Change of plans: From hospital visit to house visit…

I had wanted to visit Zainab’s daughter, Kakak, at the hospital this morning but simply couldn’t get a parking space. Even my usual parking area where others don’t usually want to park (because it’s quite far to walk to the hospital), were full this morning.

I called Zainab, this time she answered. Although earlier she mentioned that Kakak may need to be operated for suspected appendix, this time Zainab told me that the girl need not go through any operation after all. I guess it wasn’t her appendix that gave her problems. But she still needed to stay in the ward for further tests, especially since the girl does have kidney problems.

Since I couldn’t get a proper parking space, I decided to cancel my plan to visit Kakak and change to plan B to visit Lin instead. Somebody had given some cash through me to be given to Lin, for her to spend for Ramadhan/Syawal, so I thought I might as well visit her today. There were some photos (of our recent Family Day) that I needed to pass to her as well. So I called Lin, just to be sure she’s home. I wouldn’t want to go all the way to her house only to find out that she was in Ipoh for her hospital appointment!!

Lin said she was at home and was not planning to go anywhere, so I told her I’d be coming. Within half an hour, I was at her house. Lin was concentrating on her sewing and didn’t realise my presence until I got to right in front of the door. Her 14 year old daughter was ironing her school uniform.

Education-wise, Lin’s daughters seemed to be doing quite well. Her 1st & 3rd daughter are already working, while her second daughter has to study a little bit longer since she’s taking up medicine overseas. Lin’s 4th, her son, had never done well in school, and even after SPM he was doing one thing after another. One moment he’d say he wanted to work, next moment he’d say he wanted to take up whatever courses with some friends. Latest, he had gone up north to take up a short course, and according to him, right after the 3 months course, he’d be offered a job. His mother or sisters couldn’t ask much, he wouldn’t say much, but it’s something to do with shipping, or so he said.

Lin’s 5th child, a 16 year old boy, isn’t doing too well in school either. Joining a vocational class, his last exam results slip showed a number of subjects which he got G’s (for gagal). The only subject he scored an A was “kimpalan” (welding), the one and only subject that he’s interested in. For other subjects which he’d need to sit down and study, he failed miserably. Last year, for his PMR, I offered Lin to pay for his tuition (he is under our Sponsorship Program), but he himself refused. No point paying for his tuition if he wasn’t going to attend. He doesn’t seem interested to study. He is even contemplating to do part time jobs during school holidays so he’d have some money to get a motorcycle license.

Lin’s youngest daughter is an average student in school. Last year she turned out one of the tops in her class, and so this year she was transferred to what Lin calls “kelas budak pandai”. This year since she’s sharing a class with better students, she got to the lower bottom of the class.

Right now, financially I’m not too worried about Lin’s family. With her 2 girls already working (although “baru nak hidup” as people say), and I know that the girls are the responsible type, at least there is always something in the kitchen for them to eat. My main concern now is her sons, especially her 16 year old who doesn’t seem to be bothered about his studies. He already likes to join his friends go fishing etc instead of studying or doing his homework at home.

I just hope the 2 boys will not end up like their father.

Which reminds me… what’s the latest news about their father, Mr Darling? What about the case reported by his wife (now ex-wife) for molesting his step-daughter? Well, since her 14 year old daughter was there, I didn’t want to ask Lin about Mr D. Didn’t want to be discussing Mr D’s molest case in front of any of their children, especially the younger ones. Although the eldest daughter despises the father, Lin always reminded them that good or bad, he’s still their father.

So no, no updates on Mr Darling today, ok?

Unwell daughter… irresponsible husband…

I was relaxing at home on Sunday when a call came in from an unfamiliar number. At first I thought it was one of those unwanted telemarketing calls, but when I answered the call, the voice at the other end sounded familiar. It was Zainab, whom I couldn’t call earlier because she didn’t have a phone. Even for our recent Family Day, I had to leave a note with her daughter at her house (Zainab was at work) to inform her of when and where to wait for one of our volunteers to fetch her.

Anyway, she called to give me her new number and to ask if the Family Day photos were ready. She also mentioned that for this week she’d be on night shift at her workplace and so I could visit her during the day time.

With photos already printed, and money has started coming in from donors to be used for my poor PLHIV families, on Monday morning I decided to shop for some groceries before visiting Zainab and her family at home. Once I got all the stuff into my car, I called Zainab to inform her I was on my way. But she didn’t answer my call. At first I thought she could be in the bathroom or something, but after a while, she returned my call. She was at the hospital with her daughters.

