Once upon a time, back in 2007, when I wrote about Yah’s episode with Mr Darling… about how he proposed to her during their first meet, about how Yah simply gave her phone number to him, and about how after that Mr Darling started calling her and sending her text messages in the middle of the night, many of my blog readers told me to let them be. They’re both adults, they said, and since they’re both HIV+, then maybe they understand each other, bla, bla, bla. You can read the posting here. I wasn’t in favour of it because to me, it meant trouble.
At that time I had not yet been introduced to Lin, Mr D’s ex-wife, who only came into the picture in late 2007, after Yah had started going angau over Mr D.
To cut the story short, when Yah sort of started to stalk Mr D, he distanced himself from her. Thank goodness. It took quite some time for Yah to regain her sanity, but now she has started working and her children are all back staying with her again. Mr D tried to coax Lin to remarry him, to no avail. So finally he ended up marrying somebody else who never came into the picture before. I’m not even sure if the lady knew of his HIV status, or if she was a PLHIV herself, all I know is that she has a daughter from her earlier marriage.
Recently, during the PLHIV gathering we organised at the Ipoh GH, Lin pulled me aside and told me about Mr D raping his stepdaughter. We couldn’t really talk much then, since there were people around, so I didn’t really get much details. During one of my clinic duties after that, I did see Mr D, but he pretended he didn’t know who I was (we only met once at Lin’s house when he went to visit his children). When I met the nurse after that, the nurse said Mr D just told her that he was no longer with his wife, without giving much details. All he said was, “Susahlah, orang dah tak nak…”
I used to visit Lin on a regular basis last year – every month without fail to deliver groceries donated by a club. But the groceries supply was only until December last year, and after that Lin’s older children began to complete their studies, with 2 of them already working now, so I don’t really have to worry about supply of groceries for the family. They can already survive on their own. So I have reduced my visits to Lin’s house so I can concentrate on other needy cases.
Well, today I went to visit Lin again. Lin and her daughters are coming for the Family Day – they now have their own transport but they don’t know the way to the venue. So I figured the best way to explain to her how to get there is to meet her face to face. It won’t be easy explaining to her on the phone.
Oh well, since I’d need to fetch for some other families at the Ipoh bus station in the morning, Lin finally decided to wait at the bus station, and then just follow my car to the Family Day venue. Duh, that one I could have just told her on the phone…
But then again, I had not visited her at home for some time anyway, so it was still worth a visit. At least I could get more updates on her children.
I also took the opportunity to ask about Mr Darling’s case. None of her children were around, so Lin could be more open with me. Actually Lin herself knew all the story from her children since she herself did not see her ex-husband.
Lin and her children had not known that Mr Darling had to spend one whole week in the lock-up when he was remanded after his wife lodged a report against him for molesting her 14 year daughter, his stepdaughter. So one fine day, Mr Darling called his 3rd daughter, who had by then started working, to come and fetch him from the police-station. Thinking that all she had to do was to fetch him, the daughter went, only to find out that she had to BAIL him out. And so she did, albeit, reluctantly.
Mr Darling then stayed with his mother, his wife filed for divorce, and his stepdaughter taken back to her home-state, away from him.
Then one day, Mr D called his daughters asking to meet up with them, but outside, not at their grandma’s house where he’s staying. Apparently he wanted to tell them his version of the story before they heard from anybody else.
You’d probably think he’d tell them that he didn’t do anything much, that the report made to the police was brought out of proportion etc, but to my dismay, he actually told them that he stripped his stepdaughter’s clothes off to teach her a lesson… because she’s a bohsia. Only problem was he spoke in thick Perak dialect and the girls weren’t too sure of the meaning of certain words, and therefore they are not too sure if he had actually raped her, or he had inserted his fingers.
Anyway, even if he did not plead guilty to rape, he’s still guilty of molesting the girl. And even if it’s true the girl is such a bad girl, that didn’t give him the right to do what he did! And knowing his history of sleeping around with women even when he was still married to Lin, I doubt he didn’t satisfy his sex needs after seeing the girl totally naked.
What I don’t understand was how he could have told this to his own daughters – as though he didn’t do much wrong because the girl was a bad girl. She’s only 14 for heaven’s sake!!
His eldest daughter had never been fond of her father. This episode makes her hate him even more.
As it is, he is already making it sound as though his daughters “tak mengenang budi” because they don’t visit him at their grandma’s house.
Well, let’s just wait for the outcome of the case. Mr D now has to go to 2 different courts including the Syariah court for his divorce case. Not forgetting he has to report himself from time to time at the police station until the case is heard in court.
Mr Darling… Mr Darling… you can’t blame your children for staying away from you. First you gave HIV to their mother… they saw how their mother suffered right before their very eyes. And after the divorce, you didn’t bother to help them out financially either even though they are your children. And now THIS? You’re lucky they still agreed to see you when you asked to see them. Stop trying to make them feel guilty by saying they are anak durhaka. You are the one who should feel guilty, not them!