Apa sakit?

Almost every morning, if it doesn't rain, and if I don't have any early morning assignments elsewhere, I'd be outside my house, doing any of the m's... menyapu, menebas, menyangkul, meracun, mencantas, menebang, mesin rumput and whatever other m's I consider as my 'exercise kampong', before I get ready to go to my office. The list used to include membasuh kereta, but of late, since the existence of the RM3 snow car wash right at the junction going in & out of my kampong, I now wash my car while sitting at the driver's seat, on my way to work. For RM3, it's worth missing the exercise... :-)

Anyway, due to my daily routine, any calls coming in on my hand phone before 8.30 in the morning would usually be unanswered. And any SMS coming in during that time would be replied rather late.

Yesterday, after my usual morning routine, I came in and saw the red light on my phone blinking instead of the green light. That's a notification that there was either a missed call or unread message or a reminder of an appointment. I checked my phone, and noticed there was one missed call and one unread message - both coming from Shila. She had actually sent the SMS earlier, and after not getting any replies within half an hour, she decided to call. That was the unanswered call. I was wondering what the urgent matter was that she couldn't wait for my reply to her SMS.

I read her message - her nose was bleeding, and so she asked me what was wrong with her. She said she was scared.

Yep, some of these PLHIV clients of mine do tend to consult me on things which they should be consulting a doctor instead. In fact there are still people out there who think that I actually work at the hospital. However, Shila knows very well that I'm just a volunteer whose job has nothing to do with the medical line.

Well, I was not about to give my opinion on what I thought was wrong with Shila, so my logical advice to her was to go to a clinic and see a doctor. Then her reply came...

'saya nak makan ubat dulu, mcm mana kak, tapi saya rasa panas la.'

Aduuuh, if she had already decided to just swallow some pills at home no matter what my reply was, might as well not ask me what to do. I don't know what kind of answer she had expected from me. Maybe all she wanted to hear from me was that there was nothing to worry about. Or did she expect me to scare her by saying that it was a life threatening situation?! Or did she actually expect medical advice from me?

Hmmm... or did she expect some kind of jampi serapah from me to cure her?

Hey mambang biru, mambang kuning, mambang hijau (oops, sorry Dalilah!)

Oh well, I guess she just wanted to mengadu hal. I do hope she finally decided to see a medical doctor.

Which reminds me of an elderly relative of mine (dah arwah dah pun...) who got ill and went to the clinic to see a doctor. The moment he got in the doctor's room and sat down, the doctor asked, "Ya pakcik, sakit apa?"

And his answer?

"Kalau aku tau idak le aku jumpa kamu!"

Fuyoo... banyak garang wor...