Her older daughter, more affectionately called Kakak, had been unwell and since the girl’s appointment at the paediatric clinic is only in August, quite a long way to go, Zainab decided to bring her to the hospital yesterday. It was not advisable to bring the girl to other clinics since all her records are at the Ipoh GH paediatric clinic (the girl has kidney problems). So after coming home from work at about 6.45 am, and after a short nap, Zainab called a colleague of mine (the one who fetched her for our family day earlier) to ask if he could send her and daughter to the hospital. So yes, my colleague who stays not too far from Zainab’s place, fetched them at home and sent them to the hospital on his way to work.

Upon being told that they were at the hospital, I decided to go straight to the hospital. And as usual, finding a parking space within the hospital compounds was almost impossible – unless you’re lucky enough to pass by at the right time when another car is going out. I parked outside and walked.

The moment I walked into the paeds clinic, there was no problem spotting Zainab and her 2 daughters. They were still waiting for their turn to see the doctor. Adik was playing at the playground. I immediately showed Kakak their family day photos. She was smiling from ear to ear looking at the photo of her on the horse.

When it was kakak’s turn to see the doctor, Zainab went in with her. Knowing that I was outside, she let Adik continue playing.

Apparently when they went to see the doctor, the doc wanted to get more tests done on Kakak and told her that she’d need to get her blood taken for testing. Scared of needles, the girl asked the good doc if they could take her mother’s blood instead… :-)

Once her urine and blood samples were taken and sent to the lab, Zainab was told to bring the girl again to the hospital on Wednesday to see the doctor after test results are out. The 2 girls had been complaining they were hungry, so I brought them to the cafeteria. Knowing they loved chicken, the first thing I asked was if they wanted nasi ayam for lunch (it was already noon by then), and immediately they smiled. Kakak had one plate of nasi ayam for herself, while Adik shared with her mother. The little girl ended up eating most of the chicken while her mother finished up the rice…

After lunch, I sent them home. They didn’t realise I had some groceries at the back and were quite surprised when I asked them to help carry the stuff down from my car. The 2 girls were all smiles when they saw some of the foodstuff I had bought for them.

Anyway, while waiting at the hospital and in the car while driving them home, I had the chance to chat with Zainab. I asked about Zaki, her husband. I was wondering why he didn’t come along to accompany his daughter to the hospital. By right, it should be him since Zainab had just got home from work and hadn’t had enough rest. Obviously Zainab looked rather fed-up when I asked about Zaki. “Dia nak mati cepat lantak dialah kak, malas dah saya…”

Zaki is no longer going for his hospital appointments. Work? Nope, he’s no longer working either, but that didn’t come as a surprise to me since he had always come up with all sorts of excuses to quit whatever jobs that he had. Even when he was working, he didn’t contribute to the family’s expenses, he spent his wages to buy cigarettes and whatever else for his own needs.  “Dia tak kerja, tapi bukannya nak tolong jaga budak-budak ni pun!”

And the main reason Zainab feels more fed-up than ever is that she suspects he is back on drugs.

“Mana dia dapat duit?” I asked. “Kawan-kawan dialah kak!”

Which reminds me, when I went to their house to leave the note regarding the family day, only Kakak and Adik were home. When I asked the girls where their parents were, Kakak answered, “Ibu kerja. Ayah keluar.” Luckily it was me who went to visit. The door was not even locked. Any strangers could easily go in to kidnap the 2 girls.

I think it was rather irresponsible for him to leave the 2 girls (aged 8 & 6) all by themselves at home, don’t you think? And especially now after knowing what he had been up to of late.

Thank goodness Zainab now has a phone. It would be easier for me to check on them from time to time. And I was thinking I’d check on them on Wednesday after Kakak’s next appointment at the hospital.

However, about 3 pm today, I received a text message from Zainab, sayiing that Kakak had to be warded and may need to be operated. Kakak was down with high fever last night and so Zainab brought the girl to a nearby clinic and was told by the doctor to bring her straight to the hospital as he suspected the girl may need to get her appendix removed.

I tried calling Zainab but my call didn’t get through. I sent a text message to get further info but that too had not been replied. I guess the next few days I may just have to visit at the ward to get further details…

Visiting the K’s

It’s been a while since I last went to visit the K’s. The last visit was in April, immediately after they moved to a newly rented house, quite near the old house. With photos of the Family Day already printed, and some groceries already at our centre, I decided to give them a visit on Saturday. I texted Mrs K first to ask if anybody would be home. Mrs K herself would probably be working, so I just wanted to be sure any of her children would be around so I could leave them the groceries and photos. According to Mrs K, her 16 year old daughter would be home, so yeah, I went ahead with my plan.

