Sha's dilemma

When I first met Sha during my HIV clinic duty, the first question she asked was whether the hospital could arrange for an abortion. She was pregnant then and it was during the tests done for her pregnancy that she was found to be HIV positive. Not knowing much about HIV, she thought her baby was sure to be infected if she continued her pregnancy. She was in a dilemma - what was she supposed to do?!

What she didn’t know was that there were precautions that could be taken and the baby need not necessarily be infected. We explained to her that she’d be given medication called AZT which she must take during her pregnancy, delivery must be through operation and after delivery, she must not breastfeed her baby. Although she was not totally convinced, Sha finally decided to continue with her pregnancy after her husband disagreed to abortion.

Sha was married to another man earlier and had a child from her first marriage. Due to her former husband’s drug addiction and his promiscuity activities, she asked for a divorce. Both remarried and still stay in the same kampong, so they still do meet each other. As a matter of fact, Sha’s relationship with her mother-in-law is still as good as before.

After she was diagnosed HIV positive, Sha’s first child and present husband were brought for tests. They were both confirmed negative. It was a relief for Sha knowing they were both negative, but Sha still felt guilty for her husband. She told her husband that she was willing to be divorced and let her husband marry another woman and lead a normal life.

But no, her present husband was very supportive. He refused to let her go just because of her HIV status and he totally disagreed to her idea of abortion. After discussing with her present husband, Sha decided that she should tell her former husband about it so he could avoid passing the virus to other unsuspecting people, particularly now that he has remarried.

But Sha’s former husband was in total denial. He simply refused to accept the fact that Sha got the virus from him. That good-for-nothing guy insisted that he had nothing to do with Sha’s HIV infection.

There was nothing much Sha could do then. She tried to tell him for his own sake and for the sake of the people he loved, but he refused to listen. She had done her part and if he was responsible enough, he would have at least gone for tests.

During last year’s Hari Raya gathering I organized for the Malay ladies, Sha was at first reluctant to join as she feared she may be meeting someone she knew. She kept asking me if there was anyone else from her kampong who would be attending the gathering. Actually Zana was from the same kampong and I was quite sure they knew each other but I never told them about each other. Furthermore by then I had already sent Zana to the shelter home in KL.

I persuaded Sha to come for the gathering so that I could introduce her to other HIV positive ladies who had gone through pregnancies. It would be good for her to learn their experiences first hand instead of just listening to my stories. Sha finally agreed to join.

It was a good experience for her. During the gathering, she got to meet Zainab, whose child was already one year plus and Fuzi, whose baby was then about 5 months old. Sha became more relaxed after listening to them about their experiences during pregnancy and delivery.

Sha delivered in December last year, a few days earlier than the scheduled operation. When she called to inform me that there was some bleeding and asked me what was to be done (as though I knew what to do… *sheepish smile*), I told her to immediately go to the hospital and not wait for her appointment day.

Thank goodness she went immediately. She delivered a baby boy that very same night. Had she waited for the day of her appointment, she probably would have just delivered at home through normal delivery and her baby’s chances of getting infected would then be high.

Sha and baby are doing fine now, and her husband is still very supportive of her. Sha may have been unlucky to get infected from her first husband, but she is very lucky her present husband is a very responsible and understanding man. He always knew what to say when Sha got caught in awkward situations with all sorts of questions people ask… the most popular question being, why she did not breastfeed her baby despite being a full time housewife.

Unlike my other PLWHA clients whom I have to visit regularly on a monthly basis, in Sha’s case I’d just call from time to time to ask how she’s doing. Although initially during her pregnancy she was rather paranoid, now she is a more relaxed person. I think she’s doing just fine. If I do get another pregnant PLWHA assigned to me, I now have another good example to show.

Just as I was about to publish this post, I received a call from Wina, Fuzi’s daughter. They ran out of milk powder for Iwan again. Has it been a month already? Oh dear, time sure flies. So there will be another house visit tomorrow…