THEY WILL ASK thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof." - Al-Baqarah (2:215)

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Depa buat dah…

I got the following SMS from Mrs K on the last day of 2009…

“Salam..maaf mgangu kzah mula2 pdh terasa susah sbb harapkan gji abg duit deposit umh 500 nak byr abg dpt gji 10hb itupun gaji x sampai 5rts lori 2trip 140 shah bru kja gji ckt nk byr buat pasport saya x tau mcmana nk cri duit nk pjm kt siapa mula nk pndh”

First and foremost, I always need a bit more time than usual to comprehend text messages such as this. No comma, no fullstop… although this time I understood the SMS terms better.

Basically she was telling me her sad story about being short of cash. What she was trying to do was to borrow money from me.

I have told her before that I wouldn’t be entertaining any requests from her to borrow money. We (Buddies) are already helping her with her children’s educational needs; when Baby K had to do a heart surgery in IJN, we helped out with some pocket money during their stay in KL using our Welfare Fund. They can’t expect us to be their financial provider for every single thing. Certain things they would have to find the solutions themselves. When will they ever learn? We’re here to help them become independent, not dependent! It’s not like they are totally helpless. Mr K is already able to work. Their eldest son has also recently started to work although I had recommended that he joined Giat Mara to enhance his skills.

What I advise them to do, for their own future, they never listen. Now they want to borrow money? NO WAY!

But no, this time I changed my tactic. I did not go into my leter mode. Instead, I went into my McDonno mode. ;-)

Well, I did tell her before that I wouldn’t entertain any requests from her family to borrow money. So that was what I did. I didn’t entertain her. I didn’t even bother to reply her SMS. Make donno je lah…

Guess what? Maybe my tactic worked this time. Without even me having to say anything, yesterday another text message came from Mrs K…

“Kzah, minta maap anta msj aritu…”

I guess she could sense that I was getting pissed off. Of course I was pissed off. Yes, they don’t earn much I agree, but I know many other people who earn much less and yet never tried to borrow money from anyone. People who are worse off, like Sofie for example, would just cope with whatever that she had.

Again, I didn’t respond to this second message from Mrs K. From my past experience with this family, whenever I don’t respond to their call for help, somehow they’d still manage.

What I regret is that they still don’t seem to learn from past mistakes. The moment they get their hands on some cash, they’d spend like there’s no tomorrow. They knew way in advance that they’d have to move out of their house by year end, yet they never made any plans for it, hoping that when the time comes, someone would somehow help them out. Yes, I do believe in tawakkal, but where’s their ikhtiar which should come before that?

My hope right now is that their children will benefit from our Children Education Fund. With the schooling help that we’re giving, I hope the children will strive to do well in their studies so that a better future awaits them. I don’t want the younger children to end up like Shah, their eldest brother who not only failed miserably for his SPM, he’s also passing the opportunity to study in Pusat Giat Mara to enhance his skills and knowledge in the automotive field. He wants to work NOW so he could start earning an income as soon as possible.

Shah has followed his friend to work in another state down south. And since he and his friend intend to work in the neighboring country down south, he’s trying to save money to enable himself to pay for a passport.

Frankly, I doubt Shah’s decision to work in another state would help the family in any way. He needs to pay for his own house rental and other living expenses. And mind you, without much to offer in qualification and experience, he’s not earning much. Maybe all he wanted was to get out of the house and stay on his own.

Which is sad, really. I could see that Shah had the interest in the automotive field. When he was staying with his parents, sometimes his friends would come over to get him to repair their motorbikes. If only he’d spend just 6 months to attend Giat Mara’s training (the family didn’t need to pay for fees whatsoever… in fact the trainees would be getting a monthly allowance of RM200), he’d probably be able to earn more when he finishes his training, maybe even start his own bengkel motor.

But no, they never seem to think long term.

I do hope I’m wrong though. I still hope Shah will succeed and will be able to help his family out.

16 comments:

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aunty Pi,
At least they don't turn up at your door, wait for you and ask to borrow money...that usually happens to Mama and Dad! As people say, sabo ajelah.... purrr...meow!

Daphne Ling said...