The door was closed when I got to their house. I honked, and immediately I saw a girl peeping through the window. After a while Mr K opened the door and came out.

“Tak kerja ke?” I asked.

“Baru balik pukul 1,” he replied.

Since he was around, I got him to carry the box of groceries out of my car. I just carried the 10kg pack of rice. His 2 younger girls also came out. The 16 year old was not around – her aunt just came to fetch her to help in the baking of some raya cookies to be sold during the coming Ramadhan. Shah, the eldest boy, just started work at the nearby petrol station. Mrs K was not back from work yet.

Since the girls were around, I went in for a while, and passed the family day photos to them. The girls got excited, especially looking at the photo of the 2 of them riding the horse. Despite the fact that I had reduced my visits to their house ever since Mrs K started sending me text messages wanting to borrow money, 4 year old Baby K had always been friendly with me. Ever since she was small and couldn’t even talk, right to now when she’s already quite a chatty little girl, she’d always welcome my visits. In fact when she followed her parents to the hospital some time in May, when she saw me in the counselling room, she came in just to give me a peck on my cheeks and immediately went out again.

Well, this time she was telling me all sorts of stories… some I understood, some I didn’t. After a while, a cute little white kitten came in and immediately headed towards me. Baby K took the kitten in her arms. The kitten jumped from the girl’s arms and came running to me again, this time hiding underneath my kain, right between by legs. Baby K was so afraid the kitten wanted to follow me back, she grabbed the kitten from between my legs, and this time she didn’t let go.

“Apa nama dia?” I asked.

“Tot!” answered the older sister.

“Bukanlah! Nama dia Lily!” the little girl replied.

Anyway, I asked Mr K about 20 year old Shah. I was quite concerned about his future. If he doesn’t start thinking seriously of his future, what is he going to feed his family when he gets married? Shah was supposed to join Giat Mara starting July but none of the courses offered at the Giat Mara near his place were of interest to him. He’s more into automotive stuff and the Giat Mara offering such a course is quite a distance away, and they don’t offer accommodation. There is a newly opened Kolej Komuniti quite near their place, which offers automotive courses AND provide accommodation as well, so he’s aiming to apply for their January intake.

Let’s just hope this time it will work out as planned…

Clinic duty: 3 different ladies, 3 different stories…

I was on clinic duty again on Wednesday. This time I got to the hospital half an hour early. We volunteers are supposed to be there at 10 am, but I decided to go a wee bit early so that I could have a short rest before getting any case referred.

But as I got in the doctor’s room, although the doctor wasn’t there yet (she was still doing her rounds at the wards), the nurse told me that one of the new patients was already there.

So off I went to the support service room, and within minutes SN came in with the new patient, a lady in her late 20’s. Bibah had been diagnosed HIV+ since more than 3 years ago, and had already been going for follow-ups at the hospital, but in another state across the South China Sea. Some time back, she and her husband came back to Ipoh to visit her husband’s side of the family. Initially it was meant to be just a short visit before heading back across South China Sea, but Bibah got sick and checks showed she was down with TB and unfit to travel. So they stayed on longer. However, since they hadn’t planned to stay longer, they didn’t transfer their hospital appointments  to Ipoh. Bibah’s husband didn’t even bother to make any arrangements to get his case transferred to Ipoh, while Bibah herself, since she was hospitalised due to her TB, was referred to Ipoh’s ID clinic. And on Wednesday was her first appointment, which was why her case got referred to me.

Anyway, Bibah’s husband had married before but by the time he married Bibah, he was already divorced. Bibah knew about his ex-wife, but that was all. What the husband didn’t tell her was, by then he had already been diagnosed HIV+, and in fact was already going for follow-up appointments at the hospital. Bibah got pregnant, and what a shocker it was for her when blood tests showed she was HIV+. It was only during this time that her husband finally told her that he had long been infected with HIV.

Bibah felt cheated. She was mad with her husband, but it was too late. No matter how she felt, she was already infected. And she was pregnant. Thank goodness her child, a boy, turned out negative.

Bibah had since forgiven her husband (oh well, sort of… I think it was more of feeling insecure if she separates with her husband) and is still together with him. And none of Bibah’s or her husband’s family members know of their HIV status.

Since their stay here in Ipoh had been prolonged, Bibah had got herself a job as a helper at a canteen. Her husband does wiring work. But what I’m concerned about is the fact that the husband, according to Bibah, is still taking drugs. Sigh…

Anyway, the couple plans to go back to Bibah’s home state by the end of this year.

