the end of January. I’m done with all the back-to-school stuff except maybe for a few more additional payments here and there for a few families. The children seemed to have settled down including the ones in boarding schools or hostels.

Maya’s daughter who went to a fully residential school, initially called her mother during the first week, crying and asking for her mother to take her home, but during the CNY break, Maya told me that her daughter is okay now and in fact is beginning to enjoy the activities at the school.

As for Azman, Sofie’s son, after sending him to the culinary school, I will not make it a habit to visit him often although it’s just in Ipoh. I want him to become independent. Besides if need be, he can always call/SMS me, and if I feel that I should, then I’d go and see him. If I feel that what he’s asking for is something he can settle for himself, I shall let him settle it himself. I’m not here to spoil them rotten, I’m just helping them seek a brighter future for themselves so they can become independent. I do hope that Azman’s enthusiasm will continue until he completes the whole course and will not end up as hangat-hangat tahi ayam (google translated that as “warm-hot chicken droppings”).

Wina, Fuzi’s daughter, will be sitting for her SPM this year, and being someone who is keen to do well in her studies, had already arranged for tuition for herself. She is under our Education Sponsorship program, so the tuition fees will be covered by her sponsor. Her ambition is to become an accountant. I hope she will succeed. Wina is Fuzi’s hope to do well and to take care of her younger siblings should anything happen to Fuzi.

As I had always mentioned, our intention is to help these families become independent. I don’t intend to help them all their lives. In fact, although I still do keep in touch with Lin, I no longer visit her as often because I see that the family is doing okay now with 2 of her daughters already working. Yes, her 2 younger children are still under sponsorship but at least I don’t have to worry much about them.

Of course, there are families who, the more you help them, the more they become dependent on you even though your intention was to help them become independent. The K’s for example, would still from time to time attempt to borrow money although I never gave in. We only help out with their children’s educational needs, not anything else. Both of them are working – no doubt they don’t earn much, but still, they should spend according to their budget.

I still remember asking Hana to list down her children’s educational needs. She mentioned a few things in her list, stuff like books, bus fares etc, and at the end of her list, she wrote, “Motosikal RM2,500.” Errrk!

Then there was Rosnah, who bought a second hand car when her husband was still alive, so she could easily transport him to the hospital for his appointments. After her husband’s death, she wasn’t willing to part with the car. Okay, understandable. But just because we helped out with her daughter’s schooling needs, she asked if we could help out to pay for her car repairs.

Ah yes, sometimes you help them by giving, sometimes you help them by NOT giving. I just hope I will make the right decisions in determining whether or not to give.

Whatever it is, as coordinator for our Children Education Fund & Education Sponsorship, life is not so hectic for me as it was at the end of last year and early this year. It had however been quite a while since I went for my house visits, and since the schooling matters are almost settled, maybe I should start planning for my house visits - especially those whom I have not visited for quite some time.

BUT… before that, I shall first take a break… my kind of break… I shall go into adventure mode!! I already have some plans with my adventure loving friends over the weekend, so yep, coming right up….

fun ahead

1 comment:

Trina said...

I agree, sometimes tough love can be more difficult to give. I remember when I needed new windscreens Perth. I was upset that people refused to help me, but I realized that I wouldn't have stood on my own if they hadn't done that.