HI Kak Pi,

Just dropping by to wish you and family a Happy New Year. Hope all's well with you =) See you in a few months?

Pi Bani said...

C-i-S,
Turn up at my door? Oh no, one of the basic things we always tell our volunteers is never to tell our clients where we stay. This is one of the reasons. They only have access to our phone numbers and our Buddies centre.

Pi Bani said...

Daph,
Happy new year to you too! Bila you mau balik?

Typhoon Sue said...

sms lingo like that makes my eyes roll inside my head
If u start giving them money, teruklah u nak layan they'all after this. they'll keep coming for more and will never learn to fend for themselves. That's y lending money to your case subjects are a definite no-no, right? Bagi betis nak peha, bagi peha nak apa lak nanti...:-)
Happy New Year dear..

Pi Bani said...

Sue,
Alangkan I never entertain them pun they're still attempting to borrow, kalau I pernah bagi lagilah teruk kot! Yes, that's another rule we tell our volunteers - DON'T lend money to our clients. Bagi betis nak peha, bagi peha nak *toot* (censored).
;-)

ruby ahmad said...

Salam Pi,

Happyyy New Year.

Hoping for a good 2010 for all of us. Keep up your good work. Not many can do what you do.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

whoaa...hati mesti mau keras to ignore such plea from her. But I'm with you la kak Pi, there are times when you just need to put your foot down or lessons will never be learned. At the end of the day its for their own benefit, its about making your way through hardship.

Pi Bani said...

K.Ruby,
Happy new year to you too. May we all succeed with whatever that we do.

Pi Bani said...

Kerp,
Hatiku, kepalaku... memang keras jangan tak tau. Kalau cair dengan pujuk rayu macam tu, memang kena pijak kepala la jawabnya. Apa orang kata... being cruel to be kind?

Kak Ezza@makcik Blogger said...

salam P I

Anak saya ramai, tapi yang berkerja cuma sorang..masa nak buka sekolah dan masa nak raya ada lah saat yang perit..tapi suami saya cakap kita pakai apa yang ada saja...jangan lah nak ikut orang lain...mana yang kita mampu kita beli..kita beli laa kalau tak , tak payah...jangan suka meminta minta pada orang lain,sb orang lain pun ada masaalah jugak..

Lama lama tabiat begitu dan serasi dengan kehidupan kami...

Penyakit suka meminjam dan buat buat lupa nak bayar ni bahaya bukan saja pada kita takut anak anak pun terikut sama bila mereka dewasa...kena jaga bende2 macam ni...

budak2 lepas spm ni memang gian nak kerja saja..tak mo belaajr lagi tapi bila dapat gaji kecik dan dia merokok..mana cukup nak tolong mak bapak..minta lagi ada laa...

Pi Bani said...

Ezza,
Tu lah pasal... nasib baiklah bukan semua the families I'm helping are like that. Kalau semua jenis macam tu, mau I dah berhenti dari this voluntary work kot. Ni tak, bila dapat keluar duit EPF, gelap mata. Belanja sakan macamkan duit tu takkan habis. Bila kena macam ni kan payah?

Tapi I memang buat degil - NO WAY am I gonna start lending them money.

mamasita said...

If only Shah dengar sikit cakap you..go for that 6 months training..kan senang.Boleh bukak business kecik or dapat gaji lebih kalau keje kat bengkel..degil betul!

Pi Bani said...

Mamasita,
I think it's not just Shah. Parents pun sama lebih suka dia kerja cepat dengan harapan dapat tumpang duit gaji dia. Habis semua-semua tak nak dengar kata, abih camno?

Salt N Turmeric said...

Pi, Happy New Year! Family yg i paling tak berkenan. hehe. Good for you for still putting your foot down. Diorang tu cukup duit. Theyr just the type who likes to mintak duit fr other ppl. Kalau pun ada orang bagi 10k/mth pun they will still find a way to finish it off and pinjam more.

Pi Bani said...

Farina,
Memang diorang ni tak reti langsung nak manage finances. Dah tu degil pulak tak nak dengar nasihat orang for their future. Semua pikir short term - bila dapat duit pun pikir belanja short term je. Sekejap aje duit gaji dah habis!