The next case referred to me was a single young lady, Vasanthi. Recently a friend of hers told her that she heard about Vasanthi’s ex-boyfriend having AIDS. Worried, Vasanthi went for blood test, and regrettably, the result came out positive. Not wanting her elderly parents to know, she confided in her cousin in KL, who advised her to go for a second opinion in KL. She just told her parents that she was going to attend a friend’s wedding in KL, and her cousin helped to get her tested and referred to Sg Buloh Hospital. But she can’t be giving the same excuse to her parents every time she needs to go for appointments, so she was advised to fix her appointments in Ipoh instead. Although there is an HIV clinic at the hospital in the town where she and her parents stay, Vasanthi wanted to avoid having friends or relatives bumping into her at the HIV clinic, so she opted for Ipoh.

Even for Wednesday’s hospital appointment, Vasanthi’s parents thought she was out for work. She should be able to get back before office hour ends, so there shouldn’t be any problem of her parents asking where she went. (Unless of course, her father suddenly decides to drop by her office lah kan…)

Vasanthi seemed calm, but the moment she started telling me her story, tears started flowing. I think all she needed was just to get things out of her system. Now it seems she has a new boyfriend, who knows about her HIV but still willing to accept her in his life. Vasanthi had however, told him to think things over.

There was no further new case referred to me after Vasanthi’s, but one familiar looking lady did walk in. It was Wan, the Orang Asli lady whose kampong is only accessible by motorbikes and 4-wheel drives. We had been trying to call her for our recent Family Day, to no avail. Apparently Wan had changed her phone number because one guy, trying to woo her, kept calling her.

“Kalau ya pun tukar nombor kenapa tak bagitau? Saya sikit lagi aje nak stopkan bantuan bulanan untuk anak awak,” I said to her.

“Saya hilang nombor telefon kakak!” came the reply.

Her son came along with her as he was unwell and needed to see a doctor. That was the first time I met her son, who is under our Education Sponsorship program. Hairul, 12, will be sitting for his UPSR this year. Very active in sports too, in fact he represents the state for sepak takraw and so he got to go to other states as well.

Wan now works at a rubber plantation, earning a take home pay of just about RM250/month. During the weekdays, she stays in a rented home in town with a few other friends and only goes back to her kampong house on weekends. Luckily Hairul’s school provides hostel facilities to all the Orang Asli kids. Every Friday after school, the children will walk home, which may take an hour or so. Imagine if they have to walk to school every day.

With a take-home pay of RM250, Wan definitely needs extra help. When her husband was still alive, they used to get monthly aid from the Welfare Department. After her husband died, the financial aid was transferred to her name. But after a while, it stopped. I think that was mainly because Wan had not only changed her phone number, she also moved to her parent’s kampong without informing the department. The previous aid came from the Welfare Office of another district, Wan should have informed them when she moved to another district.

I may need to get her buddy to help out in this since the buddy stays in the town where the district welfare office is.

Meeting up with a new client…

Almost 3 weeks ago, while I was driving to KL, a call came in from a lady. Initially I thought she was an HIV+ lady needing someone to talk to, but apparently she was seeking help for her older sister, Mimi who was infected. The lady who called me, Lia, was the one taking care of Mimi at home, with full support from Lia’s husband.

Since I was driving, it wasn’t really the right time for us to chat. And usually I prefer to meet face to face as I’d be able to get more info that way rather than just speaking on the phone. So I told Lia, I’d try to visit in about 2 weeks time. I was then quite busy with the Family Day preparations.

I almost forgot about Mimi and Lia until end of last week when I was planning some visits to the homes of my clients. Immediately I called Lia to find out if it was okay for me to visit them this week. Lia was actually waiting for my call. I asked her to SMS me her address, but she instead just gave me directions to a place I was not too familiar with.

So yesterday morning, I sent a text message to Lia, asking her to text me her house address so I could set it in my GPS. There was no answer, so I just set my GPS to the name of the taman I thought Lia mentioned when I spoke to her last week.

As I was driving at the highway, Lia called. She said she was unable to use the SMS function on her phone and so she called to give me the address. I was driving and was not in a position to write down the address, and so had to memorise the address. And apparently the name of the taman I thought she mentioned last week was also wrong. She mentioned “damai”, I remembered it as “aman”… :-)

After exiting at the toll house, I stopped by the road side to reset my GPS. Alamak, the taman was not listed in my GPS. I had no choice but to depend on the directions Lia gave me earlier last week. As I was about to move on, Lia called again. It seems Mimi no longer wanted to stay with Lia and had decided to move back to her own home on Sunday. So Lia asked if I still wanted to visit if Mimi wasn’t around. I told Lia we could still discuss how we could help Mimi.

