The hospital visit

The maknyah who called earlier had called our hotline number again. My colleague who's currently holding the phone then informed me about it. Again the caller, S, sought help, saying that the friend, D, who was by then hospitalised, probably needed counselling help. S asked if any of us would be visiting.

Problem was, S only mentioned D's "nama glamour" and not the real name. When I asked my colleague for details like which ward etc, she didn't know. She had to wait for S to contact her again. I told her to get S to call me direct.

On Wednesday about 6 pm S called me. It was difficult to get the true picture on D's situation by just talking to S on the phone, so I promised to visit. It would be much easier to visit while D was at the hospital. But it was too late to visit on Wednesday so I said I'd try to visit yesterday. S told me the visiting hours for the district hospital was from 3.30 to 6.30 pm. So we promised to meet up at the hospital about 3.30 pm. I then contacted one of our trainee volunteers who's also a PLHIV to ask him to come along with me if he's free. He agreed. At least if the HIV+ maknyah insisted that I wouldn't understand because I'm not HIV positive, I could use the trainee volunteer as an example of an HIV positive person with positive thinking.

So yes, yesterday, at about 3.15 pm we made a move from Ipoh. We got to the hospital about 3.50 pm only to find out that visiting hours were actually from 5 to 6 pm. Duh! S was nowhere to be seen either. The doors to the wards were locked and only authorised personnel would be able to open the door from outside with their card.

However we managed to get in after explaining to the nurses that we were from a support group.

D was in a 1st class room - a single room. Thank goodness. It would be difficult to talk P&C stuff in a general ward. D was sleeping when we got into the room, but his mother was there to take care of him, so we talked to the mother to get more info.

Apparently D never told his mother about his HIV+ result earlier. He had already got the referral letter to see the ID specialist in Ipoh but he never went. Since his mother never knew about it, she was in no position to coax him to go. Looking at his condition, relatives believed it was 'buatan orang' and decided to bring D see a bomoh up north. His mother didn't go.

After coming back from the bomoh, D began to say nonsensical stuff. At times he'd try to run away from home, to the extent that his mother would sleep at the front door to make sure he doesn't escape. Once he did manage to escape early morning around 4 am. But after subuh, his mother saw him outside the house, shivering. When his mother asked, he just said, "Setan hantar balik, tu hah, tak nampak setan kat situ?", pointing his finger to a direction. Nobody was there.

When I asked D's mother if D had been feeling depressed before this, the mother said it was difficult to say because D never seem to share his problems with family members. It would probably be better to ask his fellow maknyah friends.

I was hoping I'd be able to meet S but he never turned up. Maybe he did turn up later but I couldn't wait. I was about to leave when D finally woke up from his sleep. His mother told him, "Ni hah, ustazah datang..."

I looked at D, D looked at me, and then D said, "Ni bukan ustazah!" (He could tell I wasn't one, compared to some people who seem to think I'm one just by my looks!)

I asked him how he was feeling. He didn't say anything. After a while he began to make faces. Upon seeing that, his mother said to me, "Tu nak mula merepek lah tu. Puan cubalah cakap dengan dia." But D still didn't say anything, he just looked at his mother. It was only after his mother hid behind the curtains that D began to talk to me.

However he was imagining things and talking all sorts of nonsense. "Doktor tu dah silap potong kaki saya... tapi lepas tu dia dah ganti dengan kaki lain. Yang heran tu mana pergi kaki asli saya?" (No such thing happened, he never had any surgery before this.)

"Ni kaki betul lah ni... kalau kaki palsu takkan ada luka-luka ni", I responded. "Ye ke?" he said.

I then asked if he felt any pain.

D: "Sakit lain takde lah, sakit hati ada!"

Me: "Sakit hati dengan siapa pulak?"

D: "Dengan mak saya."

Me: "Apasal pulak sakit hati dengan mak?"

D: "Dia saja nak buat saya sakit."

Me: "Mana D tau? Takkanlah mak nak buat macam tu!"

D: "Ye betul. Dia suka dengar cakap Fatimah. Fatimahlah yang hasut dia. Tiap-tiap hari dia datang. Tadi pun dia ada datang."

Me: "Fatimah tu siapa pulak?"

D: "Setan."

DUH!

Fatimah is a character in D's imagination. And nobody came to visit earlier in the day as claimed by D.

D kept on talking about some other stuff as well. Some made sense, some didn't. But even the ones that did make sense were not necessarily true.

Personally I think D's problem is not just HIV. He has some other personal problems as well which he had not been sharing with anybody. He had been thinking about his problems too much, he is beginning to imagine things which aren't happening.

D's mother then sought my opinion. I told her to continue with hospital treatment, but that maybe she should also seek the help of a proper ustaz, to help D spiritually. Whatever she decided I told her if possible to avoid the services of bomohs. After seeing the results of the recent visit to a bomoh, D's mother didn't argue with me on this point.

Based on my observations, I believe this is the same maknyah Sofie had been telling me about as mentioned in my previous posting. Of course I didn't tell either D or his mother that there were talks about him spreading around.

Before we left, I took down the phone number of D's mother. I also left her my name card and told her to call me if need be.

I then told D to hang in there and not to give up hope. D just nodded. I didn't get to see S, but I do hope he will call me soon. I think it is important to talk to D's close friends to find out more.