So I continued my drive, and without a problem, I found the junction leading to the taman, as there was a huge signboard listing all the tamans in the area. Only problem was, once I got in to that junction, there was no further signboard indicating which way was this taman and which way was that taman. But I remembered Lia mentioning earlier about passing by a mini market and so the moment I saw the mini market, I stopped to call Lia.

“Akak jalan teruuuus sampai hujung belok kiri, hujung lagi belok kiri lagi. Saya tunggu kat luar rumah pakai baju warna merah, eh, pink!”

Ah, the house wasn’t too hard to find after all, if only they had put up proper signboards leading to the various tamans…

Lia was quite friendly. She immediately opened up about lots of things. About how their parents died when they were young, and how the siblings got separated, one taken care by aunt, one by grand aunt etc. So they were not really close to each other until much later in their lives after they got married.

Mimi herself was unlucky to have married a hard core drug addict.

“Dah lama ke suami dia meninggal?” I asked Lia about Mimi’s husband.

“Eh, bukan meninggal… cerai,” Lia replied. “Tapi sekarang ni tak tau lah dia di mana. Hidup lagi ke tidak pun entah!”

All her married life, Mimi was the one who had to work and support the family. Her husband was always in and out of Pusat Serenti. They have 2 sons, both grown up now. The older boy is working in another state, earning just enough to support himself, while the younger one for the moment stays together with Mimi.

They finally got divorced about 3 or 4 years ago, not knowing that they were both infected. It was only recently when Mimi was down with TB and had to be hospitalised did she find out that she had HIV. By then her condition was so bad, whenever relatives visited, they all thought Mimi didn’t have that long to live. And things got worse when Mimi fell and became half-paralysed. So Lia took Mimi to her home to take care of her.

Mimi did get better physically. She still walks with a little difficulty but at least she can already walk. But ever since diagnosed with HIV, Mimi became ultra sensitive. Any advise given to her, especially by family members, she’d think she had become a burden to the family and that the whole family hated her. And because she had not forgiven her husband for what happened to her, from time to time she’d say to Lia, “Engko percaya sangat la laki engko tu. Entah dia keluar pergi mana entah.” Sometimes, Lia did get somewhat influenced, making her feel suspicious of her husband.

Mimi finally decided to move back to her own house (bought when she was still working) last Sunday, after she got a compensation of RM18K from her former employers when they had to close down some time ago. When Lia told her yesterday that I was coming over, at first Mimi said she didn’t want to come. Which was why Lia called to inform me that Mimi had gone back to her own home.

How long can RM18K last? The moment Mimi got her compensation, her son, who was staying with her, asked for a new motorbike. And the moment he got his motorbike, he stopped working! (he was earlier working for an uncle)

Lia’s main concern was if the son would really take care of Mimi. All the while Lia made sure Mimi took all her medication on time, took her to the hospital etc.

“Akak jumpa dia nanti, akak tanyalah sendiri,” Lia told me.

“Dia nak datang ke? Tadi kata dia takde?”

“Dah, saya dah telefon dia balik, cakap akak dah on the way. Saya kata akak nak bincang macam mana boleh tolong dia. Nanti kejap lagi dia datang, anak dia bawak.”

After a while Mimi arrived with her son on a motorbike. While she could walk, I could see she was still walking with difficulty.

“Ni dah dok rumah sendiri, boleh ke masak?”

“Saya sikit-sikit bolehlah. Masak, anak yang masak.”

“Pandai dia masak?”

“Masak orang bujang, bolehlah…”

The problem now is, the son got himself a job in another state, starting August, meaning his mother will be alone at home, if she still insists on staying in her own house. Given her condition, I don’t think it’s advisable. But the son didn’t seem too bothered about how his mother will cope alone at home.

Anyway, I looked through all her documents, and obviously Mimi should be able to apply for Socso’s disability pension. I taught both Lia and Mimi on how to go about, especially in getting the doctor’s report. Mimi had initially thought she’d just bring the form during her next appointment in Ipoh and ask the doctor to fill in and sign the form there and then. I told them they wouldn’t be able to get the report that way.

I think I may need to do a few follow up visits to Mimi’s house. Although initially it was Lia who called me to seek help for her sister, from my visit yesterday, Mimi seemed receptive enough to allow me to visit her at her own home. As Lia told me earlier, sometimes Mimi would prefer to listen to others rather than her own family, which was why Lia sought my help in the first place.

I’d probably be able to get more info from Mimi too if I meet her alone…